Approaching Dancers

44 comments

• Puddy_Tat

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  6 months ago

  Walk up to them and say hello.
• sinclair

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  6 months ago

  Eye contact works. As long as they are not some introverted Gen Z-er, they should get the point and walk over to you. The same goes for a bartender when you want another drink.
• Hank Moody

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  6 months ago

  It’s not a bar. As long as you’re not (excessively) creepy or smelly they want your attention (money). Walk up, say hello I’m Nick and ask if they are busy. It usually just takes one non yes/no question to get a conversation started. Hint: this is the same in the real world, except strippers are already willing to engage with you unless they are having a shitty day for some other reason. Just saying hello and engaging in any way will work 95% of the time. It’s not rocket science.
• Dolfan

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  6 months ago

  "Hello, would you like to come sit with me for a bit?" Is usually pretty effective. Or offer to buy them a drink. In some situations you may have to jump right to buying a dance or two, then invite her to come sit with you after. You can try to make eye contact and smile or gesture, but she may not get the hint. And it's quite easy to come off creepy that way. You can also wait till she goes on stage and approach then, but that can take a while and it's easy for someone else to grab her in the meantime.
• wallanon

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  6 months ago

  Learn how to smile without looking like Jack Nicholson in the Shining and you'll do fine.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  6 months ago

  Just introduce yourself. Dancers make more money when they don't reject guys who want to talk to them. That said, I love customers who aren't willing to approach hot dancers, because I am.
• Techman

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  6 months ago

  I'm too old to waste time. I ask for what I want.
• shadowcat

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  6 months ago

  "wanna fuck" is a good conversation starter.
• Jascoi

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  6 months ago

  My charm didn't do it with the ladyboy that was walking toward me in front of my hotel.
• Jascoi

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  6 months ago

  ha!
• ilbbaicnl

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  6 months ago

  To avoid a strong sex trafficking vibe, we need to accept that strippers have as much right to be selective about customers, as customers do about strippers. Approach as you would anyone else in a bar. Don't interrupt her if she's talking. If she doesn't stop talking withing about 30 seconds of you approaching, assume you are not selected, move on. Otherwise, when she not talking, say hi. If she doesn't respond, assume you are not selected, move on. If she doesn't politely decline to give you a dance, you could complain to the manager. Bit if the manager tries to oblige her to dance for you when she doesn't want to, leave the club, and warn us all to never go there.
• Hank Moody

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  6 months ago

  ^ I disagree with everything ILBB said here.
• ilbbaicnl

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  6 months ago

  Skip the club, Hank can give you the numbers of the pimps he has on speed dial.
• funonthaside

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  6 months ago

  All good advice. To test them to an extent, though, I will make eye contact while walking past, and smile. If she reciprocates, I initiate conversation. Otherwise, I consider that I saved myself from a disappointing experience. I believe we can all agree that an experience with a dancer is best when there is some chemistry and she is not otherwise engaged in activity/discussion/thought. Someone on her sometimes writes, "I'll pay for sex, I'll beg for sex, but I won't beg to pay for sex". In summary, as many others have stated, smile and introduce yourself....it will progress from there. If you're too shy to do that, it's better to learn and practice in strip clubs to perfect your game before moving onto the major league of civvie bars.
• ilbbaicnl

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  6 months ago

  Strippers often tell me they get guff for coming up to customers "too soon" or when they "just got here". Or, they get hostile rejections for other reasons. Some customers expect them to know they're not the customer's type somehow, and to stay away. Ironically, the strippers who dislike customers the most often seem to be the most friendly. They don't care if someone they consider to be a complete dweeb rejects them.
• dr_lee

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  6 months ago

  I just go up to the dancer and ask her if she’s available to give me some dances. I prefer it if she’s by herself. For some reason, I like it when they’re standing rather than sitting, just seems like when they’re standing somewhere (against a wall, at the bar), I’m quicker to approach them.
• chugwa

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  6 months ago

  If you're really shy you can tip a waitress to tall to her or ask another dancer.
• WiseToo

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  6 months ago

  If they are talking to each other at the bar just walk up and see if she acknowledges your presence or pretends you are invisible. If she keeps talking, you keep walking. If she is sitting by herself ask her if you could join her for a few minutes. If she gets up and walks away, think positive. You now have a good seat.
• drewcareypnw

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  6 months ago

  1. Eye contact - they scan for this. 2. Ask the waitress if they can send the girl over. 3. Ask the next “wanna dance” if she’d send the girl over. 4. Walk up and say hi (a tad awkward). Or just unzip, let your dick out and troll around the club a couple of times. You’re sure to get a bite!
• funonthaside

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  6 months ago

  Girls LOVE when you say "nah...not with you, but could you run an errand for me and send over another girl?". Try it ... let us know how it works out for you. :-) Strip clubs don't require much effort. In many cases, all you really need to do is make eye contact, smile, and tip during her set. Unless she already has a bite/regular, you will be her target when she gets off stage. There is not much value in trying to compete with other guys. If she has a regular in the house, you won't easily pull her away, and if you do, she will be anxious to get back to where she really wants to be, so you experience will be poor.
• wallanon

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  6 months ago

  "Girls LOVE when you say "nah...not with you, but could you run an errand for me and send over another girl?". Try it ... let us know how it works out for you. :-)" This happened the other night. Went to a club looking for a dancer I used to know when she was a baby stripper who's back in town. When I finally spotted her I was too far away to casually get her attention, so the dancer sitting with me offered to get her in the locker room. And there wasn't even a fight lol. It's so much better when I don't have to ask.
• Dolfan

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  6 months ago

  Funny how some people have almost the exactly opposite approach.
• twentyfive

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  6 months ago

  I’m usually the type that prefers to approach, occasionally I might ask a waitress or bartender to send over a girl who’s sitting with someone, but the most common way for me is to just wait for her stage call then tip generously and ask her to come hang with me for a bit. Being polite and friendly always helps as well as acting proactively.
• stripperlover777

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  6 months ago

  I Would Just Look @ The Stage, Have Somethin' To Eat, & Chill. I'm Always Up For Just Hanging' In If A Dancer Does't Approach Me. That's More Free Time For Me Coz I'm Older, & Already Did Everything & Went Through The Ropes. I Like Strip Club Atmosphere & If A Girl Don't Want My 💲Dollars, Then That's Throwin' Me Chillout Time ✔️ 💲 🎵 🎶
• Manuellabore

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  6 months ago

  I establish eye contact, hold it long enough to smile and nod, then sit and wait. If that doesn't do anything, I'm not approaching. It is a hospitality business and that dancer has no reason to believe my money isn't as green as anybody else's. If eye contact, smiling and nodding isn't getting it done, then it is time to leave Club Desire and head over to Club Fantasies.
• georgmicrodong

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  6 months ago

  @C.M.I: "That said, I love customers who aren't willing to approach hot dancers, because I am." This whole thing, right here. It is unbelievable to me how many guys will just sit there and not approach the girls sitting around. Yes, one can argue that it's their job to sell, and sitting around isn't the best way to do that, but if I didn't approach dancers I would not have met my first ATF, nor my current sugar baby. I would not have met the woman who has since become one of my best friends. The Elle Fanning look-alike would never have rocked my world for the two weeks she was in town dancing. I would not have met first dancer who ever had sex with me in North Carolina. My two current favorites would be complete strangers. And most importantly, I would not have met my eventual ATF, the one who will always wear that crown. I in no way regret approaching reticent dancers, even if not all of them have turned out as well as these.
• JamesSD

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  6 months ago

  I'll admit I'm reluctant to do this simply because it's weird for me if she's physically what I like but after talking to her my interest crashes and I have to dismiss her. It's probably overly passive of me, but sometimes I'll do the move girls do in bars where I'll walk past, make eye contact and smile, then keep going and see if she stops me.
• drewcareypnw

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  6 months ago

  @fun: "Girls LOVE when you say "nah...not with you, but could you run an errand for me and send over another girl?". Try it ... let us know how it works out for you. :-)" If you said it that way your results would be poor. However, if you say what I say, which is "actually I am waiting for Stormy", or "I am waiting for that blonde woman over there", 4/5 times they offer to go get her. Esp if you are a regular and buy dances from a few different girls when you stop into the club. They're happy to help. At least, they are happy to help me when I do this. However, the dick trolling move is still technically superior.
• uniquename

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  5 months ago

  Drew (above) is right. Case in point - the last time I went to DDTR, I was looking to meet up with Sandy, and asked if she was in yet. The girl I asked went into the back room and brought out Stevie, who I hadn’t seen in years. A brief conversation in which we re-established our bonafides (“I recognize you, and if you’re looking for Sandy, we both know why you’re here” or words to that effect) and we were off to the races. Or you can dick troll. But not when it’s cold out.
• drewcareypnw

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  5 months ago

  ^ sensible.
• 5footguy

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  5 months ago

  In all cases you should be feeling confident and not worried about anything. Your attitude should be that she feels grateful that you decided to make the trip and come talk to her. If you are nervous, don't approach and take your chances that someone comes and talks to you. Nothing kills confidence by bringing low confidence and having a subpar exchange. Note that having confidence will NOT come across as being a dick. Being a dick is more indicative that you DON'T have confidence. Be relaxed, not worrying about the outcome of the interaction. If she's by herself, do as has been suggested and make eye contact, a friendly enough face, and motion her to come to you. This puts her more on your turf (I know, the whole place is her turf, but work with me) and immediately establishes a bit of dominance that she had to move to get to you. If she instead motions for you to come over, you might play a little cat and mouse and with a smile insist that she comes over. If she won't budge, go over to her, and you already this little interaction to laugh about. If she's in a group (3 or more) try confidently approaching the whole group. It is a power move because for a guy to approach a group of girls (especially when they are talking) even in this setting takes confidence. To increase the odds, I recommend making eye contact and establishing some interest in the girl you want to talk to BEFORE approaching. The energy you should bring is that you can imagine each girl thinking, "I hope he's coming to talk to me." If there's any hint of fear, they will smell it, and you will start to feel like none of them want to talk to you. Danger! So, bring your A game, and a warm feeling, or don't do this. Do not be "hard", be warm but strong. If there's room to sit and you're able to do so gracefully (the seat is within reach, not having to walk over girls to get to it, for example), actually sit down. This is again a bold move that, if executed correctly, showcases your confidence. You can ask how everyone is doing. Make eye contact with the one you want to talk to. With a friendly face and an easy motion, say in an inviting way "hey, come sit with me" or "let's go sit over there". You're not demanding, because you're warm and friendly, but you're not giving her an easy out of "no" by asking her. If she has a regular coming, is waiting for someone, or brushes you off some other way, be prepared with a confident "maybe another time" as you (confidently, NOT feeling dejected) walk away. I can sense some of you rolling your eyes, but I'm trying to explain mechanically what should be done instinctively. At first you may have to think about it, but do it a few times and it will become second nature. This is not a "look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're a winner" kind of bull shit. This is truly developing confidence that you don't give a fuck about the outcome. You'd like her to respond positively, but you recognize that's not always the reality and so you're fully ok with just moving on to something or someone else.
• Context22

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  5 months ago

  I second making eye contact and giving them a smile. Same goes for during the dancers stage performance.
• twentyfive

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  5 months ago

  Hey guys you’re overthinking this your a guy you’re in a strip club, if you have a couple of bucks that’s what she wants Sheesh talk about a grown man being intimidated by a young woman in her underwear.
• Hank Moody

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  5 months ago

  5footguy Delete that last paragraph and that would’ve been next level satire.
• ilbbaicnl

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  5 months ago

  I agree with drew that it's very common for a stripper to enthusiastically tell another stripper you are wanting a dance with her. With the expectation that the other stripper will do the same when the tables are turned. But of course, be polite. "Thanks, but I was hoping to get a dance with that dancer with her left eyebrow shave off." Something like that. Very common that dancers, if you turn them down, will then offer assistance to help you get the dance you want. If you get a server to get a stripper for you, that's likely an extra tip the stripper will have to give at tip-out. The stripper probably won't mind, but it seems more considerate to not cut into somebody's take home money.
• 5footguy

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  5 months ago

  @Hank That last paragraph was for people like you. You have so much confidence, no doubt, that it's seeping out of your pores. OTOH, the OP does not, or he wouldn't be asking a question like "how do you talk to girls?" For people at this stage, it can be helpful to have something other than "just smile" as a plan. "Just go talk to them" is the right answer, but you don't think the OP has already thought of that?
• Hank Moody

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  5 months ago

  Ugh. It’s been said before but apparently needs to be repeated. Strip clubs are not bars where confidence and good looks matter. The strippers are working at their job. Approaching a stripper in a strip club is no different than going to the counter at Dunkin and ordering a coffee. If you don’t see this, you are only making things harder than they actually are.
• ilbbaicnl

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  5 months ago

  A baby PL might not know it's not a breach of norms to approach a dancer, since it's more common that the dancer does the rolling up.
• funonthaside

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  5 months ago

  Hank's assertion is correct that looks and confidence don't matter. However. Some PLs have not yet reached the idgaf phase of not caring whether a girl rejects us. To younger PLs, a rejection by a stripper is not much different than rejection at a civvie bar. To us older PLs, though, it's money saved for the next girl. It's particularly true when a PL and stripper are similar ages. Also, I imagine there are people who get intimidated by the coffee shop cashier.
• Dolfan

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  5 months ago

  We're certainly over complicating this, but even knowing that it would probably help if OP articulated his concerns with simply walking up with a simple greeting. Is he concerned about disturbing the girl? Is he concerned about his feelings after potentially getting rejected? Is he concerned about violating some unwritten rule of strip club etiquette? Is he concerned about some "balance of power" being altered because he approached her? etc. Knowing specifically what the concerns are would help to be able to address them, either with specific suggestions or by explaining why those concerns may not be applicable in this situation.
• 5footguy

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  5 months ago

  "Strip clubs are not bars where confidence and good looks matter. ... no different than going to the counter at Dunkin and ordering a coffee" To state the obvious: after you order the coffee, she does not get on her knees and suck you off. Sorry, the business of sex is different than the business of coffee. She might give that lap dance, shift the little stick, or fuck that fat/ugly/insecure ass. But deep down you know she would rather be chewing glass than pretending to enjoy it. People who say "looks don't matter" need to say it, to convince themselves that such an absurd statement is true (often because they are very unattractive, or very beautiful, either way it's a delusion). Attractive people get paid more money than less attractive counterparts across industries. If looks matter for a job interview, why the hell would you think they don't matter when two humans are coming together for sex itself, or at least acts based on sex? You can't erase or suppress hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary biology which are hard-wired into her body and brain. Read the literature and you'll see that very generally speaking, attractiveness implies health and fitness implies survival and is associated with fertility. In our modern day, money and success imply security, so confidence stemming from finances can be a huge factor as well.
• Hank Moody

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  5 months ago

  You’ve completely missed the point, but it seems like you’re enjoying it. You do you.
• 5footguy

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  5 months ago

  Your main point was that you don't need confidence or attractiveness to "succeed" in this, which involves approaching and talking to girls. So to the OP, you're saying don't worry about anything, just go talk to them. I don't disagree with that. But I then laid out more details that I thought he might find helpful, since his question indicated a big hesitance to even approach women, and you basically gave the middle finger to that. We don't have to agree on all details, and as you said, I'll do me, you do you, and everyone's happy.
• BGSD3100

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  5 months ago

  For me, being approached is part of the fantasy. I will go up to a specific dancer if that's who I have 100% decided on that visit. But if I am open to anyone, then usually it's the dancer that approaches me first that gets my money.