Dancers Asking You to Smile . . .

Interesting--- Usually I am asked a slightly different smile question--"What are you smiling about?" And my answer is always the same-- "I'm sitting in a room full of pretty naked women, sipping my favorite drink, a pocket full of money and no where else I'd rather be at this particular moment- what is there NOT to smile about?"...but that's just me.

I absolutely hate being told by anyone how to act. If I was certain she wouldn't go whine to a manager and get me kicked out, I'd tell the dancer who told me to smile exactly what she needed to do to make me smile.

I too, have had this happen on a few occasions. It usually comes from a dancer that I do not find attractive and consequently have no intention of seeing in the back room. I think in most cases the dancer senses this and to annoy the patron will make the "smile" comment or some similar comment designed to antagonize. On the other hand, if I am looking at a girl that appeals to me there is a pretty good chance I am already smiling in anticipation of what I hope will be upcoming.

To me, smiling at dancers is like a flashing neon sign that says, "BOTHER ME". Now, like snowtime, if I see the right dancer, a smile is no problem. And, yes, I have heard the smile question many times.

I agree with driver01....the smile on my face when I am in a SC is so big that I know I have startled dancers who probably thought I was insane or something. I'm just so darn happy to be in a room full of (mostly) gorgeous nekkid wimmen that how can you NOT smile?

I have dancers tell me all of the time that I need to smile.

Once in FanasyLand West (Bucyrus), a dancer told me to smile and I said that it was her job to put the smile on my face. Sure enough, two LD's later I was smiling.

I should use the line more often.

Pink site has many dancers that apparenltly do the "are you happy tonight?" routine as part of their customer dance solicitation. I've not seen it personally, however not sure if the strip club business s/b run like its a Disney theme park. Some people are happy and some are not, and some don't outwardly show it, and in any case trying to artificially make them happy -doesn't work anyways in most cases

Hi David9999,

The "are you happy tonight" doesn't bother me at all and I've heard that more than a few times. Probably in part because it is not a command or judgement (depending on how she says it). Also, it just seems like other service businesses where they genuinely want to know if you're satisfied.

I get it from the uglies and there is a good reason I don't smile at them! The neon sign analogy!!! (Excellent.) But, I also get it from the hotties and usually (better than 90%) they're a ROB. :(

Smiling (even artifical) is supposed to release a feel good endomorph (?) and at least for me it works--yet I don't like it. I'd rather have something real to smile about-even most "happy" drugs are better than the forced smile. Hot nekkid ladies, ain't enough to a smile on my face. I can see super hot on the internet. It is getting what I need that will make me happy--not sure if I will smile.

If I am happy, then the best way for the dancer to get me to smile is to do a lot of smiling on her own. If she has a good smile, then it is super attractive. :) I also notice that I smile (symbolicly) much more over the internet than IRL. :)

It sounds to me as though you guys are making too much of dancers' intent. Asking somebody to smile is usually a reflexive suggestion meant in a friendly way. If you get asked this often - in or outside of strip clubs - perhaps it's a sign you don't appreciate how much effect your appearance can have on others.

JaBlake--

you say you smile more over the internet babes than with flesh and blood naked women surrounding you in mass via the SC experience???? Hmmm...maybe I need to spend more time looking at porn on the internet- I must have missed something.

Hi driver01,

I typed that "I also notice that I smile (symbolicly) much more over the internet than IRL. :)." Wasn't even thinking about the internet babes when I typed that.

Flesh and blood naked women surrounding me in mass doesn't do much for me unless they're available. I'd rather watch internet porn. :)

Fortunately, this request to smile is limited almost exclusively to stripclubs, ime. At that it normally doesn't seem friendly. One exception was a sweet girl, non-stripclub & non-sex, who practically did back flips to try and get me to smile. I didn't believe in smiling so I didn't smile. :)

The "are you happy tonight?" (smile) routine is simply a variation of a hustle that some dancers use. Its in the nature of the "enjoy your meal" line that wait staff use. I got got nothing against dancers soliciting patrons for dancers, so long as accept a no politely, and don't start harassing people about smiling. Note that merely because a person is not smiling, doesn't mean they are not happy.

Although in a modern context smiling tends to associated with the smiler having some degree of happiness, except for example when a car salesman. flight attendant, or politician and so forth is giving the obvious fake smile, the actual derivation of smiling is not known. The evolutionary basis seems to be an expression of weakness or submission, perhaps used to avoid a physical confrontation by a superior foe.

This might explain why its possible some women (subconsciously) can be turned off in the "chemistry" sense by men that are always smiling, it could be an indicator of the unwillingness to use physical force or just general weakness. Consider that Jimmy Carter likes to smile and note that James Bond rarely does.

So now next time I get asked to smile by a dancer, I can state "If it is good enough for Bond, then it's good enough for me." :)

The whole manners and smile routine seems so forced and fake. I don't mind faking as long as it seems completely real. The best dancers, imo, are the con artists who can reel you in hook, line, and sinker. :)

"Smile, it can't be that bad" = "I have a right to judge you and I hereby demand that you entertain me and not imply that my presence is insufficient for you to have a perfect day"

which of course = I personally won't be spending any money on THAT girl.

As the experts say "In the primate threat, the lips are curled back and the teeth are apart--you are ready to bite. But if the teeth are pressed together and the lips are relaxed, then clearly you are not prepared to do any damage."

Today we call that a "smile". Starting from the threat position, this change is a very minimal and subtle difference, which avoids a mistake in a hair trigger situation possibly having a life or death impact to the weaker party. For example a handshake could be mistaken for an attack, so a very minimal but important change can unwind the threat w/o mistake.

Obviously humans being the most intelligent of primates began to understand over time that last second backing down from threats, depending upon the foe, at certain times could be a very logical option.

Now if women happen to be subconsciously turned off by men that smile excessively (which may or may not be the case) - it probably has a primordial basis as being associated with weakness and submission

So just ignore any dancer chick that tells you to smile in a club

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Next up, strippers who ask if you're having a "good time": Obviously scheming to rip your heart out of your chest, drain your corpse of all its blood and feed your remains to jackals.

I've heard the "smile" request several times when in a club. The more dreaded "smile, it can't be THAT bad" comment is even worse. Both of these statements have a negative impact on me. I don't know why, but it makes me feel more "loser-ish" or even a little inferior. It's almost like making a request for ME to perform for them?

Granted, I haven't heard it many times, and usually I am all smiles. It's also probably not a coincidence that most of the times that I have received this comment it was spoken by a dancer that I had absolutely no interest in. This can be attributed to me being very quick to smile at a hot dancer that I am interested in, upon initial - and successive - eye contact.

Smiling is an important part of body language. I find it to be the body language that dancers watch the most when they judge if they should attempt to do business with you or to figure out if you enjoyed their service and if you will be coming back for more. I always get a reaction out of my ATF if I don't smile after the dances or if I act like my mind has wondered off somewhere else. If I don't want to do business with a dancer, I either don't smile or I force one and it works about the same to tell them to go away.

I've had dancers tell me to smile. Usually the reason I'm not smiling is that I'm bored because none of the dancers appeal to me. And the only time I want to smile at a girl is if she interests me, because many dancers will interpret a smile as an invitation to join me. So I'm fairly careful who I smile at in a club.

I don't feel more "loser-ish" when an annoying chick starts to demand my performances. I feel more "annoyed-ish" at THAT particular chick ...

I don't consider smiling at people to be a tremendous labor. It's just kind of instinctive when I make eye contact. I don't worry about whether a stripper will take it the wrong way to mean I want a dance. If she does, I'll tell her I don't want a dance from her. No sweat.

I don't hear a dancer asking me to smile too much. Fortunately for me, I hear more often that dancers like dancing for me because I look happy and have a big grin on my face.

Smiling is great and should be used wherever possible, however definitely don't use it excessively around ladies you might have a thing for - you might end up with the (often fatal) "nice guy" tag - and as I've stated above the evidence suggests the smile is equated with weakness and submission, with the associated happiness factor probably evolving from the fact that the weaker party (for that moment in time ) instead of being killed or injured by his opponent, would via submission to the perceived superior opponent instead get to keep breathing or remain living w/o serious bodily harm

I often DO smile at others "on the inside" (I feel happy, and my facial muscles do flex in a smile direction) but it doesn't translate to outward visible signs (my chipmunk cheeks and allergy-puffed eyes keep it hidden, because no action takes place on the skin itself). This is a frustration, because I have many pictures in which I look angry, but was trying to look happy. Thus, when a girl suggests I'm failing to perform adequately for her, she has brought up old annoyances AND presumed I wasn't trying to perform AND implied she has a right to judge me. All in one fell swoop. No money for her.

I'd say if you have to strategize whether or not to smile, you're beyond the point where it can help. The only thing dorkier looking than a forced smile might be suppressing a smile in an attempt to convey gravitas. Just because some guys who chicks dig don't smile doesn't mean "nice guy" losers should try it as a pose.

Book Guy: I identify with that, despite what I've said about smiling coming pretty naturally for me. I also have a tendency at times to default to a more serious look than I'm feeling. However, I don't feel the slightest resentment when somebody points it out to me. It just makes me realize I ought to snap out of it.

Hi chipitin,

I didn't think most customers smiled at the stripclub unless they already knew the dancer. You know that whole dealy about dancers planning and plotting to rip out hearts and drain wallets. Not very conducive to smiling for most customers.

I see experienced dancers approach customers who are giving out all manner of negative body language. The old rule you don't know unless you ask. Sometimes the customer is just shy or has had a bad day or feels rejected, or etc. It isn't that reading body language isn't a helpful tool, it is just that it isn't a universal truth.

Female customers watching male strippers seem to be 100% opposite in their behaviour. Smiling and going wild. Of course, clubs featuring male strippers aren't too prevalent. Women for all the big talk generally aren't too interested in strip clubs. An exception might be bisexual or lesbian women going to see naked women strippers. :)

I sometimes look the other way. When the fat girl starts to act like she's going to sit at my table I even frown deliberately ...

jablake-You're right about the female custies & male dancer thing - throw a half naked oiled up gay guy on a stage and the straight women lose thier minds - must be the novelty of the whole thing.

We gay gals are much more subdued and classy when we are in a SC. ;)

Hi lopaw,

Yes, definitely seems so ime in a regular strip club. But, I'd love to see that tested in a lesbian nudie club. :) And, you did say you smiled like *crazy* due to all nekkid women surrounding you. :)

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but in the black clubs I've occasionally been seeing some of the "boyfriends" of the dancers. Wow, are they hot even though they're dressing up in "guy" clothing. Maybe it is the lack of makeup, high heels, and the realness they display. Anyway, those couples seem much closer than the couples where the dancer has a male boyfriend.

Hi jablake
I have only had the pleasure of seeing one partner of a dancer actually enter a club and hang out there while I was there. She was VERY protective of her girl, and they left shortly there after. I have interacted with several lesbian dancers, and it never fails that every one of them has told me that their girlfriends didn't mind them dancing for men, but it was strictly a no-go for dancing for other women. How weird! But I respected it (usually) and just kept our interaction at chatting only.

And it's true - some of the dancers girlfriends were quite hot!

Hi lopaw,

My ex-girlfriend has a strong preference for women. It didn't bother me even a little bit because I consider it like comparing apples and oranges. Another man, however, would be whole different ballgame because it is more like comparing oranges to oranges. Unless, he was a paid provider (paid fantasy) and then I'd be wondering what should or could I do different or maybe she just likes variety.

Being surrounded by the hot girlfriends not only would take the smile off my face (if there was one) presuming they weren't available, but I probably be worked up. Like being surrounded with delicious food, but it is reserved for the beautiful people. It is frustrating when they're looking better than the dancers. When the dancers are as hot, then it is just more eye candy. :)

This is just a way for a stripper to try and break the ice with someone that she wants to get some attention from. All strippers have a list of things that they say to customers to try and break the ice. Yes, it's happened to me, and I usually just smile for them. Yes, it is annoying when it happens.

I once yawned openly while right at the railing back at a club in RI called The Playhouse Theater one night a looooong time ago (I was tired after a long day at work I guess). The stripper onstage said something like, "Oh no, we can't have that!" and did this reverse spread-eagle move like 1/2 an inch from my face...I woke up... :)