Truely strange experiences in a club.

QSM: He was wearing shorts with an elastic waistband and squirted out from the top of his shorts. He was happy during the songs leading up to the end and then he just rubbed himself for a few seconds. I've studied physiology and was surprised at how quickly he released. I guess that we know our own bodies better than anyone else and he knew how to find that sixth gear in record time.

Tropical H2O, how did he get all his stuff on you? I assume he managed to sneak his member out of his pants -- or was he just wearing really thin pants?

TH20. I would have called the person nuclear blast or nuclear explosion. There is no doubt a number of us led very sheltered lives. One odd story relates to an experience many years ago in Dallas. We stopped one time after a basketball game for a beer in the neighborhood where we played. The "bar" was really a strip club and one of my friends who was a church deacon was with us and started talking to the "waitress" who then had to go up on stage. He left very embarrassed. Next week he's working in the ER when the EMT's bring in this girl for passing out.(You could always tell the dancers in that it was 100 out and they'd have a blanket on.) Anyway she jumps off the cart with only a bikini bottom, gives him a big hug and goes" Dr. H its so good to see you again". The whole ER crew cracked up. The other experience involved the manager at my favorite club asking me to look at a boil on a dancer's ass to see what she should do about it. The words you never want to hear in a strip club. "Does this look infected to you?" Its not the way to begin the night.

It makes no difference to me whether anyone online is who they say they are. There's no way to prove or disprove it, so I just enjoy what anyone posts for its own sake.

Trop is for real. I am her friend and her experiences are true. She is a sweetheart so please treat her with respect.

Thanks, friend. I'll with you on Monday!

T-water, I was kidding, there's no need for confirmation. You're posts are fun to read but they make me feel like I've led a sheltered life. Come to think of it I have led a sheltered life, I've never done half the stuff the rest of you seem to have done.

Here's one. I kept turning down this one dancer for a dance every time I went to one club. She seemed to want to dance for me awfully bad. I mean she would often spend 15 minutes just standing in front of me each time I was there trying to talk me into a dance. She wasn't my type and I wasn't interested in her. I just kept telling her no, no, no thanks. She wasn't listening. Anyway one day she offered to dance for free. Then I surprised her by saying no. I think I surprised her but I'm not sure. Then she offered to have me go to her home at no cost to me of course. I said no. Apparently she finally got the message that I wasn't interested in her after refusing to go home with her but that seemed really weird to offer to take a guy home after he refuses to get free dances. I don't believe I have met that many determined dancers. Of course maybe this doesn't happen much because I'm not usually that stubborn.

About 30 seconds into LD, dancer said, "I don't like to dance on wet spots" (it wasn't really wet), gave me my money back, and ran over to talk with guy that just walked in club for minutes on end.

FONDL, I have no reason to lie. I have had fun, part of the thrill-seeking is probably "making up for lost time" as I was such a shy kid until I was about 20. I am still kind of shy and nerdy and love reading about medical advances, procedures and herbal remedies, but tend to balance the medical education with sexual expression. I hope that you don't doubt me - I can't do anything to convince you. I have a friend that knows me and reads my posts, but never contributes.

Hey friend, where are you to validate my interesting life? Remember though, to refer to me as TropicalH2O and not by my stage name. -T

This is a long time ago, in the bad old days of Good Guys, but it was strange and funny. I arrived and there was a huge party atmosphere one day. It seemed that a few of the girls, aided by some guys, were absolutely wasted. This group included two of the hottest dancers there, both of whom had strong bi-tendancies. Each time one of them got on stage the other was there tipping, grabbing, I think you get the picture. It peaked with an actual 69 onstage between the girls. The management broke it up real quick. Well the end of the shift came, and one of the girls' husband picked her up, apparently leaving her friend feeling a bit frustrated. The other still had to do a double, a turn onstage with one of the night shift dancers. The last drunk bi-girl was absolutely molesting the poor nightshift girl who had no idea where this all came from. I'd never seen a bouncer save one dancer from another.

Not sure how truly strange this is, but at my favorite club, they will pull girls from the crowd onstage and strip them naked. One of those times, it was a mother/daughter combo.

T-water, either you are totally shitting us or you have truly led an exciting life. Those stories are funny. But the last one gives "brown nose" a new meaning. Keep up the good work.

One of the ancers had a private birthday party (I wasn't invited). It was an e-party (ecstacy) with all of the right people, the right food and drinks. They had blow up furniture, kind of shiny, see-through neon plastic furniture. The party went on all night and into the next day. The hostess and her best friend (at the time) started fooling around together and swapped partners.

I was working with both of them a few days later when the hostess of the party got in the other girls' face and started screaming about her going all the way with the other girl's man. I guess that there were supposed to stop at a certain point and one of the girls crossed the line. They had this blow-out argument in front of me and one left the shift early. It was really uncomfortable to be near this conversation, but boy did I get an earful of information that wasn't mine to hear.

Another well-known dancer had a contest out of town and had her significant other paint her up with this permanent tanning dye. He got excited looking at her all painted up and he went down on her. The next day and for almost a week later the tip of nose was brown from the dye.-T

I've shared most of mine already. Except this one: I was at a dive with a pool table in East St. Louis one day where a customer was using his penis as a pool cue. [insert joke here]

The first time I tried dancing was at a club in Dallas, TX. I was too young, shy and immature to succeed but I wanted to audition. I went into this club and a dancer loaned me a leopard g-string. It was a size extra-small and I'm a medium; another dancer loaned me a $5 bill to cover my pubic hair that was showing up and over the 'too tiny g-string'. So off I went onto the stage and removed my dress. It was exhilarating! The second time I came in, I bought a couple of g-strings and did the 3 stage rotation. When I was back in the dressing room someone yelled, "Where are your pasties? Are you trying to get us closed down?" Someone gave me shiny paper stickers to apply over my nipples. I worked a second shift and was dancing on a smaller stage when I felt incredible pain in my left cheek. Some guy just bit my ass. I turned around quickly in pain and he said, "It looked so good, I just had to bite it!" This was my last Texas shift.

Two amusing experiences that I recall. A long time ago I stumbled by accident into a small club in Atlanta that was having an amatuer contest. Two girls walked up from the bar where they had been drinking with friends, got up on stage, and undressed completely. Then they went back to the bar to their friends and for the rest of the evening never bothered to put any clothes back on.

Another time in Archibalds in DC (I'm sure AN knows the place) a dancer who was sitting at the bar passed out and landed on the floor (their bar stools are pretty tall.) Two other dancers carried her off into the dressing room. She was out cold. She'd been having a good time up to that point, but I'd guess that more than alcohol was involved.

Oh I just remembered another one. Years ago there was a very nice cocktail lounge in DC, it wasn't exactly a strip joint but the waitresses and barmaids all wore skimpy see-though shortie nighties. One night a group of Japanese businessmen came in and tried to hire several of the girls. It created quite a ruckess, they thought the place was a whore house. Everyone in the place was laughing at them by the time they left, empty handed I might add. Guess they didn't understand our customs.

My truly strange experience in clubs is that women like me (or at least act like they like me). That never happens OTC.

Okay, AN, but this thread is supposed to be truely strange experiences and the baby oil, sex stories are common run- of-the-mill sexcapades!

There was a dancer I knew from ballet school. We worked at a topless club together and started spending time together. One night she spent the night at my house and she pleasured me. The second time she spent the night at my place; there were nude girl-on-girl pages from Penthouse or Hustler on my windshield. Apparently her boyfriend knew where I lived and was probably listening jealously at my front door or under my windowsill and later placed the magazine pics to let us know that he knew.

A few years later she seduced me twice in a day; once in the afternoon and then a second time at night to get me to work at another club with her. After the first time she called me at home to ask me when I was going to come in and audition and I said I wasn't sure.

She came right over to change my mind and it worked. It was a one-way street though. I wanted to return the favor but she only liked to get me off.

Hey T, let's hear some fun ones rather than diareah, infected ejaculate and equine genitalia (not depressing in itself, just in comparison).

How about the one where you and a dozen dancers go home for a lingere slumber party, start pillow fights and get so hot and sticky you all jump into the shower to clean up. Then the baby oil comes out...

But it did glow under a black light.

I worked at a club in another state (like a season from The Twilight Zone), a miserable "hole in the wall place" where we were required to work for 10 hours and were lucky to go home with $200 dollars. The owner made us wear nylons and half a leotard bottom so that our belly buttons were covered. The couch dancers were topless, but there was absolutely no touching allowed. We were allowed to drink real drinks and play the video poker machines. Some girls got "sh-t-faced" drunk and ended up leaving the club owing the owner money because they took an advance to play video poker.

Story #1 A young customer gave me $10 for a dance and I walked him back to the couch area. He was wearing shorts, and as I shifted my weight to straddle him he pulled up his shorts and the longest cock I've ever scene was flacidly hanging there, I almost lost my balance and I don't know where these words came from because I didn't think about it, "Put your cock away and I'll dance for you." is what I said. I danced the song for him and at the end of the song he gave me another $10 and told me that he liked the way I told him to put his cock away.

#2 (and I do mean number two) There was a miserable hag of woman named, "Mona". She was Asian, and looked good for her 40 to 50 plus years. She never smiled and looked completely miserable all the time. Sometimes guys would try to joke with her or give her extra money to improve her mood - nothing worked to improve her attitude, not even for a brief moment, EVER.

I was dancing for a guy and did 2 or 3 songs, when he excused himself away to use the bathroom, admitting that he was having intestinal problems. He sat and watched a few girls on stage then left the club.

Mona sat on the chair the guy was sitting on and apparently sat in something and started muttering loudly to herself then smelled her hand. Apparently this guy had had diarrhea and she had sat in human excrement and got it on her stockings and leotard. When she tried to identify the substance she got it on her hand then inhaled it deeply into her nostrils. She was fit to be tied, screaming and swearing, and completely hysterical. She left the club immediately but returned the next day. I'm not a mean person, but this scene actually brought me quite a bit of pleasure because she was so unpleasant to work with. Even writing about it now makes me laugh!

#3 Another dancer, beautiful, large, and sensuous like a younger version of Della Burke used to ease the night away with at least 5 or 6 Southern Comfort's on the rocks. At the end of onenight she was quiet hammered and ended up with this guy on the couch. I had talked with the guy earlier and he had scabs on his face, not acne scabs but probably impetigo (in the daylight it probably looked like Syphillis chancres). Well, this sweet, natural large breasted, intoxicated woman turned her back on this man and while the rest of us were getting dressed and ready to go home she comes screaming back to the dressing room. Apparently, while she turned her back on him he jerked off and ejaculated on her back. Poor dancer, I hope that his ejaculate didn't have scab seeds in it.

God, what an awful club that was to work in - the worst!

If it was Nuclear Custard hopefully it didn't glow in the dark!

TH2O, Mine doesn't quite compare, or even qualify as truely strange, but I'll contribute what I can.

I had a favorite at my local club a few years back, and we really clicked personalitywise. We used to have a great time talking and laughing, I took good care of her, great situation overall. Once we got on the topic of stupid guy tricks in stripclubs. One of her pet peeves was guys who blew on her box. This was a no contact club so the shows got faily pink and up close. It was inevitable I guess but her beef was "exactly what do these guys think it's going to accomplish?" I joked they thought it'd make her want to take them home, after all if they can get her so turned on with just their breath, I mean come on. We laughed about it. One night when I was in my cups I decided to be a jerk so as I tipped her I blew on her box. She whipped around and shot me a look as if to say "I can't believe YOU of all people did that." I just mouthed the words "you want me" doing my best lounge lizzard immitation. She had a laugh, gave me a wet willy the next time she sat down and I didn't think any more of it.

About a month later when I was waiting in line to tip her the guy in front of me blew on her box. She turned around and in a voice loud enough so that everyone at her stage could hear started in on the poor guy, her voice dripping condecencion "Oh yeah baby, blowin' on my box makes me Soooo hot. You must really know how to treat the ladies. I wanna party with you... can I have your number?" As the guy slinks away to the laughter of all (she had great comedic talent) he looks over his shoulder, and she crooks her hand to her ear in the universal phone gesture and mouths "call me". The whole stageside erupted in laughter. I felt a little sorry for the poor sucker, but it was absolutely hillarious.