Why do some of you guys treat dancers as unlovable?

No they are people I would be open to it again. I have dated a few of them. Often times their shit is not together and they have personality “deficiencies” but the ones I have dated were just so fucking hot I overlooked it. Knew it wasn’t gonna last though. Normal people outside the SC world would perceive strippers as dirty. Not totally wrong but I just don’t give a fuck.

A woman's sexual history should not be seen as a measure of her worth or indicative of personality deficiencies. A woman who has slept with hundreds of people could be just as good of a person as a woman who has only slept with one person.

Give yourself a few years in this industry, see how jaded some of the strippers are, hopefully you don't become jaded yourself, and then you will probably see why a lot of these guys would not date a stripper.

I would, but sadly none have been interested in me.

I don't date anyone with whom, I have a business relationship. Didn't and don't date former clients for that reason as well. My wife and I were both promiscuous when young and while married as well, so if i gave a shit about a woman having sex with a few hundred men and women I'd not be coming up on 29 years. If I had paid her for dances when we first met, we'd have never dated. If I were single and met a dancer that skied, golfed, gambled, traveled, despised cell phones and liked eating clean I would reconsider, but that's never happening.

skibum that seems reasonable to me. I think its fine for someone to avoid a relationship with somebody for practical reasons of course, I guess the only thing that bothers me is some men here acting like dancers specifically are not worthy of being dated because of their lifestyle.

because the average poster on this site gravitates towards the "hot mess" type of dancer who goes home with customers, does drugs and extras, manipulates people 24/7, and is very jaded like michigan said. i don't prefer to date customers for the same kinds of reasons. there are some really cool, good people in the clubs but a lot of them are fucked up.. dancers and PLs alike

I myself am in the midst of beginning to date a dancer. She's leaving the industry but that is not the reason why I am willing to date her. If it works out great, if it doesn't, it doesn't. Everyone's a person, everyone has issues, you just try to find where your issues and hers don't conflict too much

Agree, a lot of guys go for the Hot Mess type. Are you listening Gawker?

SJG

1. Society Madonna/Whore complex.

2. And also just industry stigma. It attracts a lot of women who are either very socially rebellious or come from unenviable backgrounds.

Dividing women into two categories is the basis of patriarchy.

SJG

Cuz y'all be cray cray

I'm the one trying to date a dancer right now, so I'm not one of those guys you're talking about. Dancers are people too! Although many people treat you guys like you're not. It is very unfortunate

Obviously not every dancer is a perfect charm, many have their fair share of problems and issues. However I don't assume the whole crowd is like that based off of a couple rotten apples

Awful lot of generalizations going on here.

Cutie 404 to answer your question;

Because some of these tuscl people who claim to cherish freedom and fairness have created and live in a sexually oppressive society.

From the poem:
Foolish Men who accuse
(Hombres Necios que acusáis)
By Sor Juan Inéz de la Cruz
12 November 1648-17 April 1695 (aged 46)

Or who is more to blame,
even if both do act incorrectly:
she who sins for a wage
or he who pays for sinning?
 
Then, why are you so horrified
of the blame that you yourselves bought?
Love them the way you make them
or make them the way you want them.

Cutie404 the fact that you care about the feelings of other is a good thing for you. The more you care for the happiness of others, the greater your own sense of well-being becomes.

In other cultures and societies not influenced by western civilization, women could become prostitutes and courtesans since there were not any particular taboos attached with these professions.
 
From my own limited experience I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility (and happiness) comes from the development of love and compassion.

The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater your own sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a sincere close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities you may have and gives you the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life.

Please don’t worry be happy, don’t change remain compassionate and kind just forgive them because they know nothing.

It's crazy that I'm reading this post because just a few hours ago I was watching a YouTube video where Strippers/Dancers share their inner thoughts. One of those thoughts were that they think men who come into the club looking for relationships are sad and pathetic. They think it's creepy if a guy is looking for love in that setting and that they wish men would simply be able to leave it at dances and not expect their numbers in return. Obviously this thought doesn't belong to all Strippers but it's probably the one I hear about the most. That may contribute to the reason why some men won't date dancers.

^ the same dancers who say that tend to go home with customers and managers more than they will admit

Having the opinion that dancers are undateable is perfectly reasonable point of view for a guy to have. As a dancer, if those are the type of guys you want to be dating, or if it bothers you that they have that opinion, then it’s imperative on you to make choices and live your life in a way that’s going to make them see you as dateable.

I don’t think we characterize strippers as unlovable. It’s the drama and baggage that some bring into a relationship - that we’d rather avoid.

Remember, the guys here are older than most strippers. We’ve been through a lot of shit already in our lives, and we may have been through shit in our kids lives too. We don’t want more shit from a girlfriend - or fuck buddy.

I’m sure strippers are lovable. However, some folks might not date smokers - or drug users. There may also be folks looking to avoid stripper drama. If that’s not an option on match.com or Christian mingle - it should be!

My eyes have been opened! I am going to date a stripper, marry her and live happily ever after.

If I date a stripper, I have to be ok with the notion that any swinging dick with a few bucks in his pocket can gawk at her while she's naked. If he has $20-30, then he can even have her in his lap, groping her and maybe even playing with her tits. I also have to be ok with almost every guy I know, and a fair number of women, losing all respect for me once they learn that I tolerate this. And if all of that wasn't enough, I would also have to worry about whatever shit she might be going through on any given night in the club.

Oh yeah, sign me up for all of that. ;)

A tough minded young Russian stripper once said to me that she'd never want any guy who would be ok with her dancing. So she stayed away from serious relationships until she was ready to quit. That was very smart as most guys who would be ok with this are scumbags of one sort or another, which is why the loser boyfriend stories are so common.

i’m open to the possibility of love but the huge age difference most certainly enters into it. shit. I’m 40 to 50 years older than most the girls.

It's not productive to assume the possibility exists for you to date a stripper you meet in the club.

I think it's important to distinguish between the stripper who does this for a few years to make ends meet before moving on to something else and the stripper who clearly has no other options (or simply chooses not to pursue other options) and stripper for as long as she can make a buck at it.

While I'm not going to date a stripper myself, I think my CF is extremely dateable and I hope she finds a good relationship when she moves on.

I think Rick Dugan said it best: "A tough minded young Russian stripper once said to me that she'd never want any guy who would be ok with her dancing. So she stayed away from serious relationships until she was ready to quit. That was very smart as most guys who would be ok with this are scumbags of one sort or another, which is why the loser boyfriend stories are so common."

That's exactly what my CF is doing.

If I were still in my 20s, I might go on a few dates with a stripper, but in order for it to lead to anything more than that she'd have to stop taking her clothes off for money. Plain and simple.

Well said

STRIPPERCUTIE - Two people involved in the same transaction cannot be better or worse than the other. If there is something wrong with a dancer who accepts money for sexual favors, then there is something equally wrong with the man who pays them. Its either wrong or right for both and one is no better than the other. Last night I had a blast with a dancer who was the absolute epitome of what attracts me to a woman. It was even better because she was literally 500% cooler than I had assumed. The killer? I am soon to be 61 and she is 20. I would have to be the biggest retard on the planet to assume something beyond dancer/custie, so I will enjoy her, hope she has a great life and leave it at wow what a great night: Sox won, I made money on them and spent it on a spectacular woman.

Strippercutie, experience is the best teacher. If you dated strippers you’d understand why. The odds are stacked for something going awry, and the environment is conducive to dysfunction. What you learn is most people who mature would rather do without the hassle.

Dating them? Don’t be stupid. What your talking is a bunch of foolishness.

They are sex workers it’s play for play. They can make good SB I fuked one thru her 5 yr marriage, Great sex super fantasy zone.

Once a whore always a whore u will always be a John to them and their hubby or bf is a cuckhold.

Doing one on reg basis will get the price down. They will even fuk y thru the first 2 trimesters of their pregnancy bareback (do hope it’s hubbys) lol.

If u want love try eharmony lol.

I do consider one as sb as a relationship, cheaper than marriage. Getting it when you want it with a hot much younger woman a great hobby. It’s simply pay for play in a 1 hr fantasy zone and what I like is when fuk over they leave like lady. I only pay for services rendered. All it takes is money.

U could even keep her on side if in traditional dating relationship / marriage with another women assuming y sb keeper girl.

I do recommend doing just one sb that’s a really good one.

i Have fuked one a number of years more times than Joe Paterno had fb victories hot gal half my age. Great sex no hassles. Remember their feeling are for their husband / bf. If got money u can get pussy like that how and when u want. Money trumps all.

At the last lunch Date I had with my whore She said "If anyone truly knows me there is no way they could ever love me" at the time I thought she was crazy, after all I knew her and I loved her. Then I discovered the mountain of lies she told me, the mountain of reviews from ECCIE and TER, and I decided that she was right. Honestly if the only issue was that she was a stripper/escort then I could look past that..... It was the mountain of lies that made her completely and totally unlovable, the world, her kids, and her family would all be a better place without her fucking everything up

As a point of clarification.... I could look past her being a stripper/escort in her past.... I would never date a current stripper/escort

I've dated a couple. What they did before they met me has no bearing on my choice to date them or not ( unless they are an ax murder) but I have a problem what they do while they are dating me. Admittedly this is probably tied to my age as much as it doesn't seem to bother younger guys.

And I'm with Daddillac on this one (HS) the issues are truthfulness and reliability.

Hooking up is one thing but a real relationship can't exist without both and from what I have seen close up and as a casual observer the longer a woman is in the industry the less likely they seem to be able to be a partner. that is capable of being fully honest.

When it comes to the dating game, women have the upper hand. Of course theres a few, very few men outside of the bell curve that do well with women, but women have a way of getting what they want. A stripper on the other hand, is way more experienced in the dating game then a girl who does not strip. Theres been plenty of times i have been bambozzeled in the SC. in the other hand nonstrippers get sloppy and end up getting caught if they are trying to scam you. if a nonstripper is very good at not getting caught, it means shes a slut or being truthfull in your relationship. if you go to the strip club a lot, your conversation skills improve and youll notice you interact better with people outside the SC.

Many strippers—not all—will use and exploit a man who cares for them. They will say, “I love you”, and then use the emotional attachment to extract cash out of the PL. They will spend the PL’s cash on drugs and their boyfriends.

Strippercutie, let me be clear that my comments above have nothing to do with you as a person. For all I or anyone else here knows, you are a wonderful girl who would be a great catch for anyone.

For me, it has to do solely with your job. You chose a job that gives other men greater access to your naked body and, presumably, you earn good money for doing so. But making a choice like that comes with trade offs and if you know men at all, then you shouldn't be surprised that one of those trade offs involves how some men will view your work choice.

The Russian stripper I mentioned above was the complete package: beautiful, sexy, charming and smart as a whip. I have no doubt at all that she is well married by now and in a good financial situation. I also have no doubt that her husband has no clue that she ever danced and probably never will. She was a student of men and used dancing to get herself setup here in the U.S., but it was a means to an end rather than her identity.

Sex is one of those things for most people that they just dont talk about.... picture yourself at your 20 high school reunion, I guarantee you would rather tell your friends that you got divorced and went bankrupt than you would tell them you were a stripper doing OTC once a week.

I adore, appreciate, and respect all the strippers who have become my ATFs, and especially love the few who have become my FWBs. I have stayed in touch with strippers who retired 10+ years ago ... I wouldn't do that with someone I think of as "diseased" or "unlovable".

Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm going to go around suggesting 50 year old guys date strippers, either, because:
1. The strippers I've gotten really close to, enough to glimpse into their lives and their relationships with men -- it's always been not-pretty
2. Lots of guys across many different forums have discussed dating a stripper -- once. All of our stories are VERY similar, with very few exceptions: a roller-coaster of high-highs, mixed with deception, manipulation, betrayal, flakiness, etc. It's not just a coincidence that we're all saying the same exact things
3. I can't prove it, but given that most of us are in our 40s, 50s, 60s ... I might hypothesize that a 23-year-old smoking hot stripper who is going to date a 50-year-old, is even more likely to be damaged in her romantic relationships.

In short, "don't date a stripper" has nothing to do with "diseased and unlovable", you're projecting that. Still, totally understandable that you're hurt over "don't date a stripper" advice, I totally get it. But what do you suggest -- we all pretend that we HAVEN'T all heard these horror stories of dating strippers, over and over? I will endeavor to state it in my sensitive and understanding terms, don't mean to make anyone feel bad

Q. Why is dating a stripper like riding a roller coaster?

A. You have a lot of ups and downs, everybody gets a turn, and when you get off you want to puke.

The thing is, a lot of these OLDER folks have most likely already dated strippers. And do their experience, they have deducted that strippers are bad investment for them. Half a time these women just like in real relationships have been too loose or too flimsy to to be considered stablemates. Also many woman even outside of the stripper world, have shown that they won't date John's that go to strip clubs either for their own Ministry or reasons. Even if have those meals may be wrong about the individual not the party of the whole. Look at it this way, what reason would you give to not date a person at strip club. Whatever reason you say put that in the shoes of a John who thinks about dating a stripper.

My 85 year old Mom who thinks strip clubs are abusive goes nuts over the fact that I still go and have always gone and that my doesn't give a shit. She once asked my wife how she could tolerate it. My wife smiled and said: "he's still the same asshole I married". She bought me 13 at the Inner Room 2 weeks ago while she did shots and watched the stage.

Meals = women
Ministry = views

strippercutie,

The few strippers I've gotten to know on a personal level, I like them. They're cool, they're hot, I appreciate their qualities, and I hope the best for them in their personal lives and stripping careers and ultimate post-stripping careers. Would I like to casually date those girls and have it include sex that comes with dating - you betcha. Have I? - no.

The problem I foresee would arise with catching feelings for her (inevitable most likely, for me at least) or being her SO. The ones I've gotten to know have a mixture of flakiness, deception, and personal and family drama I couldn't deal with long term and it's too bad because I like everything else about them. And I don't profess to be no saint - my PL-hood has a deception level too.

So to echo Subraman, don't confuse reluctance to date a stripper with the stripper being "diseased" or "unlovable".

^And echoing Cashman as well

Truth be told many strippers are quite lovable, problem arises with us mongers, we know too much about their lifestyle and I personally cannot abide the idea that my girl is available to any guy with the price of a lap dance, can gripe and molest, my gf. So yes I’ll date them casually but I can’t invest my feelings into a relationship with a woman, that is currently cheating on me for money.

^^^ But if you ask a stripperweb dancer she would say that a guy that dates a dancer has to be a very secure man.

I never could understand that logic. I’d think that if you were a secure guy you wouldn’t have to date a stripper because you’d have enough confidence in yourself to avoid the BS by dating a civi instead. Things that make you go hmmmm.

^ That's pure unadulterated bullshit or stripper web shit !

Tell us how you really feel 25

I think men who start dating a stripper have no idea what they are getting into. And for starters let's assume she's relatively sober with no kids.

If you have a Monday to friday 9 to 5 job it can be hard to date a waitress. Strippers may often only work 3 days a week, but she likely is on a different schedule.

I've met a few dancers I would have considered setting up with a friend. One who legitimately hung up her stilletos at 25 to start med school. A couple artsy fartsy types who will never have a real career but seem relatively stable. And a bunch where the crazy is lurking beneath the surface.

At the end of the day most women want a guy who cares enough to get jealous, and that is not super comaptible with grinding on guys for cash.

"Men" who view dancers as unlovable are just projecting. They feel they're unlovable and have nothing to offer but a few dollars, so they pretend like dancers are the ones who are somehow deficient. When in reality its them.

And yeah dancing can be fucked up and a dancer may need to get fucked up to deal with her job. But guess what, its the tricks and custies who are the reason she can't do her job sober, yes they can be and are that repulsive. Hell a lot of the tricks in this forum are cringe worthily repulsive.

They are not unlovable.... I love fucking them

Lmao TRAP - 10's don't marry fucking 5's. Repulsive goes both ways, with you leading the pack as a 1.

Lol player11 I'm a girl.

I don't really agree with labeling people with derogatory terms. Prostitutes and customers are still lovable.

RickDugan I feel the opposite of your Russian girl, I really wouldn't want to date a guy unless he knew about me dancing and was okay with it. I don't know why you guys think a relationship like this is less honest because I view it as actually being more honest than a traditional relationship where people are controlling and have to hide their extramarital sex from each other as if they were one another's parents.

They don't understand women. They're nothing but fucking tricks. Truth is its the trick whose unlovable, he's the one paying for what comes the most naturally to normal men.

That's really unfair of you to say PhatBoy. Most of the guys I've danced for have been perfectly decent gentlemen, they are not unlovable they are just lonely.

SC: Phatboy is a fake user, doing schtick. He goes back and forth between a cringeworthy impersonation of a pimp, and sounding just like one of us (because it IS just an alternative persona of someone here). That's why it doesn't trigger an avalanche of defensiveness.

To put the shoe on the other foot: I don't think we're unlovable, but we're probably not a great dating target for strippers, either. Works both ways.

Subraman, you don't know shit about me so shut it!

Of course tricks are unlovable. You think a woman wants a man who is "lonely" and socially awkward so he resorts to paying hookers for sex and brags about it online???

Strippercutie: "RickDugan I feel the opposite of your Russian girl, I really wouldn't want to date a guy unless he knew about me dancing and was okay with it."

Then you'll get the type of guy who would be ok with it. That's fine. Not every girl wants a vanilla lifestyle or necessarily needs a guy her own age who can earn in order to be happy. So long as you find what you want, that's all that matters I suppose.

In the case of the Russian girl, she knew that the types of guys that she was interested in would not approve, so she did what she needed to do to meet her own goals. To each her own and good luck. :)

I personally am just not ready for a relationship. I am only going to be in my hometown for about ten months before I'm hoping to leave and go to college at UM so trying to be in a relationship would be very inconvenient at this time even if I did meet a guy who wanted an open relationship and was okay with me dancing. And when I get to UM I don't plan on staying permanently in Miami so a relationship there wouldn't really work either. So right now I'm just trying to have a lot of fun. I don't think there's anything wrong with deciding you don't want a relationship with a dancer for any kind of practical reason but I guess I just was bothered by the idea of men seeing me as being too dirty to date.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm up for a few hours of lovin' from strippercutie404 :)

Haha Michigan based on all the PMs I've been getting since I joined I can DEFINITELY tell you that you are not the only one ;)

I have been in Love and made love with many dancers over the years. I have one now that I have known for about 7 years and we love each other very much and would do anything for each other. I practice polyamory though and just dont love one person.

Why do so many dancers act in a way that make customers not want to pursue a BF/GF relationship with them?

It makes it harder for those who would be a good catch to be taken seriously.

Plus, most PLs just plain aren't looking for anything more than immediate gratification. Isn't that why SCs exist?