What is your biggest let down from a club?

nicespice
I’ll start:

So back sometime either late 90s/early 2000s, my baby sitter was driving me around. Up ahead is this huge sign that said “Wild Zebra” I pointed it out and said that I wanted to go look at zebras. The baby sitter cringed and and told me there are no zebras there. I asked why. She said it’s a place that has naked women. I replied that has to get boring, because who wants to just stare at other people? There are people everywhere. They probably have to have zebras sometimes. She then told me she was done talking about this, and I spent the rest of the car ride thinking about zebras.

Damn deceptive businesses. 😭

39 comments

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twentyfive
3 years ago
Same thing would have happened if you saw a sign for Spearmint Rhino or Crazy Horse
LOL
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
I'll cosplay a zebra if you'll be my sugar baby.
doctorevil
3 years ago
The only Wild Zebra club I have seen was in Providence, RI. Yeah, no Zebras, but it was pretty wild.
JamesSD
3 years ago
Cute story. I should tell Cheetahs they really need to get some cheetahs.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Going to The Block in Baltimore held some surprises, but not all of them bad. I first went to Hustler's, which I foolishly thought would have dancers who looked like centerfolds. It was fancy looking inside. But one of those clubs with only a few indifferent, unhealthy looking dancers, that you presume have money laundering as the main purpose. I think I shined in less than 20 minutes. Next club I saw was Norma Jean's. So of course I'm thinking Marilyn Monroe, blond hair/wigs, pleated white skirts, maybe a machine on stage that will blow air upwards. But it was all AA dancers. But I don't have a racial preference, so that was fine. It was the first time I'd seen that rap club thing where the dancer grinds for about 30 seconds for a dollar until the PL runs out of singles. Which looks really sad when you're not use to it, like a strip club in the Mad Max world. I was starting to think The Block was all clip joints. But then this truly stunning 6 foot tall dancer appeared and rolled up. She had a Raquel Welch figure. Made it one of my lifetime best nights in a strip club. Made me consider moving to Baltimore. Yeah, that good.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Based on my experiences, I'd estimate about 30% of strip clubs actually lose money, and only exist to launder money.
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
My biggest let downs from clubs are happy memories of people I met there. The wasted lives.
datinman
3 years ago
Wasted lives give you happy memories?
theeastcoast757
3 years ago
On Wednesday a new bartender short changed me that was a let down I haven’t had that happen before but it probably won’t be the last time.
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
Justintolook .... happy memories of people who wasted their lives
jackslash
3 years ago
I would like to see some wild zebras or some cheetahs.

FKK Sharks in Frankfurt has an aquarium, but there are no sharks in it.

ElDuderino_AZ
3 years ago
Nothing to do with a club, but it was a monumental disappointment nonetheless...

Last night I plugged in my phone, poured some whiskey from Northern Ireland...and then some more...and passed out on the couch while watching the Woodstock 99 doc on HBO Max. This morning, I woke up, checked my phone, and saw that I missed "what you doing" and then a couple hours later, "u up?". Ugh! Damn it!! She looks kinda like Rhianna, but with DDs.
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
I think it took me a while to learn to accept how aggressive the women are about getting money out of you.

SJG
Cristobal
3 years ago
There was plenty of sinning at Synn, occasionally I occasionally found paradasiac experience at Paradise, and Bliss was blissful so my biggest disappointment with regards to strip clubs was the lack of Asians at Hong Kong, I got over my disappointment rather quickly.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
I'm disappointed strip clubs don't all have have giant tanks full of hungry sharks they push a zebra in every half hour.
ElDuderino_AZ
3 years ago
The Candy Store in Phoenix doesn't actually sell candy...

Actually I think my two biggest disappointments have to do with the same club (my favorite one). One disappointment is me having way too much to drink and only having very hazy memories of a few nights where things happened that I really really really wish I could remember better.


The other letdown isn't really a letdown, more of an overall bummer; one of the managers there died last year, probably had Corona. That's sad enough. But apparently the guy was a fan of me; when I went in at night, a lot of times it would be dead (mid-week), so he'd bullshit w/me a little bit, comp drinks all the time. I remember one night a girl there had been texting me, told me to come in, it was dead and I'd get hooked up with drinks. I was already smashed and had the day off the next day, so there wasn't any argument from me. Got an Uber for the five-minute drive, walked in, and realized I was the only customer, and it was her and one other girl I didn't know. Bartender was closing his register so the manager gave me a couple heavy pours of Glenlivet 12 and the girl I didn't know was pushing to go upstairs (like double VIP). Manager told me a $ figure, I think something like $700 for 30 mins with both girls, and any extra tip I wanted to give. I said I couldn't do that, and when he asked how much I was willing or could, I told him I could swing $300, knowing full well he'd never go for it (I had no intention of going upstairs). He asked the girls if they were ok with that, they were...(no idea how much of that each of them got). We were up there for just short of an hour, until closing time at 2am. Unfortunately it was one of those nights where I bad too much and don't remember the entire thing. From what I do remember, it was an incredible night...ha, I remember a couple of fun contests... just wish I remembered more!
Muddy
3 years ago
Not a strip club, but BJ’s wholesale club was not quite what I expected going in.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Well of course strip clubs are always disappointing, in the same sense that Diet Coke is always disappointing relative to regular Coke. Truly good sex is with someone who wants you back.
loper
3 years ago
Kittens. I wouldn't mind a club filled with furry felines but alas kittens is code for naked frisky humans.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
To free associate with the kittens in the VIP, I watched the old John Waters movie Pink Flamingos with a dancer a few months ago. She was totally traumatized by the three-way with a chicken scene. This is somebody who worships Rob Zombie as a god. She couldn't explain exactly what was so disturbing about it. Waters did admit in the commentary that the chicken ended up getting barbequed on the set, as he had no budget for catering for his early films.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
You may notice I free associate a lot, sorry, can't really control myself.
nicespice
3 years ago
I’m pretty sure Scrubby’s biggest let down was trying to go to Shotgun Willies in Denver. Nobody was exposing their willies, and thus why he holds such a grudge against Colorado. 🤔
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Oddly, there was a club in Rhode Island called "Wild Zebra", and my biggest disappointment was walking into that club hoping to find hot dancers.
MackTruck
3 years ago
I am let down dat Hooters doesn't have $5 lapperz
Warrior15
3 years ago
My biggest letdown happened in Tootsie's in Miami two years ago. We had a meet-up with several TUSCL posters. nicespice showed up. Which wan't a letdown, BUT she was dressed like she was going to a church social.

Just kidding girl. You were cute as a bug. I would like to run into you again sometime. :-)
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ LOL I was going to post the same thing
And he’ll yeah Spicey is as cute as a button
😊😊
goldmongerATL
3 years ago
My biggest disappointment about Hooters in the Atlanta area was that sometime in the 90's Church Ladies protested, so they made them start wearing bras. At my favorite Hooters the best seats were at the bar. the bartender wore a cropped shirt and flashed her tits every time she reached for a glass in the overhead rack. For a tip the waitresses would hula hoop hanging upside down from a bar over a table. Sometimes their tops would fall up to their shoulders.

Those were the days!

For the OP, maybe your babysitter did not want to take you inside Wild Zebras because everybody knew her name.

wallanon
3 years ago
My biggest letdown with Wild Zebra in San Antonio is everytime it reopens under a new name it's worst than before.

Probably the biggest club disappointment against my expectations in the US was Market Street Cinema in San Francisco. But I hit that club way after its prime and hadn't perfected my club routine yet. Learned a lot from that misadventure. To me that's different than being overrated, which is a whole nother story.
goldmongerATL
3 years ago
Man I remember going to Market Street once while on business in San Fran. I think it was Market Street. Was that the place that was literally movie theater seating and there were VIP rooms backstage? It was bewildering to try and figure out how the place worked. I remember wasting money because the place had its own unique game that it played with levels of VIP.
ChesterCheetah
3 years ago
I’ll play😀
The last stripper bitch I banged wouldn’t let me cum on her face 🤪
wallanon
3 years ago
"Was that the place that was literally movie theater seating and there were VIP rooms backstage?"

That was the one. I doubled down on the bad decisioning at MSC by agreeing to a two-girl VIP.
gSteph
3 years ago
Not many let downs when your local club has what you want.
I have been disappointed when a fav wasn't there on a day she's scheduled. Nothing worse than that.
Oh, one time a dancer said she didn't want her breasts touched.
NJBalla
3 years ago
A dancer pulled the i'd do FS but "its my time of the month" lie. I came back the next week and she acted like she had amensia about it. Sad thing was I didn't really care for the FS with it. Loved the barside talk and billy joel cover, but the lies broke the fantasy of it all. She would cringe to know how much she lost from me in the past months.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Yes the SF clubs I went to were seriously meh. Seems like most of the dancers had butt implants, which I found very unattractive and unnatural looking. I did find one goddess-beautiful black-filipina dancer. Got a one expensive song in VIP, which she danced lame-tame. She of course recited the clip joint mantra, it will be so so much better it you get the long really expensive dance. The VIP was unsurprisingly empty. They had customers, but they came to drink, go to the tip rail, motor boat, and squeeze butts which seemed to have very little actual butt in them. I think maybe massage parlors have take a lot of business that would go to strip clubs in other places, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. The clubs are for expensive heavy drinking with a small side of commercial sex.
Huntsman
3 years ago
I wont name the club but was returning from a hunting trip, all rammy after a week of hunting, and with money to burn. I stopped at a club and the lightest stripper in the place had to be pushing 300 pounds. It was so bad she came over and offered free dances and I still declined. I was afraid of what may have come flying out of her ass if she pointed that thing my direction and tried to twerk.

It was a multi day drive and I’d heard good things about another club along the way. I figured I’d make up for the night before. But they were closed one day a week. It was the day I stopped by.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Disappointed isn't an issue for us long-term PLs. We're pleasantly surprised when there's zebras, but don't expect them.
Mate27
3 years ago
I went to Bourbon Street Circus and saw no animals. Then I went to the Hiliter and found nothing to write with. Finally ended up at Band AIDS and oh my god that was hurtful!
blahblahblah23
3 years ago
For a tip the waitresses would hula hoop hanging upside down from a bar over a table.

^I never even realized one can hula hoop upside down.
623
3 years ago
@nicespice - scrub has a grudge against everyone and everything, he didn’t used too then someone shit in his corn flakes …..
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