Do I go to far?

Lol I think they like the breadsticks

I find it better to make myself the target of my own jokes, especially around someone I don’t know well.

You want tits. ass and a sense of humor? Talk about a unicorn!

🦄

But yeah, humor is entirely subjective... kinda gotta read the room 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ilbb said "If I want a dance from a dancer, I'm in VIP within about 30 seconds of saying hello."

Well... this suddenly makes sense.

"Better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt!"

If her dream is to become a science teacher I would say that's a "tell" she is not a freak. She probably thinks Bill Nye is her idol and dreams her life was boring and simple. Thats not a bad dream if your life is chaos.

If by "freak" you mean someone who likes to hook up, I don't see what that has to do with being into science or teaching. I didn't see any reason to think her life was chaos. In any case, I wouldn't feel comfortable getting more dances from her. I'm skeptical someone could be comfortable with lap dancing but be offended by that joke, even if she didn't find it funny (two different things). I feel bad for people who have to do a job they hate for the good money, but I find it much more enjoyable to get dances with someone who can tolerate it better.

Just because a woman doesn't like hooking up, that doesn't mean she doesn't like smutty jokes. You won't find that out, until they know you well enough to know you won't stereotype them for liking smutty jokes, or call them freaks.

You mean - people don't like child-molester jokes??!

And I don't feel I made anyone a "target". It isn't wrong for teachers to feel attracted to their students, it's only wrong if they don't keep it to themselves. Someone would have to be towards the higher side of the autistic spectrum to think that was a serious question, I didn't get the impression she was. Seems dissonant to say it's proper to lap dance with someone, but improper to touch on the topic of sex when conversing with them.

Finding adolescents attractive is not the same as being a child molester. It isn't just me: http://mitkraft.com/humor/nmacdonald.htm . Unless we're going to keep telling knock knock jokes into our sixties, it's hard to avoid having humor touch on serious topics in an unserious way. But, to any and all resident church ladies, feel free to do the superiority dance all night long, I'm not trying to be your buzzkill.

"Should I just stick to asking them what their favorite Olive Garden entree is?"

Since her goal is a high school science teacher you should have asked if her favorite Olive Garden entree is the "Petri Dish" and then wait for the uncontrollable laughter.

A well known stripper at Follies told me that she was pregnant. Without thinking I immediately asked "Do you know who the father is?". I was relieved when she replied that it was her husband.

I have my lame attempts at humor fall flat sometimes. I recently had a very pretty stripper tell me she wanted to be a doctor. I smiled at her and then told her I always thought pretty girls married doctors instead of becoming doctors. She angrily scowled at me and asked me why I thought that.

So first...yeah, totally think that was too far. There's a difference between hooking up and fucking a minor.

That being said... This is probably one of those things where it's all about the deliverer. If she's attracted to you, maybe she will fall on the side of it being more of a playful joke. If she's not attracted to you, well...it will not go over well...at all.

If it lands flat, you went too far. With her. Another person might be fine with it.

I must be getting old, because what you said was clearly offensive and not humorous in the least.

If it's a person I don't know, then I'd probably steer my humor away from comparing that person to a convicted child rapist. If we're being honest, the same applies to people I do know really well.

But I guess that's just me...

And while the cats joke was essentially harmless, it doesn't take a lot of insight or empathy to understand that even grazing up against the topic of pimps is unpopular with some dancers. So, I wouldn't.

I think there's a fair number of customers who believe that their money obligates a dancer to at least pretend that all their jokes are funny.

Except that's not true.

^ Go away, Cacaplop.

There's a difference between fucking a minor and being attracted to a minor or joking about an adult having sex with a minor. Norm McDonald agrees with me.

Seems like totally separate issues, whether a joke lands flat/is not funny to someone, and whether it is offensive. What is it about social media that makes people so desperate to find a reason to scold?

I think, for the majority of people, if they are going to teach high school, they have to anticipate the fact that they will find some students attractive. So they can be conscious of it, be careful to disguise their attraction, make sure it doesn't influence how they treat the students.

Sting was a briefly a high school teacher, he wrote a song about this problem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB… . If it's true to life, it shows why some people can't handle teaching, too tempted to abuse their position.

ilbb said "What is it about social media that makes people so desperate to find a reason to scold?"

If you're going to start a topic titled "Do I go to [sic] far?", then you probably shouldn't pout when people answer that question in a way you don't like. You asked for judgement on a topic, and you got it.

It hard to say about any particular dancer, but I think generally the "I'm a prim and proper girl who was forced into stripping by hard luck" is part of a hard sell. A segway into "I'll believe you're my true love and savior if you spend-show me your love".

"Its ok to be attracted to a minor as long as you don't act on"

Holy shit this whole thread is giving me the heeby jeebies. That's enough internet for the month see you weirdos in January.

^^^ No, no, no, Bitcoin. Apparently, you're "scolding".

When I was in middle school, there were a couple of very hot teachers. One dressed down, but her figure was so good, it wasn't enough to hid it. The other dressed in pretty form-fitting clothes. Obviously her right, but I think I would have opted out of that to make my life easier. Once we had to read something in class that had the word "bust" in it, referring to a statue. All the boys went seriously Beavis and Butthead. She took it personally, but I think that would have happened if a 60 year old man had been teaching the class. Neither one of them were ready to accept the reality that their attractiveness meant they'd have to get hardass more than they ideally would have wanted to.

In a high school class with a younger female teacher, all hell broke loose at the sentence "she got a prick in her hand" (meaning a needle prick). But she brought the hardass to us swiftly and intensely.

If you are spending this much time defending/explaining your jokes, then they weren’t funny. Most humor in strip clubs needs to be quick and simple. There’s loud music, bright lights and booze to add to the challenge of telling a joke in a strip club.

Knock knock
Who’s there
My jokes suck - let’s go to VIP…

El Duderino made this helpful video about sexual harassment in the workplace: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYia…

Doubt anyone under 30 knows who Mary Kay Letourneau is, and if they do know who it is they’d feel pretty awkward admitting that

She seemed to know.

Lib you have some good posts but for whatever reason seem kinda triggered on my response. I guess I need to explain my comment further.

Just because she is a dancer doesn't mean any sex joke is fair game. Especially one about her dream job which has nothing to do with being in this business. Many girls grit their teeth and strip to achieve a goal outside this business because its short term money they need. They may not like the sexual aspect of it or really be proud of it. She may also just feel like you are reducing her to being just a sexual thing instead of her what she sees her true calling. Namely being a science teacher and educating young students (not fucking them).

I guess when you think about it, strippers should get scholarships to become middle school and high school teachers. Nekked boobies resets men's mental age to 13. They are prepped.

Ha! Yes, that SNL skit is pretty much the definition of my comment.

I think Uprightcitizen made some very relevant and insightful observations.

@Up OK, fair enough, I see it differently, but I don't see the triggered part. Suppose your server at Outback is a vegetarian, and you ask them which steak they think is best. Which answer would you find reasonable:
1. Sorry I don't know I'm a vegetarian.
2. NONE OF THEM! MEAT IS FUCKING MURDER!
She (the dancer) could have said:
1. Yeah, I was really into the football players when I was HS, I'll have to watch myself!
2. I've never been very attracted to guys younger than me.
3. I'm Lesbian/Asexual.
When I'm at work, I'll at least smile at a joke I don't think is funny as courtesy, if it's not denigrating anyone. And, I'll say it again, I don't think there's anything denigrating about saying an adult might feel attracted to an adolescent in some cases. If someone told you they worked in a candy bar factory, and you said, damn, how can you not weight 300 lbs.?, I don't think it would be reasonable of them to seriously think you were accusing them of stealing candy, and get pissy.

Dude I don't know but just saying she told you her dream job and your joke implies she is a sex freak by nature. I wouldn't be offended but some would (especially if they don't enjoy being considered a sex object.

"When I'm at work, I'll at least smile at a joke I don't think is funny as courtesy, if it's not denigrating anyone."

Someone tells you about the career they aspire to after being a stripper, and you lead off with a 'joke' about her potential to become a teacher convicted of rape. That's denigrating ... to her. Maybe, when someone tells you about their hopes for the future, you don't lead with statutory rape humor. Maybe take a half step and don't lead with statutory rape humor with complete strangers.

"And, I'll say it again, I don't think there's anything denigrating about saying an adult might feel attracted to an adolescent in some cases."

It's pretty common knowledge that most people have strong (negative) feelings about sexual attraction to children. And the whole 'It's okay to be attracted to a minor...' line of thought is pretty much the opening sentence to NAMBLA's mission statement. So, if you think that helps your argument here, then you're wrong. Because it's more of a red flag than anything else.

And, again, if you're going to launch a thread with "Do I go too far?", and you're not prepared to get responses you don't like, then maybe don't start that thread. Honestly, you're the one who seems to be triggered.

@Up it seems like you are the type that's attracted to strippers who pretend to be prudes. Don't mean to burst your bubble, but I think it must be extremely rare that an actual prude becomes a stripper. I'm all for you being deep into your fantasy if it makes you happy. But you should make an effort to dial it back enough so that it doesn't cause you to slander people. Only prudes would think that saying that an adult could feel attracted to a high school student implies the adult a "sex freak by nature". If an actual prude decides to become a stripper, she should be ready to handle it calmly if customers assume she's not a prude.

Well, I'll say this. Coming to TUSCL seeking only positive affirmations is about as pie-in-the-sky optimistic as anyone can get.

Too far?

Yes.

Lol nice troll Lib trying to make it about me. Don't post questions if you don't like the answers you get. Sorry you got triggered...

Pro tip- High school teachers that are attracted to their students and fucking them is considered to be socially unacceptable.

Was hoping this thread would be more fun, but certainly did flush out the church ladies.

Yea sorry for humanizing the dancer. You will do much better when they populate clubs with sex robots.

It also flushed out the guy who can't shoot ducks in a barrel.

Because if you're the guy struggling to not offend women who are motivated by money to put up with extraordinary amounts of our horseshit, then the problem is you.

I remember this one dancer that started talking with me... Seemed like a super GPS type from the offset... But she sat down and decided to initiate a conversation...

I mentioned something about OTC, maybe going back to her place..

Started telling me about living in an RV on her mom's driveway...

I was good with that....

But we'd apparently have to not rock the RV, so go inside her mom's house...

OK, no problem. As long as she's not going to watch. But really, I'm fine if she does.....

She goes off on how sick I am bringing her mother into this. I'm really pretty sure by now, she's really just pissed she spent 5 minutes sitting and talking with some asshole who's not buying dances.

And in the middle of her outrage, points out how I'm not buying dances from her (and takes a moment to call the girl that I pointed out I did just buy some dances a slut for doing whatever it was we did that she wouldn't do...), and then stops to offer some again before storming off angry.

Ya, I guess I went too far...

Upright and Ishmael make relevant points.

When telling a joke, it’s important to read the crowd - or in this case the person.

Dancers generally laugh at all sorts of offensive and weird stuff customers say. Main purpose is to ease bulge on your wallet.
So chalk this off as Rookie Dancer

@roger She didn't seem super new otherwise. IDK, seems to me like, women often feel like they have to act prim and proper, until they know you won't be judgemental if they're not. Dancers usual see it pretty fast that I'm not jugdemental. But we were only on the first or second dance when I said that, so maybe I just jumped the gun with a joke like that.

It's believable to me that a stripper would want to end up as a high school science teacher. But the fact that see told me that so fast makes me suspicious. I'm sure the PLs who score high on the rick-o-meter would just smirk at that. Some dancers, when they see you're being careful to try and touch them in a way that's comfortable to them, see that as meaning they should shoot for a "I'm a good girl who needs a white knight" hustle. But any beautiful woman who can tolerate my fat old self is a good woman in my book.