How long should she talk before asking for a dance?

I've been to a lot of clubs where the minute a dancer sits down next to you the bartender or waitress will immediately appear and ask if you'd like to buy the lady a drink. And then they have special dancer drinks that are smaller and more expensive than the regular ones. That's annoying but standard procedure in a lot of gentlemen's clubs. If I buy a girl a drink I expect her to sit with me while she drinks it. Anything else is really rude.

I personally think that buying a drink should be considered a tip also, you are doing the girl a favor when you buy her that drink which is keeping the boss off her back. I was at a club about a month ago during the afternoon, and the dancer came to our table and said her boss was wanting her to go sit with the customers (I found that statement to be pretty rude but did not take it personally), then after talking about she is so sick of drinking at work... she asks one of the guys I was with to buy her a drink. And wouldn't you know it she ordered some bullshit $12 daqari. It was pretty clear her boss was wanting her to sit with us for that purpose.

I don't mind *offering* to buy a drink for a dancer that I am having a good time with or I come to see often, but when they come sit down for a few minutes then ask for a drink I get irritated. Another good one I have seen on more than one occasion is when a girl has you buy her a drink, then she takes one sip and leaves it at the table to go somewhere and never return.

I typically do not buy drinks for dancers. I guess that means that I typically do not tip for conversation as well. However I have on a few occasions splurged and bought a dancer a drink. Something about drinking down a few and not offering to buy a drink must make me feel like offering a drink on a few occasions. Of course that is the exception for me rather than the typical reaction. In a byob club or bring your own beer, I have in the past shared a beer out of my cooler when the dancer asked. I guess that could be a form of tipping as well. At $6 for a 6 pack, that would be about a $1 tip. Beer typically costs a little bit more now.

I've been to a lot of clubs where the dancers are required to get customers to buy a certain number of drinks for them or else they have to buy them themselves. So buying a drink is equivalent to tipping.

If an out of state dancer comes here and expects a tip for simply talking for a few minutes, then she won't last long. Asking for a tip just for sitting and talking for a few minutes is what I consider rude where I live at. Of course drinks may be considered differently here than a cash tip. Since they stop serving drinks after midnight on Saturday night here in some clubs, I often can avoid buying drinks as well.

I live in the southeast and I never ever tip the girls for talking. I don't usually tip after a dance either unless it was extremely good. Every once in a while though, I do buy a dancer a drink so I guess that might be a form of tipping. I usually prefer not to but if I'm having a good time I might be willing.

I guess other parts of the country have different tipping expectations.

I'll usually tip a girl who sits with me and talks for awhile before heading off for dancing. But it depends on the place, in the fancier places it is expected while in the more casual neighborhood places it often isn't. It also depends on whether the club gets a cut of the private dance money or not - when they do the girls are more likely to expect a tip.

I think around 2 songs is a good time a stripper should spend with you before they ask for a private, unfortunately it is usually about 15 seconds like you said. Girls want to get an immediate gauge for your spending possibilities and bail out to the next customer as fast as possible, which is understandable on busy nights but when a club is relatively empty it is pretty rude I think. I have seen girls be in the dressing room for 20 minutes, come out to do their set, then ask you if you want a private immediately when they come down from the stage... if you say no they will dissappear into the dressing room again until they are due back on stage. They should put a little salesmenship into the private dance offers.

Regarding tips, maybe I am a cheapscate but I rarely tip when getting privates -- especially if I spend a lot of money with the girl. The clubs around here are anywhere from $25-$40 per song, and never have 2-for-1 song specials or anything. If I get 3 songs for $75, I will probly give her $80 out of convenience, but generally I feel they are more then fairly compensated for their time and a tip isn't necessary. It really pisses me off when a girl asks for one after a dance (it rarely happens, but when it does it is usually from the dancers that give shitty privates to boot).

Well, she knows you plan to buy her a drink. That won't pay her bills. I understand what you are saying but a lot of dancers will go sit with a regular who they KNOW is going to buy dances before they will sit with e new customer who, to them, may not be a sure thing.

If I'm in a club where I don't have a favorite girl, I usually try to sit somewhere where a girl can't sit down next to me, like on a bar stool between two others that are taken. Then when I see a gil I like on stage, I go tip her and ask if I can buy her a drink, then sit down at a table and wait for her. If she goes off to join someone else, I pick another girl and do it all over again. Thus the drink is aprt of the original invitation and she knows I plan to spend money on her.

As far as how long to talk, it seems more a matter to me about how long does it take to determine if you want a dance if you're interested in getting dances. Is she your type? I want to be able to look at most of a dancer instead of her being so close I can only see her face. How much does she charge for a dance? What are her rules? I guess in some clubs this info will always be the same. It's your money and you should be able to have a minute at least to determine if you're getting what you want for your money.

I've encountered a different situation. A dancer asks to sit with me and I'm not interested in getting a dance from her. I know that immediately because she's not my type. I immediately tell her I don't mind but I'm not interested in getting a dance. At least one dancer sat down anyway. I was thinking, what is the point? I ignored her as well for the next few minutes. It's a little bit easier when the sound volume is high. I finally got rid of her by telling her I was going to tip a girl on stage. She was gone when I got back.

I just refuse to tip my hand that quickly. A dancer has to learn how to work a room on busy nights or slow. I don't expect a lady to sit with me when she has regulars waiting to spend money on her but I'm never going to promise her dances until after I have chatted with her long enough to know if I am interested. On busy nights, a lady may stop by 2 or 3 times for a few minutes at a time and ultimately, that patience may pay off.

It wasn't actually $80 for 15 minutes was it? What I mean is I assume she had to prep you in order to get you interested in buying a dance. If you say $80 for an hour and fifteen minutes is still not bad, then I still wouldn't disagree. Some people would love to net $10 an hour especially is the company is friendly. Anyway, you sound like a savy customer who is getting excellent value.

To answer the original question, how long the girl is willing to talk is a function of how busy the club is. If you're there when it's empty she's likely to be willing to sit a talk for quite a while, but if the place is busy she's going to want to keep moving to make as much as she can. The way around this is to let the girl know fairly quickly that you plan to buy some private dances from her but that you like to sit and get to know her a little first. It also helps if you buy her a drink or two, especially in clubs where she has a drink minimum, which a lot of clubs do.

Hi Shadowcat,

I see so many people get royally rip trying to get a FREE lunch offered on a silver platter. The oldest and dumbest con is to show good faith and I will share all this money with you. Typically, it is a found lottery ticket or money. The latest version of this stupid scam that I witnessed involved a young stripper her who worked at The Trap. Her boyfriend, actually a pimp with other hot young girls, had all the markers of wealth--expensive clothes, jewelry, luxury truck, large home, the works. He promised to share his wealth and love, if she proved she was worthy by earning his trust. She earned his trust by giving him all her earnings from stripping and prostitution. She told me, you can see for yourself how wealthy he is and when I earn his confidence I will have all that wealth as well as his full love.

He was offering to meet her needs: The promise of an easier life and love. She broke into tears when I told her the truth and she couldn't accept it. She kept repeating that he really loves her. I laughed and said that is why he has you selling your body and doesn't even provide you condoms. She said you just don't understand, I have to EARN his TRUST. After that she wanted nothing to do with me and I was glad not to be part of the unfolding train wreck.

I give up. What is a LEO?
Also, I'm used to spending $40 for a 2 song dance. Is it too much to expect a 2 song discussion before going to the back based on that price. Should you tip on a $40 2 for 1? If so how much?

Law Enforcement Officer

I would say it depends on what you're looking for. For me, the old wanna dance works just fine because conversation is not too important for me to have a fantastic time. Yes, it is nice but I'd rather the dancer be making $ than talking with me and will even feel guilty unless the place is dead. If she wants to talk, then that is fine to and some dancers feel better about getting to know the customer before giving dances. Not all dancers are just about the money.

2 or 3 songs works best for me. I won't buy dances with a girl until I have figured out if their might be a connection or not. You can't do this in 15 seconds.