About LDKs ... the good, the bad, and the sticky

An LDK (or "lapgasm" in other online places) occurs when a guy cums in his pants due to the friction caused by a dancer during a high-contact lap dance or VIP session. It's a topic that comes up often enough in strip-club-related forums that it's worth having a round-up article that captures often-stated opinions and realities. As usual, these are my opinions and thoughts. I'm expecting some debate and disagreement (especially since I'm not an LDK guy, except on two occasions long ago). === DO GUYS REALLY CUM IN THEIR PANTS? Yes, absolutely. And though it's not a majority of strip club customers, the demographic is also larger than a handful. There are enough guys who LDK that it comes up semi-regular in forums like this. It's also popular to a degree that you'll occasionally see several guys get into lengthy online debates regarding the best LDK-friendly pants as well as best practices for containing or cleaning up the resulting wet mess. === WHY DO GUYS LDK? Well, the mechanical and anatomical reasons are obvious... friction on your naughty bits. This section is more to talk about awareness and intent. There are two types of guys who LDK: (1) guys who go to the club specifically to LDK, and (2) those who do not seek an LDK but it happens anyway. Yes, there are guys who sit somewhere between those two positions, but most lean one way or another. Let's talk about group #1 first (guys who want LDKs). It can vary, but most guys who are into LDKs do it for reasons ranging from it being the "cheapest nut" to wanting to blow a load without the STD risk. Related to that, there's a fair number of LDK guys who have wives and girlfriends. For them, LDKs also provide a means to not take an STD home to their partner. There's also a segment of these guys who tell themselves that LDKs do not qualify as cheating on a partner. [Personal opinion... that's some bullshit; if you're hiding your sexy fun time from your partner, then you're cheating.] Group #2 includes guys with no intention of nutting in their pants, but they found a dancer who rubs them (literally) the right way. There's not a lot to say about these guys, except they're the most likely to show up here with questions ranging from "Am I monster?" to "Can I keep doing this?" === IS IT A BAD THING? Opinions vary and are sometimes contentious. Generally speaking, it's not a bad thing under most circumstances. That said, you very often see other customers throw shade at LDK guys for glorifying premature ejaculation, being "weird" (as if there's a lot of 'normal' in a strip club), etc. It is not a bad thing if (1) you keep your mess contained (no dancer loves a surprise wet spot), and/or (2) warn the dancer before a dance that it might happen, and/or (3) warn the dancer during a dance if it's about to happen. If you can't accomplish this, then (depending on the dancer) prepare to apologize and tip more. It is absolutely a bad thing if you're one of those guys who intentionally does not keep his mess contained and gets off on the furtive, sneaky nature of a surprise wet spot. These guys get an extra jolly from seeing a dancer realize what happened and her being upset by it. Don't be one of those guys. All of those guys are assholes. === WHAT DO DANCERS THINK? Well, according to many dancers posting online, any guy who LDKs will be universally hated by all dancers, beaten within an inch of their lives, and then thrown out of the club and banned for life. Simultaneously, according to many LDK guys posting online, most dancers are proud and happy to provide this service and regard LDK guys and their favorite and best customers. Predictably, there's a lot of confirmation bias happening with both viewpoints, and the truth is in the middle. In reality, many dancers either don't care or are mildly annoyed at most. They perhaps don't love it, but it's low on the list of things that bothers them about a customer (as long as they get paid). But there are some dancers who don't like it at all and will create a loud scene. If you can't keep your mess contained, then you will find one of those dancers eventually, and it won't be great. Of course, this is a moot point if you've talked to the dancer about this happening and them noticing. === IS AN LDK AN EXTRA? There's no answer that works for both customers and dancers. Many dancers will say "yes." Many customers will say "no." I'm sure that this is surprising to everyone... #sarcasm Not having to pay extra for an LDK is why many guys go to great lengths to keep it under wraps. If you can keep it hidden, then congratulations; you're a cum-stain cat burglar. Dancers may not love this, but there's not much they can do about something they don't know about. That said, if you do talk to or warn a dancer about an LDK that they'll likely notice, then be prepared for them to ask for more money (or not want it to happen at all). From my perspective, a dance that results in a nut (inside or outside of the pants) is a really good dance, and I tip extra for really good dances. How much? That's between you and the dancer. === SO... WHAT ARE THE BEST PANTS FOR AN LDK? This shouldn't be a difficult question to answer. That said, based on the billions of threads just about this subject, material that is thinner and smoother will be best for LDKs. For a lot of guys, that's sweatpants or basketball shorts. If your club doesn't allow that type of dress (or if the hottest dancers in your club avoid the "sweatpants guys"), then golf pants or sweatpants that look more casual and less athletic will suffice. Also, some casual khakis and dress pants are not a bad choice. Not blue jeans; not canvas work pants. Thick, coarse fabric isn't great for either the customer or dancer. Also, no zipper is better than zipper, if possible (because zipper "burn" isn't great). Finally, lean towards darker colors (unless you fly your cum-stain flag high and proud).