Do you perfer to be approached?

33 comments

• chandler

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  17 years ago

  I prefer for the hottest stripper in the club to come over and slide onto my lap and rub her body all over mine for about half an hour before asking if I want a dance. Sometimes that doesn't happen, and I have to go chase her down.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  I prefer wanna dance if she is attractive. :)
• StripShopper

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  17 years ago

  I prefer the type that understands direct eye contact. If I look at her directly in her eyes for more than 5 seconds...I want her to come over put her arms around me or come sit in my lap to start a conversation and possible discuss terms. The Wanna dance type usually pisses me off... especially when they get pissy when you say "no thank you". Which is only one tick above, "Want to buy the lady a Drink", Or "How would you like to buy me a Drink". If I'm interested...All they have to do is look my way.
• SuperDude

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  17 years ago

  I prefer to do the asking. The "wanna dance" hustle is now a common and rude practice trying to force the customer to give up all of his money as soon as he gets in the door. On a bright sunny day I've had dancers swoop down on me before my eyes could adjust to the darkness of the club. We now have the tag team approach of the dancer and shot girl trying to hustle you as soon as you sit down. And they wonder why some guys stop going to certain clubs. If I like you I'll get to you.
• lopaw

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  17 years ago

  I prefer to have the dancers approach me, but I know that sometimes you gotta go and ask the ones that are very popular or very attractive. I'm not shy anymore about going to get what I want.
• shadowcat

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  17 years ago

  Generally yes. I fell that it puts me in better position to bargain on prices. If I chase after her, it makes me look too eager. At my favorite club with my favorite dancers it is really not an issue. I know what my price is going to be and what I am going to get for it.
• David9999

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  17 years ago

  I have no problem with being approached, and unless a dancer is a flat out/take your breath away/knock-out 10, they will generally be giving up earnings in most clubs by just laying back and waiting for customers and not soliciting with some variation of the wanna dance type approach. Strangely enough with nearly every ATF and semi-regular types I now know, I just walked up to them, 90% of them right as they stepped off the stage. I've not seen many guys do this, which surprises me a bit. Now the downside is to walking up to a dancer (in effect cold) based strictly on visual cues - is you don't know how she speaks, her breath, or other factors - so you end up dancing with alot of girls this way, most you might have zero long term attraction toward, and that can get expensive, plus some of them (forever it seems) think you got some kind of thing for them. I see some guys do the "test drive" perv rail thing, I suppose that might be more logical, however if the dancer happens to end up an AFT, its a real plus to have been able to have just picked her out from afar in an aggressive way. The super-hot dancers can sometimes just wait for customers to approach them, and they often can get used to being able to entirely avoid the rejection issue, so you'd miss out on them if you just hang around waiting. One my very best ATFs I met that way actually turned out to be very shy in fact. Another of my best AFTs happens to be a very high volume "do you wanna dance" type, but I got to her first - basically pulled her right off the stage the first time I layed eyes on her, and I think she appreciated that.
• Book Guy

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  17 years ago

  I like it when the hot ones approach me and the ugly ones don't, and I really like it when the girls all know which ones I consider to be hot or ugly. I like it when, if an ugly (to me!) one approaches and I rebuff her, she's classy and just moves on. I dislike it when a hot one doesn't approach, or comes up and then disappears for some "regular" or rich-looking guy who just walked in. What I want, is for the ones whom I want, to do enough work at breaking the ice that I can then start up the flirting that leads to spending time together.
• Clubber

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  17 years ago

  I don't care if she is God's gift to men, I prefer then not to talk to me, sit by me, or in any way approach me. If it is a common practice in the club to circulate for tips, this is approved. That said, if a dancer wishes to smile and just say hello as she passes by, that is also approved. After that I will make all decisions as to what I say to which dancer.
• driver01

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  17 years ago

  Some interesting responses. But expecting NOT to be approached in a SC seems a bit unrealistic to me, at least most of the clubs I've been to. Kind of like visiting a car dealership. Try as you might to avoid a salesman, it usually takes about 3 minutes on the lot b4 you're getting pitched. They assume you are there to buy a car and want to be the one to sell it to you. Dancers are no different in that regard. They figure you're in the club to see some pussy and get some dances. They want to be the one you spend your money on.
• David9999

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  17 years ago

  "Wanna dance" assuming you don't like it, is only going to get worse, because "passive" dancers (my label for shy or laid back of fun dancers) - will be forced to become more aggressive as the dollars tighten. The big issue has always been dancers that don't know how to graciously take no for an answer, because "wanna dance" is going to happen whether we like it or not and nearly every large earner I know - (same pattern with most of the dancers on pink site too) - uses some variation of wanna dance, typically lets say guesstimate 50% of their time doing high volume solitications and 50% handling anywhere from 2 to 10 a regulars per week of varying importance I happen to know one dancer who doesn't use wanna dance and still makes huge bucks, she basically works limited days for her in-the-club sugar daddy types and doesn't accept of ask for dances from anyone else. However I'm not sure how she comes up with these guys over and over, should for example she have turnover, because she has to have some turnover (I mean how much can they do ITC) In any case she's apparently an exception
• minnow

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  17 years ago

  Ideally, as Chandler says. Realistically, sometimes, I must do the asking, especially if a hot dancer is on stage, and several other PL's , are obviously interested in same dancer.
• chandler

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  17 years ago

  Well put, Driver. If you don't want to be approached, try a regular bar. Or a library. I like being approached, period. I enjoy a lot of interaction at strip clubs. I'd rather be approached by girls I don't want dances from than not by anyone. But if so, I don't see any of the downsides to taking the initiative to flag down hot girls. I have fun tipping at the stage for its own sake, but it's also a good way to get girls to join you. And I always ask them to join me at my table, not to go directly to a dance area, so there's still plenty opportunity to check them out.
• hornytoad085

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  17 years ago

  I prefer to do the approaching, I feel like if the girl takes the initiative then she's in control of the situation and I have a harder time asserting want I want out of it (and how much I want to pay). Saying if you don't want to be approached then go to a library is stupid, sure the vast majority of clubs have girls that approach you but not all of them do it, and the ones that don't tend to have the nicest atmosphere IMO. It also depends on whether I'm there alone, or with a friend.
• DandyDan

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  17 years ago

  I'd rather be approached. Most of the time, I'd rather just sit in a chair and wait for a girl to come around. I know it doesn't always work that way, especially in an unfamiliar club, but even then, a little stage tipping usually works. Then again, there are a couple clubs within my experience where you have to approach them.
• David9999

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  17 years ago

  The worst ones ones often have two things going on 1. big ego attitudes 2. 6 or lower looks or size, which generally means they shouldn't be dancing anyways. Dancers should be some variation of Showgirls in my opinion Then sometimes add to that bad breath and grabbing your balls, and in worst case they start into "WHY don't you want to dance with me"?? and won't go away. I paid one off 20 bucks to disppear and she kept coming back to demand more.
• casualguy

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  17 years ago

  I'm used to dancers approaching me. Making eye contact with them and staring at them is almost asking a dancer to come over. If you tipped her on stage, that also means you might be interested in her. I typically let dancers approach since they do anyway. I remember several years ago, I approached one hot dancer once or twice to let her know I wanted a dance. After that, she always approached me. Besides, like shadowcat said, it's makes it easier to negotiate dance prices if she approaches you if you're in a club where prices are negotiable. I like negotiable prices, you can both come to an agreement on a dance price versus a set price a club determined you think is too high so you refuse to get any dances there.
• David9999

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  17 years ago

  As I mentioned I don't mind being approached, but maybe the reason I like controlling the situation and approaching them instead - is that it parallels the way real life (non strip) clubs work (or used to work a few decades back), so maybe its reliving of those times in some way as I usually did pretty well in those situations. Now even then, girls would send signals or brush up against you, making it easier especially with very attractive women. However dealing and accepting lots of rejection had to be learned by any guy who went up to women on the upper range of the scale. Now in a club the deck is obviously stacked, and very very rarely does one get rejected, because afterall the PL is PAYING her to dance, and its a strictly business deal with 99% of these dancers - so its of course different.
• ThisOldManPlayed1

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  17 years ago

  daddy313 - Congratulations on your Christmas gift. By joining TUSCL, you will find many glorious and fun hours posting and taking part in the discussion board. I prefer to be approached by the HORNIEST of dancers! Sometimes, their looks are immaterial to me, depends on my 'state of being' or 'state of erection?'. I don't care for the "pushy" dancers, as they are the epitome of 'it's all about the money'! And besides, I can't expect much being as ugly and old as I am, and most dancers don't want to fart around with an erect 2 1/2 in prick, do they now?
• jimhalsted

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  17 years ago

  Isn't being approached part of the fantasy? That this hot girl wants to spend time with you so much, that she passed up every other guy in the club, just so that she could be with you? If you approach her, it can feel like more of a business transaction, but if she approaches you, and handles it well, then it feels more like a connection is made.
• FONDL

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  17 years ago

  In general I prefer to be the one doing the approaching. I don't mind being approached if they're polite about it, but I don't like the high pressure approach at all and I avoid clubs where that's the norm. I especially like the clubs where you can't tip the dancers while they're onstage so they have to circulate throughout the room to collect their tips. When they approach you can just give them their dollar and they move on or you can engage them in conversation for a bit and ask them to jin you if you like. Seems to me that's the best of both worlds.
• Book Guy

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  17 years ago

  1. big ego attitudes 2. 6 or lower looks or size yup Seems, however, that item 2 is likely to increase, rather than decrease, item 1. Weird.
• Clubber

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  17 years ago

  First off, the question was "Do you PERFER to be approached?" Assuming it was meant to say prefer, that is completely different then would be, Do you EXPECT to be approached? I would venture a guess, that if a smoking hot dancer approached and had her hands all over any of us, we would all enjoy that. So, each of us has what we prefer and what we expect.
• David9999

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  16 years ago

  z"if a smoking hot dancer approached and had her hands all over any of us, we would all enjoy that." The rare "smoking hot dancers" i.e perfect 10s or very close who also have brains and are working a high volume wanna dance approach and are shooting for the large money - they will know enough to minimize touching. THAT only happens when you pay the 25 dollars (or whatever) for the dance or 100 plus for VIP. These girls understand the average guy rarely gets close to such a girl in his real life - unless for example she's happens to be his dental hygenist
• imnumnutz

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  16 years ago

  call it a fetish, if you wish, but i prefer the thrill of the chase. I like scoping out the hottest dancer, finding she is occupied and in demand. The more difficult she is too approach, the more I want her.
• ThisOldManPlayed1

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  16 years ago

  Just like me 'imnumnutz'! I thrive on the challenge!!!
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  I started to tabulate the results of daddy313's question, but quickly found that it was not really possible. Right away most relies included variables that made in impossible to really tabulate the results. That said, it appears that most do not wish to be approached, in what I would consider, "normal" circumstances.
• David9999

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  16 years ago

  If clubs could simply train their dancers to say "Ok" after a guy says "No thanks" the first time - I think this would solve the problem. Clubs know that harassing customers might work for a few dancers here and there, but longer term detracts from the club vibe, and on the other hand, many customers just don't want to ask for dances, so approaching them is the only way the dance is going to happen. A sign something like this might work: "Patrons may be asked to engage in private dances, saying yes or no is sufficient"
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  David9999, Of course, NO dancer would EVER break a strip clubs "rules"! But you are correct, if dancers would just ask and accept the "No thanks." and move on, that would work for me. Also, they must not just come and SIT!
• David9999

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  16 years ago

  Actually the sign idea is a bit of wishful thinking - but no doubt dancers accepting a "no" would be a nice start - and the clubs definitely need to explain to all dancers that harassment level tactics on asking for dances - is going to hurt both them and the club longer term by driving customers away. In regards to sitting, I'm alway standing so I don't get that much, especially lap sitting. However with one of my best ATFs, she's approx an 8.5 level dancer, but her very very sexy latin accent and nice voice and always great breath and overall scent, she's even more attractive up close - so will use the sit-on-the-lap technique - because she's knows what her strong points are. So for fun now and then when the club isn't too busy, she will go back to her (base) area, and then I find a table to sit at and she then finds me and comes up to me and sits on my lap (like we don't know each other) - its sometimes pretty funny and we have some good laughs doing it. This girl is almost irrisistable to any man when she's on your lap up close
• Book Guy

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  16 years ago

  I think my "pipe dream" for a dancer's behavior / attitude in a strip club is simply the following: read my mind give me what i want realize that this is a service industry and you are being paid by me It's not too far from the truth, in fact. ... :)
• casualguy

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  16 years ago

  I said before that I'm used to dancers approaching me. I guess after last night I'm not used to 2 dancers approaching me at the same time like a tag team. It's like a red warning flag immediately goes up in my mind whether they like it or not. It would help if I was in a club longer than 5 minutes and had a chance to relax and enjoy the view a little bit longer too. I felt a bit awkward last night getting rid of two dancers who I have been friendly with in the past but the way they approached me just set off all kinds of alarm bells for me. The club was crowded too so I don't know why they sat at my table unless it was because I had two empty chairs. After I had some more beer, I felt a whole lot more comfortable. 5 minutes in a club isn't long enough.
• Clubber

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  16 years ago

  casualguy, If your "alarm bells" went off because of the way they approached, perhaps they were a tag team of thiefs! God know how many ways a couple of dancers could steal from a customer.