This strip club problem you can neither see nor hear

10/28/2024 12:45:24 PM

Something has been missing from the strip club fantasy. It may have been missing forever. It's not something you can see. It's something you can't hear.

Dirty talk. In a world dedicated to our sexual imagination, to the illusion that she is preferred at that moment to the women in our real lives, it's missing and missed.

Think about it. You can find any kind of girl. White, black, Latin or Asian - they're there. Girls who barely dent the scale at 85 lbs. Others who weigh closer to the NFL range. There are tits in every size and shape. There are big asses and tight little butts. Blondes and brunettes. Redheads too. Oh yeah, redheads too. There are young girls and older women. Gowns and lingerie. There is the surgeon's handiwork and the hand of God. There are stage dances and private dances. There are air dances. And there are handjobs, blowjobs and fucking. Yes, there is!

The incredible variety is part of the appeal. It's wonderful. It's everything we could ask for. Almost everything. A major exception is one thing that some of us want but hardly ever find. Can I get a girl to be even halfway good at dirty talk? After hundreds of dancers and decades of trying, it's such a rare treat.

It's not just strip clubs either. Porn stinks at dirty talk. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me" doesn't count. Nor does the tedious "right there, right there, right there, I'm going to cum." Porn should be so much better at this.

Dirty talk doesn't have to be difficult. Just describe what you're doing. "I'm licking the swollen red head on your big dick" would go a long way toward my satisfaction and her tip. Instead I mostly get ... well ... nothing.

To be fair, my civilian sex hasn't been all that different in the dirty talk category. One or two girls were great at it. They understood the charge it gave me and used it strategically. A couple of whispers, and we were off to the races. The right word at the right moment, and it was fireworks.

Case in point. A longtime lover all but refused to talk dirty over our years-long relationship. For some reason one day she surprised me while giving me a handjob in bed. Out of the blue, she just starts describing sex with a former boyfriend. The delight of hearing my fantasy soundtrack so unexpectedly set me off almost right away. It was one of the most powerful orgasms of my life. Nearly every drop blasted over my head and over the bed's headboard high onto the wall. And for reference, I was no teenager at the time. I was closing in on 40. Bam.

In the clubs, I get it that a dancer I've met just five minutes before - a girl who expects her tits and ass, not her vocabulary, to get the job done - isn't inclined to start the nasty soundtrack right off the bat. Not with the music blaring. Still, it would be nice. Actually, it would be more than nice - nice enough to pay for.

If you've read my reviews and articles (try "The dick knows the difference," for instance), then you know that I have banged lots of girls in the back. More than a few I've banged in the back multiple times. And all of them I've tried to coax into saying a few simple things to make our time even more special. Some just stare blankly. Some make feeble attempts. Few manage more than a token "cock" or "pussy."

I really would have thought professionals would be better at this. But I suppose it's yet another example of the many limitations of the dancers we love. So my quest continues. Worst case is I still get to come.

13 comments

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Sgrayeff

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2 months ago

Okay downvoters. The honest truth is I thought about making this one a discussion. But then I had so much to say. So ... But AI? Really? I wish AI could write my fantasies.

IWantHerOnMe

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2 months ago

Some people call anything AI

Manuellabore

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2 months ago

It takes two to tango. You may be like me, and feel inhibited to initiate dirty talk because it might make you look or feel silly, which is why i normally don't initiate, and respond lamely when my companion says something dirty to me. But, if it's important to you, it can't hurt to get the ball rolling, especially with somebody you've been with before and with whom you have a degree of comfort

Sgrayeff

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2 months ago

I ask. I do. But should I have to?

Jascoi

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2 months ago

The verbal audio is a nice touch.

caseyx

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2 months ago

Recently I met a dancer who looked like she probably would have been hot and my type 10 years ago but by now was looking a little past her prime. Not unattractive but not a top looker at this club. On a whim I agreed to do a couple warm up dances and as soon as she got on my lap she started whispering nasty shit in my ear about what she was doing and what she wanted to do in the back. That got me to take her to the VIP and, after a little more dirty talk encouragement, got her a nice tip as we proceeded to do a lot of the things she was whispering in my ear. I appreciate a dancer who understands.

misterorange

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2 months ago

It's not like they don't know how, and it's not like they don't know it gets us revved up. I say that because I've gotten the dirty treatment as a sales pitch. You're at the bar, she steps up and asks for a drink. You agree because you've already been eye-banging her from across the room. The conversation starts off innocently. She asks about your hobbies and pretends to show interest, she tells you a funny story about her dog and giggles like a schoolgirl, and just as you're in the middle of saying something, she abruptly leans into you, grabs your junk, puts her lips to your ear so close they're touching and you can feel her wet tongue as she says, "I want you to pull my hair while you shove this dick down my fucking throat." Sorry, what? Can you repeat that? "I SAID" (mouth tighter and tongue wetter) "I want you to treat me like a dirty little whore. Fuck my face and cum in my mouth." She knows you cant resist, and 2 minutes later you're in the back, pants around your ankles. The dick goes in her mouth, and the next words you hear are, "That's three songs. Do you want another one?"

Sgrayeff

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2 months ago

Yes, misterorange. That's happened a few times. Barside she has the rap. In the room, she goes mute. Torture.

Puddy Tat

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2 months ago

Dirty talk is an art form. I don't mean the porn talk of "OH BAAAABY FUCK MY PUSSSYYYYYY!!!" but real personalized stuff. It's almost always better with civvies than strippers, as they know what you like. One liked to say "I'm in heat for you!" and when I was about to bust "oh baby, give me all of it!" Always made me cum violently hard.

wallanon

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2 months ago

I didn't even notice this was an article until I got to the comments. Must've clicked on the wrong link lol. Anyhow, all I came to say was dirty talk is great so long as it doesn't get distracting.

"'I'm licking the swollen red head on your big dick' would go a long way toward my satisfaction and her tip."

To me that sounds more like phone sex, but I'm not trying to rain on your fantasy. I'm pretty basic I guess. A simple "Does that feel good?" in between slurps will do for me lol.

Ninjalust1

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a month ago

I was at a club around dinner time. I innocently asked a very charming dancer whether she had eaten dinner yet. She said, “no, but I want eat you.” She smiled and gave me a wink. That’s all it took, and I was off to the races with her.

MCH301

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a month ago

I’ve asked a lot of dancers at Playhouse Lounge to talk dirty to me. Savannah is one of the best. She asked what I wanted to hear, then really went with that. Definitely made the whole experience more intense.