ThorForklift

Bavarian, lots of great advice from others here and ya, I wish bookmarking was possible.

I’m trying to break free of this relationship not keep it going. Free or not... the free is a hook that I just don’t need right now :)

It’s never been about the sex... at first I felt if no sex then it’s not really cheating but then it became more of truly enjoying the company and playfulness... then it became a bit of a frustration and sex became a thought and want. But now it’s just at a point where do I really want to fuck her? I had fun and lord knows it provided me of endless jerk hours lol but then became an infatuation and I fell for her hard. But since this discussion and gut feeling I know it’s not right by me. For her it’s great, do what we do and get paid for doing nothing really.. so today I say have bills to pay and can’t see you and she’s like it’s okay, I’ll come over anyway and we can be together. Of course the weak side of me is like yes! But the logical side of me says she knows she has to spend some money to harvest the crop and will get the money back sooner or later... I played it different and said not tonight, I’m tired and need to re-evaluate us and my life. She replied by saying it’s okay and she’s always there when I need her... which by itself speaks volumes... next time I’m in town I will break it up and I know she will be disappointed because of the loss of $$$

Thanks guys for all the advice and comments, it has been a couch session with a shrink that didn’t cost anything and probably way more effective with you guys. Deep down I know it’s not a good idea and just needed to air it and confirm it. I will break off this fantasy and get my shit back together. It’s been like a whirlpool of lust and fantasy and I couldn’t, or didn’t want to pull out..

Shit..... all of you make a lot of sense.... i know the money is the driving point from her perspective cause there have been times where it was bill time and I couldn’t afford her and she wouldn’t come see me... I know it’s a fantasy but guess I need you guys to slap me in the face with it.... still though a fantasy and feels good bit after a while you just get that used feeling... thanks guys, needed to hear from you for a reality check...