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JScrib325

Texas

This is my personal list of things that will make me mad for the rest of the night in Strip Clubs. I know that these may not bother everyone, but I know a couple of these will bother some of you. In no particular order.

1. Pushy Waitresses- I understand that its your job to ask about drinks, so you can possibly get tips and all, but if I told you 5 minutes ago that I don't want a drink, what makes you think my mind has changed in the last 5 minutes? If you want a tip, just say so, I may be inclined to give you a dollar to have, after all, I am in a strip club and in a giving mood.

2. Dishonest Dancers- Look, lets be real with ourselves here. I'm here to get a service, you're here to provide that service. Now the definition of this service you are providing could be extremely different from my definition, and there's nothing wrong with that. But just keep it real and tell me. My favorite dancers are the ones that either tell me from jump street "Dance is x amount of $, I don't do this, I don't do that, and I don't do this for any amount of money." I respect that! At least I know up front, and I'll tell you either yes, or no. Girls that tell me "We'll see what happens" or "You won't regret it" and then I get over there and it's nothing impressive will highly piss me off. If I'm paying for VIP with you, I'm expecting some mileage. You don't have to go all out with extras, but to not off any? That's a good way to lose repeat business.

3. Stuck-Up Dancers- As a person, we all want various levels of respect, and dancers are no different. And I think that respect will get you a lot further with a girl than treating them like shit. That being said, this is a two-way street. If I am respecting you as a person, you should give me that same treatment. As a black person, there's nothing that makes me more upset than the clubs here in TX where a lot of the girls only gravitate towards white boys (whether they have money or not). I don't care what color I am, all of my money is still green with dead Presidents on it, so what does it matter? Or just the girls that don't talk to anyone, and will just walk through the club doing their sets till they get to go home. You made the choice to be a stripper, so why not make as much as you can doing it?

4. Overpriced cover- At some point, you should recognize who and what you are. There is no what that if your club is not top tier, you should charge top tier price. Dallas, Vegas, ATL, and Miami can charge 20,30 or 40 bucks to get in, and people will pay it, because they're appealing to the high rollers. And that's fine and dandy. But if you're not a high roller club, expecting people to pay those exorbitant prices just to get in, and not even beginning to count drinks, tips and dances is insane. Know who you are, you'd be surprised how much more business you can get if you just cut cover a bit.

5. Guys that tie up a strippers time all night- Look, I know that taking a stripper home with you (especially for free) is the American dream. I know that you think that if you can spit your best game to her, she'll go home and give you the ride of your life for free. But at the same time, catch her outside the club. Do that stuff on your own time. Some of us would like to pay for a dance. If you're negotiating price, fine, but that doesn't take a half hour to an hour. Either get the dance or don't, but stop tying up her time forever and a day talking. If you're that sad and lonely that the only person in the world you can get to listen to you is a stripper, then you have more problems than going to the SC can solve.

6. Stripper BFs- Dear sweet baby Jesus, this pisses me off! First of all, you get to see her at home naked for free, so why in the bluest of blue hells do you feel the need to be at work with her too? Don't you have enough? Secondly, do you not trust her to not do anything you wouldn't approve of? If your relationship is so rocky that you have to follow her to work and be there all night to make sure it meets with your approval, you have some serious control issues. Get over yourself. You may end up cheating her out of more money she could've gotten and given to your loser ass later.

7. Rocks- It pisses me off to see these guys in the club that do nothing but pay the cover. The point of a strip club is for both the club and ladies to make money. If you're just sitting there on your wallet and never tip anyone, never drink or do anything else, then WTF are you doing here? That makes no sense to me. Tipping and contact with the stippers and VIP dances are the most fun to me, so why are you just sitting there doing nothing? If your friends dragged you in, then fine, I suppose. That makes sense. But if you came on your own to do nothing but not be at the house, that's just dumb in my opinion.

8. Seeing girls get nothing- I understand only having a certain number of dollars and wanting to make sure that they only go to what you most want to spend them on, but it bothers me seeing the girls that can actually dance not make ANY money. This is probably a by-product of me going on weeknights, but if she can somewhat dance, and is even moderately attractive, I always try to throw her something at least. Seeing a girl dance for no one is just sad.

9. No effort Hot girl- Just because you're in the 9-10 range, doesn't mean you shouldn't try to at least dance somewhat. I understand that you're hot. I understand that with some guys that's all it takes for you to get paid. But you should at least make an attempt to shake it or do some pole tricks or something! Don't just come out and swing with your hand around the pole and your top off and think that's enough. Give your customers something to like.

10. Constant Upsell Girl- C.U.G. Ah, how I hate thee. Constant Upsell Girl is the girl that never stops to enjoy the dance she's doing, and is only concerned about the next money she'll be making. If you tip her, she wants you to make it rain. If you make it rain, she wants you to pay for a mini-lap. If you do that, she wants $25 for a full lap, if she gets $25 for a full lap, she wants $100 for VIP, you pay $100 for VIP, she wants $400 for champagne room. IT NEVER ENDS. Asking is one thing, telling is entirely different. Concentrate on what you're doing right now, and then maybe we can talk about what happens next. Maybe if you give me an awesome dance right now, I'll want more, and you won't have to constantly upsell me.

P.S. One other thing that gets an honorable mention is the girls that hang on you as soon as you walk into the club. Can I at least sit down first? JEEZ!