Ever decline to tip a dancer? Was I wrong?

She was definitely in the wrong there.

The girl gives you a 5 minute commercial and expects you to pay exorbitantly for it? Get outta here. I'd probably be willing to tip up to five bucks if she was cute and personable.

Fuck her

"Ever decline to tip a dancer?" Yes, but I try to be accommodating if the dancer asks and provided something worth tipping.


"Was I wrong?" No.


"Would you have tipped in this situation?" I might have given her $3-$5 if she was interesting enough to see later, or if I was interested but on the fence would have invited her to have a drink with me. If she was being pushy and I had no interest, I would have found a way to be friendly but called the whole thing off.

She wasn't pissed. But it's a good tactic to get guys to payout who refuse to pay her "for her time." It's all an act until she leaves the room or meets another customer.

You did well!

Give her $1 and tell her not to spend it all in one place

Girls that demand any kind of tip are the worst.

Don't get me wrong - if you paid for a room and there is an implied bonus fee for her, that's all fine. If you spent 20 minutes talking about VIP rooms, having questions answered etc...that's a bit of her time and worth tipping (but not $20).

But when they ask for a tip for 10 seconds of existence...gtfo of here.

The more you experience this, the more desensitized you get to it.

You weren't wrong at all. You didn't ask for a tour, she volunteered to give you one. A tour ain't worth $20, sorry hun. Times must have been really tough for her.

I tip but I don't give in to extortion.

I would have chuckled and shooed her away.

This was a classic Hostess Hustle, where a girl targets a new guy and behaves like a gracious hostess by letting him know "how things work." The goal of course is to make him feel a sense of gratitude and obligation so that he buy a dance or at least tips.

I don't begrudge her for trying to earn, but I'd need more than a sales pitch to feel obligated. I recently tipped a girl $40 in a club I had never visited before for giving me great intel about how VIP really works and even bringing over a girl that was both extremely hot and very willing. But that girl provided great value and potentially saved me a lot of wasted time and money, so it was money very well spent.

No, you weren’t wrong. And there is also a good chance she wasn’t actually pissed but acted that way to put you on the defensive in order to try to be manipulative and extract a tip that way.

MAYBE a couple of bucks for the info if I was interested in getting with her later, but the attitude killed all tip potential. You did the right thing.

NOTHING pisses me off more in a club than being asked to give a tip that was not explicitly negotiated in advance.

I would have smiled and said "no, but thanks for the tour." If she persisted I'd say "maybe next time," and just walk away.

That doesn't mean I never tip. But I decide if and when.

Thanks all. The exchange bothered me because I don’t want to be a dick to the dancers, and I would have been ok with giving her up to $5 for being friendly. But demanding $20 turned me off to her and all tipping for her.
I once had a dancer at another club sit and try to get me to do a LD and I declined and she said can you tip me a dollar for my time? I was a little put off by her wanting me to tip her when she chose to sit with me, but I’m not going to argue over a dollar and I just tipped her.
If the dancer I was talking about in the original post asked for a couple dollars I would have tipped her. I understand tips is how they make their money, but $20? Wow. The entitlement turned me off so I didn’t tip anything.
I wrote a review on the place. The whole experience was crappy. I won’t be going back there anyway.

I feel the same way, I do not want to be a dick to the dancer but at the same time, I only tip for services I value.

Asking for a $20 for a tour of the place is robbery.

It is called hustling for a reason.

-->"Thanks all. The exchange bothered me because I don’t want to be a dick to the dancers, and I would have been ok with giving her up to $5 for being friendly. But demanding $20 turned me off to her and all tipping for her. "

If she'd spent a few minutes with me, being charming and touchy and answering questions, I would have given her $5. But she gets the willy wonka treatment once she asks for $20 ("You get NOTHING! GOOD DAY sir!")

-->"I once had a dancer at another club sit and try to get me to do a LD and I declined and she said can you tip me a dollar for my time? I was a little put off by her wanting me to tip her when she chose to sit with me, but I’m not going to argue over a dollar and I just tipped her. "

I don't tip in this situation either. That said, if she sits down uninvited, and is not all hustle but is actually flirty and fun, I'll either chase her away after a couple of songs, no tip. Or, if I'm enjoying her (even though I know I won't be doing dances with her), I might just sit and hang with her, in which case I'll tip her some for her time.

Lol agreed with nicespice- she was in the wrong here.

I feel like if the girl spends a decent bit of time with you and you dont buy anything or shoo her off quickly you should definitely tip her something for her time. That is why I like when guys straight up let me know they aren't interested if they know immediately. It saves both of us time and aggravation.

Also if you say you're gonna buy a dance/room then don't then definitely tip her for her time or you're a complete worthless piece of shit and wouldn't be shocked if said girl accidentally injures you somehow.

I rarely tip a girl when she asks. Otherwise I am generous. Lesson to dancers: don't ask for a tip. Even if I give you one, there will not be a next time.

She was awful and you handled it perfectly. Pretty funny she got mad because you wouldn't let her cheat you.

-->"Lesson to dancers: don't ask for a tip. Even if I give you one, there will not be a next time."

The thing is, a huge number of guys -- basically most guys who aren't PLs, I gather -- will tip just because she asks, according to the girls. If you're not a strip club regular, it just feels rude to say no.

One thing the SW girls say that actually did make sense to me: always ask for tips from random customers, the party crowd, the business crowd -- they can be flirted or intimidated into tipping, and through the night the tips add up. Never ask for tips from regulars, they say no, and then they never dance with you again, so you're risking a long term revenue stream for $10 once. That advice always made sense to me.

—> “Also if you say you're gonna buy a dance/room then don't then definitely tip her for her time”

Haha yeah the last time I got pushy with requesting a tip was a customer who, when I asked, said “in a minute” then explicitly asked me to sit and chat with him. And wanted me to drink with him. But didn’t want any dances. He gave me $5 anyways but made a stern comment that a drink was good enough payment to have conversed with his majestic self. 🙄

I'm a very generous tipper in the clubs as well as in restaurants, hotels, etc. But as soon as a dancer asks/begs for a tip, she has just lost any chance of getting anything at all. Same as with getting change back. If I pay a dancer and am due 20 or 40 in change and she just gives me the change, I usually hand it right back as a tip (assuming the dances were good). If she asks "Do you want your change?", then yes I absolutely want my change and the dancer just lost a tip.

I try to have exact change for the first three dances I would get with any girl. Keeps things simpler that way, especially if I'm further into my spending and I have to break big bills.

I went cow tipping once. It was so much fun

These women dont comprehend that tipping is OPTIONAL, and NOT MANDATORY!

^ sure they do that’s why they use all kinds of strategies to try and extort tips from weak guys.

The "let me give you a tour" is a hustle-play 9 times out of 10; as Rick mentioned it's a tactic to make the custy feel obligated "because she was so nice to show him around" - she was pissed bc her hustle-play didn't work - her intention$ were for the tour to benefit her not you

The last time I went with the "let me give you a tour" hustle I actually wanted her in VIP so that just saved time with drinks and chit chat.

I can't remember if I put her in the review or not, but I'd seen her the night before at Flight Club in Detroit when I was hanging out with jackslash. She'd dropped by and I waved her off, but was looking for her later on for a dance before I left. Did a VIP with another chick, but was waiting around on her until I needed to leave to meet up with a dancer from the night before that I'd made plans with. Right as I was walking out I saw her sitting on the smoking deck staring at me walk out. It was a little creepy, but she was still hot. I was in Detroit for a week so it's like a fucking plate of spaghetti trying to unpack it all.

At any rate, I saw this chick on stage at the Coliseum the next day and she recognized me. Walked over after her set and told me what her name was at that club, and reminded me right away that I didn't get a dance from her the night before. She had long blonde extensions in her hair that day and looked even hotter (and less drunk) than the night before. Drunk she was bubbly and dingy, but sober she was a barracuda. I prefer my favorite dancers to have an edge to them, so when she asked if I wanted a tour it was a quick yes. Now if only she'd led with a different negotiation tactic on song number two in VIP behind the drapes that could have been a much different visit. She did get a tip (mostly earned) on my way out so I didn't have to make change.

You did the rite thing

Two things that often make me skip the tip:
- Dancers in a club that don't at LEAST take their top off on stage (I always tip the stages for a while when I go to the club)
- Dancers who ask for a tip like they expect it - because that's not a tip, that's an upcharge.

Of course, I also make sure I let the dancer know early in the interaction that I'm watching the stages/taking a few moments to "enjoy" my soda/whatever else gently implies "nope, not getting dances right now, piss off and come back later." If they still stick around to chat, that's their business.