What the hell to make of tonight? [long-ish]
I don't go to strip clubs a whole lot, so maybe this is stuff that happens normally and I don't know. I went to a club on Thursday night and enjoyed it so much, I went back tonight. (It's 2.5 miles from where I work, and I have t work on Saturdays. Ugh.) This one dancer there, who was going around for tips after she danced, asks me why I'm all alone. I say no one wanted to come with me.A few minutes later, she sits down next to me and starts talking to me. We talk for a little while then she has to go up and dance again. She goes around for tips and then sits down next to me again. So, at this point, I figure, "She's about to hit me up for a lap dance." I was right. She's all over me when she gets back, and after 5 or 6 minutes, asks if I want a dance. I say sure. We have it, and I figure I won't see her again because she got the dance she wanted from me.
No. A few minutes after the dance, she's right back next to me. I'm not giving her any money at this point and she sits there practically cuddling me while we watch the other girls dance. As an aside: The guy next to me was giving me dirty looks this whole time. No idea what his problem was.
Anyway, repeat the whole cycle again. She goes on stage, does her tip round, sits back down next to me. We talk for a few more minutes and she grabs my phone. I wonder what the hell she's doing. Turns out she was calling her cell phone with it. So now I have this girl's number. We start talking about stuff I would not expect a stripper to bring up. (Her grandmother dying a few years ago, for instance.)
She disappears for a bit, then comes back and we have another dance. (It's been about 3-3.5 hours at this point since she first sat down with me.) We hang out for a bit longer, I tell her I have to go and then give her $20 for hanging out with me all night. It's now past 12:30 and I got there around 8:30pm. I'd only intended to stay about an hour at first. Anyway, she tells me to text her as soon as she gets home so she knows I made it okay. I do that when I get home, and she reminds me to definitely text her tomorrow after I wake up, or even call her if I want.
This brings us up to right now. She's just trying to get money out of me, right? There's nothing else going on here... right? I'd be kinda psyched if there was, but I'm pretty sure she's just after more of my money. What do all you think?
TL;DR: Stripper at the club gets waaaaaay more friendly than I've ever had one get with me before. She's likely just trying to get me to come back and give her more money, I'm assuming?
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Most of us grow up believing we should give people the benefit of the doubt and to trust them unless they give us a reason not to. Well in stripper bizarro world; it is safer to do the opposite – don’t trust them or expect anything from them unless they prove o/w.
With most strippers; if you meet them OTC; you can usually expect 2 things:
1) she is an unreliable whack job
2) she is a ROB that only wants you as an ATM
Many strippers are as adept to the 2 items above as a professional jewel thieve is at stealing – and you may not even see it coming.
Seeing a stripper OTC should only be about business – you give her X amount for her do Y for Z time – and believe me – when it comes to dealing with strippers; for 99% of them it’s all business no matter what they say or how they act.
I would say proceed w/ caution if you really want to “see her†OTC and not want to just b/c she gave you her # (there is a difference w/ the latter not being worth it).
My opinions are not facts; but they seem to correlate to the experiences of many when dealing with strippers OTC.
BTW – if you are unfamiliar with the acronyms used on the board; refer to the Glossary link at the bottom of the TUSCL page.
And, really, we haven't even mentioned meeting outside. The only thing we talked about was me getting back to the club to see her again. (And since she usually works at the same time I'm at my job, that'd be difficult.) I wouldn't exactly be opposed to meeting her somewhere else, but I'm not going to be the one suggesting it.
For myself, I consider it all stripper-client games (it might be *favorite* client, but still client) unless she meets me outside the club, without charging me.
YES Sir!!! Don't fool yourself. Be careful & try to think with the upper brain.
Step back a minute and try to take the emotion out of it. Here's an example. I have a mechanic who works on my car. He's also an old friend. We drink together and go to each other's parties. But he also works on my car, and I wouldn't dream of asking him to fix my brakes for free. Dancers are kind of like this. They may genuinely like you and enjoy your company, they might even give you the occasional freebie, but you shouldn't assume they're going to give you any service for free.
Keep that in mind, and also take Slick's advice to heart. She's human too, treat her like a person, but be the captain of your ship, take control of the situation and chart the course.
"Can't make it to see me because you have work at the same time? Why don't we get together at my place, your place, hotel, etc?" Perhaps that will be fun and worthwhile if you're interested, time will tell.
She was sweet and I had a good times her but the friendship vs p4p vagueness muddied things.
No thanks. I'll keep my leverage and stick to the provider/client p4p relationship.
Not unless I have a friend named Barney. lol
Bottom line is that it's quite possible that dancers may like us as a friend -- everyone likes friendship after all. But very rarely will they have affectionate feelings to us. Any experienced dancers would avoid that from happening. And even if they do, I don't think it could even end well.
BTW, in the game she's running, some other common patterns: she asks you to meet OTC, which gets you even more excited about her, but when that day arrives, she texts you to tell you she got scheduled at the club and can't get out of it, so meet her there instead.
I would expect some friendly banter and then if A. "Hey it's slow tonight, want to come by the club?" B. A sob story and request for cash.
Couldn't keep it "real" heh? Too bad.
Something for all of us to remember - our opinions are not facts even when based on our [or others] experiences.
Also ask YOURSELF: [1] How lonely/needy am I for an emotionally/sexually intimate relationship right now?,
AND [2] Ideally, what do I want from this relationship?,
AND [3] Remember Ronald Reagan's dictum "Trust but verify"
Good luck
“strippers don’t do anything for freeâ€
This just sounds like a dancer trying to cultivate a regular.
I’ve heard more than one dancer say that they would not date (in the genuine sense) a guy that goes to SCs. I don’t think dancers view men that go to SCs very highly – I think many of them view the PLs as losers or pervs and very very rarely as genuine dating material.
As others have said – it comes down to $$$ - if she will want to hook up w/ you w/o $$$ being involved; if she doesn’t tell you academy award winning stories of woe to hit you up for $$$/â€loansâ€; and if she doesn’t call/text you out of the blue in a sexy voice telling you she wants to see you and to swing by the club; if she doesn’t do any of this – then she “may†genuinely like you – but IMO I doubt it.
If you are really interested in her – then just roll with it and either spend $$$ for services you want or test her intentions by not giving her *any* $$$.
She *might* like you. She *might* have just seen someone different enough that you interest her outside of the customer zone. Don't count on it.
I went back to see the girl yesterday. She was talking about how she had hardly any money and went auditioning at a club in Philly, but got there too late and missed the auditions. I was half expecting her to hit me up for some cash then, but she didn't.
Today, however, I'm texting with her. I mention I'm going back to the club tonight around 7pm to see this other girl I like. She texts back that she got an "emergency" shift tonight (yesterday she told me she wasn't working today) because she's moving soon and has to make a down payment tomorrow on her new place.
Then she tells me she lives in Trenton. For those who don't know New Jersey, Trenton is a hell hole. It's always been bad, but it's gotten a _lot_ worse in the past 5-6 years. It's not too much better than Detroit at this point. Does she really live in Trenton? I don't know. Her cell phone is the right area code for Trenton, so maybe.
So yeah, I'm thinking a hit up for money is coming tonight. I usually give her $20 for spending time with me (as she normally spends about two hours with me), so we'll see if she asks for something beyond that.
But yes, considering I got nothing but sob stories out of her yesterday, I feel like you're all correct and she's setting me up for a "loan."
In a perfect world yes – but I’ve come to find out my dick has very poor instincts and reasoning capabilities.
She doesn't take your money. Yes, she will allow you to buy her dinner, pay for drinks, etc. But, she will not hustle you. When strippers find a customer they are genuinely interested in, we get stressed out about making sure the guy knows we are for real. This can be tough because they've already met us as our fake, money grubbing, evil selves. So, we generally make a BIG effort to show that we are normal girls that can be trusted, when we like someone for real.
When I met the guy from the club that I dated, he came in a few times b4 we actually went out. When he came in, he did ask for dances. I was happy to do them, but refused to let him pay. And I sat with him for most of those nights, just chatting and refusing to be tipped. He'd always offer and I'd take his money and stick it right back in his pocket. Sounds crazy, I know. I made no money on those nights, at all. But I was able to send him the message that I was honest about wanting to get to know him.
Yes, there are crazy girls who don't know if they are coming or going that will give mixed signals. And there are girls who may hold some level of respect/attraction for you in the context of a business relationship (like the mechanic example above). But, if a girl really likes you, she will do whatever she can to prove to that she is interested in you as a human, not an ATM. She will not ask you for money. After you've started hooking up, she will continue to never ask you for $. The last thing she wants is for the guy she adores to think she's a whore.
Also, as states by everyone else, this almost never happens. 99.9999% of the time girls are just trying to catch a new customer with whatever silly tactics we can imagine.
I am so goddamn confused.
(Interestingly enough, I tried to tip a totally different girl $20 that same night for spending about 15 minutes with me, and she refused to accept it saying she hadn't done enough to earn it. That girl gave me her phone number right after she turned the tip down. What the fuck kind of alternate dimension bizarro strip club have I found?)