Lust for the night...
ThorForklift
Dark Times
So I’ve been seeing this dancer every time I go to this town on business. Saw her a number of times at the local club and then turned into coming to my hotel room for a visit. We never do anything except what we would do at the club, except I’m naked as well... she plays and fondles but never anything develops past that. She gets me hard instantly and plays with me but never instigates any handjob, oral or sex... and in a way it’s not bothering me because I like the whole scenario but I’m at the point where I’ve fallen for this woman and want to so much take it to the next level. I know the cardinal rule is don’t fall in love with a stripper but shit... I have! Every time I want to start talking about it I chicken out and that is so unlike me! But then again this is the first time I’ve been in this situation... it’s also affecting my personal life because all I do is think about her and I’m sure the feeling isn’t mutual. What would you guys suggest or do?
44 comments
So to answer my own question in a way I think I need to put this life to rest and see what develops afterwards and not lead this two faced life... I guess
The “don’t fuck up your life” comment helps a lot cause that is what I have been thinking. But reaching out sometime helps for your opinions.
Thank you
But if she balks... then I have to question it...
Talk with wife?
Talk with stripper?
Talk to your future self?
You're definitely at a decision point.
Good luck.
When I first “fell in love” with the object of my attention, she said to me,” You don’t love me. You love what I do for you.” We talked through all the emotions and other issues ( money) and she readily admitted she wouldn’t be there without the money. So we concluded that we were using each other. I was using her for sex with a beautiful young woman and she used me for $500 an hour. Several years later there was a relaxation of clock watching and we admitted we really enjoyed the other’s company.
Try to level with her and with yourself.
Having said that, if she thinks she can turn this into a big payday, she will play out the fantasy as far as she needs to.
Danger Will Robinson, danger !!!!!
You my friend fell really hard and she’s very good at what she does.
You were very wise to ask opinions. Now comes the hard part — you need to develop an action plan. Keep in mind that that you’ve been told in the responses above strippers sell a fantasy experience. That their motivation is separating you from your funds so that your funds become their funds. You must make some hard decisions and keep in mind that you should never mention, admit, hint at or tell anyone in your real world life. Because as sure as the Bear shits in the woods and that cute new puppy pisses in your shoes someone at some point will give that information to your wife. And imagine the shit storm that will create! Wife drama, in-law drama, friends drama, court drama —- all the drama any normal monger dreads and avoids.
Remember, deny, deflect, play dumb whatever necessary so as to not screw up your real world life. Mongering is a hobby or lifestyle choice that brings fantastic fantasies into our brains so we can survive the mundane day to day life we all go through.
Just some thoughts! Take them for what they are worth.
And though you haven't had sex with this dancer yet, I'm sure your significant other would consider what you do as cheating.
As @George123789 emphasized don't ever let anyone in your real life know about this adventure.
But ok, putting that aside...
Maybe it would have been better if you HAD stuck your dick in the girl a few times. Then maybe your head would clear and the infatuation would be gone. Then you'd just be one of the countless millions of married guys who get a little side tail on the sly instead of harboring these silly emotional feelings for a girl who you are paying for whatever.
If you have kids, I'd say cut her loose immediately before you go and do something really stupid and selfish like break up your family over a paid piece of ass. If you don't have kids and don't expect to, then I'm a bit more ambivalent about the situation as barren couples often break apart anyway - children and grandkids are really a cohesive element in most long-term marriages.
From Bullwinkle:
"Pour lye onto your hand, watch the skin bubble and burn, wash it away with vinegar. Look at it next time you ask this question and remember it was still a better idea then dating a stripper."
Deep down I know it’s not a good idea and just needed to air it and confirm it. I will break off this fantasy and get my shit back together. It’s been like a whirlpool of lust and fantasy and I couldn’t, or didn’t want to pull out..
Fuckin' A with these bizzaro type stories that almost never really happen in real interactions. The key to good fiction is the suspension of disbelief, which requires one to leave the house once in a while and actually interact with the people he is writing about. Just sayin.
Not to get all Icey on you, but these girls are generally really high time preference, low impulse control. The rapidity with which she would let a man she wanted fuck her would astound you (minutes). Her ability to fool around with you naked, repeatedly is strong evidence that she has absolutely zero organic desire for you, and she's been 100% certain about that since 5 minutes after you first met (at most).
She is never going to become your wife or girlfriend. Honestly, if she did, you would regret it more profoundly than you can imagine right now. These girls are way more annoying in real life than their fantasy personas.
She's a delicious treat. If you can afford the price, take a bite, savor it. Treats this sweet spoil rapidly. But don't take it home just to watch it get moldy. And don't think you can stop eating real food and subsist on nothing but treats without putting yourself in an early grave.
Couldn't pull out because you never put it in.
Her toying with him isn't even fantasy, its more like emotional blackmail at this point....he's in it too deep and she's taking advantage of that. Her not seeing him unless he pays proves that there's absolutely no attachment there on her part. If a hoe at least finds a trick fun or okay to hang out with she'll work on the price.
And Justaguy79 is right.... if a bitch wants you, you'll know right away. Especially ones like this or strippers. As far as them being annoying in real life...not any more than any other girl. But the drama....but it can be entertaining at times.
If you really want to pick up a hooker, being a trick can work but only if she's actually attracted to you and likes you. One of the biggest complaints amateur pimps have is losing hoes to tricks. Coz the hoes realize that their needs are met by the guy and they don't have to hoe. Its really not that uncommon.
The other way to do it is to just hang out where hoes hang out, and talk to them like any other girls...if they're attracted to you and you come across as enough of a bad boy they're pretty easy... having drugs helps leverage things your way too.
Again, strippers are sex-workers, they get asked for sex every day they work - asking for sex is not a crime.
Guys pay strippers to get what they want/need, not hope she'll give you what you want as in the civilian world.
You gotta decide what it is you want - if you want a genuine-relationship then I don't think you can be a customer - if you just wanna be a customer then you can't be so apathetic - for inexperienced SCers their frame of reference is civilian relationships and they think it should go the same with a stripper they are paying; it's two different things.
then it became a bit of a frustration and sex became a thought and want. But now it’s just at a point where do I really want to fuck her? I had fun and lord knows it provided me of endless jerk hours lol but then became an infatuation and I fell for her hard. But since this discussion and gut feeling I know it’s not right by me. For her it’s great, do what we do and get paid for doing nothing really.. so today I say have bills to pay and can’t see you and she’s like it’s okay, I’ll come over anyway and we can be together. Of course the weak side of me is like yes! But the logical side of me says she knows she has to spend some money to harvest the crop and will get the money back sooner or later...
I played it different and said not tonight, I’m tired and need to re-evaluate us and my life. She replied by saying it’s okay and she’s always there when I need her... which by itself speaks volumes...
next time I’m in town I will break it up and I know she will be disappointed because of the loss of $$$
At some bars, after you buy a few drinks, the bartender will say "next one's on me." Would you say no thanks, just because he's not really your friend?
I would not bother “breaking up” with her. Just don’t contact her. She already let you know that she’s there when you need her. Take a break to cool off.
“ I can’t afford you”
“ I’m not a hooker “
“ Then I really can’t afford you “
The key to a con is not that you trust the conman, but that he shows he trusts you. Conmen ply their trade by appearing fragile or needing help, by seeming vulnerable. We feel good when we help others--this is the basis for attachment to family and friends and cooperation with strangers. "I need your help" is a potent stimulus for action.