Strippers and Domestic Violence
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Older than dirt
Over the past few years I have gotten to know two strippers very well. We have met OTC on many occasions and have shared details of our lives.
My ATF is 27, the mother of a 7 year old (who is being raised by his grandmother) and the "baby daddy" has been in and out of the penal system. On several occasions he has beat her up (usually for infidelity) with the last time ending with him dragging her into the street by her hair which resulted in a parole violation for him and a return to the hoosegow.
The other young woman is 24, divorced from a police officer who used to beat her regularly and recently separated from a sugar daddy. Last week she was beaten up by her mother for not sharing her money.
Their plight started me thinking about why they are both physical and emotional punching bags and whether their actions contribute to the violence or if they are just victims. Both are frequent drug users and both have tempers which can only be described as fiery.
I googled "strippers & violence" and found what I expect is a doctoral dissertation on the University of Rhode Island website titled Strip clubs According to Strippers:Exposing Workplace Sexual Violence by Kelly Holsopple. Ms. Holsopple worked as a stripper as part of her research and is the author of Pimps, Tricks, and Feminists. She doesn't state whether she worked as a prostitute to better understand their plight. Some of the foundation of her paper include the following:
1. "Strip club customers are described as normal men who use strip clubs to avoid adultery and therefor find a safe outlet for their sexual desires in balance with their marital commitments." Speaking for myself, I go to strip clubs looking for opportunities for adultery.
2. "Strip clubs...reflect gender power dynamics in greater society." I don't think so. When one of these babes has me salivating and so f-ing hard I think I'm going to burst, she has all the power. That's why I go home with an empty wallet so frequently.
3."The entire analysis of strip clubs is located within the context of men's domination over women." "The strip club elicits and requires direct expressions of male domination and control over women."
4. In order to dominate or control...male dominated institutions and individual men utilize violence."
Wow. I didn't realize that I was such a pig. I thought I just loved beautiful women. I thought that a woman's breasts, buttocks, hips, turned me on. Little did I know.
So, are we all just testosterone driven misogynists? Ms. Holsopple goes on in her study to describe in some detail some of the heinous activities these poor women are subjected to, never mentioning the huge amounts of cash being forked over by us, the pathetic losers who are tired of bopping the baloney and hope to play hide the pepperoni. If you want to read the entire study its at www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/stripc1.ht…
Be interested in others' thoughts on this topic.
My ATF is 27, the mother of a 7 year old (who is being raised by his grandmother) and the "baby daddy" has been in and out of the penal system. On several occasions he has beat her up (usually for infidelity) with the last time ending with him dragging her into the street by her hair which resulted in a parole violation for him and a return to the hoosegow.
The other young woman is 24, divorced from a police officer who used to beat her regularly and recently separated from a sugar daddy. Last week she was beaten up by her mother for not sharing her money.
Their plight started me thinking about why they are both physical and emotional punching bags and whether their actions contribute to the violence or if they are just victims. Both are frequent drug users and both have tempers which can only be described as fiery.
I googled "strippers & violence" and found what I expect is a doctoral dissertation on the University of Rhode Island website titled Strip clubs According to Strippers:Exposing Workplace Sexual Violence by Kelly Holsopple. Ms. Holsopple worked as a stripper as part of her research and is the author of Pimps, Tricks, and Feminists. She doesn't state whether she worked as a prostitute to better understand their plight. Some of the foundation of her paper include the following:
1. "Strip club customers are described as normal men who use strip clubs to avoid adultery and therefor find a safe outlet for their sexual desires in balance with their marital commitments." Speaking for myself, I go to strip clubs looking for opportunities for adultery.
2. "Strip clubs...reflect gender power dynamics in greater society." I don't think so. When one of these babes has me salivating and so f-ing hard I think I'm going to burst, she has all the power. That's why I go home with an empty wallet so frequently.
3."The entire analysis of strip clubs is located within the context of men's domination over women." "The strip club elicits and requires direct expressions of male domination and control over women."
4. In order to dominate or control...male dominated institutions and individual men utilize violence."
Wow. I didn't realize that I was such a pig. I thought I just loved beautiful women. I thought that a woman's breasts, buttocks, hips, turned me on. Little did I know.
So, are we all just testosterone driven misogynists? Ms. Holsopple goes on in her study to describe in some detail some of the heinous activities these poor women are subjected to, never mentioning the huge amounts of cash being forked over by us, the pathetic losers who are tired of bopping the baloney and hope to play hide the pepperoni. If you want to read the entire study its at www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/stripc1.ht…
Be interested in others' thoughts on this topic.
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18 comments
In other words; this paper is BS. It just keeps perpetuating the stereotype that strippers are just damaged women who do that because they have nothing else to do.
Does the attractiveness of the women factor in? With the majority of us pl's being less than GQ models, are dancers becoming incurred and therefore provoking the men around them?
Violence against strippers, however, is a serious problem. Dancers have told me stories of husbands and boyfriends and customers who have abused them and sometimes nearly killed them. The abusers belong in jail.
I don't know why some men beat women. But it is wrong to lump all men together as the problem. Most men do not beat women even when women treat them like dirt. Let's focus on the criminals.
I also don't know why some women put up with domestic abuse. Perhaps they have low self-esteem or feel they have no other options. Why has Rihanna gone back to Chris Brown?
Q Why didn't Rihanna win a Grammy?
A Chris Brown beat her.
Almost every "intellectual" I have ever met is too stupid to wipe their backside but thinks they are an expert on every one else. Its like a nun teaching sex ed.
"So, are we all just testosterone driven misogynists?" - No, there are many men who do fit this description, and many are members here. Again I have expressed how I BEHAVE in a club, and it is NOT misogynistic despite what certain attacking members here will say about me.
I have known at least one dancer really well who had Family/domestic violence issues in her past. With others, the subject has not been discussed.
3."The entire analysis of strip clubs is located within the context of men's domination over women." "The strip club elicits and requires direct expressions of male domination and control over women."
that is her real issue, the strip club analysis is just being offered up as evidence that all men in society are pigs, not just those who go to clubs. i don't mind pigs as long as they bring home the bacon!
So to them when a dancer rubs her breasts in my face I must be sexually abusing her through some sinister exercise of male power over her. It seems to me that some sort of power is causing all those twenties to fly out of wallets and it isn't a power that the men have over the women.
The report also seems to regard it as commonplace certain harrassing and questionable business practices and having the dancers being abused by managers and owners. These practices were never as universal as they are presented here and now that lawyers have found that dancers can be a fruitful area for workplace lawsuits they are becoming even less so.
Still, I have long felt that customers should be concerned that clubs are being operated in a socially responsible manner and having management sexually harrass the dancers definitely does not qualify as OK. In the bigger picture though it is shortsighted by owners and managers to allow that. Clubs have to compete for dancers and the club with the fewest hassles will be able to attract the best dancers.
C'mon Ms. Holsopple....I triple-dog-DARE-you to psychoanalyze me!!!
Thanks for the input man. Can you give an example of how trying to help can make it worse? I can think of examples, but just wanted your personal experience and/or perspective.
Just the other day this girl I was trying to do OTC had obvious signs she was in a fight or what have you. Her "exboyfriend" who is a convicted felon she says takes half her money. She says her attitude is that she will just make more.
That is a turn off to me. I ain't tipping her no more, if half that shit is going to a low life loser.
One dancer told me a month ago that a customer who she saw OTC (no play apparently) hit her while at the club and she didn't say anything. So I guess that kind of shit does happen. I'm not naive, just didn't give it much thought.
So she can end up in prison for killing someone.
I don't think the author of this study would have actually had sex with any customers. I don't think she would have done anything that she found that she liked, with customers.
She would be the exact opposite of @carolynne who writes on her profile about all manner of things she likes doing with customers.
Someone has got to really want to be a stripper and to really want to show off their looks and their dance abilities and to be into the makeup and the shoes and the costuming, and also it will mean really liking giving guys all the things they want. So for one who really wants this, there is nothing abusive about it. It is all in the realm of what adults can consent to and partake in freely.
Now why do dancers often lead destructive lives? With some of them it is because that is the way they grew up. They were used and abused. I see this more with the white dancers, that they were the family scape goat.
Now if they understood this, then they could speak out and organize and fight for legal redress. But most of them don't understand this. And so they have internalized this unworthiness. As such they dance and do all that is wanted of them, but that still cannot restore their civil and social standing. It is just money. They still are living without legitimacy. The wound is never healed. They never have their identity restored because they, and not the perpetrators are looked upon with suspicion. So they try to avoid it with substance addictions. They go on to be in horrible and abusive relationships.
It is the same sort of person that the Christian Evangelicals go after and try to get hooked on a more serious addiction. If these Christians get to them, then any hope that they will ever be able to face the truth is gone forever.
So what will change things is when people understand that someone just does not screw up their life, that there had to have been something behind it, some way in which they were abused. And then for this there must be legal redress.
I see this less often among the Black, Latina, and Asian dancers. Often they are very heads up people who have found a way for themselves to function in a world which is completely unfair. They are not the family scape goats, they are people displaying adaptability and talents.
There are different schools of Feminism. One of them is moralistic and judgmental. This comes from Puritanism. This strain is well caricatured in the types known as Uplifters, in D.W. Griffiths 1911 film, Intolerance. He is relating them to The Pharisees of the New Testament.
But the more effective strain comes from Existentialism in the person of Simone de Beauvoir. It encourages us to look at the choices we make, and to see that we have choices, and that it is we who have to create values. So when it comes to women the issue is to see the types of fixed categories we have put them into, and then to find ways to break the walls down. It is this type of Feminism which has allowed so many to cross over lines and become extreme mileage sex workers, and to be proud of it, and to live healthy lives.
I like Carolynne's attitude about it all, the pride she brings and the types of talents she obviously takes joy in demonstrating.
is FS-ITC so good that it replaces escort sessions?
www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=30548
legal issues in raising SC service level
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
Blue Balls? rejecting the "extras" model and instead acting upon the dancer
www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=30705
DFKing, why wait for the VIP Room, do it in the main room
www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=30488
More than just test driving, get her completely off script
www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=30505
SJG
so I gave her just a little kiss
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCyQgdubcQo