Reviews by GardnyTheElder

I may have indicated in a few other reviews of Portland strip clubs that when I moved here three years ago, it was with ambition to open my own strip club. I'm confident that I…

Of the ten or so times I've bothered to go to the Boom Boom Room, only two or three really stand out. A few years ago my girl and I used to have an office…

There is no strip club that I have to travel further from my front door to reach than Runway. 28 miles. It says a lot that on a couple of occasions, I have done that.…

The first time I ever came to Dancin' Bare it was about 7pm on a Friday night. My girl was taking a pole dancing class down the road and I had about an hour to…

The old Hawthorne Strip, on Hawthorne Ave., was a decent strip club. Small, cozy, neighborhood dive bar sort of feel with a small stage up front. The new Hawthorne Strip lacks all of that charm.…

It's funny how many times Club Playpen comes up in everyday conversation. Granted, everyday conversation with me usually involves strippers or other strip club goers. Just last week it came up twice. The first time…

The first time I was at Pirates Cove I noticed the smell as soon as I walked in. We were coming in fresh from another strip club and had to hit the bathroom straight away…

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to do a write-up about every single club in Portland. Frankly, some clubs really didn't leave much of an impression on me, and I…

I've got personal bias against the clubs owned by Johnny Diablo. Casa Diablo, Dusk 'til Dawn and the now defunct Black Cauldron. Most of my impressions are based on hearsay; thus I am choosing not…

I went to Scarlet Lounge on the opening night of it's official re-branding from it's awfully named predecessor, Pitiful Princess. I don't know what I would consider the worst named strip club in Portland anymore?…

I don't get Heat. It's too dark. It's poorly located. Of the five times I've been there over the years, all times of day and night, different days of the week, it's just been boring.…

I've been looking for someplace to write my reviews of all the strip clubs in Portland. That led me yesterday afternoon to TUSCL. Curiosity made me view the highest ranked Portland strip club based on…

There are not very many strip clubs in Portland that are part of a national chain. Three in fact: Gold Club, Spearmint Rhino, and Sin Rock. All of which have opened their Portland locations in…

My first review for TUSCL. I will be reviewing every strip club in Portland Oregon. All forty-four of them. I am starting from the worst club in the city and eventually making my way to…

The first time I was at Jags Clubhouse, it was because I had dedicated the night to hitting up the five remaining strip clubs I had never been to yet. That should give you an…

My girl and I showed up at Club Skinn for the first time on a Thursday afternoon. We had seen an ad in Xoticspot magazine saying that Club Skinn was holding a "Best Ass" contest…

What is there to like about Lure? My girl and I first stopped there on our way home from work one afternoon. It was about 4pm. Granted, there are not too many strip clubs in…

Truthfully, there isn't much I can say about Dream On. For me, what constitutes having been to a strip club is sitting down, having at least one drink, and just taking everything in. It was…