A Stripper's Resume

I suppose it is accurate.

I was talking to a dancer recently that just came back from a family gathering. She was telling me about her younger brother and sister. She was proud of little bro who just started university and then mentioned her 15-year old sister. She said that she asked her sister if she had a boyfriend. Sister said she didn't and that she wasn't interested in dating because she really wanted to focus on school to get into a good university and become a doctor or scientist.

I felt a little sad for the stripper when she added that she felt great about this and then added something to the effect of "I mean, I'm smart...I began college...but I have trouble thinking long term. I know I could be in college but I don't want to be broke. I can make a lot of money at this but it isn't long term".

At least she recognized the situation. It sounds like Jack's girl is a bit clueless about the fact that being a stripper won't help her find non-stripper jobs.

I hope the girl does find something else if it is her time to leave.

I can only speak from personal experience, but it seems to me that isn't so much that they dance, rather were all the money goes. My ATF was very frugal. She retired with a lot of money and had invested it wisely. She works now in the travel industry, but she really doesn't have to. Just "busy" work, if you ask me.

Lol!

Cute! Suggested edits:

Position: Full commission salesperson
Skills: Prospecting, Identifying Customer Needs, Addressing Objections, Negotiating & Closing sales. Strong, persuasive closer with proven ability to sell extras after the initial sale. Excellent long term customer management skills.

steve,

Excellent!

@steve229: You may have been joking, but that's actually some decent advice for at least some of these girls. I've known quite a few who would do well in mainstream sales.

lol jack, funny as always.

But on a serious note, I don't understand how some of these strippers don't have any other career plans in mind/set up for themselves. Nothing wrong with stripping, but surely these girls are aware that they can't do it forever. I would think these girls have enough common sense to realize that.

So why don't they have some type of plans for higher education or if not that, some other type of plan for a future job that comes post stripping?

Is it because they live for the moment or what?

Unfortunately, sometimes they become career strippers working into their late 40's and early 50's

GoVikings
Some women never see themselves as anything other than the cute 19 year old, one year out of high school, who had tons of older guys falling all over themselves to get next to her. Why worry about the future when your looks and sexuality can get you anything you want. They assume, falsely, that they will make and save enough money stripping to give them a financial cushion when they are ready to plan their next move. Oops, car payments, rent, deadbeat dads, unemployed boyfriends, drug habits, greedy/needy friends and relatives, legal fees, child rearing expenses all have a way of draining that dream. Pushing 30 and seeing 20 somethings stealing regular customers leads some into escorting or looking for a sugar daddy. By the time they get close to 40, who knows what they will be doing.They sure don't. A few level headed strippers develop and execute a plan for growth and financial stability, but they are rare. I am still puzzled by strippers I know OTC who were lawyers and CPAs. They just wanted the extra money and the attention. When their professional practices collapsed because of hangovers, missed meetings and appointments, boyfriends storming into the office, stripping was all they had. Sad, but not my problem.

Funny shit

I always wondered what ex strippers put on job applications for work during the previous 10 years. The ones with kids can always claim home maker but what about the rest.

Does McDonald's really care?

Yolo

Steve, GMD, and Superdude all with great observations.

All depends on who's reviewing the resume and doing the hiring.
If it was only me reviewing that resume, she's get an interview for sure. Doesn't matter what the job was, brain surgeon, whatever, why not call her in for an interview!!!
Unfortuneately, a more professional HR dept. with actuall job their hiring for, might not be so accomidating.

@ GMD: I know a dancer who retired about five years ago after dancing four years. She now works for a photo-copier company, in sales. She told me that she's as good at selling copiers as she was at selling lap dances.

Sales is the most obvious post stripper employment opportunity. I had a vivid demonstration of this a couple of weeks ago. I'm sitting in the first row of tables in front of the tip rail. A cute young thing sits down and we start talking. She leans over so one breast hangs completely out, and the other one is at least half visible.

While we talk she starts rubbing my hard on. She does this for about 15 minutes straight. The only time she stops is briefly when I go to the stage to tip. Like a good saleswoman, she resumes the sales pitch as soon as I get back to my table. Occasionally she also reaches up inside my shorts for an even closer feel.

I told her that she would be outstanding in sales once she quit dancing. All she had to do was the same thing to every male customer and she could sell anything. She laughed, said that was a good idea, and then kept refining her sales technique.

In the end she convinced me to go to the lap dance room and close the deal. I wasn't ready to finish the night at that point, but her sales technique prevailed.

If you could just get them to keep regular hours, I would hire many of these girls for a sales position.

I'm sure some of these girls could wear a bikini and open up a water stand......sell men glasses of hose water for $5 a cup.

^^^
True dat Mikey dude.

Even better, they could sell the XXXtra KRIS-pay fried chicken. WEEE-YAWWW!!!

@ Mikeya: Where I live (Seattle) it's almost that simple. Numerous dancers here also have jobs as bikini baristas in drive-up coffee stands. Some even own or have owned their stands. Not quite as cheap as water, but there is mileage available.

Luckily my manager is willing to let me lie on my resume when I decide to find something else to do. She said I can say I was a door girl/hostess/shot girl and use her as a reference. Dancers with agents can pretty much do the same thing with resumes, too. Agents supply employment verification and housing verification.

Funny but sad that sometimes past employment history does not help in getting another job you want. In this case listing her current job will not help in getting a job outside stripping. In many cases it will hurt unless the male interviewer just wants to see the stripper in person or visits clubs himself. Of course then again he may have a jaded view of any of her job skills. Waitress as a job might be more useful than dancer. A conservative Corporation would likely trash her resume right away.

At a very minimum, whatever she lists, she would need to have a reference she can trust in describing her well. You don't want a possible employer to call your boss and he says he feels happy whenever she shows up for work but he never knows when that might be.

This is funny and sad at the same time.

If I were hiring, the conversation might go: "How badly do you want this job?"

The lack of long term planning isn't exclusive to stripper or females. Otherwise intelligent people never think about saving for their future or when they are old. Case in point; a guy who shall remain nameless is in his mid 20's and a security guard (and not a high paid one). In this job he gets to take time off when he wants, he has no real supervision and isn't required to do much. His father gets him a job at his aerospace firm where he can learn a skill gets full benefits and makes almost 5 times what he made as a guard. When he's asked to work overtime he complains bitterly that he should have stayed at his old job and he does everything to get out of working extra.

I'm sorry what kind of dumb does that take? It's not like the new job is all that hard but you do actually need to do things and be there.

I was thinking along the same lines as “occurious”.

There are plenty of non-strippers and non-females whom are in dead end jobs w/ no desire or willingness to do what it takes to better themselves.

Also – there is 2 sides to the coin – not everyone can be a white-collar worker making $100k/yr – as long as a person works hard and is honest w.r.t. their job; maybe they should not be looked down upon.

Often people with “great jobs” and careers are stressed out beyond belief and extremely unhappy although they are “successful” and making good money – for some; they don’t have a life b/c of their “successful” jobs and can often be mentally & physically severely affected b/c of their high paying jobs.

several good comments above.

I would agree that Steve' s suggestions are quite excellent.

@clubber: I would agree, most piss the money away and have nothing to show for it. That's not to say there isn't verified examples to the contrary, but that's a small minority.

@bkk: yep... getting the hot young tart past ye old cows in HR is a challenge

Also, the 'wana dance' girls could do much better if they put some effort into the sales pitch. The most I've spent so far in one shot was due to s good sales approach. Not anywhere near JohnSmih's example, but she was able to get me to call it an evening soon than planned.

I know a stripper who has considered getting out of the business due to some legal troubles with the club and her age--she has been focused on working for a beauty supply store

I allowed one girl to list me as a job reference. When I was contacted about what she had done for me I remarked that she had reliably performed various professional and personal services. She got the job!

@Otto22: Hah! I had a similar one. When my ATF left the clubs, she asked if she could use me as a reference. We agreed that it would be for babysitting/housekeeping. She got the job as well. :)

Geeesh. No wonder many smart companies don't even bother with checking references these days.

...and There's actually professional services which give out fake references. Will create a fake company webpage, etc. Some even advertised other types of professional lying on your behalf.

http://www.careerexcuse.com/

I share GoVikings thoughts on this subject.

Stripper's know how to write?

"not everyone can be a white-collar worker making $100k/yr"

@papi - true, but it's hard for the average TUSCLer to relate, since we're all making over $250k/yr

@Steve-Don't forget about my raise.

Several dancers I've talked to (I seem to gravitate towards older ones leaving the business lol) simply put "independent contractor" on the resume. No gap in employment is shown.

It doesn't really raise any red flags because that could be anything from doing hair to selling Mary Kay to real estate.

Then during the job interview they can be flexible (lie) about what they really did. Different answer for different positions.

@Motor-I took you use of "flexible" during an interview to mean something else.

I use to be a retail manager at a major midrange retailer. Was once given a resume for a sales position and listed for previous employment was as a private contractor for __________ Entertainment, address, and position was as a Customer Service Representative. Sounded great, tried to call number for company and kept going to an answering machine. Called her in and she was very dressed very conservatively and acted very professional. She interviewed very very well. It took about 2 weeks to process applications, and in the interim I visited a local strip club and low and behold, you know who I saw dancing there. I left before she saw me, but I didn't hire her. I conferred with my HR manager, and he decided that if I did and the rest of the staff found out her previous employment (primarily a male staff), it would be either too big a distraction or a sexual harassment case just waiting to happen. Don't know if that was right or wrong, but it was a different time, and I knew the crew I had working for me and he was right, it would have been a problem.