compartmentilization?

Dancers do a lot of mental gymnastics to work in a strip club. Some more than others. Customers are also not strangers to the same phenomenon. Some more than others.

I've had good OTC experiences with dancers who initially led me to believe that only the worst dancers would ever do OTC. I wouldn't take it as a red flag really.

Similar to C.M.I, three of my four absolute best OTC experiences in recent years have been with dancers who would do little or nothing ITC. Not only that, it took at least six months to get them out. The most recent one took 3 years. On the other side, some of my worst were with dancers whose menu was wide open, and performed *well*, ITC. Flaky as fuck, clock watchers, nothing beyond straight sex and go.

ITC: business.

OTC: whoring.

Seem legit.

Like the others, I don't read much into it.

The line at which girls draw the line between what's "perfectly acceptable sex work" and "dirty whore tactics" varies greatly. It's almost never straight or true parallel/perpendicular either. And as others have mentioned, it quite often moves over time, as as relationships evolve, and/or as circumstances change.

You could compare it to driving 90 down the freeway when somebody passes you going 100. You think to yourself, look at that crazy driver.

Nearly every stripper compartmentalizes and justifies.

"I only give hand jobs" or "I only make guys cum with their pants still on" are classics. They can draw a line between themselves and prostitution that just happens to fall right past what they do.

Stripper shit in fact all stripper shit. Sometimes however, the shit is just her convincing herself instead of you.

These bitches suck and fuck for cash lmfao it's all the same shit

You see this a lot in the SB-SD world. The SB justifies she is not a prostitute because she is taking money for going out for dinner and drinks and not the hotel fun that inevitably happens afterwards. She rationalizes she is not a whore because she is only choosing to sleep with guys above a certain income, not all guys. The SD justifies he is not a john because he took the SB out on a coffee date before they had sex.

The interesting thing I find is that I have been with a girl ITC who claims her bf cheated on her, but she never cheated? WTF?

It’s human nature to compartmentalize your brain. PLs and sex workers are no different in that they chose to partake in this industry as the only differentiator.

@rtp: exactly

Drew I sent you a pm

Married guys do the same thing… ITC = fun night out at the strip club, but OTC = cheating on your wife.

I've had great ITC experiences with dancers who believe that it's only the sick debased male customers who expect similar experiences OTC, e.g. I'll grind on you and play with your stick shift ITC , but you are a sicko if you expect the same OTC. It's like girls who think they are actresses giving a bj for money in a porn movie, but think they would be prostitutes giving a bj for money otherwise. Don't take it as a red flag.

Yeah I had a FWB who was a very compartmentalized sugar baby. It was definitely more then traditional model where these guys would take her out for sushi, take her shopping then take her back to a hotel room. No cash was ever exchanged, but she wouldn't have been fucking these guys if they didn't buy her things.

In her mind it wasn't sex work.

In addition to emotional reactions to stigma…

Some consider meeting up with somebody and potentially exposing their vehicle license plate, ID (if buying drinks), or other random things as too risky for safety reasons.

Some consider doing too much in the club activities either in a club where
A) that may be frowned on, and cause problem with other dancers or staff members
OR
B) a club that is high volume enough and nobody cares, but then thanks to sites like here, or especially on the likes of USA Sex Guide, will attract clientele who are more likely to be determined to out their personal business for the whole internet to read….and consider that too risky for safety reasons.

Suppose you went to a Chevy dealership, and the salesperson started talking shit about Toyotas. Would you be surprised? Would you consider it hypocrisy because they're all selling cars? Sex work has many risks, like PL violence, arbitrary firing, and being ostracized. Strippers have differing opinions about how to minimize the risks. If you want X, and her opinion is that X is too risky, then yes, she will talk shit about X and those who do it.

There are certainly some mental gymnastics that come into play in sex work but also generally in human nature. We all rationalize our behaviors at times.

Spice and ilb make good points. The reasons dancers say what they say (or don’t) , do what they do (or don’t) are probably not even on my radar screen. So I’ve learned I’m best off noting what I’ve heard but also trying to hard to interpret what’s said.

Not trying too hard

Never under-estimate a woman's ability to rationalize her own behavior. 😆

I've had countless strippers and SBs tell me that they are not prostitutes, some while we were in bed at the hotel and others shortly before the hotel visit. Each time I gave her the most serious look I could muster and responded in a matter-of-fact voice: "Of course not. If I thought you were, I wouldn't be out with you right now." 😉

Beyond the SBs I mentioned above, there are thousands in the U.S. on any given day who convince themselves that they are not whores because they go to dinner first, notwithstanding the inevitable hotel trip and backend cash payment. It is the genius of sites like seeking to give them just enough of a fig leaf to feel decent about what they're doing.

Even my ATF, back in the day, once muttered "She's a whore" in disgust when she saw another dancer walk by. This was 45 minutes before I was fucking her in the backseat of my SUV because the local hotel was sold out, lol.

IME the key is to be ready when they start having doubts and look to you for affirmation. Making sure that she believes that you agree with her rationalization, er, I mean her thinking on the matter, can very well mean the difference between a fun night of sloppy barnyard sex or going home emptyhanded. 😊

@rick, I've seen slutty civvie women do the same thing. One who got passed around more than a bong at a hippie party said "I'm not a slut because I never bang two different guys in the same day." I just nodded my head.

If you have to rationalize or get defensive, you know deep down what you are.