So I’m sitting at the bar chatting with a very cute dancer leaning into my lap. She’s not really the best conversationalist, but she's doing her best and has got her very cute bubble butt lodged firmly in my lap. During a lull in our conversation, a PL sitting a bar stool away leans over and starts chatting with her. It wasn’t just a brief hello. He tried to engage her in a lengthy conversation. WTF? I think it’s well known stripper etiquette that one stripper doesn’t interject herself while another stripper is working a PL. I think the same principle applies to PLs: it’s rude to interject yourself into a conversation between a dancer and another PL. Anyone have this happen to them? Are there any other PL rules of etiquette that should be observed?
I was at a club with a VERY drunk friend of mine (it was a group of us....) and he tried this move once, and almost got KTFO because of it...... While it was rude of him to do so, the lull is what gave him the opportunity.... If you want her to stay cash is king...... either take her for a dance, or specifically pay her for her time to stay.....(Or take the other route and tell the other guy to stfu!)
@doctorevil I too respect and expect the etiquette of leaving a stripper-PL interaction alone. My only exception is when everyone is already aquatinted with each other.
But honestly in that situation I would let her talk to the dude and just focus on getting a boner with her on my lap. LOL as she talked I would preoccupy myself with that and also rubbing on her ass and back. When life gives you lemons...
Sirlap has a good suggestion. I have another one as well.
Say “I want to change seats so I can hear you better. Want to go with me?” My rationale is so that you can gague her reaction. If it’s not to your liking...next!
Yeah it's kinda being an ahole starting a convo with a girl hanging with another custy - IMO a smile and a nod to let her know your interest is ok, but to interject yourself is disrespectful IMO.
One can argue she's not your woman and he has as much of a right to her, but still an ahole move by him - and I can see some guys getting frustrated bc the other guy has had her locked down for a good while seemingly just sitting there and not doing much, but one should go about it a different way.
IMO not much you can do bc she's nit your woman but it is a douche move IMO.
I have had it happen a couple of times. When it was an obnoxious older guy who started talking at the stripper I was with, I claimed her by putting my arm around her waist and pulling her close and joined the conversation like we were a group of friends and all was well (he was with a different stripper). It sounds similar to your situation. Best move imo, would be to keep low-key touching her, signalling that while he might be forcing a conversation with her, she is occupied.
Most dancers will acknowledge a custy speaking to them but I think she should've noticed the situation and either leave you for him or cut him off and focus on you - again I don't think the OP is in a position to say the other guy can't talk to her.
> The stripper has some ownership in it too. She should not be ignoring her current customer.
When it's an awkward situation that comes up once in almost never and part of her allure is her sweetness, I have a hard time faulting her for something like this.
@ppwh I get what you are saying and I wouldn't have a big issue if it were a short and sweet conversation but any longer she should be sweetly returning to the guy who's lap she's sitting on.
(Unless of course the guy is already preoccupied with groping her.)
I was that other guy once but I didn't talk to the stripper...just looked and we smiled at each other. But when she went onstage I tipped her very well and asked about the other guy. She said he just wants someone to drink champagne with. We eventually went for a VIP and I left a happy man as the saying goes. He was not there when we finished.
Steve: It's not like I had her locked down for a while without getting dances. She really wan't with me that long, and I can't remember if this was before or after I had gotten several dances from her. But clearly, she was working me for more in her own way, snuggling up to me with her but in my lap. I'm not a confrontational type (at least not any more), so I would tell anyone to STFU, unless they were being exceptionally belligerent. Even then, I would probably just move or get staff involved.
Sir L: That's basically what I did. I already had my arm around her waist, so I hugged her a little tighter and started massaging her thigh with my other hand.
NiceSpice: Very good idea. I can try that next time, but hopefully there won't be a next time. This was a first for me in several decades of going to strip clubs.
Papi: I agree. I know I don't have any property rights, but again it's not like a had her locked down for an extended period. And clearly she was working me for some $$, snuggling up, etc. I wouldn't have had any problem if she thought things weren't panning out with me and she moved over to him.
By the way, the dancer handled it very well. The interaction really didn't last that long, although he was persistent. She just smiled and nodded her head a couple of times, and then turned her attention back to me.
Most guys know not to do this, but every so often some dipshit will try it. When this happens, I find reasons to make fun of him. Usually he provides plenty of ammo just from what he says to the girl in my lap. Nothing shuts down one of these weird fuckers faster than being embarrassed in front of a girl.
> But when she went onstage I tipped her very well
> Was that wrong?
> He was not there when we finished.
I hope not. I always thought stage was fair game. And if someone else is spending bigger $$$ than one wants to compete with to go back another night when she's working.
@magicrat you did it like a good PL is supposed to. The open stage is where you can converse with a stripper and where you establish when you can get together. From there it's on her.
magic: "I was that other guy once but I didn't talk to the stripper...just looked and we smiled at each other. But when she went onstage I tipped her very well and asked about the other guy." Nothing wrong with that at all. That's the way the game is played. But I think it's douchey to just interject yourself into someone else's conversation. When I go to a SC, i have no interest in interacting with other PLs (unless it's a meetup or I go with someone else, which is very rare nowadays). I go for one reason only.
I would never interject myself in a dancer/customer conversation uninvited. This girl looked bored as hell so I smiled at her and she smiled back which gave me the opening to talk with her a bit on stage. And what dancer leaves a customer after he's bought a bottle of champagne? It seemed weird but she was the hottest girl there and showed some interest so.....
@doctorevil she took care of you right but also since she is so close to you, you simply start talking to her by whispering in her ear and steering the conversation back to you and her. Completely ignore the dude like he doesn't exist and just keep flirting with her.
I have not ever had that exact thing happen to me, but I've had regulars get impatient and try and Alyssa Milano their way into my space to let their intentions be known. I've never had a dancer leave for another customer before I was ready for her to go, at least not that I can remember, so don't really care about stuff like that.
"Are there any other PL rules of etiquette that should be observed?"
Lots. But how many customers ever have the self awareness to learn what they are?
When a stripper is in a PL’s lap, she is his ho. And you don’t talk to another guy’s ho until he’s done with her. Then, and only then, can she be your ho.
What is a girl is not in the PL's lap, but say at a table with another stripper and two PLs? They're not sitting on their laps or even drinking anything, just hanging out, if that. Sometimes the girl will be just be looking off. Or she's due up on stage in a few songs. If she gets a dance, she doesn't have to go on stage, but in her current situation, she's not likely to get a dance anytime soon from that table, or get "rescued" from the stage.
Or you might get a case where all four seats at the table are occupied by PLs but two girls are standing/leaning around. In that last case, i don't think anyone is "claiming" them and it's might be considered more rude to the stripper than the PL in that she was hoping to get a dance out of that group instead of a random PL that might be lower on her preconceived totem pole.
In any case, a little bit of observation and deduction and a good dose of savoir faire goes a long way...
In my view - the other customer was being an ahole. If he tried to take a guido’s dancer (in certain low end clubs) - he would be picking his teeth up off the floor.
There is etiquette among pl’s - and it’s a basic courtesy to leave dancers alone when they are interacting with another customer.
If I understand your description - you were getting a nice grind going - and it would have been obvious to others that this was a private interaction.
I am on the far end of the spectrum - as I have said hello to dancers - not knowing their customer was in the men’s room - and then apologized after. If there’s any chance she’s with a customer - I stay away.
I would never interject other than to say hello. It is the dancers job to leave if she decides another PL is the better business move. In my experience, PL's that do this are either 1. a bf or pimp, 2. a guy who thinks their relationship is more than just business (it probably is not), 3. or a guy who thinks he is someone special and the rules don't apply to him.
From my perspective, the dancer should have said I am busy, I will come to you when I am done. I think I would have found a different young lady to occupy my time and needs.
I never sit at the bar, but I HAVE used the waitress as an emissary to discreetly whisper to the girl, "That guy over there is interested in spending some time with you if you're not stuck here." And the dancer has said something to the PL and come to join me.
-->"When a stripper is in a PL’s lap, she is his ho. And you don’t talk to another guy’s ho until he’s done with her. Then, and only then, can she be your ho."
JS, once she goes on stage, she's fair game IMO (and I know from your stories, you seem to agree). I'll catch her at stage and just give her a "when you're done with your customer, I'd love to do some dances", let her decide where to go from there
In the Strip Club Jungle, the law of the jungle is temporarily put on hold or modified.
I think generally the polite etiquette most customers follow if to leave a customer and his hoe sitting with him, alone. But approach on stage is OK. It's generally the polite thing to do. It's what I do.
Dick move on his part. I've never had it happen. I've been the other guy a few times, but I'd use a different approach. A head nod and a smile is sufficient. Any more than that is asking for an ass kicking.
Dancer in a PL's lap is clearly "spoken for" so it's poor customer etiquette for another guy to try to snake her away. Interjecting into the conversation without the express purpose of poaching the dancer is less of a clear-cut violation, but still bad form on the third party's part.
There's a sliding scale here based on how engaged the PL and dancer are. Sitting on his (with apologies to Lopaw et al) lap is more "off limits" than if she's in another chair at his table, or on the adjacent barstool. Whether or not they're actively engaged in conversation and/or any physical contact also affects the math on whether or not approaching her is fair game.
The dancer's obligations are worth reviewing also. If "customer B" tries to engage her in conversation, she shouldn't be obliged to be rude (since she may well need to make money from B later), but "customer A" should have "right of first refusal" - i.e. she gives him a chance to spend more before ditching him for B.
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But honestly in that situation I would let her talk to the dude and just focus on getting a boner with her on my lap. LOL as she talked I would preoccupy myself with that and also rubbing on her ass and back. When life gives you lemons...
Sirlap has a good suggestion. I have another one as well.
Say “I want to change seats so I can hear you better. Want to go with me?” My rationale is so that you can gague her reaction. If it’s not to your liking...next!
One can argue she's not your woman and he has as much of a right to her, but still an ahole move by him - and I can see some guys getting frustrated bc the other guy has had her locked down for a good while seemingly just sitting there and not doing much, but one should go about it a different way.
IMO not much you can do bc she's nit your woman but it is a douche move IMO.
When it's an awkward situation that comes up once in almost never and part of her allure is her sweetness, I have a hard time faulting her for something like this.
(Unless of course the guy is already preoccupied with groping her.)
Was that wrong?
Sir L: That's basically what I did. I already had my arm around her waist, so I hugged her a little tighter and started massaging her thigh with my other hand.
NiceSpice: Very good idea. I can try that next time, but hopefully there won't be a next time. This was a first for me in several decades of going to strip clubs.
Papi: I agree. I know I don't have any property rights, but again it's not like a had her locked down for an extended period. And clearly she was working me for some $$, snuggling up, etc. I wouldn't have had any problem if she thought things weren't panning out with me and she moved over to him.
By the way, the dancer handled it very well. The interaction really didn't last that long, although he was persistent. She just smiled and nodded her head a couple of times, and then turned her attention back to me.
> Was that wrong?
> He was not there when we finished.
I hope not. I always thought stage was fair game. And if someone else is spending bigger $$$ than one wants to compete with to go back another night when she's working.
One who wants to make some money for herself instead of just for the club, I would imagine.
I have not ever had that exact thing happen to me, but I've had regulars get impatient and try and Alyssa Milano their way into my space to let their intentions be known. I've never had a dancer leave for another customer before I was ready for her to go, at least not that I can remember, so don't really care about stuff like that.
"Are there any other PL rules of etiquette that should be observed?"
Lots. But how many customers ever have the self awareness to learn what they are?
‘All is fair in love and war’.
Or you might get a case where all four seats at the table are occupied by PLs but two girls are standing/leaning around. In that last case, i don't think anyone is "claiming" them and it's might be considered more rude to the stripper than the PL in that she was hoping to get a dance out of that group instead of a random PL that might be lower on her preconceived totem pole.
In any case, a little bit of observation and deduction and a good dose of savoir faire goes a long way...
There is etiquette among pl’s - and it’s a basic courtesy to leave dancers alone when they are interacting with another customer.
If I understand your description - you were getting a nice grind going - and it would have been obvious to others that this was a private interaction.
I am on the far end of the spectrum - as I have said hello to dancers - not knowing their customer was in the men’s room - and then apologized after. If there’s any chance she’s with a customer - I stay away.
From my perspective, the dancer should have said I am busy, I will come to you when I am done. I think I would have found a different young lady to occupy my time and needs.
JS, once she goes on stage, she's fair game IMO (and I know from your stories, you seem to agree). I'll catch her at stage and just give her a "when you're done with your customer, I'd love to do some dances", let her decide where to go from there
I think generally the polite etiquette most customers follow if to leave a customer and his hoe sitting with him, alone. But approach on stage is OK. It's generally the polite thing to do. It's what I do.
Usually I'm the Guido. ;)
There's a sliding scale here based on how engaged the PL and dancer are. Sitting on his (with apologies to Lopaw et al) lap is more "off limits" than if she's in another chair at his table, or on the adjacent barstool. Whether or not they're actively engaged in conversation and/or any physical contact also affects the math on whether or not approaching her is fair game.
The dancer's obligations are worth reviewing also. If "customer B" tries to engage her in conversation, she shouldn't be obliged to be rude (since she may well need to make money from B later), but "customer A" should have "right of first refusal" - i.e. she gives him a chance to spend more before ditching him for B.