Strippers asking for advice

1. should I go to drug rehab

2. should I get back with my X for the sake of our kids

3. the ne girl stole my new boots. should I kick her ass

Twice I've been asked for advice about filing for bankruptcy. Since have no experience, I could not give an intelligent answer.

During the Great Recession of 2008-2009 I personally know 3 dancers that lost their homes. An ex-favorite totally ignored my advice and just walked away from the home. That's one reason she's an ex

You're a good man Steve. What is there to gain by treating the question as anything other than sincere? If you answer truthfully and respectfully there is always a (very small) chance to say something helpful. And even if you don't say anything helpful you've engaged with the girl like a normal human being and shared your thoughts. And if she doesn't respect that it is probably a good thing to move on.

I say "small chance" in this case not as a slam against strippers. Most people want to hear things like "great idea...a giant picture of Elmo from Sesame Street climbing out of your asshole will be SO sexy." But a sincere "well, I generally think a woman's beauty is hard to enhance...are you sure Elmo will still look great when you're 64?" probably won't hurt you.

For bang69's questions:
1) if you're asking whether it is time to go to rehab the answer is usually yes - go to rehab.
2) that's complicated - I don't know X's strengths and weaknesses. (And don't go any further -- this question is the exception to the "be sincere rule")
3. No, because you might end up in jail.

Usually when a dancer asks me for advice she is just wanting me to approve a decision that she has already made so I will tell her any lie that I think might please her.

Toronto sweetie was serious when she asked me for advice about the fashion retail business that she wanted to undertake. I was not supportive of her plans and tried mightily to convince her to do something different with the substantial savings that she had accumulated. My advice really disappointed her and I think that was the real reason for her dumping me. I haven't seen her since she retired in February to open her business. There has been only one cold, perfunctory phone call between us since that date - a pretty blatant message in the tea leaves for even an old dolt like me to decipher. I fully expect the next call from Toronto sweetie will be an appeal for money when her goofy business fails.

My first OTC dancer when I entered our hobby also retired to the straight world. This girl wanted advice about oil patch careers suitable for women and the education needed for those careers. I gave her legitimate advice to answer her request and be damned if she didn't follow it up with a two year instrumentation technology course at a Calgary technical school. I helped her find her first oil patch job and she seems to be doing well. Last I heard she had married and moved on to a better job with a different company in Saskatchewan.

@art -- OTOH, if you had said "great idea!" you might be together with her asking for loans to help a failing business.

It is probably different with somebody you see regularly outside the club vs someone you talk to in the club. If you don't know the person well you can always equivocate "well, I don't really know _____ but it is hard to begin a new business, etc." but also avoid anything absolutely false.

The big exception, IMO, is any advice to do with a LTR. Can't win on that!

1. I think my apartment is cursed; can you do something about it? (yes)

2. Should I move back to my native country? (probably not)

3. Should I see you OTC? (YES!)

Many years ago, my TUSCL buddy, shikitout, was asked by a dancer for advice on buying an answering machine. He spent several days researching it. Consumer reports, warranties, etc and then gave her an answer. She took his advice but boy was he pissed off when he found out the answering machine was a gift for me. :)

Strippers are like everybody else. They ask for advice, but they don't take it.

My CF asked me if she should buy a Paint or an Appaloosa. I vouched for the Appaloosa. She ended up with a Jumper.

I've been asked many times for advice, mostly my ATF and other favorites. Unless an obviously silly inquiry, I answer as truthfully as I'm able. Some topics, travel, automotive, truckamotive :), financial, abortion, moving in with bf, moving out, legal, arrests, other clubs, etc.

ShadowCat: Oh, my ATF wanted a Fender guitar appraised once. She thought it would be very valuable for some reason; maybe an ex gave it to her as she was a singer for a brief time. I'm a Gibson guy so I don't know much about Fenders but I did lots of research, downloaded the serial number database, and even checked C/L and fLeaBay to get a sense of the market.

It turned out that it wasn't even a Fender! Just some cheap knock off. Oh well. I would have bought it off her if it had been anything worthy.

Like most people I talk to strippers only want information that confirms their ill informed opinion or attitude. As soon as the truth interferes with the ideal there is too much friction and the discussion usually ends. I work in higher education and am often asked about career paths. Once I share the reality of the rigors of coursework the strippers usually just turn off. Who wants to know the truth when the fantasy is so much easier. Of course fantasizing does come with the territory. I find most strippers to be what we call "magical thinkers". Very few grounded in reality.

I'm always surprised that strippers will seek customers' advice on subjects they should ask of other dancers. If it's a money question they're asking about, I always preface my remarks with, "I'm giving you a customer's opinion. You should really get advice from other dancers." (Maybe it's just that at the moment, they have my ear, but will actually discuss the issue with another dancer when the occasion arises.)

People, in this case strippers, like to have their own ideas confirmed and encouraged.

People, in this case customers, like to be asked for advice. It's flattering and suggests a special connection.

Many ladies are aware of the second.

Asked me an advice for:

(1) Ya think this hat will make me awesome?

(2) Ooooh look this bra will match with the panty I bought the other day, wadya think?

(3) There's a place we should check out, any comments about the place?

(4) This 8-inch shoe will make me taller, you think taller is better?

Don't say a word, let her finish the sentence and just stay there don't even blink.

She will figure it out and calmly move to the next conversation.

Shit testing like you are under the microscope, just don't even engage just one sec.

She'll pull out and throw a smile.

The toughest question I remember was from a dancer who told me she was in a custody dispute with her ex over her kid. She asked me if I thought showing the judge that she had a stable work record working as a dancer for the past two years would convince the judge. I wasn't sure about that one. As luck had it, I never saw her again. hopefully things went well for her. It's possible she usually worked during the day and I only visit at night. I've met some dancers who said they never saw me before and we've both been either working at or visiting the same club for years.

Never give bad advice. If that person thinks highly enough of you to ask, I respect them, as well. Life's too short to act like an idiot, so why do some people?

should I get (another) tattoo? = hell no!

Amen to that.

I think it's important to keep in mind that if she's asking your advice, there's a good chance that means she's profiled you as the older advisor type, and is tuning her hustle towards you. I know it works like a charm on me :)

That said, I always give the best advice I can. I'm just realistic about why a 20 year old girl would, for example, ask me -- a guy who I'm very sure she knows hates tattoos, just by one look at me -- whether she should get another tattoo.

o Customer research.

o Simulated relationship, a technique to increase the steadyness of the cash flow (from you to her).

o Mrs. Schwab said she'd cap their whore asses if they got anywhere near Charles's office.