38/44

I've been looking for someplace to write my reviews of all the strip clubs in Portland. That led me yesterday afternoon to TUSCL. Curiosity made me view the highest ranked Portland strip club based on dancer quality. I laughed out loud when Bottoms Up ranked #1. Obviously someone affiliated with this club is padding the reviews. There is absolutely not a chance that this club has the best dancers in the city. Now I had to join this site and offer my reviews.

Bottoms Up is barely even in Portland, it is about a 20min drive from downtown Portland, without traffic. It is a run down tavern on the side of the road, that sticks out like a sore thumb at night with it's bright signage. I've been here twice. The first time I showed up alone during the night shift, just to check it out and say I'd been there. There was one dancer there during that first visit that was pretty cute and personable on stage.

The stage is small and poorly configured. The music is played by the dancer from a stereo system that is straight out of the eighties. After sitting at her rack for her set, I returned to the bar and continued looking around. That is when I concluded that this was an all American Red White and Blue bar. Redneck, White trash, Blue Collar. I'm not saying that any of that is necessarily a negative thing. This is simply the type of clientele this particular bar attracts. Some clubs around Portland attract the same type, but they just do it better, (ie: Dancin' Bare). I drank my drink that night and left satisfied that I wouldn't ever have to come back.

A year later, in order for her to say she has been to every strip club in Portland, I took my girlfriend all the way out there. No dancers on stage. One dancer sitting at the end of the bar talking to some customers. The bartender was friendly. We each got a well drink, which I thought was over priced and poorly mixed. I'm of the mindset that I would prefer the taste of a properly mixed drink, over a drink that is heavy on the alcohol. That's just me, but hey, this is also my review.