Do Your Siblings/Family Know You're A PL?

No one knows my lecherous ways. No family, no friends. Only people on this site and people that meet me in a club.

Only my brother knows - he's my only sibling - he's 3 years older and been married 22 years and has kids so we've never clubbed together bc of his circumstances, and his wife being a ball-buster (I think the shit would more than hit the fan if he clubbed and she found out - she has a volatile personality plus is vert jealous and insecure, although she has other good traits) - my bro did some clubbing in the late 80s but he always went with friends and wasn't big into buying dances - if he was single likely we'd do some clubbing together.

None that are still living 🤐

My brother knows I club but doesn't really know how hard I've done it nor the extent of the small-fortune I've spent

"... None that are still living ..."

They knew too much for their own good

"None that are still living"

o h s h i t

@Papi Nah my Pops knew and so did my uncle but they've since passed, everyone else in my fam, is either much younger, or dependent on me in some way, so I prefer they not be my confidantes

My first wife died over 20 years ago. I have two sons. One was in college in another state and one was still living at home with me. After a while I decided I wanted to see some half naked ladies so I went to a local club. I was working as a contractor remodeling a Montgomery Wards store. At the club I met one of the sales girls moon lighting as a dancer. She asked me not to say anything at the store and of course I didn’t. The other surprise was that the waitress was my son’s girlfriend at the time. She was afraid to come near me.

I 'came out' to my wife after a year or so (only been playing 3+ years), and to the fact that I follow tuscl.
She's not thrilled, but okay with this.

My son and daughter both know. I won't say the approve but rather just accept it. They even tease me about it. My son and I did close the infamous Memphis Platinum Plus 3 nights in a row almost 30 years ago but he isn't into it anymore.

My son even knows about the gal I am seeing OTC. It's great not having to lie to the ones you love.

@EveHartley

I will play along and answer your questions.

Do Your Siblings/Family Know You're A PL?

So you think we are PLs? Just because we have a stinking job that we hate, a family that doesn't respect us?

Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something.

Every morning when we wake up, we know it's not going to get any better until we go back to sleep again.

But we are not PLs. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life.

And the fact that we haven't put a gun to our mouths, because we go to gentleman’s clubs and our siblings/family don’t know, makes us winners.

Do any of your relatives know you're a strip club goer?

NO

And if so, have they/ do they ever go out with you?

NO

That is exactly why I like this website. I don't talk about it with anyone. Give site gives me a chance to do just that.

No one knows. Not even friends, save a few friends that I have met through the hobby. A few people I have met have asked to go to other venues with me, such as skiing or flying. As much as I would enjoy hanging out with them and trading stories over bourbon and beer, I decline all of those invitations, as it puts things too close to home.

Actually, I have a reputation as being the wild child of the family and most all would not condemn me. Indeed, there are a few other wild ones in the family and friends who qualify that I would like to share the hobby with, but just cannot take the risk.

My biggest fear is that a cousin who speaks Spanish, works in immigration, and is more of a wild man than I, might be in TJ at the same time as I am. He hasn't admitted it, but (after consuming a substantial quantity of bourbon) has hinted at having spent time in the zone. I am sure that he would not divulge my secret knowingly, but he might spill after imbibing.

Or one of my sons, who has inherited my wild ways. We went clubbing once for his 21st birthday, but he seemed more interested in the beer than the women. He has a good paying job, but is too cheap to buy dances and has vowed to stay out of the clubs to avoid being tempted. OTOH, he is a good looking guy with a string of girlfriends, so likely he is not tempted.

I have often weighed the risk of being discovered and the consequences versus the reward of memories I build clubbing and mongering. It is worth the risk.

What shadowcat said about not lying to one's loved ones.

My wife knows exactly what I'm about, and she has no problem with it. My daughter knows I club, but I don't think she knows what goes on. My brother suspects. I think my son might know, but he's besotted with his wife, so he doesn't really care.

ahh yes the memphis platinum plus club. a guy with his whole entire family bough me a drink in there. he was with his wife, son and future daughter in law. pops and i bonded as we discussed about the time he worked in nyc. he worked as a truckdriver ove at da bronx. never ever again would he ever go back. had a few laughs.

my guy friends know i go to the clubs. some of the girls knew too at one of my older jobs. they seemed cool with it.

my family and friends knows I go to stripclubs. they just don’t know how much.

@shadow , that is wholesome as fuck.

@CJ , you know I'm a PL too, right?

Family and relatives? No. Parents, siblings and cousins don't know. None of them accompany me (wouldn't want parents with me anyway), some of them would look down on it, and others wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut, so no point in sharing.

Totally OT of OP's question re friends but I'll go there anyway. There's 4 pals I've clubbed with, and upsides and downsides have been:

1) First guy lives far away but in years after his divorce we'd go when he was occasionally in town. He's got an alcohol problem, one time got kicked out of a club, another time lost his wallet at club, other times he would just disappear and he'd ultimately appear back at hotel after 3am. Other problem linked to alcohol problem is alcohol lubricates his jaw and can't keep mouth shut when piss drunk. He's now remarried and occasionally goes with his wife (rail tipping only, she'd be jealous of him getting dances) and with his son but because none of them can keep mouths shut I don't go with them and don't cop to it when he asks me if I still go.

2) 2nd guy lives few states away and we club when I business travel in his city. Great fun to club with and his lips are sealed, wish I had opportunity to get to his city more often.

3) 3rd guy clubbed once w me, we had a great time. Says dying to to again but won't because he's weighed risk and his marriage would be over. Found out later his phone has share my location with his wife and all kids, I said you dumbass if we ever go again your phone stays at work or in car.

4) 4th guy is main clubbing pal, we go whenever in each other's city. He could have joined me the one time I went to TJ but didn't because was too freaked out about the border, too bad for him because it was great fun and he speaks Spanish.

So.e of them do

Some of them do

"...some of them would look down on it, and others wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut, so no point in sharing."

Pretty much my situation. The majority of my immediate family are super hardcore Christians of various types and denominations, so naturally, they would not be happy to hear that I'm hanging out at such vicinities.

And the relatives that aren't super religious are super big mouths. They tell everything about everyone's business - including business that should have been kept between one or two people. I learned this the hard way too many times growing up and pretty much don't share any news about my life to my folks now because my parents or grandparents' reactions have been very negative to even some positive or harmless stuff that I've done or said.

I come from a traditional/conservative Hispanic family on both sides (mom & dad) - that I know of hardly anyone in my family drinks (except socially and even then many don't even do that), off the top of my head don't know any that smoke, and don't know any that like to gamble, and even divorce is rare - so I'd be looked at with disappointing eyes if they knew my PLing ways.

--@EveH: "Pretty much my situation. The majority of my immediate family are super hardcore Christians . . . would not be happy to hear that I'm hanging out at such vicinities . . . And the relatives that aren't super religious are super big mouths."

I hear ya. World would be such a better place with less judgment and more discretion.

First of all I don't think of myself as a PL. I'm happily married with friends and a good job. I don't go to SCs because I can't get it any where else. I go because I don't want any mess. There's a woman at work with great tits who shows me that she's interested all the time. But she wants a relationship. I just want to touch her tits. I pay strippers for no nonsense.

Second, For about a decade I only told friends, Then I started feeling really guilty and told my wife. Once I assured her that there is zero chance of me leaving her for a stripper she became cool with it.

No, and no. My family is small - and they don’t know. I’m sure they don’t want to know. They are devout Catholics - and it wouldn’t sit well with them.

My ex wife knew I went to clubs - and that’s why we split. I was an asshole - and I didn’t stop clubbing. So, I’m still clubbing, and she’s luckily moved on from my mess. She’s a great person - and she didn’t deserve that shit.

So - lets just keep this between us....

Excellent topic. Only family that knows I'm a PL is my brother. He's 13 years younger than me and thus, doesn't have the money and doesn't care to visit strip clubs with me. As a matter of fact we both do the annual Vegas trip together and I always ask him to come to a strip club with me and I'll buy him some dances. But for the past 4 years it's never happened. He's always busy doing the conventional twenty something age stuff and doesn't want to join his early forties old fart of a brother in the den of PLs and seductresses looking to vacuum money out of pockets by getting groped and grinded. Maybe I gotta wait till I'm in my mid fifties and he's in his early forties for him to finally take me up on my offer.

For everyone else, it's like what Warrior said. No one really knows, which is why it's refreshing to come to this site and discuss the type of situations we PLs run into that others will be familiar with.

@EveHartley

From Merriam Webster:

Pathetic adjective

1. having a capacity to move one to either compassionate or contemptuous pity
2. marked by sorrow or melancholy : SAD
3. pitifully inferior or inadequate “the restaurant's pathetic service”
4. ABSURD, LAUGHABLE “a pathetic costume”

Loser noun

1. a person or thing that loses especially consistently. “The team had a reputation for being a loser year after year.
2. a person who is incompetent or unable to succeed. “Don't waste your time on that loser.”
3. also : something doomed to fail or disappoint. “his position is a loser, politically”

You are definitely not a PL

:)

Humans, men and women, have a natural and healthy desire to be sexual.

Many young girls are well-informed and know to respect their bodies and understand that developing as a sexual woman is a natural and enjoyable part of becoming and being an adult.

You are a good human being; you are young, sweet and innocent, not involving evil intent or motive, I find that adorable.

Please don’t change and don’t worry, be happy.

Only my SB and few friends know

No, they don’t know. But it’s not like I hide it either. It’s just not the type of thing that comes up in conversations that often

Yes, my family knows because I was damn proud of what I did, my family knew, my friends knew, and even my workmates knew, idgaf what they thought about it: my life, my money and as long as I was not hurting anybody who cares what I did.

Some of my family have told me they want to go but they always back out (a bunch of pussies), one family wanted to go with me to TJ but on the morning right before getting ready to leave he said he could not find his passport, his loss.

Lol you kidding? They'd all shit themselves if they ever found out. To say that no one suspects would be a huge understatement. Women don't go to stripclubs, right? :D

I had an awkard situation where at a team lunch I chipped in my part of the bill with twelve 1 dollar bills. I lied and said it was just a coincidence, to which coworkers smirked and started to share strip club stories. I said I had never been to one.

@Cristobal, this is the energy I need in my life.

@lopaw. Absolutely not. In what fantasy land does that even happen?

I'm a few years younger than Shadowcat. All of my remaining family are back east. None of them know.
Here in MO only a couple friends know. Years ago I met a few fellow PLs from another website. That's it!

No / best to keep it security level3 - me only.

Here’s one reason why.

A friend told his wife he went to strip clubs. After she say his Ricks mug. His wife replied “they are such whores, losers probably with VD. What do you see in them. The men they date are chucks or pimping them.” He said “ well they are young, beautiful, half naked, and inhibited (things dear wife you are not). Later he heard glass breaking as the wife tossed the Ricks mug out the car.

Don’t call us sc players PL. I have had many strippers as mistresses / concubines whose bf or husband was an unknowing cuck. One, a fav her entire 5 yr third marriage. She stopped stripping slightly she got married but the SD relationship continued well after the marria ended. When she got pg by a boy toy 13 yr younger / moved in w her she wanted do it up to 3rd trimester but I passed did not wantido that. Couple months later sessions resumed. Lots good sexy hundreds photos my archive.

The only family that knows is my dearly beloved TUSCL family and that's the way I plan to keep it.

Corr / uninhibited (strippers). I have had lots good sex w strippers both otc and itc. My dividends more than financed. Many had bf, husbands, baby dads (unknowing cucks). My view the relation between player and SB is of course play for pay but in many ways like a Pilot (the guy) and navigator (the sb) relationship on a combat jet. An sc player (payer) flys jets (strippers) vs prop jobs (traditional dating). My advice guys keep your SC hobby from a wife or GF. The guy (boy toy) in the story above I doubt him or his parents know his com law wife / baby mama was an extras girl and SB to older man.

I have been single all of my life. For about 40 years I traveled for business and spent many hours in strip clubs all over the South. Except for my deeply religious parents I was open about my strip club visits. My parents are gone and no siblings, but all of my friends know about my strip club activity. A few of my female friends find it disgusting, but most of my friends want to here all the details. They are especially interested in any “extras” experiences. I am lucky I don’t have to hide it. Could care less who knows.

@EveHartley

Remember the quote by Benjamin Franklin: “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”

I say nothing to family and friends. They all think I'm a straight arrow. One of the attractions of TUSCL is that I can share my strip club experiences without being judged or criticized.

No. And also no.

I would not to reveal it to non SC hobbyists. You certainly don’t want to co workers especially women.

The only non-SC hobbyist I've told is my best friend of 14 years. And even then, I didn't tell her until my fourth year dancing. She found my Instagram page (with all of my work selfies and touring photos of strip club buildings when I traveled.) and followed it... but said nothing.
Then one day she finally asks. "So... what do you really do for work?" She may have already known, but she's definitely chill with it.

I even took her one night to dinner at Gold Club just so I could see how she observed the atmosphere and get her opinion on the girls. She's as straight as a cooked spaghetti noodle, just like me.

They know but what they just kind of roll their eyes. I'm a grown ass man, I could care less either way. I'm single no kids so a lot of people it's just kind of normal.

Do any of your relatives know you're a strip club goer?

Not that I know of.

And if so, have they/ do they ever go out with you?

No, but if they were interested I'd go with them and tone my fun down.

Yes and no. My wife likes to go to strip clubs to “see the pretty ladies”. But, none of my family/friends know that I enjoy it as much as I do.

I never go to clubs locally, only when I travel. All my family/friends know I am a serial dater that will never remarry again, but there would definitely be judgement about pfp. It would likely adversely effect my civilian dating pool.

Except for my male friends and cousins, my professional peers, my Mom and my wife no one knows.

Yes, I was sort of an open book - to a fault, I know. I caulked it up to normal male appetite, chasing girls, dating, and all that. I never really thought of it as pathetic. These days I am more guarded.

No. Most probably wouldn’t care but I’m not one to be all that newsworthy to anyone so I keep things to myself.

I never tried to hide my strip clubbing from anyone, I even joke about it with people I know.

My ex-wife has gone with me. Other than that no one!
😵

I used to go with friends until one of them told my girlfriend. Now, I go alone. Fuck that guy.

@bruceleeroy. Nobody can tell your girlfriend if you go with your girlfriend!

But seriously. What a snitch. ):

My single favorite strip club experience ever was with my wife and when we got inback in the car some 5 hours later I said: "How was it"? Her response: "I had multiple orgasms with 2 different dancers so pretty good". Sad to say that as she approaches 61 she will no longer go, but I go with her approval when we're home and on vacation.