Customer Installed Tracking Device on SWer's Car and then Murdered Her

avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
Blow me. 😙 Pronouns: hoe/heaux
Abigail Saldana was a dancer and escort who was murdered last week by a customer she no longer wanted to see. He attached an Air Tag to her car and tracked and stalked her. She found it two weeks before he murdered her. Before he killed her, he posted a very demeaning photo of Abigail on his Instagram along with screenshots of text messages and what he had paid her for OTC.

I can't find his Instagram now, so I don't know if it's still up or not. There are copies of the Instagram photos on the following link: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexWorkersOnly/…

One of many news articles:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.texomas…

79 comments

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avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
This is why we should never give out dancer information whenever someone comes on here asking, "Hey, does anyone know where Bambi is dancing now?"

It wasn't that long ago that a dancer showed me several videos of guys who have tried follow her home from the club. Their risk is very real.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
It's SaldaĂąa (hold your finger on the n key to get the Ăą). (Not trying to be a jerk, just want to respect the deceased.)

My CF has a regular who is very good $-wise, but very obsessive about her. She recognizes the danger, and shuts it down right away whenever he starts talking about them being in a relationship.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
Contacting a SWer on their personal social media is also extremely creepy. If they have a work profile on a platform, fine. But definitely not one under their government name.
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
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3 years ago
Such a sad story, and you just know her only motivation was to support her 5-yr-old at home. Why else would she have anything to do with that crusty old loser?
avatar for mike710
mike710
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3 years ago
@BubbleYum. If you give out your phone number to customers at the club and that number is attached to your social media, you are bound to have that happen. I've stumbled across real stripper names by innocently taking a number in a club. I intentionally don't follow them so that others might get their real names. You have to think twice about how your actions in the club and personal life might run together though.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
When it comes to this issue, the one area where I'd say a lot of dancers need to be more careful and smarter is online security and locking down their personal life details from their professional life. As Mike noted, there have been a few instances where I've gotten a window into a dancer's personal life without asking for or wanting it.

I know a few dancers who have done a good job at protecting their privacy, but I know more who really haven't.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
Dancers who want to give out a number for texting should get one from https://voice.google.com .
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
Most dancers do use burner numbers of some sort. The pro move is to have a separate cash-paid phone rather than a burner app or a Google voice account on your personal device. But some dancers are lazy about remembering which phone number is matched up to a work or personal social media accounts (or other apps), so they link it all to one phone number and that's where it falls apart.

But, to be honest, it's not a "dancer" thing. I have more than a few friends who will complain that their [whatever] app got hacked again, and then I'll ask if they changed their password (answer: no) or if they turned on two-factor authentication (answer: also no). And in those case, I have no sympathy at all.

But those friends aren't sex workers (that I know of...), and aren't as prone to have creepy guys creeping on them.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
This says the accused had a history of domestic violence: https://www.fox4news.com/news/man-arrest… . Needs to be a law banning guys with a history of violence against women from going to strip clubs or getting near sex workers.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
@Mike, I've been doing the Google voice thing for years. But a lot of baby strippers don't understand and give out their real numbers. Some don't even realize Google voice exists.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
•
3 years ago
These are the kind of vibes some give off on tuscl.

But how could he get away with putting a tracking device on her car. That should be a huge red flag for the cops
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
"Needs to be a law banning guys with a history of violence against women from going to strip clubs or getting near sex workers."

Okay ... so how does that law get enforced? Don't get me wrong. I think strip clubs would be better off with those guys not inside of them. But, a lot of guys here won't put up with a driver's license scan at the door, so a background check is a non-starter.

Part of the problem here is the stigmatization of sex work. If sex work was legal (or at least decriminalized), then it becomes easier to pass laws to protect sex workers.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
•
3 years ago
Guys becoming obsessed is a way too common thing. Like it’s been said above, many girls have to walk the line because they earn so much from these guys. I’ve known several strippers over the years that had guys like this, most of the guys were not “well off” by any means, most had never been married either but they’d become obsessed. Way too much.
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
•
3 years ago
This isn't just being obsessed. Not coping with unrequited love or rejection and going through with a planned murderer are very different things.

But the girls know what the guys are like. The risk isn't worth it. They need to know real game. I'd say this wouldn't have happened if she was on a winning team
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
•
3 years ago
One of my favorites at the old 1320 Club II had an obsessed stalker who attempted to follow her home a couple of times. The guy told her that he would "beat the shit out of any other guy that she danced for."

She finally had the club take her off of the published roll so he'd think she had quit and gone somewhere else. She told her trusted customers what night she'd be there after explaining the situation.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
•
3 years ago
Several dancers have told me about their stalkers. Most are just creepy but some are really dangerous.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
•
3 years ago
This is a very sad story. I hope the deceased dances is resting in peace. It is awful how some men can’t separate club interaction with real life.
avatar for WavvyCain
WavvyCain
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3 years ago
This is why many dancers have pimps, for that protection. Now a lot of dancers I know down south are carrying guns etc, I’m all for it.
avatar for doctorevil
doctorevil
•
3 years ago
“ If sex work was legal (or at least decriminalized), then it becomes easier to pass laws to protect sex workers.”

We don’t need more laws to protect sex workers. There are already laws against making threats, stalking, assault, battery, rape, murder, etc. But yes, it should definitely be decriminalized/legalized, and then the sex workers would have less hesitation about reporting incidents to the authorities.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
>One of many news articles:
>www.google.com

Despite him posting this info on instagram and being on reddit, I read several articles and none of them mentioned how they knew each other, that she was a sex worker and how much he had paid her.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
The guy paid her $7k over 2 days in August. From the start, should she have been wary of someone willing to give that much money?
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
Based on the stories I scanned, it looked like she was wary. But, even if a woman goes to the cops right away on something like this, the cops can only move so fast. Meanwhile, it takes minutes to run someone off the road and shoot them.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
By wary, I mean should she have never taken that much money from someone in the first place? Is offering that amount of money a red flag?
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
Sad stuff, and also nuts of how blatantly that man incriminated himself.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
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3 years ago
^^^ I could see you doing this to Rick.
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
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3 years ago
"She told FOX4 her daughter gave one of her friends the license plate number of a vehicle she believed had been following her. In recent weeks she also posted on social media about finding a tracking device on her car. She also told her mother about the device."

https://www.fox4news.com/news/police-man…

I read in another article that she did report the device to police, at least two weeks before she was killed.

So why post about the tracking device on social media while police are investigating? The psycho guy probably saw it and became even more crazy. Sheesh... I really have no idea how young people think these days.

This obsession with putting everything on social media is a very dangerous thing.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
But if Rick is dead, who else can be so easily trolled? Maybe SJG can do the bondage stuff as long as the arms are free and Rick has a keyboard to defend himself 🤔
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
•
3 years ago
^^ I didn’t necessarily mean you’d kill him, just stalk him with tracking devices. Maybe hide Olive Garden gift cards in the cup holder of his car and when he shows up you’d be waiting there for him.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
@misterorange, I watched her video about the discovery of the tracking device. It was more of a warning to others, like a "hey, this happened to me, so be careful and lookout for similar just in case" type of post.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
Here's a copy of the video she had posted. https://youtu.be/Rw9xJx5o7-A
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
Well, Apple and mental health are to blame actually. Clearly, that asshole murderer was not okay in the head.
avatar for bobsuncle
bobsuncle
•
3 years ago
This is a weird tangent, but where is the link that says she found an Apple AirTag on her car? The thing in the video is something much more capable.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
^^^ So... your first mistake is assuming that desertscrub's posts have a rational connection to the content of this thread.
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
•
3 years ago
@BubbleYum
I don't mean to put any of this on her. She was already the victim of a despicable creep even before he killed her. That's certainly not her fault, nor could she have imagined it would lead to cold blooded murder.

But from the video, it's obvious this was before she reported it to police, or else they would have taken it as evidence. Meanwhile, if there was anything like fingerprints or trace DNA on it, she was degrading it by handling it that way, just to film her video.

Regardless of her noble intention to inform others, I just don't see how you find something like that and your first thought is to make a video and post it online.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
This report has more information than most I've read including statements made by the killer.
https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local…

After looking at the reddit pics again it looks like he paid her $10,000 in 2 months from July 28 until September 29th using Apple Pay although the article only mentions him paying her $3,000 through zelle.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
@misterorange

Unfortunately, police departments have a poor track record as far as interactions with sex workers. Whether it’s handling them fairly themselves when making arrests or taking seriously complaints sex workers may have about anybody when they try to come forward and it’s their word against a man.

If she hadn’t posted this stuff online, most likely she would have just been a mysterious body and no news article would have gotten published in the first place.
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
•
3 years ago
^^ Interesting point, nicespice.
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
•
3 years ago
@theniggaformerlyknownas2icee

You wrote and I quote:

“I'd say this wouldn't have happened if she was on a winning team”

Question for you; how would you say you and your “winning team” would have prevented the shooter from killing her while driving her vehicle?

I ask because you and your “winning team” ware unable to protect your “stripper” “ex-girlfriend” from a half Boricua/Greek, pusher/drug dealer “biker” that was able to get her hooked on drugs and take it away from your “winning team...

Would you have used your Dodge to run his Texas truck off the road?
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
•
3 years ago
Holy shit, pigs can fly CJKunt just made a post that makes sense
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
•
3 years ago
^
A shot of truth in that denial cocktail 🍸...

:D
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
•
3 years ago
More information about the he perpetrator:

LinkedIn lists a “Stan (Stanley?) Szeliga whose picture resembles the mug shot of the perp:

A Software Engineer...United States Marine Corps veteran.

Education: Bachelors - Computer Information Science

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-szeliga…
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
Can you believe I got a dislike for saying guys with a history of violence against women should be banned from SCs? Rare case where I do hope LE is up in the discussions.
avatar for TFP
TFP
•
3 years ago
@ilbbaicnl I saw that dislike and immediately went to see who it was. I was hoping Gammanu would explain why he disliked that. CMI stated why it's not a feasible plan, maybe that was Gammanu's thinking? In any case, if there was an effective way to keep these kinds of guys out of the club I'd be all for it.
avatar for blahblahblah23
blahblahblah23
•
3 years ago
I'm still waiting for when it becomes trendier for women to kill men instead.


Sad thing to happen in any case.

A lot of dudes got serious issues with women, but it usually doesn't escalate to murder.
avatar for TFP
TFP
•
3 years ago
Like Nicespice already said, I can't believe how the dude basically told on himself. Was he trying to confess by putting up those screenshots? Or did he really think he was making her look bad? I mean he tagged the police department for Christ sakes. I don't understand his thinking.
avatar for blahblahblah23
blahblahblah23
•
3 years ago
Guys are just mentally retarded when it comes to women. Most are mentally retarded in largely harmless ways but some dudes do give off the vibe of "this motherfucker would kill me so don't set him off". I've had one guy wanting to pay me a good amount to fuck, and I just didn't respond to his texts then he went all psycho on me over the phone.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
Clubs typically ask for ID. Seems like a good idea for convicted violent felons to have a code on their ID, to make it possible to keep them out of certain places. Something unstupid like that, not patterned on the No Fly list. And if a dancer reports trouble with a customer to LE, it simplifies things if he's breaking the law by even getting near her.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
"Clubs typically ask for ID."

That might be true where you are, but not here and not in a lot of places. In a lot of places, they only ask for an ID if you look like you're under the age limit. As I said above, many SC customers will write off a club for scanning IDs. If it's going to made a law or a requirement, then it's going to hurt the SC industry.

The other issue that you'll run into is the fact that if someone is convicted of a violent crime, and they serve a prison sentence, they have paid their debt to society. Now, it's absolutely true that a fair number of these guys come out of the prison system more violent than when they went in. But a lot don't. And the moment you put a visible tag or mark on their driver's license, then there will be a lawsuit, because you're essentially branding them with a scarlet letter.

And, whether or not you agree with that, an effort to visibly tag a driver's license like that will almost certainly fail.

Things that could happen without legislation and the follow-on lawsuits is that clubs could be more proactive when dancers report that a customer is trouble. Also, there needs to be a shift in police culture when dealing with sex workers who are reporting stalkers or other dangerous interactions.
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
•
3 years ago
@blahblahblah23

You wrote and I quote:

“I'm still waiting for when it becomes trendier for women to kill men instead.”

You are going to continue waiting for a long time, women kill like 50% less than men and get even less publicity.

In today internet-news-media America’s killers are treated like celebrities and some women are unusually “sexually attracted” to them.

It might be because some women “love” the media attention they get from their association to someone so “notorious/famous”.

It might be also something to do with some women believing that they will change a man that committed murder, as a form of “self-validation/self-worth”.

A good fictional example exists in the DC universe; Dr Harleen Frances Quinzel aka Harley Quinn infatuation/love for the crazy criminal Jocker.

Many famous murderers have a lot of women “fans” and some hav even married a few.

In any case, in my humble opinion, in this particular case; two people tried to play this hobby/game and one of them ended up feeling/believing that the exchange/experience was not a fair trade and went crazy.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
•
3 years ago
This was a horrible senseless tragedy. A young child lost a mother and a young woman left this earth way too soon.

I also don't blame her for a second. He was in the club and willingly handed over his money. He also should have known how ridiculous his fantasies were given the age difference alone.

The sad reality though is that a romance hustle rarely ends well with lonely and emotional guys who can't easily replace the money. Over the years I've seen guys cry, follow girls around the club like lost puppies and hang out in the parking lot looking to stalk them. I've also heard countless stories about guys trying to follow girls home. IME and IMHO girls who run this type of hustle eventually learn, often the hard way, to target guys who: (1) don't seem so emotionally invested that they might do something stupid; (2) have other things in their lives keeping them grounded (families, jobs requiring long hours and travel, etc.); and (3) don't need the money as much as they do.

But to be crystal clear, I'm not blaming her. She was young and while she probably made some mistakes (missed warnings signs, chose her target poorly, antagonized him on the back-end), none of that remotely justified him murdering her.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
Yes because upper income dudes can’t use their resources to better stalk dancers 🙄

—>“But to be crystal clear, I'm not blaming her. “

That is 100% blaming. Lots of romance “hustles” are the customers hustling their own selves. Seriously, peek in dancer threads about how to get regulars and the answers are usually that the customers decide that of their own accord. You can’t “make” somebody like you more—aside from the basics of looks and personality that only helps to cast a wider net.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
•
3 years ago
This is really the shits!

Need to respect dancer's privacy absolutely.

SJG
avatar for Dave_Anderson
Dave_Anderson
•
3 years ago
Once again I register my opposition to the stupid term "sex worker." How is this term a positive? Its about the coldest, least poetic name someone could come with. Where's the mystery or romance with this term?
avatar for Dave_Anderson
Dave_Anderson
•
3 years ago
Risk and danger come with the job. Like police or fire jobs, its an assumed risk. Thats just reality.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
Dave_Anderson said "Once again I register my opposition to the stupid term 'sex worker.' How is this term a positive? Its about the coldest, least poetic name someone could come with. Where's the mystery or romance with this term?"

And once again you need to be reminded that -- for the dancer, escort, or whatever -- there's not a shred of mystery or romance. It's just a job. Hence, 'sex work'. The sex work industry doesn't exist to coddle your fantasies or ideas about 'mystery' or 'romance' regarding the work. You need to do that all on your own.

Also, that term evolved to face outward to the majority of the public who would normally refer to sex workers as "dirty whores" or some other dehumanizing term. It exists to communicate to people who are aggressively insensitive to sex workers (because they're "dirty whores") that they are people working jobs and trying to make a living, like everyone else.

So, you not liking the term "sex worker" isn't relevant. It's not about you.

"Risk and danger come with the job. Like police or fire jobs, its an assumed risk. Thats (sic) just reality."

So ... speaking of people who are aggressively insensitive to sex workers...

It's interesting that with one breath you want to wrap sex work in the guise of being romantic, mysterious, and poetic, and then in the next breath you're shrugging off things like stalking and murder as "assumed risk." And sure, there is inherent risk involved in sex work, but as customers we can be disgusted by the worst guys operating on *our* side of the sex work equation. We can also be proactive about protecting dancer privacy (especially here) so that we don't inadvertently put a dancer in danger.

Also, it's not remotely like police or fire jobs. Both of those jobs are about purposefully running directly towards danger and dangerous people with the goal of providing help and improving society. I'm not sure there's a lot of women who take jobs as strippers to help flush out the stalkers, rapists, and murderers of the world. There job is to give horny guys a little fun and relief (and then we pay them). They shouldn't have to be in danger from the creepshow guy sitting next to you at the bar who has been staring at a dancer for 10 minutes straight without blinking. So, no, it's not like that at all.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but perhaps you should stick to posting about politics.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
•
3 years ago
@Clueless_Anderson: "Risk and danger come with the job. Like police or fire jobs, its an assumed risk. Thats just reality."

The "reality" is that the major reason for the danger in sex work is the fact that it's illegal. Stalkers and rapists *know* that the women (and men) they stalk and rape are much less likely to go to the police. Even those that do go to the police are routinely ignored or de-prioritized. Our alleged justice system is to largely to blame for the risk and danger experienced by sex workers.

And comparing sex workers to police is just ludicrous. When was the last time you heard of a sex worker killing an innocent person and getting off with barely a slap on the wrist?
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
nicespice:
"Lots of romance “hustles” are the customers hustling their own selves. ... You can’t “make” somebody like you more"


True with most people but pickup artists and con artists do exist and they know how to manipulate people. There are also people that lie about promises they don't intend to keep to get what they want.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
My fav's dealing with an extreme case of this currently (although he doesn't seem like the angry/violent type). She shuts him down whenever he starts talking about them being in relationship. Another dancer tried to cut her out of the picture by telling the guy she loves him. Have to remember, most dancers are done by 35 - 40, at the latest. They have to make the $ while they can. When deciding how much to feed PL delusions, they have to consider their competition, that has no qualms about it.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
"Once again I register my opposition to the stupid term "sex worker." How is this term a positive? Its about the coldest, least poetic name someone could come with. Where's the mystery or romance with this term?"

Are you delusional? Sex worker is an all-encompassing definition of anybody who works within the sex industry. Literally nobody gives a fuck if you like the term or not. It's an adopted term that is recognized by everybody in the industry worldwide. Suck it up and deal with it and then shut the fuck up.

Romance and mystery? This is a fucking job you stupid ass. I'm wondering if you're going to be the next trick who's going to hunt down and murder somebody since you seem to be delusional over what sex work exactly entails and the expectations behind a sex worker.

SEX WORKER SEX WORKER SEX WORKER SEX WORKER 😘
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
•
3 years ago
"Risk and danger come with the job. Like police or fire jobs, its an assumed risk. Thats just reality."

My God. What a piece of shit you clearly are to make that comparison with sex workers. Please go on unalive yourself because you are already absolutely clueless and mindless, you dumb fuck.

avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
Yahtzee said—>“True with most people but pickup artists and con artists do exist and they know how to manipulate people. There are also people that lie about promises they don't intend to keep to get what they want.”

What personal stories do you have dealing with pick up artists and con artists? Just out of personal curiosity.

I am interested in hearing your perspective. But in the meantime excuse me while I…

SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
If you do too much sex work you get taken for granted and your income drops to $40 per hour.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
•
3 years ago
===> "That is 100% blaming. Lots of romance “hustles” are the customers hustling their own selves. Seriously, peek in dancer threads about how to get regulars and the answers are usually that the customers decide that of their own accord. You can’t “make” somebody like you more—"

Spoken like someone who struggles to connect with other people. Not every girl is like you though. Some become very good at getting in a guy's head and goosing his imagination a bit or even a lot. Of course it requires him to suspend disbelief at some level, but the most skilled romance hustlers make it easy for the mark to do so.

Now to be fair, I don't run across as many girls who can run this hustle as I used to, but they still exist. Too many of the girls nowadays have the attention span of a fly, which is not conducive to making connections with their targets.

But not remotely blaming. She didn't deserve to die just because she hustled him.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
3 years ago
I'm pretty sure that BubbleYum said exactly what I said ... but better.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
•
3 years ago
BubbleYum is killing it. 👍👍

The only risks and dangers that come with stripping are greasy poles, rickety stages, and defective high heels.

Thinking that getting stalked is part of it too sounds like something a creepy stalker would say.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
•
3 years ago
Nice try Ricky. Trying to deflect in the hopes I will defend my ability to connect with people or lack thereof does NOT take back your suggestion a dancer go around verifying a customer’s net worth to avoid being killed. And that you WERE indeed blaming her for getting herself killed.

What’s the safety spot where a man won’t get violent, because if he has enough money, he won’t be tempted to murder when he gets grumpy, 5million net worth and own two properties at bare minimum?

Or if we are supposed to track how much meaning (or lack of it) is in their life, like you also suggested, and that is regular common sense due diligence to make sure we don’t get murdered: okay yeah let’s figure out their home situation.

Sure maybe the dude who hangs out at the club every Friday night all night (and even more than that) and “everyone knows” where he clubs doesn’t have much of a home life, and the club is his substitute for the emptiness he faces. THAT is obviously somebody who doesn’t have much keeping him grounded outside the club in their personal life and could be prone to getting emotional. Okay I can see the point there.

But otherwise…what can one do? There are others who slip under the radar more than that. Maybe call up the school PTA or neighborhood HOA to see how much the customer volunteers? Verifying how much they volunteer at the animal shelter?

Feel free to give more insight on that front.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
•
3 years ago
To me, average strip club scamminess seem about the same as average car salespeople scamminess. When the Asian car lines got big in the US, the additional competition made dealerships get less scammy. If we all make an effort to not act ugly at the club, people will be less likely to see strip clubs as something ugly they don't want in their city or town. More clubs will be allowed to open, more competition, less scamminess.
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
•
3 years ago
"What personal stories do you have dealing with pick up artists and con artists? Just out of personal curiosity.

I am interested in hearing your perspective. But in the meantime excuse me while I…

SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK..."

??? I don't know what you mean by your last sentence. I wasn't commenting on the validity of the term sex work(er).

I don't have any personal experience with con artists. I've just seen examples on shows like 48 hours. Sometimes the story includes the victim stating how charming the other person could be and how they knew what to say to make them feel special.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
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3 years ago
^ lol no, that was me joining in with BubbleYum to troll Dave Anderson , since the term offends him so much 😀

SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK SEX WORK
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
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3 years ago
Carol Leigh first coined the term Sex Worker, to break down the boundaries so that they are not going against each other, like "I am a dancer whereas she is a prostitute."

And to give sex workers rights as workers, so that they will not be seen as victims or persons needing rescuing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Leig…

SJG
avatar for yahtzee74
yahtzee74
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3 years ago
"Risk and danger come with the job. Like police or fire jobs, its an assumed risk. Thats just reality."

I don't think it's wrong to say that risk comes with the (stripper) job but it's more like the risk faced by other entertainers, athletes, musicians, and actors who also have stalkers. Maybe it is more likely to happen with a stripper do to the more personal interaction in a strip club.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
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3 years ago
Legal brothels and legal strip club brothels would on the whole be safer than OTC set ups with strangers.

Decriminalization makes sex work safer all around.

SJG
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
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3 years ago
@Nicespice: You're difficulty in processing other people's emotions and understanding their motivations is EXACTLY the point. For you this is just a theoretical exercise and from that perspective you're right, in no universe did she deserve to die, regardless of what she did, including taunting him when she had cleaned him out.

But when you're dealing with a potentially adversarial situation, you'd better have enough situational awareness to figure out the facts on the ground. Just like I don't go strolling past drug corners in South L.A. yelling racial epithets, neither should a dancer choose a lonely broke ass psychopath to run a romance hustle on and then taunt him once she cleaned him out. In neither case does anyone deserve to die for the offense, but that doesn't make the activity any more safe.

Oh, and don't be obtuse. She had been dealing with him for some time, more than enough to get a handle on his emotional state and overall financial position. Again she didn't deserve to die just because she was stupid, but sometimes it happens whether it's right or not.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
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3 years ago
"do strippers/escorts usually have boyfriends or tend to avoid boyfriends/relationships due to their career? what kind of guys do they date or marry cause at least on the internet anyone who marries or dates a stripper/escort is considered a big cuck..."

I can't speak for every sex worker out there, only for my own experiences and what I have witnessed with my friends. Many of my stripper friends have boyfriends or are married. When it comes to my stripper friends who do extras though, they either don't talk about relationships or they probably aren't in one anyway.

I think it would also depend on the individual's sexuality and how open-minded their partner, if they have one, is.

I used to work with this really beautiful 20-year-old stripper who was engaged. She's bisexual and her fiance didn't mind her seeing other girls. Their compromise was to hire high-end escorts from Eros and Slixa so they could both enjoy themselves and support sex workers at the same time (and remember, she is a sex worker paying other sex workers with sex worker money). That went on for several months until she stopped dancing and became a high-end escort herself. And then they finally got married and she recently moved to Chicago where she is still a high-end escort and, simultaneously, happily married. Her husband doesn't go with her to any of her dates or drop her off, etc. She does report in with him so he knows she's safe though.

Unfortunately, that's the only story I have to tell about any escorts in a relationship.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
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3 years ago
I use to hang out sometimes with one fav (dancer) and her husband. He was basically a pretty cool dude, generally a great step-dad to her son. He was a high earner, but got stripped of his assets in an ugly divorce. She wasn't one to blow money in general, but wanted their house to look like the ones in cable real estate porn. He wasn't in a position to pay for that as quickly as she wanted it, so he agreed to her dancing. He was a martial arts expert, so had no need to prove his manhood by dominating/owning a woman. Except in one way, which was a big problem in their otherwise good marriage. He expected her to be his low-end hooker. He'd get really shitheaded with her if he was horny, and she just wasn't feeling it at that particular moment.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
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3 years ago
I literally cannot answer your first question because I am not a voice for all strippers and escorts. Obviously, it varies person to person.

As for my escort friend, the last I knew she was seeing male clients and couples. I know she's happily married because she's my best friend. I don't think I need to answer any more questions about it because it's actually none of your business.

Most strippers I know do get offended and quite pissed off if a customer asks them to meet outside of the club. If they don't insinuate or offer that those services are available in the club or outside of the club, then they most likely will not be happy to be asked that.

I'm not sure if you're trolling or if you're just completely oblivious to what happens within this range of sex work, but I think I'm done answering your questions as they are becoming out of line and asking me to invade my friend's privacy.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
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3 years ago
Also, this thread is about someone who was murdered. If you have those particular questions, you can create your own discussion thread asking them to where I will not participate. Stay on topic or create your own thread with those questions.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
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3 years ago
^^^ Slaveboss is a troll. Take a look at his posting history.

His goal is you wasting a lot of time trying to answer a non-stop list of inane and/or off-topic questions.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
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3 years ago
Ignore Slave the SCL troll.
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