42/44

What is there to like about Lure? My girl and I first stopped there on our way home from work one afternoon. It was about 4pm. Granted, there are not too many strip clubs in Portland that are really kicking already at 4pm, but that isn't a quality that I hold against Lure. We were not expecting it to be crazy. For starters, it is in the most random, out of the way, location of almost any strip club in the city. I would have a hard time believing that anyone outside of maybe a one mile radius of the club would ever bother going there. I know I wouldn't if I didn't have that thing about me that compels me to have to go to every single club in town, often multiple times, even though I know it will be a terrible experience.

The parking lot is small, which I guess is fine since there are never that many people there. It wasn't a pleasant smelling club, but that isn't uncommon for a strip club. The interior was a shambles and unkept. The ceiling was low and falling apart. The booze selection was subpar and my whiskey/coke was poorly mixed. There were two customers at the end of the bar and one dancer was between the both of them letting both of them feel her up as she talked to the bartender. The bar was not kept up in cleanliness and I had to keep in mind not to put my arm in the sweat of the previous patrons drink. The stage was small and uncomfortably placed in the corner of the bar. The music was shitty hybrid country-rock. The dancers were nothing to speak of.

A year or so later I had noticed on Craigslist that Lure was for sale. Being that my girl and I eventually plan to open our own strip club, we inquired how much it was for sale for. We would never by that business because "Location Location Location", but we were curious how much. It was shocking how little it was for sale for. A few months later, under the assumption that it was sold, simply because it had been a few months, I returned one evening to see what the new owners had done with it. Absolutely nothing. It was the same deplorable club that it was the last time I had been there. That was about a year ago and I haven't been back since.