How long did you wait to club again after wedding? And why?
NJBalla
New York
So Im seriously thinking of settling down in a few years. I have a few great women in my social circle who are desperate for kids and marriage. While there is a high possibility I hang up my T shirt and athletic shorts after the wedding I wouldnt be suprised if I sneak away to a club during a business trip. For those who are married how long did you wait and why did you go? Argument with wife? Needed some variety?
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Physically ,yes.but in terms of keeping a commitment ? Nope .another misconception tuscl men have about other men.
How is that more relevant than the fact that what I am saying is based on the testimony and experiences of other men themselves smh
“How is that more relevant than the fact that what I am saying is based on the testimony and experiences of other men themselves ”
Anecdotal evidence is of limited value. Show us the basic research, tell us about the sample size. Explain how the individuals interviewed were selected. Explain the statistical analyses done to verify statistically significant differences.
I’m sure you’ve done all that basic work.
I haven’t (and at least I have the honesty to say so). But the reading I have done of articles by academics who do more than rely on anecdotal evidence reflects that men and women differ on the metric of commitment and infidelity. The differences are, not what I expected and more complicated.
I always thought men were less prone to commitment than women and that was true across all nations, cultures, socioeconomic and educational levels and ages.
Apparently that is not the case. Depending on which slice of the population you study, you find different infidelity rates between the genders.
It’s an interesting topic. The evidence did not sustain my preconceived and uninformed expectations.
But as for men and women being the same on this issue, that isn’t what the data suggests either.
Depends ...
After which wedding?
I’ve had three (so far).
I think it was about 2 years after my first wedding that I started clubbing ...
... about 2 months after my second wedding ...
... and about a 1 month after my third wedding.
“Why?”
Why not?
Kids are older now. Me and SO are secure enough that it’s not a conflict in our marriage like it may have been in the beginning. But not every marriage is ok with SCing. So you may wait forever if you’re waiting on the green light for it.
If married guys didn't go to strip clubs, then the entire industry would contract down to Follies and Hong Kong. Maybe a couple of Detroit clubs would survive.
Dancers seem to be very comfortable around married guys as well. Generally they are more stable monetarily, not too pushy about extras, and can hold a good conversation with women. Not all clubs are about dancing. Some guys just want some time away from the wife while having a few drinks in the company of beautiful women.
Comments like that from @nicole make me wonder what her experience with clubbing is.
Totally dedicated and monogamous before she stopped enjoying intimacy and sex. Honestly going to strip clubs and seeing girls on the side has kept my marriage going.
By the time the kid was 2 my wife basically gave up on sex and I started finding other outlets including clubs.
I think a lot of dancers are ok with married guys because we don't try to date them and are less likely to fall in love or stalk. Transactional relationships can work great for both parties.
98% is posting here. She has claimed a few tourist-level visits, but who knows.
Discovered lap dancing 2+ years ago.
I don't know if wife would have tolerated lap dancing 20 or 30 years ago, but our marriage is solid and fun. She does now, for which I've thanked her
SJG
@CMI, same goes for SJG, not sure what the point of this site if you've never been to a club
*Note that my wife and I lived together for about five years before getting married and during that time I went to strip clubs and she also knew about it going into our marriage. And she still married me. :)
(LMFAO Nicokeyes has no clue about men and marriage. Such an assuming dumbass.)
SJG
After my divorce, Strip Clubs were a nice diversión and once I discovered extras and then TJ I was hooked.
So in honor and to celebrate your retirement from clubbing, I will head down to TJ for a few arribas.
Sjg is building an organization, which if all goes as planned, will revolutionize mongering.
… at least I know all my buddies will show up. :p
if this revolution hits NJ I Will gladly retire. If I walk into any club and see every guy making out with dancers I will throw up and see myself out
A free TUSCL account and tens of thousands of posts via the free computer access at the public library.
And no money to actually go to a strip club.
That is not really true. My organization is by invitation only, members are held to very high standards, and there is no "mongering" involved with it. But it will give our members all the sex we could possibly want.
herbtcat, some married couples go for Swinging, some have even met and even gotten married in Swinger's Clubs. In my view this is honest, while cheating on a wife is not.
NJBalla you are the antithesis of the men who will be deemed worthy of my organization.
You are all just talk. No action whatsoever.
This is hardly worth typing,
SJG didn't answer the topic under discussion. Just more noise.
Hope I never get an invite to the "organization". I hate junk mail, worst than internet garbage.
SJG
But, bored, curious.
How long did you wait to club after getting married?
Cause I care.
SJG
LOL san_jose_creep has me on ignore too so your responses should confuse him. I hope so!
But my suggestion would be not to marry any of those women who are desperate for kids and marriage. That is a recipe for disaster and having to give up half your assets when you divorce. Desperation leads to poor decision making .
We have some who are very different on this board.
SJG
(LMFAO)
Would you try a Marriage Councilor first, or just go directly to the Divorce Lawyer?
Do you find Marriage Councilors and Divorce Lawyers dancing at your favorite strip clubs?
SJG
The only worry I have is if my future wife has a low sex drive. Its hard to find a girl with a high sex drive who is open to kids and not a mother by 30.
You sound like another who is railing against feminism?
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
SJG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d4C1ZQK…
It's literally the only discussion forum that will put up with his creepy-as-fuck logorrhea.
No. Really. It's like the word was created for SJG...
Logorrhea (psychology): In psychology, logorrhea or logorrhoea is a communication disorder that causes excessive wordiness and repetitiveness, which can sometimes lead to incoherency. Logorrhea is sometimes classified as a mental illness, though it is more commonly classified as a symptom of mental illness or brain injury.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logorrhe…
I visit once every month or two, but the Phx scene has changed so much that I don’t believe I’m missing out on anything these days. All the talent has left.
It’s normal for women to lose some of their sex drive after having a baby. There’s a lot that goes on, with birth and caring for a new baby. Including utter exhaustion. And if you’re stepping up to care for your child with them, you may find sex inane a priority for it as well. If you’re wife is in the middle of the trenches of baby care and you step out on her, then I don’t see how you can expect a solid marriage. This is not a woman that is trying to deprive you, this is a loan that is consumed by the care of a child you helped make.
I can’t speak to menopause as we haven’t dealt with that yet however hormone replacement is a very real option to help with lowered sex drive due to hormones changes.
However, the main cause of a “low sex drive” in women is that their husband fails to get them going. When you first meet a women it’s easier. Everything is new and so getting her turned on requires much less effort. Also the culture of sex in our country is still very male centric. And often younger women still believe sex is focused on the male experience. So they may fake interest, or not finish but focus on you finishing or not be fully wanting it but do it anyway, because they’ve learned that’s what women do.
In my experience with people, women seem to go through a psychological change somewhere in their late 30s to mid 40s. You can google it. It is sometimes referred to as female midlife crisis. It’s hard to say exactly why, but around this time they seem to really come into their own, and hormonal speaking women have a HIGHER sex drive at this time.
But I’ve noticed this is when they begin to put themselves first often after many years of raising young children and staying home and putting careers on the back burner, and even “serving their husband”. (I am only speaking for my generation)
When women begin to put themselves first after all those years of putting themselves last, they begin to want a new approach to sex. This is an issue if they don’t communicate this to their husband, and they just expect him to know. Which often is the case.
Also around this time women begin to feel the effects of their beauty fading with age.
They want to feel desired. They want to feel beautiful. They want to be romanced. And listened to. They want to connect with their partner. They want to be dated again and re-experience their fading youth. Thus want you to choose them over friends, hobbies, the damn tv. They want your undivided attention. And none of this should sound difficult if you love her.
They also want to “live” life. They may want to go out more or join new clubs. And if by this point the marriage actually is still healthy, she will want the man to join her.
She may seem like her sex drive is lower, but it’s not. Biologically this is a peak time for a woman. It’s that her desire for sex with you is lower. Woman connect though emotional intimacy. If she’s turning you down over and over, and she may even say she’s not in the mood. But women know it’s easier to blame their mood than to be honest and say you don’t do it for them anymore.
Also a side note, if a woman has gained lot of weight, she may feel so unattractive to you that she doesn’t want to have sex. But that a whole other issue for discussion.
Plenty of women have healthy sex drives well into old age. But for women the foundation is their relationship with her husband. A woman that feels happy in life and love and feels attractive to her partner will continue to want sex.
A loan = a woman
Are you railing against feminism?
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
Sounds like you are.
AtAboy, are you saying that marriage is risky? Mine certainly proved to be.
And Ishmael, back into your anthill, that's where you can spout your nonsense.
SJG
Is there something about you going to strip clubs and AMPs while you were married but don't want to admit?
Sounds like you are.
And this thread of your's is an example of that.
SJG
SJG
I don't think cheating on an SO is good.
SJG
My wife understands exactly why I club because she understands me. She has issues with the frequency at which I club and the total amount of money I've spent.
But she's accepting of it being infrequent and within my "frivolous" expenses budget. And she's never thought of it as spending her money as you put it (like an assuming idiot).
And why do you assume it's her money that's being spent anyway?
Some couples go for Swinging, and they insist that the women are more crazy about it than the men are. Some of these couples have met in Swingers Clubs.
But otherwise don't get married.
For myself I am building an organization, and at core it is similar to a Swingers Club, except for Single Leftists, rather than the usual Married Republican-Libertarians.
SJG
Car Keys and Wallet Dating
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
Warrior15: Cashless Society - Should we mongers be concerned ?
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
Marriage?
SJG
What do people think?
https://jezebel.com/shockingly-trite-sex…
https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/06/mal…
Do you agree with what is said in the articles?
SJG