Don’t Compliment Her Looks

43 comments

• shadowcat

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  5 years ago

  What woman doesn't like to be complemented?
• Mate27

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  5 years ago

  ^^^Wait, wait, wait! I just thought of something..... Yo momma!
• bubba267

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  5 years ago

  IMHO It is the type of physical attribute compliment "Your hair is so soft and beautiful " vs "you have the best tits ever" It's the "objectification" factor one is trying to avoid.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  5 years ago

  I've heard this before, and it makes some sense. Dancers get compliments (some crass; some classy) so often from their customers that it just becomes noise. While I don't think this means you should never give a compliment, I think it serves you better to try to give a compliment that is less common, less crass (my opinion...), and more specific to that dancer.
• flagooner

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  5 years ago

  "Impressive rack" always works for me.
• gammanu95

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  5 years ago

  Seriously- you SHOULD compliment a woman's physical attractiveness. This applies to dancers, civvie dates, wives, and mistresses. However, try to be specific, like how Bubba described. Also, if you can read the dancer, you might be able to get away with "the best tits ever" line. I know a couple of self-concious trashy girls that really appreciated that I noticed, lol.
• mark94

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  5 years ago

  I find that complimenting choices they make, like hairstyle or outfit, is better received than complimenting their physical attributes. You are complimenting their taste, not treating them like a piece of meat.
• sinclair

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  5 years ago

  Because every guy does that. You automatically position yourself as an easy mark or inferior to her if you are trying to kiss her ass with compliments. You might think complimenting her on her looks is sweet, but good-looking women get it so frequently that it does not affect them any longer. If you want to stand out, be the one guy that is not brown-nosing a pretty girl and stay in a position of control.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  ^ + 1
• nicespice

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  5 years ago

  ->“I find that complimenting choices they make, like hairstyle or outfit, is better received than complimenting their physical attributes. You are complimenting their taste, not treating them like a piece of meat.” As a dancer, I get wary of that. Customers who say stuff like that I’ve noticed are less likely to buy a dance. Even worse, many will pull PUA moves and pitch (uncompensated) OTC. So when that happens I tend to end the bantering more quickly and ask for the dance. I guess I’m one of the self-conscious trashy girls because I LOVE hearing about how fantastic my tits are early on. He will likely be spending pretty well. 😁
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  I don't have much game with women - but what I've noticed over-the-years, w.r.t. myself and watching other guys, is indifference often works best especially with good-looking women (at least while you're trying to get to know them)
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  5 years ago

  Interesting perspective, Nicespice. Out of curiosity, how often are you dealing with PUA types? I think that a lot of standard-issue PLs forget that these guys are out there.
• skibum609

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  5 years ago

  Love your outifit. The color looks great on you; probably because it works with your skin tone.
• gammanu95

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  5 years ago

  Papi, as always, makes a point. Some women enjoy the chase and conquest, just as men do. Attractive women may become so used to guys eating a mile of their shit just to taste their ass, that it no longer fazes them. However, a guy who is aloof and chill may be the right thing to pique their interest. In a slightly different vein, that reminds me of a girl I met online dating in Louisiana some years ago. She was a model from Monroe, LA. Should have been way out of my league. We webcammed a couple of times, so I knew she was legit and not catfishing me. I was dating the woman that would become my wife at the time and Monroe was a 5 hour drive from NOLA, so I never met her in person, which I regret. Anyway, her claim is that she was single, lonely, and looking on the internet because guys irl were too intimidated by her looks to date her. She even had the killer, rare, sexy Cajun Creole accent to match what was a perfect porcelain face and underwear models' body. However, I still don't buy the "guys were intimidated by me" line. Had anyone else run into this and have some insight?
• doctorevil

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  5 years ago

  “be the one guy that is not brown-nosing a pretty girl and stay in a position of control.” I don’t give out compliments to brown nose. I do it because—well I’m not really sure. If I’m talking to her beyond the basic pleasantries it means there’s something about her I like, and if the conversation continues I may find more things I like. Why not tell her? Sure she’s heard it a thousand times, but who doesn’t like compliments? My compliments have ranged from classy to complete classless. “You have a very pretty smile” to “nice ass.” They have been equally well received. I have also found a lot of dancers, even very pretty ones, are insecure in their looks. Could be stripper shit, sure, but I hear it often enough I don’t think so, at least not always. A pretty girl with nice perky B-cup tits will say she thinks they’re too small. Girls with Ds or Es says they’re too big. Spinners say they’re ass is too small, curvy girls think there ass is too big, etc.
• twentyfive

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  5 years ago

  I always get a positive reaction from females when I pay them a compliment, the raunchier ones are generally reserved for women that I know and have interacted with previously, but I am not shy about giving women compliments and I believe they enjoy them.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  "... I still don't buy the "guys were intimidated by me" line. Had anyone else run into this and have some insight ..." I kinda *do* buy this - may not be accurate 100% of the time (she may just be blowing-air up your ass); but I def do think it's somewhat of an issue for very-good-looking women. Perhaps analogous to the good looking guy in the strip-club where certain dancers may think it's not worth it to approach him b/c he doesn't need to pay for female attention - you know, how it happens to many of us TUSCLers.
• twentyfive

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  5 years ago

  ^ lol
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  To me it's kinda pointless to tell a stripper you are giving $$$ to that she's attractive - kinda like telling her the-sky-is-blue since you are giving her $$$ mainly, if not solely, b/c you think she's attractive. 9 out of 10 times I don't think it has any effect on them: + IMO, the SC is busine$$ for them - they are there to make $$$ not hoping to get complimented + the custy is a business relationship and not whom she would want/need compliments from, or from whom it would mean something IME, it can sometimes go to their head as sinclair mentioned where they now think they are "all that and a bag of chips", or at least think you think that of them, and they think they now don't have to try as hard and think they kinda have you wrapped around their finger (IME more-so w/ the younger more cocky dancers). My statements are not universal to all strippers of course, but complimenting dancers at best is a of neutral benefit and at times can be counterproductive, IMO/IME - and yes, sometimes it does hit the mark but IMPLO it's more of the exception (where they genuinely appreciate it vs just being polite and pretending you made their day b/c you are a sale). Of course, no harm in saying it especially if you are an experienced SCer that is not trying to be a romantic-Romeo and trying to make-her-like-you/pick-her-up.
• GoVikings

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  5 years ago

  I very rarely, if ever, compliment dancers on their looks. I figure if they’re working in a strip club they know they’re hot. Strippers are primarily selling looks/physical attractiveness. I mostly just go to the girls I’m interested in and ask them to come by and say hello and eventually I’ll buy dances. But I don’t compliment them because I figure they already know I find them pretty if I’m spending money on them haha
• WillMunny

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  5 years ago

  I tend to take this case-by-case. If I'm getting to know a dancer well enough to compliment her then it will be something sincere, even it is about her looks/body as opposed to something less superficial. Giving an insincere compliment would, I'm sure, sound just as goofy as it sounds to me when I get complimented by a dancer I've just met (handsome, nice eyes, big dick, etc). @NiceSpice - you have a fantastic rack 😘
• flagooner

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  5 years ago

  "Don’t Compliment Her Looks" Is it better to tell her that she's ugly?
• herbtcat

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  5 years ago

  Comments above run the gamut of perspectives. None are always wrong, none are always right. My point was in the specific situation the OP presented - how to start negotiations for VIP extras. My suggestion: don't be the pig who just wants to splooge all over some random hot body in a dance. Be the gentlemen-perv who see's a wonderful, beautiful, valuable woman - and who he wants to splooge all over in a dance. If he just goes straight in for "Great tits! Can I fuck you in VIP?" he's just a creep. If he establishes some rapport, he's much more likely to be considered. Of course, this is club and dancer specific. If it's a long standing high mileage club, it's much more likely she will just lay out her menu in the first minute (or less) of the conversation. Obviously, compliments about her looks are a good thing if done appropriately. But save it for a moment when it's genuine and meaningful, within the context of the overall process. First sentence: "Great tits!" - Bad When she puts your hands on her tits: "Oh my! These are amazing!" - Good.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  I've had plenty of dancers just tell me "you wanna go fuck in VIP" I think too-often many PLs are still thinking w/ their civilian hat on of thinking they gotta woo a girl and convince her to take your $$$ to fuck her - we all have our different M.O.s/preferences - I for one, when I go to a SC I rather deal w/ the stripper that doesn't have to be "courted/wooed" and is down for w/e - but again different SCers look for different things and some like to make it feel more like a real-date or a GFE thing. And yeah - there are dancers that may need some convincing and it may be worth the extra-effort and you "watching your step" - but I'm paying to not have to put in the extra-effort like I was on a civilian-date - not saying it's bad/wrong; just not my M.O./pref.
• jackslash

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  5 years ago

  Don’t compliment her on her looks? What should I compliment her on? Her in-depth knowledge of the world economic system?
• Liwet

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  5 years ago

  The ones who work out put a lot of time and effort into improving their body so if you compliment their work they've put in, I've found they let you use your hands to admire the end product.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  Often times it looks like to me dancers feel complimented when being rained-on for doing very little
• nicespice

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  5 years ago

  ->”Interesting perspective, Nicespice. Out of curiosity, how often are you dealing with PUA types? I think that a lot of standard-issue PLs forget that these guys are out there.” At least once a freaking shift. These customers tend to be in 20s or even early 30s though. Also of the “I can get laid anytime I want” variety. But also I tend to work more night shifts with a party like vibe. Glancing at your reviews, it seems you’re more of a daytime guy. If so, you probably are rarely at the table next to these guys. Sure daytime mongers may try to lowball, but it’s more rare of daytimers to go that far.
• joewebber

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  5 years ago

  you compliment a woman's looks when you are having sex. not before
• rogertex

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  5 years ago

  Honestly I have not met a beautiful woman who minds compliments - be it about her body, mind or heart. Dancer or civilian. As has been stated, keep them genuine. I'll say the same applies to guys. PL or otherwise. I can spot a fake compliment from a genuine one. And can never tire of receiving real compliments. Never! Same with women. And dancers.
• PaulDrake

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  5 years ago

  Everyone is different. With some dancers actively withholding compliments might be a valid strategy. With others negging (backhanded compliments) might also work (in a super manipulative way). Or complimenting something unusual like hair/makeup. Or just a regular compliment... Everyone is different and like different things or can be manipulated by different things. I think the only key rule is not to gush compliments. The drunk guy who is all like "OMG you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen you are completely perfect OMG!?!@?" that is not going to get you anywhere with a stripper. My personal strategy is just to figure out whatever I can see a dancer is self conscious about and then compliment that. That is pretty effective. I also like to give a few compliments to a fav right before I leave to sort of get them "pumped up" so they will be in a good mood to make money the rest of the day. That also works really well and I have had a few favs say they always make way more money on days I show up (not counting the money I pay them).
• flagooner

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  5 years ago

  Most dancers have are a bit insecure. IME they appreciate any compliment so long as they perceive it to be sincere.
• shadowcat

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  5 years ago

  Is it Okay to say "For a fat girl you don't sweat too much!"
• doctorevil

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  5 years ago

  How about this one, since it’s not about her looks: “You have a really tight pussy.”
• twentyfive

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  5 years ago

  How about that hat doesn’t make your ass look fat. ;)
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  How bout - "Wow you're so hot - look at the boner you're giving me" If that's not a well-received compliment then IDK what is.
• flagooner

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  5 years ago

  ^ I've actually used that.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  ^ I'm not surprised - I can tell you're the romantic type
• flagooner

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  5 years ago

  I was kinda lit.
• shadowcat

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  5 years ago

  I have used "Congratulations. You gave a grand father a hard on".
• bubba267

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  5 years ago

  Those questioning if there are girls who don't get asked out because they're too beautiful... Yes. There was a girl in my college who was literally a beauty queen, a classically trained dancer and cute as a button. None of the guys in the school including myself ever ask her out because we assumed she was over our level or already had a boyfriend.
• prevert

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  5 years ago

  I've always assumed that women in general, and dancers specifically, get comments on their physique all the time, and would appreciate hearing something else once in a while. Though there was a really gorgeous redhead at a club this weekend that seemed to appreciate being told she has a fantastic ass. I talked to her for a couple of minutes but she wasn't interested in what I was, so she went away. As she was walking away, I chased after her and told her "I realize this is a totally shallow comment and that your self-worth isn't dependent on my estimation of your attractiveness, but you have a really fantastic ass." She broke out in the cutest, seemingly genuine, dimpled smile I've seen in a long time. It didn't "work" in the way that I hoped, but she did come back around a few times after that, and I did end up getting a couple of dances from her. She let my hands wander, but hers didn't, so kind of uninspiring as dances, but she was interesting to talk to for while.
• Muddy

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  5 years ago

  I really only say it if I mean it. Whether it “works” or not I really don’t care. I just kind of say what comes to mind sometimes. It is it what is.