I have a friend that is a frequent poster on here. He got involved with a nutty dancer that has made his life miserable. Her boyfriend called his house and spoke to his wife. Spilled the whole beans. Now he is kissing ass big time. Not getting any pussy at home or any where else. I feel like "Dear Abbey" whenever I reply to his emails. Nobody can bust me because I answer to no one. You people with SO's be care full...
The part that sucks, isn't the part about the dancer calling his wife. The part that sucks, is the part about the dude kissing-ass big time and not getting any pussy. If he had worked his relationship with his wife properly, he'd be the one calling the shots about this sort of thing, not her. He probably went to strippers because he was pussy-whipped by the virago-bitch-wife in the first place; and now he's just MORE whipped by women. His problems, it seems, are deeper than just one stripper doing him one wrong.
If you are going to cheat, then cheat carefully. Dont give the mistress access to the S.O. even if they are not that significant, this includes phones numbers, and anything else that could lead to "accidental" meetings
FOUNDER-perhaps we could put together a guide for guys who see gals OTC, for instance, types of hotels to take dancers to (upscale?), or types of restaurants/theaters (in case the GFE is going on). Of course, it'll have to be divided for married/single guys.
Rule number one should be:Never lend them money. Only give money for services rendered (don't pay in advance).
Shadow: see, I knew I smelled it a mile away! Men who get pussy-whipped before, or during, marriage, are gonna get the same treatment if they stray. Even if they are legitimately DRIVEN to HAVE TO STRAY. It's the way "power" works. It's not about justice, in which whoever deserves to be higher up gets lifted up because he's too low-down; instead, whoever is down, gets kicked further down.
Shek, I don't think anyone here had any idea who he was talking about. I certainly didn't. I would hardly describe you as a "frequent poster" as he did, you haven't been here much in a very long time.
But to get back to the original subject, I don't think you can single out strippers, I think this could happen with any girl you fool around with. And Wondergirl, I think you'll find that a lot of us here have had OTC relationships with strippers that didn't involve sex. You're making an untrue generalization (LOL).
Shekitout: I have to agree with FONDL in that your criticism of Shadowcat's comment is unwarranted. I read most all of the comments on this site, usually on a daily basis and had no idea as to whom he was referring. I think Shadowcat was using your experience to make a point and did not do anything to risk revealing your identity. I suspect no one on TUSCL would have had any idea who he was referring to if you had not posted a reply.
I have a great OTC "relationship" with the only dancer I would term an ATF. It doesn't involve sex, its just a great friendship. To the point of this thread, the problem was due to what sounds like a jeolous BF, not the dancer, at least thats how I read it. That may be the lesson, ony OTC with unattached dancers!!!
Its probably never a great idea to give up too much personal info but if you spend enough time with someone enough to hurt is bound to come out. So the risk just seems to go with the territory. If you cant risk it, don't get so involved! There are plenty of clubs that offer extras and escorts if you are looking for sex.
Shekitout: Listen buddy, it was not my intention to let every one on here know your identity and you are not the only poster on here that wishes my dick would fall off. And you will please note that I did not provide a lot of details. BTW, I noticed you posted on here at 11:40 A.M. but sent me an email at 12:17P.M. and never mentioned it. We have known each other for 6+ years and shared the same ATF. Lets not let this little incident bring that to an end.
Wondergirl: I have to agree with most of the other posters. 90% of my OTC meetings with strippers was for lunch/dinner and some nice conversation with a beautiful girl.I'm 66 now and am no fool in what I expect from a stripper. I have had some great times. The only bad ones that can remember were with the other 10% that was for paid sex. My ex wife was 14 years younger than me. That was a mistake. I am not about to get romantically involved with any female half my age. I do like the sex though.
Okey dokey guys. The thing you always fail to notice is when I ask a question Im truly wanting an answer Im not trying to make a point or pick a fight. (Ill leave that to you burly men types LOL) When I asked I was only going by the definition of OTC in the glossery. Remember Im new to this and alot younger so Im learnin from you guys dont assume Im tryin to start somethin ha ha ha.
Some of our "senior aged" posters have a problem with distinguishing between a woman having reel feelings for them or being her cash cow. This is about paid for sex by a bunch of pathetic losers who need to call it a relationship to keep from hanging themselves in shame.
Any attached guy who gets into a serious "relationship" with a stripper needs to have his head examined. I like OTC fun as much as the next guy, but you have to keep it business. I'm like Charlie Sheen on this one "I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to go away after."
Taking them to dinner is a waste of everyone's time. All they are going to do is tell you some hard luck about how terrible their life has been, and they will try and hit you up for money.
Best to get straight to the paid for sex. They like it better that way too.
do you guys really take strippers out to dinner for good conversation? What the hell do you talk about? baby mammas, unpaid bills, ex boyfriends, drug use, breast implants, etc...wow...thats gotta be intellectually stimulating.
Well, I recently cooked for a stripper. She lived with me for a few days recently. Her baby daddy needed to calm down before she settle back in at their crib. I found the conversations to be intellectually stimulating. We talked about how wonderful food tasted on Komodo Kamado (it tiled ceramic smoker and grill), how blood thirsty her baby daddy is and how many years behind bars he has done, the numerous criminal histories of all her male relatives and checking them out online, she doesn't like sex with men unless taking E, she witholds sex from her boyfriend even if it means getting beat, Suduko puzzles, Hanjie puzzles, vocabulary games, her child and trying to be a good parent i.e. education and discipline, her goals for the future, abortion (because raising a child is so difficult without a positive role model), going to church, and the list goes on and on and on. :)
I have been around the age of the dancers I have visited away from the clubs. The first dancer I did pay her for some more private dances. I was brand new to strip clubs and she was new to dancing. I didn't know that this was unusual at the time. After a few disagreements over a year or two we seem to become more friends than dancer and customer. I even stopped by her house a few times just to visit. She once called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie.
Another dancer was 2 years older than me but I was in my 20's. She came after me. She invited me to go along after she got off from work to get a bite to eat. I believe we each paid for our own meals. I took her home afterwards. I was hanging out with her after work on a regular basis for a while (not paying her anything). I can't remember what she did one time that got me upset but I broke it off with her and never called her again. I never gave her my phone number so that was that.
Another dancer I met told me straight up she didn't want to do any dating or any of that stuff. She just wanted one thing. I thought I could live with that. Until in the club I noticed she acted like we were in some kind of relationship watching me like a hawk and even getting mad if I spent too much time with other dancers. Then she started telling me how much she liked me. I was thinking "what is she thinking about?" I was going to break things off with her but she made that very difficult. Until one day I don't know if I said something or what but she suddenly disappeared. I didn't bother to call her though. Time went by.
I can't remember other possible dancers I may have seen outside the club. Well I do remember another but she really was a one night stand flying out to Arizona the next day. That was another dancer that asked me to see her later. Isn't it funny early on how often you will agree to see dancers later but as you get older you start saying no thanks? At least that has been my experience.
DickJohnson, if we didn't share some common interests and if she wasn't intelligent and I didn't enjoy conversation with her, I wouldn't invite her out to lunch or dinner in the first place. Personally I enjoy talking to people whose backgrounds and opinions are different from my own, that's the way to learn something. Talking to people whose backgrounds are the same as mine gets to be boring because you know exactly what they're going to say, the conversation requires no thought.
I am aware that I outed myself so to speak by posting a response to Shadowcat's post but he's always talking about the trust he's built up with the dancers at his favorite club-apparentally that trust doesn't apply to his strip club buddies! I hope his dick reattaches itself & then rots off!!
Shek, or what it's worth, I have shared personal information with Shadowcat which I asked him not to divulge here. And he never has, for which I am grateful. He probably wasn't aware that you would mind him referring to your situation without indicating who he was talking about. Frankly I don't understand why you'd care.
Like I've said before, scat doesn't know when to shut his mouth, period. He's divulged personal info (or as he calls it "privileged information") before on other regular posters here on this board in a vain attempt at "bragging" that he knew this or that about so-and-so...it sucks IMO. Think about this TUSCL posters...how would you like to have some of your secrets & dirty laundry aired here for all to see, comment, and generally pile on to? I wouldn't like it one bit...even if my name wasn't attached to any of it.
Well, I've been preaching this for a few years, although I pretty much stopped when it became a flash point with one poster who shall not be named. OTC, in the sense we are talking about here, is a bad idea. It NEVER works out as anything positive (FONDL's case being the exception that proves the rule since he wasn't getting sex, or after it as far as I can tell). For years I've been saying if you want to go OTC, go to a pro, not a semi-pro stripper. OTC, in my opinion, is always a bad idea.
It all depends on what you're looking for. It's not the fact that she's a stripper that gets you into trouble, it's because you're pursuing outside sex and trying to keep a committed relationship at the same time. IMO, sooner or later that will always cause problems because it's dishonest, and dishonesty has a price. Actions have consequences, it's only a matter of time.
FONDL: "pursuing outside sex and trying to keep a committed relationship" with the SAME person, or with DIFFERENT women? I'm not following you here ...
This is becoming bull shit. I never mentioned Shekitout in this topic, although he was the example that I was using. He gave himself away and 2 other posters have recognized that and said so. I do not think that I owe him any apology. He emailed me that a frequent female poster on here had sent him a message of apology. I sent her a message and said that I did not see any reason for her to apologize. He emailed me that she had sent him another message disclosing the contents of my message to her. Now he is totally pissed at me. I guess that I have lost a friend. Moral: Be careful what you say on here.
That's it scat...stick to your guns...way to win friends and influence people! After all, it didn't really negatively affect your life at all, so who cares, right?
"Not getting any pussy at home or any where else. I feel like 'Dear Abbey' whenever I reply to his emails." "Rotten marriage led him to strippers."
Once again, would you really like this type of personal info about YOUR life aired here for all to see, read, and comment on?? I'd be sorry if I were you scat, but then again...I never want to be you, period.
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BookGuy: I don't disagree with you but I have priveleged information. Rotten marriage led him to strippers.
Rule number one should be:Never lend them money. Only give money for services rendered (don't pay in advance).
etc.
But to get back to the original subject, I don't think you can single out strippers, I think this could happen with any girl you fool around with. And Wondergirl, I think you'll find that a lot of us here have had OTC relationships with strippers that didn't involve sex. You're making an untrue generalization (LOL).
FONDL is correct. In my only OTC experience, sex was not involved. The age difference, was great. I believe that I was the father she never had.
Its probably never a great idea to give up too much personal info but if you spend enough time with someone enough to hurt is bound to come out. So the risk just seems to go with the territory. If you cant risk it, don't get so involved! There are plenty of clubs that offer extras and escorts if you are looking for sex.
Wondergirl: I have to agree with most of the other posters. 90% of my OTC meetings with strippers was for lunch/dinner and some nice conversation with a beautiful girl.I'm 66 now and am no fool in what I expect from a stripper. I have had some great times. The only bad ones that can remember were with the other 10% that was for paid sex. My ex wife was 14 years younger than me. That was a mistake. I am not about to get romantically involved with any female half my age. I do like the sex though.
Some of our "senior aged" posters have a problem with distinguishing between a woman having reel feelings for them or being her cash cow. This is about paid for sex by a bunch of pathetic losers who need to call it a relationship to keep from hanging themselves in shame.
Best to get straight to the paid for sex. They like it better that way too.
Another dancer was 2 years older than me but I was in my 20's. She came after me. She invited me to go along after she got off from work to get a bite to eat. I believe we each paid for our own meals. I took her home afterwards. I was hanging out with her after work on a regular basis for a while (not paying her anything). I can't remember what she did one time that got me upset but I broke it off with her and never called her again. I never gave her my phone number so that was that.
Another dancer I met told me straight up she didn't want to do any dating or any of that stuff. She just wanted one thing. I thought I could live with that. Until in the club I noticed she acted like we were in some kind of relationship watching me like a hawk and even getting mad if I spent too much time with other dancers. Then she started telling me how much she liked me. I was thinking "what is she thinking about?" I was going to break things off with her but she made that very difficult. Until one day I don't know if I said something or what but she suddenly disappeared. I didn't bother to call her though. Time went by.
I can't remember other possible dancers I may have seen outside the club. Well I do remember another but she really was a one night stand flying out to Arizona the next day. That was another dancer that asked me to see her later. Isn't it funny early on how often you will agree to see dancers later but as you get older you start saying no thanks? At least that has been my experience.
If you want to go OTC, go to a pro, yes; but sometimes a stripper IS a pro, not a semi-pro. :)
"Not getting any pussy at home or any where else. I feel like 'Dear Abbey' whenever I reply to his emails." "Rotten marriage led him to strippers."
Once again, would you really like this type of personal info about YOUR life aired here for all to see, read, and comment on?? I'd be sorry if I were you scat, but then again...I never want to be you, period.