Your Personality and Your 'Success' In SCs

Personality certainly plays a big role in our lives, for work or play. In strip clubs, I often get a lot of dancers' attention. They'll come and sit with me (often on me), stay and chat for a while, and a lot of that is even after I've declined them for dances, or even buying them a drink. My success isn't because of my good looks. I'm always pleasant, cordial, dressed neatly, and have well-rehearsed strip club jokes handy.

I would think it has to help a little bit. At my favorite club, a large number of dancers tell me what a mellow guy I am. I would think it's SS, but it's something that only seems to happen there, at least on a large scale. Then again, I think they draw a disproportionate number of a-holes to the club there for some reason. It does happen at other clubs where they say what a mellow guy I am and it has happened at clubs where I am not a regular, so I think they do notice. I would think they'd have to notice after putting up with their boyfriends after a while.

Art, first off, let me compliment you. We only met the one time, but I was at ease talking with you. You are knowlegable, talented, and have a gift of gab. We all develop that and it makes us successful. SS is what it is, but I don't doubt the women appreciate a knowlegable talented man over some of the assholes they run into at the clubs.

My entire strip clubbing career, I have always been labeled as a "nice guy".

I hate that because it does seem true that "nice guys finish last".

I've always treated the women respectfully and never tried to push the envelope. They have always complimented me on that. They like my nice guy attitude so that's led to various. OTC meetings - but only for dinner, movies, shopping....not our definition of OTC.

Sometimes I wish I had a little more of that aggressive, bad boy attitude.

"I did no private dances...I just spent the evening drinking and jollying along the investors I was courting"

I suspect you were quite "pleasant", precisely because this was a business function and not one of your monomaniacal mongering visits. Besides, everyone loves the guy buying drinks.

"Now, I'm a jet fuel genius I can solve the world's problems
Without even trying
I got dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying"

Without doubt, it makes a difference. One thing you have to remember, though, look at the type of guys that many dancers have as their SO. The "nice guy" is a change of pace for them. I am one that falls into the "nice guy" classification, and like it that way.

Seriously, you've just got to look at this board's characters. There are some genuine nice guys on this board (although it's not the guys who trumpet that they are so loudly - those guys are actually the real cunts), and then there are the ultra weird and creepy whack jobs like Payer11. I don't see any evidence that personality makes any difference, other than, yes, you do have to make it clear to them that is what you expect else they are willing to give you less for the same price or more.

If your personality made a difference and that was the reason then she would fuck you for free. Yep that does happen from time to time, but it's the only way to judge.

I think you can be successful in SC's with almost any kind of personality except total jerk. Dancers are talking to men constantly and encountering every sort of personality from aggressive to shy. For dancers to be successul, they have to learn how to deal with all personalities.

"I think you can be successful in SC's with almost any kind of personality except total jerk."

Hmm, then how do you explain Dougster?

Prices go down the more the strippers genuinely like you

"Hmm, then how do you explain Dougster?"

You don't seriously think he's as big an asshole in real life as he is here, do you? In the real world, there are *consequences* for such...deliberate baiting, even if one *is* simply stating the truth in many cases.

Personality and demeanor might have some, or even much, bearing, but I'm not convinced it's the *deciding* factor in my success in clubs, despite what everyone thinks. I've seen too many jerks get almost the same treatment I do. Up to a certain point, I'm pretty sure money has more to do with it than personality.

@steve229,

"........not one of your monomaniacal mongering visits." ?????

Whatever did I post here that might have given you that impression of my usual SC behaviour?

Sheesh.........!

You learn what works with you with repetition and experience. When I was 'on the road' it had become easy to talk ss and my success level was high. Whatever I considered success that visit. I am now in the office out of direct customer contact and sc visits down to every 2-3 months. I find it is much more difficult to converse in ss and I quickly get bored with it. Maybe I have just matured and no longer need the artificial bs associated with a sc??? Maybe I'm just getting old and lazy?

Well, with Dougster, bear in mind, he suffered from Oxygen deprivation too long. From what the latest doctor report states, he has 2 functioning brain cells. :)

Now let's see what pithy comment, pathetic Dougster comes up with. LMAO

Anyone can say I'm stupid vince, but every time they try and show me something stupid I said, turns out it's true, and they are the ones who are stupid, and not only stupid but too stupid too realize how stupid they are. And, yes, this applies to you! LMFAO!

Not at all, Dougster. Only to your pathetic self.

"Do you guys think our personalities have any bearing, at all, on our success or lack of success in SCs?"

Absolutely I do. Dancers are human beings, not robots. Now that is not to say that they will burn all night with a "nice" guy or will refuse money from an asshole, but the way in which you interact with them will most definitely impact your overall experience and as well as what boundaries they are willing to cross.

I would describe my approach as calm and kind. In my humble opinion, calmness is the most important component as anything over the top can be offputting, including aggressiveness, nervousness and neediness. Even excess kindness can be problematic as it may make her think: (1) of you as a mark; and/or (2) that you are the needy/emotional/lonely type inclined to "fall in love."

Now sprinkle in a warm smile, relaxed body language, direct eye contact and some conversation skills and voila, you have a guy who she can be comfortable with. Finally, sprinkle in a bit of calm firmness when it comes time to negotiate matters and/or decline something that you do not want and you have all the makings of good interactions.

I routinely engage in OTC with girls in various parts of the country. I am convinced that part of the reason for this is that the girls know that I'm not going to: (1) assault or kill them; (2) try to rip them off; or (3) fall in love just because I got my dick wet. And most of my OTC girls are sourced in same night club to hotel conversions.

Yes, I think it's all about the money. Not too long ago a stripper and guy passed by towards the LD room and I heard a waitress say, "Uh Oh. She's in for a bath." I said, "Excuse me." The waitress said, "That guy likes to slobber all over the girls, but money is money."

"You don't seriously think he's as big an asshole in real life as he is here, do you? In the real world, there are *consequences* for such...deliberate baiting, even if one *is* simply stating the truth in many cases"

I think so. I'm not aware of any evidence to the contrary. :)

There are plenty of Assholes in the real world who continue to be Assholes 24/7.


"Do you guys think our personalities have any bearing, at all, on our success or lack of success in SCs?

Absolutely I do. Dancers are human beings, not robots"

I agree! Dancers are indeed human beings, & I treat them that way.

I'm so fuckin funny with the girls at the clubs they can't staay awawy.....hell it could be a night I'm spending no money and I have a handful of ladies and skanks that will still fuck with me and my juice !

Depends on your definition of 'success'. For me, success is being an anonymous dude, drinking some beer, laughing, hanging out, getting some dances, laughing at the sleazebags or sandals with socks dudes...just enjoying myself. I think the fact that I'm having fun, making the girls laugh, being respectful, etc. makes me 'successful' - even on busy nights girls come sit with me as a safe landing place, which I enjoy, and I make it clear I'm not paying for their time to sit. We just have fun for awhile and then they resume the hustle. Never gotten my dick sucked in the back, but I that sounds disgusting to me anyway. My 'success' might be seen as a total failure by another.

Dear Penthouse Forum,
"I'm so fuckin funny with the girls at the clubs they can't staay awawy.....hell it could be a night I'm spending no money and I have a handful of ladies and skanks that will still fuck with me and my juice !"

"Never gotten my dick sucked in the back, but I that sounds disgusting to me anyway"

Interesting.

“My entire strip clubbing career, I have always been labeled as a "nice guy".“

“I hate that because it does seem true that "nice guys finish last".”

MH – I’ve suffered from the same affliction. In life in general, nice guys “do” often finish last. In the SC in particular, a “nice guy” will often equate to a sucker to be taken advantage off and be bled for everything he has.

Being a nice guy is often akin to being the wounded animal in the herd and thus an easier target/prey.

“Sometimes I wish I had a little more of that aggressive, bad boy attitude.”

I’ve heard of a saying that states something along the lines that “the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference”.

I found that being a nice guy in the SC does not really get me much and sometimes is detrimental in terms of certain dancers trying to take advantage of it. This does not mean that I try to be an a-hole in order not to be a “nice guy”; but I try to be/act “indifferent” and that seems to work better for me and actually seems to keep certain dancers in check.

Personality has some effect, but not as much effect as how much you spend.

Here's what I have learned about attitudes in picking up other people's interest, whether hot-looking women or not, and whether or not those hot looking women are strippers or not. I have learned it enough to think that maybe I'm kind of onto something a bit. I don't claim to know a great deal, or that this statement is right 100% of the time. And it's necessary to calibrate it so that it fits in with each different context. In fact, I'll say two or three things, that have to be understood "as a whole." Please take these statements in the spirit they're intended, and don't nit-pick them. They're actually quite difficult to express clearly. Just figure out how they MIGHT be true, and then rephrase them in your own head into what you might prefer.

1. Social context is everything. You have to be able to "read" what's going on around you, notice it, work within it, yes somehow (and ever so subtly) step outside of it in order to work it to your advantage. We're all of us doing this all of the time, but some of us become overt masters at it through careful study, while others are just middle-of-the-pack performers, and others are total naturals in the first place, and a few unfortunate others really don't even get to the level of competence. It's no big secret. Everyone does it to some extent. The difficult part is managing to THINK about it and GET BETTER at it.

2. People like decisiveness, aggression; in proper balance with cooperativeness, submission. Women in general, and hot women in particular, and especially women who are living the stripper lifestyle, have predilections that tend toward their own submission and the males' aggression, at least in terms of "real world" relationships. If you want to get in good with attractive women, you have to tend more toward the "male" or "dominant" or "aggressive" side of the spectrum, maybe more than is "natural" for you. But, it's not easy to micro-manage your own natural behaviors such that you end up working them to your benefit, in subtle fields such as this. See proposition #1, above.

3. And take Prozac or another long-term (prescribed? doctor-supervised?) mood-enhancer. Or just have a good life going on, in the first place. I notice a huge difference not only in what makes for an enjoyable day for me, but also in what other people seem to think of me. They respond to me better, simply because I'm responding to the world better. It's a long slow development, not something that one pill on a Friday night will fix. Rather, it requires a whole lifestyle-change, and you won't see the benefits immediately, and some benefits will wax and wane over the long term as well. But if you're finding that your life is full of frustration, you're pissed off at abstract things ("people these days!" "the damn government is taking away everyone's rights!" "can you believe what that asshole did with the Chinese team USA uniforms!"), then it's not because the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Rather, it's because you're determined to figure out how to interpret the world in such a way that it seems to YOU that it's going to hell in a handbasket. Recalibrate your interpretive strategies, as a life project. On the whole, other humans WILL notice, subtly; and WILL reciprocate, slowly.

It's not a panacea. But it's a start. I'm not very good at it. But I'd much rather be working on this project than on one of the other possible ones out there for me to work on.

Actually, vince, what is pathetic is how long you have held a grudge just because I said you were gay a couple of times. Don't worry - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that alternative lifestyle choice of yours. In fact you should be proud of yourself. Go in one of those parades or bike rides or something.

Many thoughtful responses here. To get to the roots of what I was trying to express is an impossibility. This is interaction between human beings, after all, and we are all different. Not every business deal I try to negotiate will work out in my favour and it has been proven many times that not every SC visit of my hobbying has resulted in the 'success' that I so eagerly seek.

indyslick makes a very valid point regarding levels of expectation of 'success' in SC visits.

And windowsidiot's pithy observation.......'Maybe I'm just getting old and lazy?'.....

I like that one!

Who is this Dougster fool? I've just joined, but I've seen this idiot ranting and raving throughout the discussions. Sounds to me like this guy is the homosexual constantly and repeatedly being a jackass. Come to mama, Dougie baby boy. I've got a huge dick for you to suck. We all know you like to suck dick.

Book_Guy,

I found your comments about hot women, and especially strippers, being drawn to guys with aggressive personality traits quite interesting. I think we have all observed this in their real world lives. . I don't want to hijack this thread - so you should explore this more on WHY this is.

"Who is this Dougster fool? I've just joined, but I've seen this idiot ranting and raving throughout the discussions. Sounds to me like this guy is the homosexual constantly and repeatedly being a jackass. Come to mama, Dougie baby boy. I've got a huge dick for you to suck. We all know you like to suck dick."

This should be interesting.

You do sound like a big, gay stud Sebastian. There's this guy on this board, goes by the name of mikeya02, might be just your type. You should give him a ring sometime.

Dougster, the village idiot. LMAO. Have fun sucking dick, baby boy. LMAO

Dougster, are you still cowering away from Stiletto? Why don't you man up and meet her?

Vince, I heard that Dougster suffers from cranial rectal asphyxiation, which explains his oxygen depravation.

C,mon guys, Dougie is busy trying to get his dick sucked by a guy, he's only mentioned it a zillion times.

LMfao !

Give me some love !

I'll restrain myself, ma friend, juice. LOL

Put it down like this....Got to go out and bottle the "Juice" personality....NO DOUBT the reason Dancers are at the club in the first place is to meet guys like Juice....luv ya man...

What if all the personalities on this board hit the same club on one hot summer night....it would be epic, perhaps epic fail, but epic nonetheless....Is there a club big enough???....lol

^^^^^^^

rickdugan and juicebox69 working the same club at the same time??

You could charge a $20 cover just to enjoy that spectacle!

I'm up for a convention !!

Not sure what tittyfan is talking about I have met stiletto. Many times actually.

Speaking of having two brain cells. I wonder someone who shorted treasuries three years ago, the day before they bottomed, as txtittyfan advised, would have done.