Second chance for a dancer
If you had a bad experience would you give a dancer a second chance? I normally do not but I am thinking about it.
I asked for a dance from a very attractive dancer who had a good personality. Dance was great. Problem was she went long according to her on the dance. She said she did 3 but she never asked me for more and the time was not that much either. I said I liked her and would pay 2 if she really insisted but she again would only take 3. I didn't want to make a big thing of it at a club I got to often so I caved in and gave her 3 but said I wouldn't get dances from her again.
Do you think I was to harsh? Should I try again and make it very clear she has to ask for another dance or was I right?
I asked for a dance from a very attractive dancer who had a good personality. Dance was great. Problem was she went long according to her on the dance. She said she did 3 but she never asked me for more and the time was not that much either. I said I liked her and would pay 2 if she really insisted but she again would only take 3. I didn't want to make a big thing of it at a club I got to often so I caved in and gave her 3 but said I wouldn't get dances from her again.
Do you think I was to harsh? Should I try again and make it very clear she has to ask for another dance or was I right?
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Saying she did more dances than she did = ROB = I wouldn't give her the time of day.
I usually get 2 dances with a new dancer to see her moves and energy. If I'm not a fan of either, I'm unlikely to go back.
Almost every stripper will take advantage of you if you let it happen, but when you show her that you are experienced and on top of your game, she will know not to try it with you.
That said, if you’ve had a bad experience why go back to the same dancer? There’s plenty more and she’ll presume you are an easy target, which will be a hassle to reset.
Best to move on.
I have been uncertain of the count before, in those situations I typically will just pay if it's reasonable. And if she's hot enough and the dance was decent, I'd probably give her a second chance but pay attention and leave zero room for uncertainty.
It really comes down to how confident you are in what happened and her intentions. If there's a decent chance she made an honest mistake, or you did, consider giving her a second chance. In the grand scheme of things the cost of a couple dances is no big deal. But if you're confident she's intentionally overcharging via deceptive practices, then move on. Don't support that behavior and don't subject yourself to it.
If you go back to her in this case, chances are she'll do the same, thinking she can get away with it.
So the wise customer always remembers the principle of caveat emptor.
My question is more asking if you think this person is a rob or this was a true misunderstanding that can be fixed.
If you want to give it another shot, then before you go in ask her to let you know when one song ends and the next begins. If she won't do that, then go find another dancer.
You're absolutely right, the dancer SHOULD be keeping track. But we all know that some dancers do what they can get away with, for example the dancer in question here. You have to decide if she's running the show or you are, and there are obvious tradeoffs with each choice. As you have seen firsthand.
I will play along and comment on your discussion.
If you already told her and I quote:
“but said I wouldn't get dances from her again.”
Then be a man of your word and don’t go to her and ask her for dances anymore.
But if she comes to you and ask you if you want a dance tell her smiling; “only if we have an independent counting system, I think there is an app for that”
If she gets the joke and says something about how you and her can keep good track of the dances, then laugh it out and give her a second chance.
I personally have a two strikes and you are out policy that I do apply with no exceptions, regardless of how hot she is.
You're also wrong. If you don't know how many dances she did, you did the right thing by paying her for 3. Sometimes I'm in a club that's usually ok but the DJ on shift will go crazy and keep cutting songs off at 2 minutes. I'll let it go once, but if the next song is short I'll call it and tell the dancer why. If I know I got distracted and have to ask for the count, unless it sounds way higher I'll go with her number.
To your original "Do you think I was to harsh?"
Unless you yelled at her, it sounds like you just agreed to disagree. If you two just met she got her money and it's probably not a big deal. But you said her dances were "great", so maybe it's worth another go where you're on top of the song count.
"Should I try again and make it very clear she has to ask for another dance or was I right?"
Try talking about it like it's not a big deal and see if she'll go for it. But if you make it seem like you're high maintenance it could affect the quality of your dances.
I think that is wishful-thinking on your-part – my experience w/ 100s of clubs in different cities has been the opposite in that 99%-of-the-time the dancer won’t tell you when she’s starting a new-song – dancers will try and get as many songs from a custy as possible and letting the songs go one-after-the-other is the best way to get the most-money from custies – your analogy of being at a bar, or that dancers shouldn’t rip-off custies b/c they lose repeat-business, is again wishful-thinking and you’re projecting how things-should-be vs the reality of the vast-majority-of-clubs – getting ripped-off in strip-clubs is as common as g-strings in strip-clubs – no-one in a strip-club will look out for you or your best-interest; it’s up to the custy to know what the fuck he is doing analogous to when one goes to buy a car (are you gonna expect for the salesperson, or dealer, to look out for you and “do the right thing?”) – at the end of the day strippers are salespeople that don’t make money unless they sell-dances and they will try and sell as many as they can including cheating custies; o/w they run the risk of going-home w/ little-money or even in-the-red.
If that has worked for you, great. But, there are enough stories on here about dancers miscounting (intentionally or not) that it's not remotely realistic to think that it will apply in every club and every situation. I'm responsible for my money. In a strip club, where there's generally more chaos and fewer ethics, that applies double. If a dancer turns out to be good about keeping count (and most are), then I appreciate that but I remain vigilant.
As a custy, it’s very-easy to get distracted as lose-count-of-the-songs (and many over-counting-dancers count on this; as well as most-custies being inexperienced and “ripe-for-the-picking”) – also as has been posted; in many clubs the DJs either:
a) mix the songs together to where it can be hard to detect song breaks and the custy thinks he’s still on the first song
b) cut songs short (when a custy is not getting dances; then he often doesn’t notice the songs lengths)
c) some clubs play songs of varying lengths (seemingly on purpose) – and songs can be anywhere from 2 to 3.5 minutes long
I’ve been over-counted in the past; and as others have posted, since I wasn’t 100%-sure: I went ahead and paid (unless it was egregious; e.g. I thought we did 2 and she tells me we did 6; some dancers don’t give a fuck and will actually do shit like this; count on it).
After a couple of over-counting experiences; I was not gonna let it happen again; thus I:
1) tell the dancer upfront b/f we start to let me know everytime she starts a new-song – this usually eliminates almost-all-over-counters – but like I said; there are dancers that plain-and-simple don’t give a fuck and even when I ask them to let me know everytime they start a new song; they either stop doing it after the 2nd-song claiming “they forgot”; or they still over-count (e.g. they do song no. 3 and the next-one they’ll tell me it’s song no. 5 or even no. 6; it’s happened)
2) since no. 1 above isn’t foolproof – I will usually also use my cellphone stopwatch to keep track – i.e. if songs in the club are on avg 3-minutes for example; when I start my dances I’ll kickoff my cellphone-stopwatch and if I did dances for let’s say 10-minutes or so then I’m sure I did 3-songs
After I started doing the above I never paid an over-counter again – it def sucks to have to do what I do vs just sitting back and enjoying my dances; but due to my-style-of-SCing I tend to run into more over-counting issues and for me I rather take some upfront precautions vs paying for songs/dances she didn’t give me.
as to giving the girl another try, I had a new girl in a lap dance situation that was really unsatisfactory and then about a half a year later I had the most excellent time with her!
If it was somebody who has like that one club option only for a few hours idk that’s a rough spot
I understand that when giving dances a dancer should always let you know when the next dance is starting - and the dancer should keep an accurate count. However, it’s imperative (in order to avoid ROBs and dance count errors) that the customer is well aware of the dance count too. Those discrepancies can kill the experience of a great dance.
If the dancer asked me if I wanted dances on a return club visit, I would say no thank you. I wouldn’t be rude, but I wouldn’t lead her on (to think I might buy dances).
My view is different, as a one dance discrepancy in count won’t bother me. If my pants are around my ankles and she’s working me hard, I’m not going to stop and dispute it.