OT: Road Shitters
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Since shitters seem to be such a prevalent topic around here nowadays, I thought it might be interesting to start a thread about finding decent bathrooms on the road. While the majority of my miles as a road hound are in the air, I do spend a certain amount of time each year driving to various points on the Eastern seaboard and sometimes the Midwest. This is both for work reasons and for various recreational events. During extended trips, finding decent bathrooms takes on great importance, especially when I have my family with me.
Some of the best bathroom facilities I come across are at the big travel plazas that are used by truckers, especially Flying J and Pilot. Both also sell surprisingly good coffee. The stereotypes about truckers couldn't be anything further from the truth. These guys buy hundreds of gallons of gas at a pop, along with food and other sundries, and expect clean bathrooms. Some of these travel plazas even have showers, laundry facilities and lounge areas for the truckers to relax in.
When I can't find a big truck plaza, I look for a Starbucks. You won't find many of these in the Southern states off the highway, but starting around Virginia and moving north they become much more common, right around the same time that these big truck plazas become much more sporadic. I will also hit a WaWa in a pinch as well.
Feel free to share your go-to stops and please don't say McDs, lol.
Some of the best bathroom facilities I come across are at the big travel plazas that are used by truckers, especially Flying J and Pilot. Both also sell surprisingly good coffee. The stereotypes about truckers couldn't be anything further from the truth. These guys buy hundreds of gallons of gas at a pop, along with food and other sundries, and expect clean bathrooms. Some of these travel plazas even have showers, laundry facilities and lounge areas for the truckers to relax in.
When I can't find a big truck plaza, I look for a Starbucks. You won't find many of these in the Southern states off the highway, but starting around Virginia and moving north they become much more common, right around the same time that these big truck plazas become much more sporadic. I will also hit a WaWa in a pinch as well.
Feel free to share your go-to stops and please don't say McDs, lol.
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19 comments
As you know, my sense of smell is incredibly acute, so clean restrooms are important. I concur with your assessment. As I’m sure you know, waffle houses are simply unacceptable. I stopped in a Waffle House at 3am and it was unacceptable; I had to force the staff to clean it by threatening to go wildebeest on them.
On the other hand, shit can be a source of humor in the right context. For example, you identify some idiot that deserves a little something but isn’t really worth going all wildebeest on. Skifredo would be a good example of such a creature. How do you deal with that?
Simple. Take a shit on their porch! ROAR!!!
Of course, it is well-established that Skifredo is a homeless 🦀 that lives in a box behind a Starbucks. So taking a shit outside his cardboard box is hardly worth the effort. But I hope I have illustrated the general principle. 😉
I prefer to use the interstate rest areas when nature calls. GA between ~ Calhoun and Macon suck, as does much of KY (both wrt I75). There's 170 miles where you play fast food roulette, or else pull over and utilize the "honey cup". I75 in FL is decent with rest area interval.
I'll go against rick, and recommend McDonalds among the fast food chains- they almost always have a real restroom, as opposed to Wendy's, many Subways, and some older KFC's that have lockable bathrooms with single toilet where 1 individual could tie up bathroom for a spell while your teeth are swimming, or your bowel bazooka is about to let loose. Not to mention the pita of getting on/off interstate and going through the stoplight gauntlet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlsgKlLk…
It'd been a long-time since I used rest-areas due to a long-drive, but recently I used some of the rest-areas on the Florida-Turnpike/I-75 and was impressed - very large facilities and clean, multiple chain fastfood places to eat, spacious clean bathrooms, lots of parking, well-lit, a ton of gas-pumps well spaced-out, big well-stocked gas-station mini-mart; definitely and upgrade from what I remember back in the day.
SJG
SJG
I once tried the old sandbox gag on this hairless ape whore (she was actually John Smith’s DS). I filled the hotel bathtub with kitty litter then I was all “I took a shit in the sandbox, clean it out with a slotted spoon” and she did! Heh...heh...heh...Roar!
Kind of disgusting, but sometimes you’ve got to fuck your hairless ape whores and sometimes you’ve got to fuck with your hairless ape whores.
Amiright or amiright?
There is a place. A magical place - found in multiple parts of Texas.
You will never shit in a cleaner bathroom.
Your life will be changed. Coffee will simply taste like hot bean water afterwards. Gravy will be known to be nothing more than loose soup.
Buc-ee's. If you ever travel through Texas, look it up to see if a Buc-ee's is on your route.
So I have my GPS set up with a short cut button to find nearby Starbucks on road trips. It's my #1 go to
restroom destination. I buy a small dink (and accumulate reward points) on my way out. If no SB's are within 10 miles, I look for a "family" restaurant (Denny's, etc.) and go there.
If nothing else, if you can spot a mid-tier budget hotel like Holiday Inn Express or Hampton Inn, they all have very clean restrooms across from the check-in desk in the lobby. Go in, do your stuff, then ask about room prices on your way out.
On the other end of the spectrum, I stay away from fast food locations, especially those located at major freeway crossings, or multiple gas station corners next to the offramp. Had way too many bad experiences trying to "hover" my ass over a giant pile of multi-colored turds clogging the bowel - AND you can count on finding ZERO TP in your stall...not even ass gaskets.
https://images.app.goo.gl/BgA1P5QH23K3gU…
I picked the wrong time to read this post (was eating at the time but I'm not too squeamish although it did have an effect).