OT: Road Shitters

Agree with the truck stops generally better than fast food places but in a pinch Cracker Barrel is not bad

rick my brother, like you I am dismayed by the scatological content on this this site. But since the question was posed by a rick and therefore intended to elevate the conversation I will share.

As you know, my sense of smell is incredibly acute, so clean restrooms are important. I concur with your assessment. As I’m sure you know, waffle houses are simply unacceptable. I stopped in a Waffle House at 3am and it was unacceptable; I had to force the staff to clean it by threatening to go wildebeest on them.

On the other hand, shit can be a source of humor in the right context. For example, you identify some idiot that deserves a little something but isn’t really worth going all wildebeest on. Skifredo would be a good example of such a creature. How do you deal with that?

Simple. Take a shit on their porch! ROAR!!!

Of course, it is well-established that Skifredo is a homeless 🦀 that lives in a box behind a Starbucks. So taking a shit outside his cardboard box is hardly worth the effort. But I hope I have illustrated the general principle. 😉

They some grocery stores

I've never found a bad bathroom in a Sheetz.

@ATAC: good to know given how many of them are on the FL to NY route

I’ve found Hilton has good shitters, both in the lobby and your room.

Agree with rick that truck stops are a good bet, particularly if co-located with gas station. Might as well be productive on your stops.

I prefer to use the interstate rest areas when nature calls. GA between ~ Calhoun and Macon suck, as does much of KY (both wrt I75). There's 170 miles where you play fast food roulette, or else pull over and utilize the "honey cup". I75 in FL is decent with rest area interval.

I'll go against rick, and recommend McDonalds among the fast food chains- they almost always have a real restroom, as opposed to Wendy's, many Subways, and some older KFC's that have lockable bathrooms with single toilet where 1 individual could tie up bathroom for a spell while your teeth are swimming, or your bowel bazooka is about to let loose. Not to mention the pita of getting on/off interstate and going through the stoplight gauntlet.

I never stop at rest areas.

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I don't travel much, and not much of a road-warrior (if it's a long drive I rather fly if I can rather than drive a lot of miles).

It'd been a long-time since I used rest-areas due to a long-drive, but recently I used some of the rest-areas on the Florida-Turnpike/I-75 and was impressed - very large facilities and clean, multiple chain fastfood places to eat, spacious clean bathrooms, lots of parking, well-lit, a ton of gas-pumps well spaced-out, big well-stocked gas-station mini-mart; definitely and upgrade from what I remember back in the day.

w.r.t. Starbucks, the advantage is that there's lots of them around (unless you are near the hood) - but as minnow mentioned, most of the one's I've used are often one person at a time, and some are just one bathroom for both men and women, and some even have a combination-lock where you are not supposed to used it unless you-are-a-customer/have-bought-something - and add to that a lot of people hanging-out, means Starbucks are a so-so option.

None of you guys have ever shit in a hole you dug yourself in the sand and it shows. lol!

^^^^^^ I have dug hole in hard dirt and shit in them!

SJG

But yes it is true, with some of these guys you would need a power backhoe to dig a big enough hole.

SJG

prevert, you must be a Felis catus (aka Felis domesticus). Even though you little fellers aren’t badass enough to be ricks, I have a lot of respect for the things you make your hairless ape servants.

I once tried the old sandbox gag on this hairless ape whore (she was actually John Smith’s DS). I filled the hotel bathtub with kitty litter then I was all “I took a shit in the sandbox, clean it out with a slotted spoon” and she did! Heh...heh...heh...Roar!

Kind of disgusting, but sometimes you’ve got to fuck your hairless ape whores and sometimes you’ve got to fuck with your hairless ape whores.

Amiright or amiright?

I know rick mentioned the east coast mostly but for anybody that doesn't know.

There is a place. A magical place - found in multiple parts of Texas.

You will never shit in a cleaner bathroom.

Your life will be changed. Coffee will simply taste like hot bean water afterwards. Gravy will be known to be nothing more than loose soup.

Buc-ee's. If you ever travel through Texas, look it up to see if a Buc-ee's is on your route.

this topic is crap.

I used to drive from Northern California Bay Area to Los Angeles about 8 times a year... it's all Interstate 5, and there are miles and miles of roads with no facilities in sight, unless you want to crap outside next to a cow.

So I have my GPS set up with a short cut button to find nearby Starbucks on road trips. It's my #1 go to restroom destination. I buy a small dink (and accumulate reward points) on my way out. If no SB's are within 10 miles, I look for a "family" restaurant (Denny's, etc.) and go there.

If nothing else, if you can spot a mid-tier budget hotel like Holiday Inn Express or Hampton Inn, they all have very clean restrooms across from the check-in desk in the lobby. Go in, do your stuff, then ask about room prices on your way out.

On the other end of the spectrum, I stay away from fast food locations, especially those located at major freeway crossings, or multiple gas station corners next to the offramp. Had way too many bad experiences trying to "hover" my ass over a giant pile of multi-colored turds clogging the bowel - AND you can count on finding ZERO TP in your stall...not even ass gaskets.

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"... Had way too many bad experiences trying to "hover" my ass over a giant pile of multi-colored turds clogging the bowel. ...."

I picked the wrong time to read this post (was eating at the time but I'm not too squeamish although it did have an effect).

that would piss the shit out of me.