A girl asking who else I played around with

rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
I really dislike this. Last night a girl who I've seen OTC a handful of times asked me who else I played with in another club that she used to dance in. I've known her for years and I was once a regular in that club until they converted to an urban format.

I told her that I don't talk about what I do with anyone else. When she pressed me, I said the same thing again and added "and you of all people should be grateful for that."

When she pressed, she made the point that most of those girls are no longer dancing anyway, but to me that doesn't matter. It's just not in my DNA to betray a confidence. Also a lot of these girls are still living in the community and have new lives to protect, including families and vanilla jobs. I won't be a source of gossip fodder about anyone, most especially about a girl who spent time in the sack with me.

WTF was this girl thinking? And to be clear, she was not testing me, she was legitimately curious. Did she not understand that a guy who will run his mouth about other girls would do the same about her with someone else? She should have known better.

57 comments

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Warrior15
2 years ago
I wouldn't answer that question either.
wallanon
2 years ago
All these questions sound rhetorical. I've only had girls ask me specifically about other girls by name, not a blanket question. The last time I got asked a question about another dancer I didn't even answer it and all hell still broke loose lol. I try to stay in the same dancer cliques because it makes all of that easier to manage.
twentyfive
2 years ago
She obviously had an axe to grind, and no I wouldn't give up any information like that either
Thick-5-Incher
2 years ago
Don't give in to these bitches --- they are only looking to burn you down the line
rickdugan
2 years ago
===> "I've only had girls ask me specifically about other girls by name, not a blanket question."

Same here actually. I think 25 is right - she was digging for dirt and hoping that I'd name someone who she could use it against.
CJKent_band
2 years ago
You should make it clear to the “asking girl”…

“A true gentleman does not kiss and tells.”

A true gentleman never tells about conquests, private matters, or dealings.

His business is nobody else's.

The undeniable reality is the fact that you and you alone are the best and only person to keep your own secrets really secret.

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”…

:D

Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
I've had this happen occasionally. Sometimes it's solely curiosity (I think) and sometimes more motivated by gossip.

I had one dancer tell me that she asks to get a sense of what kind of experience a customer will want from her as an untried dancer (most likely in terms of extras but perhaps beyond that). She said that she has a pretty good idea of how other dancers operate, so that's her guide post.

When I told her to "Just ask the question.", she said that many customers don't want to say what they want out loud for reasons ranging from shame, fear of LE, and wanting to keep the fantasy intact.

For the vast majority of customers who don't spend a lot of time on a titty bar message board, I can see that reluctance to be blunt being a real thing. So, I'm somewhat sympathetic to the dancer.

That said, I also never talk about what happens between me and another dancer. I certainly don't talk pricing (which I've also been asked about).
Champphilly
2 years ago
Rick, I do not think she is going to misuse that other OTC dancer info. May be trying find your class, did you date cheap ones or high value premium class ones.?
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
You will never know if someone is going to misuse information that you give to them until you give it to them and they misuse it. This is double true when it's a person you really don't know well.

That's why when a dancer asks I say, "I don't talk about other dancers (and you're welcome)."
wallanon
2 years ago
"I do not think she is going to misuse that other OTC dancer info."

This is such an incredibly bad take. I try not to criticize, but it's important that nobody ever sees this and thinks it's ok. Lol, it's not ok to tell someone who wants as much of your money as possible (even if she likes you) anything they can potentially use against someone else.

Unless you're an uber-asshole your P4P girls probably won't turn on you directly because they've got something to lose, but don't think for a moment they wouldn't poison every other well if they believe they'll get away with it.
georgmicrodong
2 years ago
@Call.Me.Ishmael: "When I told her to "Just ask the question.", she said that many customers don't want to say what they want out loud for reasons ranging from shame, fear of LE, and wanting to keep the fantasy intact."

I get the shame, and maybe the fantasy, but the fear of LE doesn't make any traction with me. To me, the probability that a cop is going to undress for strangers in order to trap a john seems low, as in approaching zero, when it's much easier to simply rent a hotel room and do the sting there. In fact, while I've heard of plenty of undercovers propositioning dancers to get the club in trouble, especially since they can soak the club for way more vig than an individual, I've never once heard of a cop working as a stripper for the purpose of arresting customers. Note that last clause before you reply saying you've know copy strippers.

@ChampPhilly: "Rick, I do not think she is going to misuse that other OTC dancer info. May be trying find your class, did you date cheap ones or high value premium class ones.?"

You're as clueless as BigThirdEye. I wonder why that would be...?

@rick, my favorite response to that kind of question is "how would you feel if I told someone you don't know how I pay you to swallow my nut?"
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
George... I agree. The fear of the undercover cop or stripper "wearing a wire" is kooky at best. But again, most customers aren't going as often as the average TUSCL user, nor are they as knowledgeable about how the cops in most regions handle these things.

So, for a lot of guys who don't know any better the fear of LE is valid.
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
Well, it's not valid, but it's why they won't just tell dancers what they want.
Champphilly
2 years ago
If suppose he randomly gives couple of names those are not dancing there anymore. There is no proof for someone verbally saying he dated someone. No proof at all. Many times some dancers bad mouthed about some other dancer working in the same shift, I never care those king of shit.
georgmicrodong
2 years ago
@ChampPhilly: "If suppose he randomly gives couple of names those are not dancing there anymore. There is no proof for someone verbally saying he dated someone. No proof at all."

Clueless AND no integrity. What a combo...
georgmicrodong
2 years ago
@C.M.I: "Well, it's not valid, but it's why they won't just tell dancers what they want."

That's a fair point. I've opined before that I think, based on what I've observed, that regular TUSCL posters are not even close to representative of the majority of club-goers, with regard to extras seeking anyway, so for those people, I suppose I can see that. It does, however, surprise me that a few moment's thought on the subject wouldn't show how unlikely it is.
Champphilly
2 years ago
GMD, I am not clueless. I know sharing these info wrong and I won’t. But you all talking about misuse, but what about misinformation?
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
George said "It does, however, surprise me that a few moment's thought on the subject wouldn't show how unlikely it is."

It doesn't surprise me. I mean, look at some of the in-club decisions made by guys here who should know better.

And that has included me on a few rare occasions.
rickdugan
2 years ago
===> "Rick, I do not think she is going to misuse that other OTC dancer info. May be trying find your class..."

So ChumpPhilly, it's your belief that the classy thing to do here would have been to run my mouth about the private activities of other dancers? Interesting. 😏

But ok, if you don't think that she was going to misuse the information, then please share a positive and supportive reason for her asking for that intel. I'd be fascinated to hear your alternative theories. 😆
VanessaM
2 years ago
I don’t think I ever cared to ask a customer this

But I’ve had customers tell me about other dancers in hopes to try to get me to step my game up n be jealous

Nope I’m still a bitch n they are still seeing me.
The only thing that happened is now I think their a gullible idiot
Champphilly
2 years ago
Ok mr. Jerkdugan. Is very simple. If she aware your other heroic adventures, she may feel more comfortable.
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
The easiest solution here is to not talk to dancers about what you do with other dancers (whether it be misinformation or genuine).

The vast majority of dancers and customers have to reach some kind of comfort zone without providing "references". It's not hard to do. Chat a bit and engage in banter. Buy a couple of drinks. Maybe do a few test lapdances. Learn to talk about what you want without being creepy.

Honestly, a hefty selection of guys in most clubs have middling hygiene and the social graces of a road accident, and even they manage to land the plane on the runway most of the time.

So, be a little better than that guy and don't drop dimes on other dancers. It's not a heavy lift.
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
That is crazy to me. It almost sounds like she is jealous- which is weird for paid transactions.
Muddy
2 years ago
Yeah I get this a lot. It might be for STD type probing how many girls has THIS guy slept with kinda thing.
wallanon
2 years ago
"It almost sounds like she is jealous- which is weird for paid transactions."

Don't take this the wrong way, but if a guy can legit make a girl cum eventually shit gets weird if he does it enough. Paid or not.
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
Georg you’re speaking nonsense.
Also the risk isn’t about a cop dressing up as a stripper undercover, there is quite literally the fact that if you tell a stripper about otc activities with another stripper or an escort, she can both use that against you, or against that dancer. If there was some issue with her, she could try to get you in legal trouble via reporting you for solicitation or prostitution. She could possibly try to get other dancers in trouble.
Cashman1234
2 years ago
Rick, I agree with you. I wouldn’t share information on my other otc encounters either. If a girl presses me for information, I still won’t provide it. There is no good to come from sharing this type of information.
rockie
2 years ago
Many dancer's love to talk smack about their competition and other customers! I have to dislike someone and also been done wrong by a person to participate in such a conversation. I've been served well by this choice over time!
Dolfan
2 years ago
I've had this sort of thing come up several times before, surprisingly often actually. My response is pretty similar to yours, although sometimes I the congressional "I don't recall" over and over or "I don't kiss and tell." The net effect is the same, I'm not spilling. I thought about adding it to your lines that aren't crossed thread a while back. I've had stripper-friends of girls I've had over ask if their friend had been over recently or if she'd been over on a specific day. My response is the same, even when I know with near certainty that her friend will tell her all the details if she asks her. I've had girls over together and had one ask about things that happened after they left, same response. Same thing ITC too, I don't care if she literally watched me go back with another girl, I'm gonna say "I don't recall" if asked.

Most girls get it, and after a moment of reflection they appreciate it. But there has been far too many who don't seem to. I don't know if they feel like we have a special relationship, or that somehow I owe it to them, or if it is jealousy or an axe to grind, or STD fears, or what. I just know I'm not participating.

Girls who don't seem to get that I ain't gonna talk about it, or more importantly why I won't, are ones I rarely continue to see. I'll look past a single instance of pressing the issue, but if it keeps coming up, I'm done with her. I'm fully aware few dancers are as discreet as I am in this regard, especially in clubs where ITC is common and OTC girls aren't whore-shamed. But I still don't see any reason to tell one what I did with the other. They should be able to surmise how much I get around or with whom I associate by observing ITC, there's no need for details.
georgmicrodong
2 years ago
@BigBlindEye: "Also the risk isn’t about a cop dressing up as a stripper undercover, there is quite literally the fact that if you tell a stripper about otc activities with another stripper or an escort, she can both use that against you, or against that dancer."

No shit, Sherlock.
Champphilly
2 years ago
May be she might felt she is not getting enough for her time, so she can cross check the donation with other dancer he played with?
Papi_Chulo
2 years ago
I’ve had this happen on occasion over-the-years, but def not a common-thing.

As has been posted in the past, dancers in clubs sometimes form cliques; or there is drama among some of them – so this can be part of it – also, some girls may be worried if a regular-of-hers is getting w/ a dancer(s) that may have an extra-bad-rep in the club in terms of her sexual-activities and perhaps the dancer asking may be concerned for herself.

Everyone subconsciously knows, or learns, that strip-clubs are to be treated as a “hear-no-evil see-no-evil” environments; but some dancers get extra-comfortable w/ regulars to where they feel they can do/say things they normally wouldn’t with a random-custy – also, at the end-of-the-day, one is dealing w/ women whom often don’t think/feel like the avg guy (not to mention they are in a different perhaps at times vulnerable situation being the service-provider).
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
Customers who have “Fear of LE” doesn’t mean they’re concerned about a stripper literally being an undercover cop... it could also be a concern over a stripper being an informant for a cop, which is also unlikely, but it could also just be a general fear of getting in trouble with LE if they find out. Lets say something goes south with the dancer or she gets offended you dont spend money on her, she could start trouble including LE trouble. There is a level of risk in asking about descriptive acts for money, but if you just word it as meeting OTC the risk should be minimal
Sgrayeff
2 years ago
Don't know what was going on in her mind, but ...

Some here might be over-thinking this. I know for sure that some girls want reassurance what they are going to do is okay. That doesn't mean I name names. I do tell stories, however. It helps to establish my own credentials.

Also, never forget that girls talk. They might know more about you than you realize. Several times I have had club girls recommend me to willing girlfriends. I remember one such creamy redhead in particular. Yum.
Electronman
2 years ago
Like others, I would never disclose private information, such as what I did with X dancer and at what price point. However, if might be interesting to know why she was asking these questions.

At an extras-friendly club, I once had a dancer ask me if I had ever had a "session" with a particular dancer who was working that night. I told her that I did not answer questions like that but I asked her why she wanted to know. She told me that this particular dancer had taken some time off to treat an STI and she wanted to avoid any customers who might have been infected by the other dancer. This was. in the context of negotiating whether a BJ would be BBBJ or CBJ.

I still didn't answer her question but her rationale for asking the question made more sense to me.
twentyfive
2 years ago
^ sounds like club drama
rickthelion
2 years ago
^
Good point 25-ape.

Like you and the dugan I never kiss and tell. Unless, of course, kissing and telling leads to wackiness that might amuse me. Club drama seldom leads to amusing wackiness…until it does. And that’s when this rick bends his rick rules. ROAR!!!
busta_nut
2 years ago
I have had dancers who I wanted to get to know tell me they were hesitant to hang out due to my association with other dancers were know "dirty dancers". Their theory was I would not be interested unless I was getting extras.
skibum609
2 years ago
I wouldn't even answer if the question was "who do you get dances with in the club"?
wallanon
2 years ago
"Their theory was I would not be interested unless I was getting extras."

I've had that happen sometimes. Usually they take money are are pleasantly surprised when I'm good with whatever entertainment they offer. But then there are some chicks who don't make their boundaries clear and think I'm disappointed if they don't put out everything. We know most dancers don't put out everything. That's why we find a girl or two at clubs we like who do it all, so we can just throw money away on the rest of you in case you change your mind. But kidding aside, it works better for everyone to just be clear. But not BEFORE the first dance starts because then you're just an annoying buzzkill dancer who doesn't want to make money lol.
rockie
2 years ago
I don't describe my dance interactions with one dancer to another dancer. When it suits (only) me to answer who I get dances from in a club - I might answer that question occasionally.
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
Wallanon you’re saying most dancers dont offer extras/full service?
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Rick bragging about an std and price check 🤡
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
^ Bait.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Cim go troll elsewhere. You're the only one baiting people here
blahblahblah23
2 years ago
Hmm I just don't understand the jealousy even if a guy makes her orgasm. There are so many dudes who can do that. If it is paid just get ur money and if the girl cums it is a bonus. Why the fuck would she feel jelly? What that he is cheating around on his wife with her? Dude she should be happy to be the other woman in this scenario, for real.
Cashman1234
2 years ago
Blah makes several good points in her comment. There is little chance that the girl is actually jealous.
Dolfan
2 years ago
The jealousy, when it happens, is often about the money. She's not jelly about the customer making some other girl cum instead of her, she's jelly about the fact that he's paying her instead.

Less commonly, there's a level of insecurity and self-worth that takes a hit and causes something similar to jealousy too. I've certainly seen it in girls before. Granted, I'm not in their heads and it could be an act, but I've absolutely seen signs in dancers of actual jealousy. The idea that someone might prefer the company of someone else over her causes jealousy. It doesn't mean she loves me or anything, I might be out of sight/out of mind the second I leave. But she'd prefer that she be the object of my attention (and my spending, obviously) while I'm there. Maybe it's an external locus of identity, maybe it's daddy or abandonment issues from childhood actually causing it, not any actual attraction to me. But that doesn't make the effect any less real.
rickdugan
2 years ago
There is zero chance that the girl is jealous. As I thought I made clear in my opening, the shit she's asking about is ancient history. I have no idea why she cares about who I was seeing OTC years ago.
rickdugan
2 years ago
===> "Why the fuck would she feel jelly? What that he is cheating around on his wife with her? Dude she should be happy to be the other woman in this scenario, for real."

Too funny blah. Though tbh I kind of expect this type of comment from silly baby strippers, not from a girl who has rubbed on so many dicks over the years that she's reached psycho burnout status. 😉

This industry would be a shadow of itself if it were not for wandering spouses and the girls who eagerly facilitate their misdeeds. Heck plenty of the girls are also lying about exactly what they do to earn their money. There are no innocents in a strip club.

About a year ago I witnessed a baby stripper walk up to a seasoned vet, who apparently she knew from outside the club, and complain about dealing with a married guy. The more experienced dancer gave her a slightly amused, yet matter-of-fact, look and said "They're all married hon." While not strictly true of course, it got the point across, lol.
Dolfan
2 years ago
^ also agree the jealousy is largely although not exclusively new girl/baby stripper thing. Again, when it happens. I haven't the slightest inkling if that was going on here but am inclined to trust rick's statement in his case.

The jaded vets are the same on both sides, we ain't gonna waste time on that nonsense. It's what we're seeing to avoid.
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
Rick you tend to undersell yourself, you mentioned being muscular built like a truck, mentioned getting a good price for OTC, mentioned seeing girls who are very low volume, to the point you might be their only otc client! So its very plausible these dancers genuinely like you and arent doing otc just for the money, which means jealousy can definitely be a factor.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Hookera get jealous coz of money not the trick
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
^unless they like the trick, and you said they liked you that means they can like anyone
Cashman1234
2 years ago
This jealousy idea is silly and sophomoric at best.

I think the discussions about her motivations are unlikely to provide a reasonable conclusion, as there is a component of stripper logic involved.

Based on my experience - it’s another time when a girl is setting a trap - and the best answer is to not give any information.
wallanon
2 years ago
"This jealousy idea is silly and sophomoric at best."

I was speaking in generalities, because none of us know what was going through the mind of the OP's dish. But I think if there's guys out there who really believe strippers can't get the feels out of P4P and do bad things because of it, that's a luxury I don't have.

For me the most notorious incident I've had happened in two different clubs on two different days. Same crazy stripper. You're probably saying "wait, isn't that two?". Let's just say if I'd known why the first thing happened I wouldn't have shown up to trigger the second.
rickmacrodong
2 years ago
Rick said hes muscular and built like a truck wrestler. And he does otc with very selective women who rarely do otc with other guys. It seems possible they could be jelly
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