The Ex-Wife
san_jose_guy
money was invented for handing to women, but buying dances is a chump's game
Do you stay in touch? Even develop a friendship?
I think people who have kids together are more likely to stay in touch.
For me, I have said this before, it is kind of like getting a second mother, or a replacement mother.
1. She is sexually off limits.
2. There is a tremendous depth of share living, shared understand, and shared experience.
Why is she sexually off limits? Well for me, the very idea of sex with her is revolting. I think what it really is is simply that she crossed so many basic lines is that she is just dangerous, lethal.
So like a mother, separating from her is a matter of living versus dying.
This is what my wife had done, she was no longer willing to be Wife, Lover, SO. She came to be unwilling to follow my lead, and turned instead into someone who thought she should try to help me, for my own good. Well that is the point a which a mother becomes destructive.
For a wife, it is already long long gone if it gets to that point.
What is your experience with an ex?
SJG
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
157 comments
Latest
My ex and myself only text a few times a year
WCG
SJG
Understanding your superiority is vitally important for a successful relationship.,
Pay somebody to talk through your post marital problems. You know fees money under the table to start your own FRMOS!
you dont need counseling SJG, all they tell you are your symptoms and no way to fix how you feel. for example if you have a cold and go to the doctor. the doctor will ask you ,did you go outside without a jacket, you respond yes. the doctor then says, well you caught your cold because you went outside without a jacket. Were done here, your copay is $350. this is counseling.
And Salty.Nutz, I really agree with your assessment of psychotherapy. I say that we should prohibit our government from licensing it. That does not eradicate it, but at least it removes its source of legitimization. We don't license Fortune Tellers, Channelers, or Faith Healers. Why should Psychotherapists get to carry a government issued license?
Long ago a Jesuit Priest who did lots of spiritual counseling and retreat work, he told me that second marriages have a much sorter life than first marriages.
I had noticed that the Architect Frank Lloyd Wright, the Communications Theorist Gregory Bateson, and the Zen Teacher Alan Watts were all married three times. The second marriage was far worse, downright lethal. The third marriages were with women a good deal younger and they worked out quite well.
These men all did though maintain a certain reverence for the first wife. Alan Watts even maintained a long term friendship with his first mother-in-law.
One hypothesis about my ex-wife was that she was far more interested in the social status and social approval which comes with being married, than she ever was with a marital relationship. Really, I don't think she at that time had the level of maturity to enable her to know the difference.
And then of course that tends to prevent any post marital friendship.
SJG
Sadly, SJG prefers to throw quotes and names around. He would rather group psychiatrists in with fortune tellers, than take advice from an impartial therapist. This is an easy defense mechanism, as it makes any advice from a therapist seem tainted.
I think we are all in agreement, as this site is not the proper location for marital advice (or advice regarding an ex).
The end result is SJG can not see a therapist, as they know nothing. He has no friends, as nobody will deal with his delusional views. So, we are left to see his posts as he searches for someone to say - "That's right! She was a fool to leave a guy like you! You deserve much better! I'm sure she regrets it every day."
Really, hard to believe
He is best when kept fully submerged in a take of sulfuric acid.
gSteph, I needed to have dumped her much earlier. But as I would have to look at myself in the mirror from then on, and I do not take divorce lightly, it had to go on a great deal longer so that she could see that I really was being fair with her.
SJG
It's clear you harbor guilt about it all and that's why you can't let it go because you don't accept your own guilt and ownership of losing her. Maybe next time try not to spend all your money cheating on her with AMP whores and going to strip clubs like a chump.
Or maybe next time you should follow her lead? Perhaps the problem all along was your "leadership". 🤭
How's the mirror looking now?
Back to original question, I don't know, no ex. Just 39 years of dancing through life together, taking turns leading.
So then the question is, what is she, and what is she for the future?
So who has anything like a friendship with an ex?
SJG
There are no other explanations. No real, sane woman would stand for you.
So I gather then prevert that you are the expert on that?
SJG
So who here is on good terms with their Ex-Wife?
Who would even say that they are friends and share current information with their Ex?
And does anyone have sex with their Ex?
It would seem that if one believes in forgiveness and healing, and that they and their ex are not bad people, then anything should be possible. Why not?
But in practice I don't think it goes that way. When a marriage fails it really does something to people. So the ex does end up being something like a second mother, sexually off limits, a relationship which does have serious limitation.
SJG
If someday my Ex wanted to join my organization, and if she really understood it and was willing to work her way up the ranks. Then she could. She would be allowed to. There is no special reason why she should be the only person in the world who is automatically excluded.
But it will never happen. She would never want to be in such a thing. If this were different, then we would still be married.
SJG
Fashionable sexy was ok, as that was an indicator of elevated social status.
But not dressing for the bedroom.
For her, sex was always just a means to and ends, mostly just a means of entrapment, a Roach Motel.
SJG
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=5382…
My wife had to have been cut loose. She was never going to be any kind of a partner. She was just into control and manipulation.
But when should I have cut her off? I need to know, cause I have to have learned from such disaster.
At the Office of the First Marriage Councilor, a very long time ago?
Before we even were married, and when exactly?
I need to figure it out, or I will always be living in terror of future relationships. That marriage was a nightmare from which I am still struggling to awaken.
SJG
I think people underestimate how much this song depends upon keyboard player and vocalist Bob Mayo.
Peter Frampton Do You Feel Like We Do Midnight Special 1975
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rFYbMh…
Isn't this song similar?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxEJ74n9…
Well after she had been pumping poison into it for two weeks, what would you expect?
Women always say that they have feelings. But in fact it is more like their feelings have them.
A guy just has to get stiff and wooden, so he won't be manipulated or provoked.
My ex was completely disloyal, but it was never sexual. It was in just how she put up emotional walls and in the creepy people she was friends with.
SJG
SJG
My wife misrepresented herself before marriage, before she had a legal lever on me.
SJG
Progressives/liberals, they’re all talk and get nothing done.
SJG
Man up and own your own issues!
And then also we were in the midst of a war, that insanity known as Neo-Liberalism or Reaganomics.
SJG
Man up and own your own issues!
She still does not allow conversations beyond the superficial.
She never was a partner, and she still seems not to even have that capability.
I never bargained for a non-partnership marriage. That would have been insane.
But this is what she did.
SJG
Back door outfits becoming more common. I see this as a big plus. Slut wear should not just be something which needs to be taken off. And the back door should be encouraged.
Maybe after the first few rounds, time to get in the shower, then take it off of her.
In my observations, most strippers ITC go more for simplicity and little or nothing besides high heels and makeup, avoiding the real action uniform slut wear. Making too little use of even things like thigh high stockings.
https://www.yandy.com/Open-Cup-Lace-Tedd…
https://www.yandy.com/Plus-Size-Open-Cup…
I do not go along with MG-TOW or this Sandman, but this video has hot pics and I do what to keep tabs on what is being said.
They Don`t Get Better With Age - MGTOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Ek9igi…
The Rolling Stones - Austin, TX - 10-22-2006
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boeEcc6h…
SJG
Back door plus size
https://www.yandy.com/Plus-Size-Open-Cup…
I tried to use diplomacy in the relationship and to make it livable. I tried to focus on the importance of building partnership, and this generally would have meant discussing issues out in the open. She would have none of this, not even to this day.
SJG
It was all in the idolotrous relationship she had with money, and in the scum bags she got affiliated with .
It was part of the still ongoing war of Supply Side Economics / Neo-Liberalism.
But as far as it went it was a death trap.
SJG
It's clear you harbor guilt about it all and that's why you can't let it go because you don't accept your own guilt and ownership of losing her. Maybe next time try not to spend all your money cheating on her with AMP whores and going to strip clubs like a chump.
Or maybe next time you should follow her lead? Perhaps the problem all along was your "leadership". 🤭
Get over it by facing and owning your own issues. Man up, creep.
I needed to take assertive legal action. For the longest time I was reluctant to do this. It is hard to dump a spouse by the roadside, even if they have earned it.
She had lots of friends who were encouraging her, and their marriages were just as bad, as they had been for all of the group of 7 girls who were friends in high school.
She does not understand that this is their own doing.
Death trap, that was what she made!
SJG
I call it destruction of Equal Citizenship provided for via the 14th Amendment.
Always wanted to provide an emergency divorce service, 14th Amendment restoration.
Thanks Heaving for the kind words.
SJG
But I guess it had to be. I had to learn to control my temper and not to lash out in meanness.
But coming out of a repressive childhood, I needed to learn more.
Well, I guess it could not have been any different. Just had to be.
My wife would never allow partnership. Maybe only today is she even starting to understand this.
But is not welcome in my life. Talk via email, okay. But that is all.
SJG
But back when I first met her I was not sexualized enough either.
SJG
My ex-wife was just someone I should not have been with, and certainly not have been married to.
I still hope that some friendship can come of it though.
SJG
SJG
And you'll keep creating excuses and blame other things besides yourself.
Man up and own your own issues!
^ @san_jose_creep you were starting to make some incremental progress here but of late you have gone back to making more lame excuses and blaming other things besides yourself.
For her it was just a sometimes necessary means to an end.
So how did I end up shackled to such?
Well when I first met her I was coming out of a bad relationship experience. So I really had no interest in pushing the sexual envelop.
And then as a GF, she was not that bad. Sex was after all a necessary means to an end.
But once she had compromised my legal sanctity via marriage, she changed completely.
And then a friend of hers moved into the area, and that friend was always calling on the phone continually, and she was always massaging the Lizard Brain with something.
I feel that this friend of hers undermined out chances.
And then I at times felt that desexualiztaion was her strategy, and I said this too her. I would not necessarily have been deliberate. It would have been something which goes back thousands and thousands of years, to the beginnings of marriage and monogamy. How to keep the husband faithful? Desexualize him.
Can it backfire, yes.
Nicespice posted something about married people not having much sex, and about the wife leading the way in this desexualiztion. Maybe if she could tell us more, and tell us what her source is for this?
I say that marriage is a death trap.
SJG
I did not live with her before we were married. Decided based on earlier relationship that that was not good.
But once we were married, co-habitation never worked. Spent most of my waking hours at the office just to keep the peace and avoid her.
SJG
Well it was a combination of things which severely limited me in how I put my life together.
I needed to go much further, live and love in much more radical ways. But I did not understand this back then.
SJG
I had not prayed in well over a decade, but then I learned how to again. It was all I could do, she raging, and in the bed next to me, while I was trying to get to sleep so I could go to work the next morning. Prayer was the only resource I had.
And always there was the problem of when I was away at work, no one guarding my back. She was someone who would destroy she and I both, and for no real reason, nothing to gain. Not this bad while we were just dating. And back then I tended to blame myself if there were upsets.
SJG
Pope Francis Condemns Migrant Detention Camps in Christmas Day Address
Millions of people around the world celebrated Christmas Wednesday. Pope Francis prayed for migrants around the world and condemned “inhumane detention camps” during his annual Christmas Day address at St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican City.
Pope Francis: “May the son of God, come down to Earth from heaven, protect and sustain all of those who, due to these and other injustices, are forced to emigrate in the hope of a secure life. It is injustice that makes them cross deserts and seas that become cemeteries. It is injustice that forces them to endure unspeakable forms of abuse, enslavement of every kind and torture in inhumane detention camps. It is injustice that turns them away from places where they might have the hope of a dignified life but instead find themselves before the walls of indifference.”
https://www.democracynow.org/2019/12/26/…
Love Addict, Confessions of a Serial Dater, by Koren Shadmi
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Addict-Confe…
Graphic novel, looks entertaining!
But once married cohabitation started it quickly turned into a nightmare.
The most I could do was learn how to not be provoked. If I had not learned this then I would be either dead or serving a life prison sentence.
The only hope I could see was if she accepted that we had to become partners. But she never did accept this. Mellowed out some, but never open partners with shared goals.
A very long and stressful interval of my adult life.
And I still don't understand it.
SJG
Cream - White Room -1968
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jpmY8ZX…
Someone gave me this for Christmas.
Book is a fold out wall chart, 3 meters long. Cool!
https://www.amazon.com/History-World-600…
Yes - Yours Is No Disgrace - Live at Beat-Club - 1971 - Remastered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93y9wfB3…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDXccU0x…
Ringo Starr: It Don't Come Easy (Starr, 1971)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anpjEN9K…
TJ Street
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3560
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1132
It was like I read on a web site, for many it starts with something like a roll of the eyes. That meant that she was checking out and going ballistic.
This would go on for 12 hours, 20 hours, maybe more.
Once we were driving back on hwy 17/280, and she threatened to grab the car's steering wheel and make it go into the center barrier.
Always had to be careful around her. Only way to retrain her was just to derprive her on an audience, by walking out the front door or by bailing out a parked car.
Finally she had to be dealt with by LE and Probations.
She had been a hostile occupying force in my home, derpriving me of my home.
I did not want my life, career, or finances to be senselessly torn apart. I tried to always steer an even keel. But she did not care, her rage was all there was for her.
Once I told her family that it was to be either Jail or a Mental Hospital for her.
Of course I have no ill will towards her and I totally disapprove of Mental Hospitals.
But the sentiment and the idea were right.
Finally she was restrained by proper authorities, but I still tried to give her the chance to make peace and partnership.
No use.
It harmed me in many ways, especially my personal reputation and credibility.
I still suffer from Post Marital Stress Disorder.
The first marriage counselor was not properly licensed, only her husband was licensed. The second one decided to see us separately and then politely told us not to come back. And she was right to do this.
But my ex, she was never going to try and make things work, but she was going to hold on till death.
The authorities got heavier and heavier handed with her, as they should have, and also with some financial fraud people she was involved with. I wanted them in federal prison. Though they did not get that, they paid a heavy price.
I was trying in all honesty to do the best I could to make a life long relationship work. I did not want to fail.
But as I did, I am now a Pathetic Looser.
SJG
Happy visiting relatives in two other locations, and she would come home happy. But never happy with me.
Don't know what to make of this. Of course it makes me question myself and doubt myself.
I was doing the career I studied for in college. THe money I got, as I have told her was the same as what the people at the desks next to me got.
But for every dollar I got paid, she wanted to spend three and considered that a moral imperative.
SJG
And you'll keep creating excuses and blame other things besides yourself.
Man up and own your own issues!
And LMFAO that you read this but have me on ignore. 😂😂😂
SJG
Young adults, especially graduating from college, are under extreme conformist pressures.
SJG
And you've done a pretty shitty job of cutting her off by virtue of the fact that you can't keep talking to yourself about her in numerous threads over the years.
Do you realize you've been in a rut about her since 2015 just based on your TUSCL posts?
How long are you going to keep creating these lame excuses threads?
I guess I just have to accept this. I am not like other people.
I am more like a Shaman, Medicine Man, Mystic, Artist, Occultist.
I had told the second marriage counselor that if things did not work out, I would have no more "relationships". The costs and consequences are just too high, and life is too short.
So I guess I just have to see that I am different. And so basically I have to always be alone.
So it never could have been any better than it had been.
So today, most important, I countinue to educate myself. More breath, more depth. And we all need this if we don't want to turn into Homer Simpson.
SJG
Rich DeRosa Conducting Joey Alexander With Strings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXxI9GFC…
^ LOL or maybe you come across to women as a creep and an asshole, enough to make them rage, but you're too narcissistic to admit it. And too stupid to recognize it.
Monogamy yes, but not prostration.
SJG
Larsa Pippen
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/lars…
https://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/up…
https://pmchollywoodlife.files.wordpress…
https://celebrityphotos.club/wp-content/…
ELP | Emerson, Lake & Palmer - 40th Anniversary Reunion - Full Concert ᴴᴰ 2010
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyAtw0DV…
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
^ Agreed, Captain Obvious. 👏👏👏
That's just the way it is.
SJG
Do you realize that you repeat the same issues over and over again?
And you haven't added anything new to this topic?
Here is one of your first threads on the matter:
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=3773…
And it takes a while, but eventually you post this gem:
"For myself I was willing to live up to my marriage vows, and specifically to refrain from doing things which violated them or otherwise were a source of contention.
But the limit was when in other ways my ex-wife was just not a partner. She was using the marriage itself as a weapon. And of course no one could ever gain from this in anyway.
I could well have lost 20 years of my life from that. Have to see. It was a nightmare, living hell.
My wife was someone who would never have been sexually unfaithful. She wouldn't do that because she always wanted to be right. Her unfaithfulness came in the idolatrous relationship she developed with money, and with the people she associated with who promoted this."
^^^^^ @san_jose_creep do you see how this post is really no different than the others in this thread?
LOL that was back in 2015!!!
You are in a rut mentally. WAKE UP, MORON!
Do you realize that you repeat the same issues over and over again?
And you haven't added anything new to this topic?
And you'll keep creating excuses and blame other things besides yourself.
Man up and own your own issues!
And LMFAO that you read this but have me on ignore. 😂😂😂
SJG
She always opposed that. Sex always yoked to perceived relational propriety, like consumerism.
SJG
SJG
I have survived, but just barely. I am better off now though, than when it first ended. When it did end, I was elated. But rebuilding a live does require total reinvention, so it does take time.
I know though that not all young women are like my ex. Though I will not see her again, and I will not marry or live with a woman again, I know that sleep overs and multi-day long fuck fests are okay. I am smart enough not to put a stop to it if any woman is trying to move in with me. And always I will be transferring them to the organization I am working to build.
SJG
Marriage is not based on a high level of sexuality. It is based on far more restrictive and darker pressures.
Sometimes you will get soul mates. I tried to make this happen. A little bit it did, but just a little.
Marriage in my view today is idiotic.
Those who engage in Swinging, like Skibum609, probably come out better. But with my wife that would have been completely impossible.
SJG
SJG
“I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think.” —Socrates
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=7038…
Things obviously worked out much differently, far better, for you and your wife than for me and mine. Impossible to pursue outside involvements with her, or to get support on basic career objectives. More just damage control, always trying to head off ways she will be causing problems.
SJG
Great Enclosed Heel Stripper Shoes
https://www.dollskill.com/patent-peep-to…
“I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think.” —Socrates
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=7038…
Goldfinger Girl
https://www.amazon.com/Shirley-Eaton-Pai…
https://groovyhistory.com/shirley-eaton-…
The Hermetic Link: From Secret Tradition to Modern Thought Paperback – April 1, 2012
by Jacob Slavenburg
Transcendental magic : its doctrine and ritual / by Eliphas Levi ; translation [and] biographical preface by Arthur Edward Waite
I am happy for you, glad that things have worked out. And I admit that I do not understand it.
But this is why I am posting about it, because I want to better understand.
SJG
SJG
SJG
Also, I was trying to establish a professional career. But this does not mean that I was getting paid a huge amount of money. I was getting the same as what the persons at the desks next to me were getting. Better than Burger King, but not necessarily even equal to what a Used Car Salesman got.
Starting a professional career, I was expected to take what I was paid gratefully and to live on it and not to expect anything more.
But my new wife, she felt that we had to be living higher on the hog, living in a "better environment". And she felt that this was a moral imperative. Most everything she wanted was always a moral imperative.
When I had moved into that address, I was told by people that it would take me over a month to find a place.
I was starting a new job, and so I needed a pad. So I did something I never did before, I paid $35 to a referral service (decades old price) and got their list, and I got in right away.
But I still knew that job instability was not impossible, and I wanted to save money. The rent was already higher than I had ever paid before by far. I did not want to add to that unnecessarily.
So already the wife was irate.
As a GF she was often bedding down with me on the weekends. And she lived in places and with people more funky than I. I had sole use of a one bedroom apartment, now with the addition of her. I was trying to make things work.
She was not, she was trying to arbitrarily wield power, and make the situation unworkable.
To Be Continued
SJG
My wife, she was trying to sink us.
In latter years I would see that this was part of how she make herself feel safe, was by taking over, just for the sense of taking over. She did not care how much damage she did.
I wanted a career where I was recognized for my knowledge, abilities, vision, and character. She wanted to eat me alive, and this only started after the legal status change known as marriage.
I see that not everyone has experienced marriage this way. I don't understand how they could see it differently. But this is why I am posting.
SJG
Her infidelities were extreme, but they were never sexual in nature.
She subjected me to a level of neuroticism which would have killed a Spanish Fighting Bull.
The only reason I was able to survive was simply that I had recourse to Esoteric Religion and Philosophy.
Now I work to rebuild that which was lost.
SJG
LOL but instead you dwell on it because you aren't admitting the simple truth that it was all YOUR FAULT. 🤭🤭🤭
Own it!
It was like death everyday. I tried to reach out to her, but she would never engage and become a partner.
She was like one of the Furies, haunting Orestes.
And in "The Flies" Sartre has one of them say of Orestes, "I'm going to mother him."
She was like the mother in Manchurian Candidate. Not capable of being much different from that.
Still very hard in middle age to leave a spouse by the side of the road. As much as I think Marriage Counseling is a scam, I don't think I could have dumped her if we had not tried it in two stints, and if she had not of sabotaged it with rage and screaming both times.
I had to make a career change, but it was also a total change in lifestyle and thinking, and identity change. I needed her to stop being an enemy and to change to being a partner. It never happened. I guess she just could not do it.
She always had some very problematic friends, people who operate from the Lizard Brain, and they used her in some of their schemes, our telephone ringing at all hours, and then later her cell phone ringing that way.
She was embedded in a world of high female drama, stuff which I was not going to have anything to do with.
SJG
Have Iearned? I try. I think I have. But still so much I do not understand.
It still feels just like in these Blues Songs.
So much that I still am confused about.
SJG
SJG
Isis and Kali Squats in High Heels
https://i.pinimg.com/236x/95/38/56/95385…
https://c.wallhere.com/photos/f6/15/wome…
Yet you really need to keep posting about her. For four years! 😂
LMAO you never really needed her, yet you clearly can't get over her?! Do you even realize how contradictory this is? If you are so sure that you never needed her, then why do you keep posting about her and spamming the boards in the process? Is it because you LIKE to post about someone you never needed in the first place?
Methinks you are still in denial.
SJG
LOL translation -> I needed someone who would support everything that I wanted to do without repercussion or arguing with me, not someone holding me accountable for my actions and being a partner instead of my servant.
😂
I took it because I saw it as a critical opportunity which was being presented to me. I got adequate money from it, but that alone would not have been reason enough to take it.
I never saw myself as some sort of a hired gun who would do the bidding of whomever paid me the most. No, I was building a professional carrier and I had my own objectives. I took this moon lighting position because I saw it as giving me the chance to learn some new types of critical skills. And it did, this new area of skill would pay off for me in a number of following ventures.
The money did help though. With my wife also came some debts. I do not hold this against her. Modern life tends to make it so. I immediately accepted those debts as Our Debts, and pursued a strategy based on interest rates and pre-payment terms, of paying off our cumulative debt as soon as possible in order to minimize interest costs.
My moon lighting position also had some down side risks associated with it. It was with a very rough around the edges Eastern European man who would regularly beat his number 2 bloody. He was a nut, a tyrant. I would never want to work with him for the day job. But just for some moonlighting it was okay. And the deal was that I would work from home.
But this proved to be a huge liability, as my new wife set about making our home unlivable, engaging in a sustained high level of emotional terrorism, not understanding that she needed to chill out and become supportive across the board so that we could face the challenges of life as a team.
She would understand none of this. She made it impossible to work from home. She made it impossible to even live at home.
So I ended up working from this guy's office, and that meant that it would not last long.
The new kinds of experience I wanted I got, and that has continued to pay off for me.
I was not however able to groom myself for a major career change.
I did though get invited to join a new start up, as a kind of an expert, and this new experience helped.
So I took that, leaving the moon lighting behind. But home was still unlivable. The start up demanded much, and so I was there 7 days per week. Needing to do that, and for very long hours, to maintain control of my areas of responsibility in a competitive and hotshot environment. But also finding it totally untenable to be at home, around the wife, or to be subjected to her.
We did car keys and wallet dating, as we had been doing before being married. But the weekend day times were now shifted to work at the office time.
As I would be later saying in the office of the first marriage counselor at the sessions with my wife, "She is not on board". meaning she is not part of the team. The counselor strongly agreed.
It was a nightmare, and that epic would not be the end, or even the worst.
I was trying to build as professional career as I had trained for. But this does not mean that there could not be all sorts of other people who would be taking home more money. But I wanted the purposeful and specialized professional identity. Money is no substitute for that.
And I am convinced that any additional money I was bringing home would only have encouraged her to set her demand standards higher, as the money was just something which might have placated her, as well as eventually making it that much harder to dismantle the marriage.
I have survived a neurotic death trap. But barely survive is all I was able to do.
I did though learn to control my temper. If I had not done this, I would now either be dead or serving a life prison sentence.
SJG
Robin Trower - Full Concert - Rockpalast Crossroads, Bonn - 2005
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmoMb0gN…
You'll never get over it until you OWN IT!
Well maybe I am beyond the pale of what conservative thinking women will accept. They want normative relationships which gain them social approval.
I guess early in life I saw how that works, and how women use children, and I defined myself outside of that and learned how to resist.
I was for partnership, but not normative roles and approval seeking.
SJG
^ Well maybe you are beyond the pale of what most women will accept. Unless of course you pay them at strip club or AMP. And even then, it's iffy.
Never happened.
SJG
OMS - Part 5/5 - History of the Gnostic Church
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0octoNH…
Pelosi’s failed impeachment trial. Lmfao!!
SJG
Well, who gives a shit about conservative thinking women!
SJG
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CWy4r2hXIAAs…
https://s.yimg.com/aah/yhst-138566792559…
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0705/9…
@san_jose_creep LOL you make post after post and thread after thread about your ex-wife and how you assume she thinks.
Obviously, you give a shit! 😂😂😂
(Psst, you won't ever get over her until you own your own faults and issues. 😂😂😂)
My Ex, she had no ability to see sex as something other than an arena for power struggle and gender war!
So she had no commitment to the idea that sex liberates, or that sex should be liberated.
As she saw it, there was always gender based power struggle, and she always took the female side. She felt that men were wrong.
And so sex was just one of the most intense arenas for this. She had lots of GF's going back to high school who had had failed marriages. So my wife was one who blamed this on men.
I accepted monogamy, as I saw, it is just a practical requirement. And I also knew that I had to keep my side of the street clean.
But my wife, for her sex was always about power. And so it was used to get one thing or another. She never wanted to see sex liberated and made plentiful.
How did I come to know such a person? Well I ask myself that everyday. What it comes down to are harsh and limiting experiences which had shaped my life up till that point. And also remember, she was not really like that until after we were married, after that legal change. With sex being about power, how you use it will depend on the situation, just as everything you do in a chess game depends upon your present board position.
She saw marriage as being about power too.
Once she had a legal right to occupy my life, things changed a great deal.
And this is why I say that today she is sexually off limits, and she will remain so, and she would not be welcome in the organization I am building. We would not let other people in if they thought like that and conducted themselves like that. We couldn't.
And see, this is not feminism. It is nothing of the sort. It is the absence of feminism, as feminism is primarily about women moving beyond the roles they have been boxed into.
Even pseudo feminism, largely something of the 1980's, this is not. Pseudo Feminism is a sort of a retrenchment, accepting some of feminism, but then digging in and holding firm on more central power and control issues.
No, my Ex, she was incapable of even understanding feminism, except for its more external aspects. For her life was about a gender based power struggle.
I told her not to use sex as a weapon. What I really wanted to say but did not know how to say was, "Don't weaponize sex when we are young, or else when we are older I will hate you for it."
I survived a death trap!
SJG
This Is The Blues [ 31 ] ~ 2008 ( Modern Electric Blues ) (over 4 hours)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0iGSUCK…
Robin Trower - Twice Removed From Yesterday Album (1973
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALcOj4St…
Trower makes excellent us of a backing track:
Lady Love (2007 Remaster)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41jn94hf…
TJ Street
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=3513
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=2081
https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1132
She paid lip service to superficial aspects of feminism. But of the deeper issues she had zero understanding.
NEVER AGAIN!
SJG
😂😂😂
We all need to feel our feelings.
So Meat, STFU.
SJG
Politics. Maury Povich says “that too is a lie!”
Sounds like Pleaser USA gets everything from China, 46 shipments of 6000 kg per year, like one container per shipment.
So what are we going to do? Takes two pounds of petroleum to make one pound of acrylic resin.
But there must be some way we can skip the petroleum stage, use solar heating and pressure on biomass directly.
We should be able to convert Meat72 into acrylic resin.
Then when a pretty young girl wants to start at a strip club or Viet coffee, we can still present her with her first pair of stripper shoes.
SJG
The marriage to the Ex is over. Marriage should be outlawed, or declared unconstitutional.
An issue for me now though is should the Ex herself be considered a total write-off?
She sort of indirectly admits to some culpability. But she still does not show that she could relate any differently or that she really accepts that the marriage and that kind of power and control relationship will never be again.
Surprised and scared me when she tried to come back, a few years back, assuming that I would just let myself be subjected to that.
I did no such thing.
Most Exes do not keep in touch, unless they have children.
I would note here that the bio parents of Elliot Rodger did sort of maintain a post marital relationship by talking about Elliot's affairs. They made him into a problem which needs to be solved. And this in turn made his life unlivable.
I could never bring her on board, make her part of the team. Marriage Councilor agreed with me about that.
I know that she and I will always have differences, no problem.
But she was involved in things which are unethical, and I say unlawful, pertaining to money. People who do that have an idolatrous relationship with money. Very problematic people too. I think today that her contact with such is minimal. She pretty much got taken to shreds.
Family took her back, she is with siblings. Most of them would have not dealings in the realm she was in.
I am not by nature a mean spirited or unduly harsh person. I always try to obtain good outcomes.
I had to change my own life from when we were first married. Seems that she was unable to follow me. I had to be more than I had been raised to be. She could not go along with that, became a fear and control based person, and came under the spell of negative influences.
I had to suffer much loss to make such changes. But she could not even sign on to the basic concepts.
SJG
B minor has the same scale as D major, and that is an intense, haunting key, often used by Red Hot Chili Peppers
B Minor Jam - Eric Clapton (461 Ocean Boulevard)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOzZMRv9…
Rainbow - Catch The Rainbow (1975)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3VgV31v…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqUx84-l…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hByGwgm_…
^ It's come to blaming the institution of marriage itself now.
If you don't stop blaming every thing but yourself, you are going to drive yourself loony. Oh wait, you already have. 🤪
SJG
The Mentors: Sex Slave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHuU-QZS…
SJG
De-emphasizing the purely physical tab A in slot B aspect.
So that is part of how I ended up with such a sex ambiguous sort of a wife, and thus paying a decades long heavy price for it.
But my wife and I also survived a very negative period in our nations history, one were work and ability were devalued, and where money making schemes, like the federally subsidized ponzi stock market were valued. This started with Reagan, but it still continued under Clinton, Bush, and Obama, and it is still continuing with Trump. Something is going to give one way or another.
SJG
So in that sense she is like a mother, someone it is necessary to separate from.
But there is a problem there, most women are not that much different than she. Never said she was worse than average.
So in protecting myself from a wife, I have lost some of my own sexuality. So I struggle to further understand so that I can get it back.
SJG
Relationships work by communications, or so I had thought.
With most things it should be possible to reach some understanding via talking about it for 1/2 and hour. But what about when it takes 10 years to communicate? Well life goes on, the situation is not the same anymore. A communications impasse becomes a death trap.
Under the surface, I thought all people were pretty much the same, or so I had thought.
But when communications is impossible for an extended period of time, then it is a death trap.
I was not prepared to take the legal actions needed to defend myself.
SJG
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=5382…
SJG
I read CC99 posting about "Waifu", and that does make me miss her.
But she did not allow partnership.
So beyond a point, the marriage became a death trap.
Huge loss in my own life.
SJG
But I never wanted her to be passive, or a Stepford Wife.
Professional goals do not always mean more money, at least not in the short term.
So it was like I was implicitly having to plead for permission to pursue a professional career.
SJG
^^^ LMAO but you need this thread about her!
If you don't need her, why are you keeping her in your head in this thread? 🤪
LMFAO @san_jose_creep are you having fun still pretending to ignore me? Why is this post not muted? Did you forget to put me back on ignore after you logged off yesterday? 🤭🤪
LMFAO san_jose_creep took me off ignore but has forgotten to put me back on ignore. When he gets back to his free internet at the library, he'll correct this and pretend to ignore me again. 😂🤣
Back on ignore again.
(For now. 🤭😝)
I would live with monogamy. But I was not going to be subjugated to living for the approval of she, her friends, and her family. What we call a "dysfunctional family" is one with parents who try to live retrograde, they just don't want to face their own life experience. They want to live by lies and denial. My Waifu wanted to live that way. I would never do that, not in a million years.
SJG
Found out you were addicted to sex and blew all your $& on whores and it was such a painful experience that you decided to try to have free sex like it was the 1960’s all over again. You got lucky once and are now caught in your autistic loop of lying to yourself that you created a
Persona, a male gigalo persona that would protect you from the reality of your real life, loser self known as SJG. The political views you have are the symptom of being the biggest chump, believing a radical left wing politician can be your savior. What a douche, SJG is.
Right now a bunch of trolls are running rampant. Trolls and one zombie. They should stay where they belong, the underground circle jerk rooms.
These trolls and the zombie know NOTHING ABOUT ME. If they ever even came close to being able to know something about me I would incinerate them. So just ignore them.
*********************
*********************
I sent the ex a good will missive and she responded in a way I did not expect.
She started off "I am sorry to have disappointed you". Now coming from her that would sound like more smugness. BUt in context I think no.
She said that she read the autobiography of Simone de Beauvoir. She says that it really effected her and that she wished she had read it when she was younger.
She had read Deirdre Bair's biography of de Beauvoir years back. And she talked about wanting to read Second Sex.
ANd then some analyzing their writings and correspondence that Sartre's ideas seemed to have started with de Beauvoir.
I always felt that the ex was trying to wage a gender war, and believing that this is what feminism meant.
And in de Beauvoir it is nothing at all of the sort.
SJG
*********************************
*********************************
Remember, the trolls and the zombie know nothing. Soon they will all be decomposing.
I am ignoring them and I ask you to do the same.
SJG
Also, you seemed to enjoy the "underground circle jerk" room well enough when founder gave you 30 days of access.
Except for your constant overshares, and easy patterns from your time and dates of posting.
From which I conclude--you are _boring!_
^^^ Based on the context of all your posts, it sounds like she feels sorry for you and doesn't want to say anything that triggers you into a rage. It's like how a mother would handle a child that is prone to throwing temper tantrums.
By saying she's sorry, it puts the issue on her and not you but at the same time she's still keeping her distance. And she doesn't need to get into all of the things that you did to disappoint her. I'm sure she has a long list (like spending all her money on strippers and AMP whores), but she knows it won't do anything to bring it up again because you still live in utter denial about it all. It being all your fault and such.
So it was a very tactful approach on her part. Likely learned from having to deal with you on a regular basis.
And it was open ended enough such that you could interpret it how you did.
IMHO only.
Talk about delusional and self absorbed...
Who has the following history?
1. Posts totally off topic useless threads that 99.9% of the members here don't care about or want to see.
2. Has continuously bumped and re-bumped said threads day after day, week after week, month after month, for years and continues to do it despite protests or straight out ignoring from other members.
3. Responds to said protests by insulting, threatening physical harm, and even death to other members.
4. Basically talks to himself in said off topic threads in his attempts to force feed them to said uninterested members.
5. Always insults other members for speaking about getting lap dances on a strip club website.
6. Has posted about a non existent secret sex organization for 8 years.
7. Brags about being the premiere guru regarding everything sexual.
8. Talks about putting women in bondage and forcing them to obey their male masters.
9. Thinks raping a woman while she's sleeping is consensual.
10. Calls members who are fed up with his psychotic mentally ill behaviour witnessed by items 1-9 above trolls.
Who has that history?
The same guy that prefaced his latest post in this thread of his by calling all that have spoke up regarding his bizarre antics trolls.
Yes that same guy is without a doubt the biggest troll on TUSCL, the mentally ill psychotic san jose creep!
Has no star as of this writing and is planning to plagiarize a review to get one.