Discouraging Leeches

Every few days we get a post from some guy who has either just signed up for the site, or posted 1-2 reviews in the past ten years, who asks some version of “what’s the best club in x city” or “where can I get extras in x city,” or something similar. Unless such a poster can present a plausible excuse for their non-participation (like perhaps being a newbie who is looking to get more involved), I either don’t answer or at all or I answer with a suggestion that the poster needs to contribute to the site and not just be a leech who just takes our knowledge and never gives back. Many others do the same. However, invariably, somebody (or several somebodies) will provide some valuable intelligence and thus leeches are encouraged to keep sucking us dry (in a hetero, bacon loving, non-sexual sense of sucking).

Since we can’t seem to reach a consensus not to answer such questions, I think the next best strategy would be to designate a person to respond who is unlikely to provide any useful information. Thus, we accomplish the goal of discouraging leeches, while satisfying the need of some to make some type of response. Here are my suggestions for good candidates for the job, and why their answers would likely not be of much help to the leeches.

Papi -- He will simply identify black clubs with free parking.

LMN. He won’t tell them anything as he appears to have died of a drug overdose, at least until he reappears with some unbelievable tale of wealth, intrigue, and drugs.

SanJoseGuy. He will bore them to tears with the excruciatingly detailed story of Santa Clara county strip club laws going back to the 1970s, along with tons of other useless, irrelevant, and mind numbing details about some topic about some issue at some time somewhere ...........

Jerikson40. Not sure what he’ll say, but since he’s wrong 90% of the time it shouldn’t be a problem whatever it is.

JohnSmith69. He is incapable of providing any useful information at the moment because he can’t get over the fact that his ATF is displaying stripper shit and doesn’t love him anymore.

Shadowcat. He will just tell everyone to come to Follies and bring him Viagra.

Dougster. He will say something threatening that includes calling them a faggot.

Skibum609. He will just tell them how many years he has been practicing as a divorce lawyer.

Lowpaw. She would give useful information about LA clubs, but they likely wouldn’t listen because they couldn’t believe that a woman could view strippers and strip clubs just like a man does.

Lapdanceking82. He would just warn posters not to travel very far and to be content leaving the club with sticky pants.

GoVikings. He would only comment on clubs in Richmond VA which are about as thrilling as chubby chasing through the local Walmart.

Clubber. He would only identify the clubs that have bicycle parking.

CrazyJoe. His comments will be limited to one word or a meaningless phrase like “splat” “lol” or “bump bump.”