Strippers and their loser customers!

staxwell
Seriously, wtf is it with these loser customers? We(stripper bf's) haven't done anything to you, so why all the hostility? Is it because you wanna date my girl? Too F'ing bad, get your own girl! Meeting her at a hotel and banging for a buck-fifty isn't enough for you? Greedy bastards!

Yeah, I sell a little weed(in between classes at the local community college) but who am I hurting? And MMA fucking RULES! The fastest growing sport EVER! My board shorts and Tapout gear are comfy as fuck, and my tats are art, neo-expressionism at it's finest!

Your wondering why she's with me? It aint rocket science: I can fuck! I give an out of this world rogering every night! And after she returns from the hotel, smelling like talcum powder, rogaine, just for men, drakkr noir, and old man balls, I finish the job you couldn't. And we're not crackheads. And so what if I cheat a little, you fucking hypocrites! She fucks a customer for cash, I fuck another girl for free, does that make me the bad guy? And half you guys are married, but you fuck her then go home to your wives like nothing happened, and have the nerve to shake your heads in disgust when she tells you stories about me cheating.

You're no better than I am. So don't despise me! Learn to love me. Because me and my girl are a package deal. On another note, thanks for the support; with your tax dollars and your tips!

I am the man. I am the alpha. I am the once upon a time captain of the wrestling team. I am...the STRIPPERS BOYFRIEND!

63 comments

Latest

Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
I was just thinking this same shit! It's funny to see guys who cheat on their wives and lure strippers into prostitution with some cold hard cash calling the boyfriends losers. LOL
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
Oh wait... This is a farse. staxwell, you bastard!

also: I don't sell weed, I just toke it.
Clubber
13 years ago
Dick Johnson comes to mind.


On another note, Respect My Authoritah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIVHNylH1…
samsung1
13 years ago
LOL
rell
13 years ago
lmaooo
i was once a strippers bf too..but see im not of the douche bag variety.. even though i was the captian of the football team in high school lol
jackslash
13 years ago
LMFAO
HonestT
13 years ago
People like to hate, what else can you say?

But like on sports radio, opposing fans like to run all of the opinions of one team together, then try to call that team's fans hypocrites because they want different things. There are lots of opinions out there, we don't all share the same ones.
runrdude
13 years ago
We've been called PL's for some time now, a badge I wear with pride!
Ironcat
13 years ago
Actually we are basing your loser status on what your girlfriends tell us.
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
Well you all make my tan and gym payments, so what do I care...
Rlionheart
13 years ago
OMG - So many places to start. Let' see
1) Selling weed? Probably storing the supply at home? GF now at risk. Great plan.
2) So the reason she's with you is cause you can Fuck? Wow there's a talent few men have. Some of us old guys have acquired style and technique that might make your approach look a little lacking but then again, chest beating is a recognized talent in the gorilla crowd. But here's a valuable tip bozo - making love to a woman is more than a boinky boinky encounter - done properly it suffuses all your activities and behaviors with her. I will bet you that your gf is looking for something more than a a humanized vibrator - go ahead and ask her why she's with you. Bet it's for reasons you haven't considered.
3) Are we hypocrites - Guity as charged. But what is your point? You go on about the nobility of your giving it away to others than just your gf as opposed to paying for it. Pause for a moment and smell what you have been shovelling. Come on man, surely you can do better than that.

So, no I don't hate you, I doubt I could love you ( but maybe your gf) but to many of us here you may have been the wrestling captain (btw, impressive!)(Seriously)but you are also the beta, you are the boy and just for the record, My motives for being there and paying for it are explicit. Yours, I am afraid are not. If you are serious about the girl, I'd sit down and ask her what she really wants. I doubt it is just "X" inches of Big Ed.
kuteechaser
13 years ago
There should be a term PLB ( poor loser boyfriend ), because once the stripper tires of him and kicks him out to the curb, he is basically a homeless person.
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Pretty good.
farmerart
13 years ago
I want to hire this guy. Can always use a superman on an oil rig. Ever had a job, staxwell?
staxwell
13 years ago
Doc, you know what I'm talking about bro!

Rlion: 1) Nickle and diming is low risk biz, bro.
2)Her words "Nobodies ever stuffed me like this before. NOBODY." "I'm gonna save enough to get us away from this crazy place!" "When are we getting married captain?"...That's right, she loves me, BOOM!
3) One of the reasons you guys call us scumbags is cause we cheat. Like what you guys(maybe not you) do isn't. Just saying broski. I paused, but I didn't smell anything.
And beta, I am not sir.

kutee, she wants me forever(her words) and unlike what she's feeding to you guys...it's not stripper shit! Besides, my mom would never let me go homless.

farmerart, Canada is to cold for me and my bro's, but if you got something here in the states I'd work for a couple months. And yes, I've had many jobs...MANY BLOWJOBS!!! BOOM!!!
bang69
13 years ago
Dude I've worked in a few sc's in Atlanta & have many of stripper bf. Ask your self this one question do you realy trust her? If so have fun
yndy
13 years ago
staxwell: I really enjoyed your post. Thanx!
shadowcat
13 years ago
If your are not Dick Johnson, then your are delusional. Get help.
staxwell
13 years ago
bang69, my great grandad told me to never trust a hoe...Yeah I trust her.

yndy, Thanks for reading bro!

Shadow & clubber, I don't know who this Dick johnson is, but he has a great name! And shadow despite that comment, I still think you're a legend in th SC game, true future HOF'er!
dudeanonymous
13 years ago
Nothing the OP said has altered my previous views on the majority of stripper boyfriends. Quite the contrary. A life backup plan of "mom" really says it all.

But I still think we are being had.
gatorfan
13 years ago
I think losers get a bad rap
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
Stax, Dude, I make custom Affliction shirts. U want some??
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
Also you cheap fucks need to buy more VIP or some of us might lose our bike!!
Rlionheart
13 years ago
Stax
1 Think about the line in #1
2 I've heard the nickel and dimeing bit before (last time was my brother-in-law who I was bailing out of jail for running a nickel dime deal) - (Seriously)
3 I never called you a scumbag for cheating. I agree with you that morally there is little difference between what we married guys do at clubs and what you do. The only thing that I think is different is that it is very clear what I am there for and it dovetails well with the reason the business exists. As my picture of Tyrone F. Horneigh might say: Do you believe in the Here-after? Then you know what I am here after.
Is it as clear for you?
vincemichaels
13 years ago
I have to laugh at this brainless asshole. Go fuck your stupid self, staxwell.
staxwell
13 years ago
Well...

Doc, I'll take 365 of your finest affliction shirts.

Rlion, you're right. I've learned something today.

Vince, ouch. Just ouch.
Alucard
13 years ago
"Seriously, wtf is it with these loser customers? We(stripper bf's) haven't done anything to you, so why all the hostility? Is it because you wanna date my girl? Too F'ing bad, get your own girl! Meeting her at a hotel and banging for a buck-fifty isn't enough for you? Greedy bastards!

Yeah, I sell a little weed(in between classes at the local community college) but who am I hurting? And MMA fucking RULES! The fastest growing sport EVER! My board shorts and Tapout gear are comfy as fuck, and my tats are art, neo-expressionism at it's finest!

Your wondering why she's with me? It aint rocket science: I can fuck! I give an out of this world rogering every night! And after she returns from the hotel, smelling like talcum powder, rogaine, just for men, drakkr noir, and old man balls, I finish the job you couldn't. And we're not crackheads. And so what if I cheat a little, you fucking hypocrites! She fucks a customer for cash, I fuck another girl for free, does that make me the bad guy? And half you guys are married, but you fuck her then go home to your wives like nothing happened, and have the nerve to shake your heads in disgust when she tells you stories about me cheating.

You're no better than I am. So don't despise me! Learn to love me. Because me and my girl are a package deal. On another note, thanks for the support; with your tax dollars and your tips!

I am the man. I am the alpha. I am the once upon a time captain of the wrestling team. I am...the STRIPPERS BOYFRIEND!"

Unbelievable. LMFAO

"Her words "Nobodies ever stuffed me like this before. NOBODY." "

LMFAO even HARDER!!! If that quote from her his your claim to her, then wake up guy! There is always some male out the there with a longer, thicker & just plain BIGGER cock than yours! Better hope she doesn't find it.

motorhead
13 years ago
Check back in ten years and tell us how your marriage is. Your going to have fun always wondering if "Junior" is yours.

And what happens when she gets too old to dance. I've see many like you. What happens when she can't dance anymore and she ends up in a rental house with no heat and electric. True story. When she has to choose between your big dick and a guy who can pay the utilities, who do you think she will choose then.
Dougster
13 years ago
Fuckin' hilarious! Good one, stax!
Alucard
13 years ago
"When she has to choose between your big dick and a guy who can pay the utilities, who do you think she will choose then."

If she is about keeping a roof over her head & food in her tummy (NOT Cum) then she may just pick a reasonably decent guy who will KEEP her with a roof over her head & food in her tummy, rather than your cock.
pabloantonio
13 years ago
I've never seen Stax like this. Are you for real or is this all bullshit?

Oh by the way Stax, love is not all about drugs and fucking, big dick or not. The real losers are strippers (like some of my former girlfriends) who trade their lives and happiness away for sex, drugs, and alcohol and end up with nothing.

But it was a hilarious article dude.
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
You guys are taking this *seriously*? the credulity factor here is pretty low, even for TUSCL.
Alucard
13 years ago
I wasn't aware he was talking about REAL Love. It seems this conversation is about how well he thinks he can FUCK the Dancer he is with using his "SUPPOSED" big cock! LOL
rell
13 years ago
lol funny thing is .. ok so you think your the man
you fuck other dumb chicks for free.. and she fucks anything that has money in her wallat that makes you the man??....right
shes really saving up enough money so she can stop stripping and leave your broke ass..your only as good and your weed connect..she fucks me for money.. she fucks you for weed .. of course she tells you it was great.. she told me the same thing after i jizzed her in mouth and gave her some money ..
soon as she smart enough to find out who your supplier is shell fuck him too and youll be out of a job lol.. good luck on your future endeavors
staxwell
13 years ago
So people, I hope this thing was at least a little entertaing to some. I got bored seeing the same shit posted every week about "does this stripper like me?" or "how do I get otc?". So I figured I'd throw this up for kicks(and to play off the weekly loser bf posts). It's kinda funny (yet kinda sad) how serious some of you took it.

For the record, I don't sell weed. I was a bartender up until a couple months ago when the spot I was working at closed down. Now I'm soley focused on finishing school. And I was captain of the wrestling team, in case anyone was wondering.

So there. If you enjoyed the post cool, if not FUCK OFF! :)
TABB
13 years ago
Hahaha stack, you sound like most of guys in Scottsdale Arizona. Especially talking about training MMA, having a Hummer/ gay looking ride and having generic tattoos. Granted I do have tattoos but the only generic tattoo I have is nautical stars. Good post sir good post!!!
mrsunglasses
13 years ago
LOL....too well written to be real. Thanks for the laugh though.
Doc_Holliday
13 years ago
I unfortunately was half-joking. I'm regularly seeing a dancer. I have a job and a place of my own. The only thing she pays for is occasional dates and a pearl snap shirt (for which I paid back in pearl necklaces ohhhhh!) It's not serious, so I don't think about what she does with her customers, but that could change later. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
lopaw
13 years ago
LMFAO!
That was some funny shit!
Very entertaining.
shadowcat
13 years ago
Thank you Dick Johnson!
staxwell
13 years ago
Doc, there was a small bit of my reality in the post too. I did a dancer once, and I was so eager to get with her I didn't think about what I was getting into. But, you live and you learn. Oh and it's funny you mentioned pearl necklaces, my girl used to stay covered in pearls! Christmas, V-day, birthdays, she loved getting pearls...I think THOSE are truely a girls bestfriend.

TABB, Judas, lopaw: Glad you enjoyed.
staxwell
13 years ago
Lol! Really shadow, I'm not Dick Johnson.
JGoose
13 years ago
I thought it was hilarious! Thanks for the great post Staxwell!
steve229
13 years ago
@staxwell,

Well done. So funny it hurt. And yes, the ironic or tongue-in-cheek post is often taken quite seriously by the more literally minded here. The aforementioned "Dick Johnson" was the past master of those, perhaps you can assume his mantle?
Clubber
13 years ago
steve,

I don't think DJ is gone, but rather using different nicks. However, I really wouldn't expect an admission of this.
motorhead
13 years ago
Bazinga! Ok, you got me. Job well done. Your only mistake was admitting your ruse.

You should have just let us PL's continue with our jealousy!
vincemichaels
13 years ago
Earth to Dick Johnson!! Earth to Dick Johnson???
Clackport
13 years ago
That's some funny shit.
Rlionheart
13 years ago
OK - so I am reminded that I am a doofus. But I do have a question. What do you guys think about the dancer's bf hanging out at the club?
Clubber
13 years ago
I don't waste my time thinking about the bf.
Player11
13 years ago
Staxwell as an experienced StripClubber I LMAO at cuckholds like you. Your the loser she is supporting but for how long?

You can't even hold a job while I can bang your girl at will - just takes a couple of bens. She is a whore thru and thru and we have been in her every which way. Does she come home stretched out? Notice that pussy getting any looser LOL?

I have been doing this stripper 3 years and she met me otc the day she got married aboout 1.5 yr ago and the day she got back from her honeymoon. My contributions pay her mortgage. She describes her husband as her soulmate on her FB page yet I know how fukin hilarious that is. She had not been faithful to him a week since I have been bangin her 2-3 times week. I have tons of photos I have taken of her having done her otc and itc. She is my mistress I have been doing longer than any of her three marriages have lasted.

I have done about 30 strippers the last several years and they all had a BF, baby dodo, fiancee, husband, etc. But you know what it did not plug any holes and I have been in them at will fuking heck out of them. We were there fuking her before you were on the scene and we will be there fuking her after she's dumped you. We are the A-Z of your girls life of whoring. Some of us even invite friends over for a threesome as she is excited and thrilled to get on with two guys at once. Our superbowl party isn't just about watching the game.

mmdv26
13 years ago
That's it! I'm quittin' my job on Monday, fry my brain on Tuesday, learn how to sell weed on Wednesday, grow a big(er) dick on Thursday and re-emerge as a stripper's deadbeat bf by the end of next week.
Dougster
13 years ago
@payer11: You are only telling part of the story here. Don't hold back! Remind everyone of "your different dicks" and "better genes" theories.
Clubber
13 years ago
mmdv,

I have a beat up POS car I'll give you if you tow it away! :) Will really help with your new persona.
staxwell
13 years ago
Rlion, as long as her bf being there doesn't get in the way of my good time it's not a problem. If he can't handle seeing his girl "entertain" another guy and is gonna lose his cool at some point, he should stay away.

Payer, I mean Player11... I was trying to sound like a dick in my post but you just took the cake with that one. And I've seen some of the girls you've had at will...BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING BARREL! lol

mmdv26, sounds like a hell of a week.

Clackport
11 years ago
One of the funniest threads ever. A lot of you did not realize he was joking until the very end.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Ranukam-Good looking out on pulling up this classic! I've missed out on some shit.
zipman68
11 years ago
This thread needed a bump...CLASSIC!
Clackport
11 years ago
I believe this thread was inspired by this thread which was posted a day earlier.

www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=16695

Staxaveli spoofing me lol! I still got love for you bro.
staxwell
11 years ago
Lol yep, that's the one, ranukam.
SoonerSam
11 years ago
I can'tr believe some of the big names on TUSCL got trolled hardcore by Stax on this one! Great stuff. Props, staxwell!
Estafador
11 years ago
@soonersam, its because these old guys are sensitive and some suprise me that they can't take a joke.Funny shit stax. It was social satire guys. Now ddon't shit on de young bucks ya hear?
Estafador
11 years ago
Gosh farnit I just realized this thread old as fuck
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