Catching feelins...

101 comments

• shailynn

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  6 years ago

  You lose your mind. Just ask JS69. After my last “emotional” relationship with a stripper I vowed never to do that again and just keep interactions with strippers based totally on sex. I’ve going on 9 years “stripper sober” so to speak.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I slap myself.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^ good insight poley.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  Depends if your single or not If single fuck it and go for it Only one life to live
• Warrior15

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  6 years ago

  Poledancer. Are you falling in love with me ????
• Warrenboy75

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  6 years ago

  When a dancer really falls in love money stops exchanging hands between the two of you. You also stop going to the club she works in ( if she continues to work because if you really care for the girl you really don't want her up on stage in a thong in front of people or grinding on guys for $20 a ride) If you want more first hand observations I can keep going........ I'm on the chapter in the book at the moment where the girl realizes she really f'd up and wants you back but I know better..........
• poledancer83

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  6 years ago

  yes warrior take me im yours lol
• Warrior15

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  6 years ago

  Next time I'm in Narnia babe !
• poledancer83

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  6 years ago

  curious what love and work have to do with one another? if you actually loved someone does what she do for a living really matter?
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^From what perspective, think about this most guys like strippers but if you have real feelings sharing isn’t really caring.
• poledancer83

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  6 years ago

  how is it sharing?
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  C’mon poley you aren’t stupid, I’m not gonna get into that trap where you say it’s your body to monetize as you see fit. There’s no good reason to have this debate, your original post was spot on. The rest of this convo is just gonna be a lot of noise.
• Mate27

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  6 years ago

  It’s discussions like these that really bring out the pathetic in losers.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^True dat
• poledancer83

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  6 years ago

  no im not trapping anyone im just honestly curious. why does it matter?
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  Because all your going to get are people with agendas to post, and then some armchair psychologist is going to validate or invalidate how folks feel. People feel things emotionally when they, are confronted by this stuff and you know it.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  Poledancer, consider this one: If you really love someone should it matter that he/she is a lawyer?
• Smalltowncpl

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  6 years ago

  I have a friend that falls in love every time he is in a SC.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  When I feel in love and she as well... I visited her every Tuesday at open...Club was dead... I stayed until the club was busy then left.... usually I'd get four hours of time with her...chatting and snuggling at the table.... never one penny spent once the emotions started.... when I first meet her ID spend forty on two dances.... after six months of visits we moved in together and I stopped visiting her Club.... she loved dancing and I loved that she was a dancer so she kept working... she worked in a non extras Club and she was an air dancer lol.... I know I know...give me hell blowing money on a air dancer lol. We was tougher for three years and a half. Broke up just because we'll let's face it most relationships do around five year's and I'm not ever marring so just time to move on. Best sex of my life and some of my most fondest memories of a dancer... I also learn that I was more of a lying thieving wore than she was lol.... she was actually extremely honest.... I'd read her diaries and discovered this.....she was an amazing women in general and I wish we well Can't wait until I find my next one That's been four years now lol... hard to find although I do believe I've had a few close calls Usually I try and avoid this situation but usually if I'm a regular I tend to have an affect on some dancers and I have a soft spot for a bad bitch
• JohnSmith69

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  6 years ago

  When I fell in love with a stripper, I responded by spending a couple of hundred thousand dollars on her. I took her on trips all over the world and had a fantastic time. We fucked every week, often many times a week. Was my response mature or rational? Of course not. But I don’t regret a penny of what I spent and if so it all over again in a heart beat.
• JohnSmith69

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  6 years ago

  The last sentence was supposed to say that I would do it all over again.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @poledancer. Tell you what how does a guy go into a strip club several times a month see dozens of amazingly beautiful women over a period of months or years, keeps it businesslike all of that time, then one visit he happens to meet one that he just clicks with, the rest is determined by how she handles it.
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  @Poley We you fall in Love with a woman her value increases exponentially. Some nasty mother fucker getting to out his hands on her for $20 - $40 a pop just isn't worth it, you feel like it should be thousands upon thousandsof dollars for that privilege. You also get very protective of who she dances for. You want her to feel empowered and respected at all times every second she's working, and unfortunately they don't screen customers on their respectfulness. When you love a woman your mind perceives her as the most valued of anything in your life. Most guys wouldn't let anybody disrespect their house their car or any other thing, so they're not going to be cool with other men treating their woman in a way that is less that a queen.
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  @ There are phones then there are iPhones. My girl is always going to be the most valuable girl in the world to me because I am the most valuable person in the world to myself, so whoever is with me by default is the best :)
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  Only a low self-esteem dumb piece of shit is ok with his girl getting rubbed on for $20 a pop. Fuck that. And let you drive my car from one curb to the next for $20
• shailynn

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  6 years ago

  TUSCL member that has had the most strippers fall in love with him? You’d think it would be Ricky D? No my friend that would be GACA.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  Only a low self-esteem dumb piece of shit is ok with his girl getting rubbed on for $20 a pop. Disagree but each is own A very loving and open minded individual can be very cool with that situation and $20 for three to four minutes of time is a lot of cash... most don't even make that in an hour. To be cool with my girl being a stripper doesn't mean I have low self-esteem... it just means I'm very confident in myself and OK with things Jealous men or even a God is a sign of low self-esteem issues and that's just the tip of such negative behavior
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  John Smith if the poker god's ever give me your level of income I'll spend just as lavish if I fall in love
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @GACA Great answer, that is exactly right, no self respecting guy is gonna be comfortable, his girl being a dancer, it may be hypocritical but that’s the way it is.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  It might sound harsh - but I strongly doubt that I will catch feelings for a woman during the remainder of my life. I pissed that away when I cheated on my ex wife (with strippers). I caught feelings for a stripper once - but I was stupid - and didn’t realize it was infatuation. It was probably a mix of infatuation and lust - and the amazement over thinking a hot younger woman actually desired me. I knew it was her job - and I should have taken a step back and stopped. So, to offer a serious answer, I don’t expect it to happen. It would be nice to have strong feelings again for a woman - I agree. I’ve learned to separate my sexual desires and feelings - and keep them separate. Of course - I could fall for a set of swollen pussy lips....lol
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  In the Hebrew Torah the book of Hosea the prophet Jehovah tells him to marry a prostitute The book purpose is to illustrate God's love for his unfaithful people It's also a beautiful depiction of loving a unlovable person Unconditional love is powerful... the object of the affection hasn't earned it or can't lose it The love just is
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  stripers/ eacorts/ sa/ women attraction can be a roller coaster ride...
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  If you are familiar with the book o Hosea, than you’ll remember she is told to cling to her husband, and forego her past, to start a new beginning. He is told not to judge her for her past but to love her for the future they can have. Using scripture is good but it goes both ways Juice for every verse there is a contradiction.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  It’s impressive how you can quote the Torah and admire Iggy Azealas ass - a man of many insights!
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  @Juice and $20 for three to four minutes of time is a lot of cash... most don't even make that in an hour. If quick money was a priority in life I'd be a drug dealer. $20 for 3 minutes to have a stranger use my bathroom wouldn't be enough for me. So you think that would be even close to enough to touch the woman I love? Fuck that. it's not jealousy, I'm not afraid that she's going to fall in love with this guy or like this guy more than me. If my girl could get a guy to give hera$100 dollars a minute I might be sorta cool with it, but in the end it's about these men showing more respect and appreciation to the girl I'm with as I have for her myself. The privilege to touch the girl I'm with is priceless, you can't put a dollar amount on it. Not a jealousy thing, it is how much I appreciate her and value her that $20 isn't worth some guy being able to get off to her, you better bring the Brinks truck, and maybe just maybe I might allow it. I don't respect money as much as other people on this board dude money is just a tool for me to have and experience I am seeking. At the end of the day for me my priorities in life is experience, dignity, honor respect, and good will. I am priceless. The girl I choose to share my life with is also priceless. There isn't a dollar amount that you could put on it to have some grimy motherfucker come in and desecrate that.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  I keep things to falling in lust with strippers. If it ever starts bordering with love, thinking about my relationship and true love with my wife kills it and I realize it is just lust.
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  I say all that and I still have a thing for smut, sluts and other filth... Go figure :)
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  Twenty five I agree... I used to have the Bible audio read to be in full once a week for ten year's.... I've also done very in depth looks into every book using Jewish and Christan conservative and liberal insight. I'm a liberal believer in the Abraham God and use the Torah, Christian Testament and Koran as training wheel's I'm a firm believer that Christ in his missing year's was in India learning some form of Buddhism I do believe holy books are for children and once one has grown spiritual we must leave these imperfect books to connect with our own personal relationship with the Divine as Job did in the end of the book He says I know have seen God with my own eyes Meaning I know have a personal relationship with God
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  To follow up on another part of this discussion - I’d have no issue with a partner being a stripper or whore. I have learned to compartmentalize my emotions - and I’m sure a stripper or whore could do the same. The sex is an act - and it doesn’t mean anything. The emotions are the dangerous part - and emotions are more likely to get in the way in strip clubs - but that has a very low chance of happening.
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  GACA I understand your stance and respect it. That's the same view Bobby Hoff has... the bunny ranch owner and when he dates one of the girls the price on her pussy goes way up You shod read his biography it's an amazing read
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  TUSCL member that has had the most strippers fall in love with him? You’d think it would be Ricky D? No my friend that would be GACA. Well I am a disciple of The System(TM) And like the apostle Paul, I am doing more with it than the founder :)
• JuiceBox69

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  6 years ago

  Funny thing about the system Boy is I follow a version of it myself I just leave out the crack wore Only mess with girls with weed addictions But visiting girls on the regular feeding them bread and building a relationship of trust then paying a heavy fee has worked well for me
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  I made the mistake of falling in love with a stripper.... other than my marriage that was the biggest mistake of my life at least financially and looking back emotionally as well. You cannot fall in love without honesty on both sides and when there is money involved you are not going to get that honesty. I have thought several times about how to get even with my bitch for what she did..... what I have come to is this.... According to my accountant she received in cash from me 236,000 dollars. After me she was selling her pussy for 200 bucks an hour, I'm guessing the money I gave her is gone. So she is broke and there is no way for me to get my money back Second, she broke my heart. She is a cold heartless bitch. There is no way to break someones heart when they do not have one. So I have moved on, however I will never fall in love again, ITC, OTC, Escort, Civvie, etc.... Dont trust them
• Stripclubaddict1

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  6 years ago

  I fall in love every time I’m in a SC, for at least 15 minutes
• poledancer83

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  6 years ago

  Here is my take on things. People arent afraid of the nudity but the relationships that may occur. I have had boyfriends watch me disrobe for lets say a dr appointment with a male doctor. obviously no harmful intentions but if i did the same for a random stranger they would be pissed about it. its about emotions nothing more
• RandomMember

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  6 years ago

  We should submit some of these stories to The Journal of Abnormal Psychology. Middle-age guys falling in love with teenage sex workers and spending several hundred grand over a period of several months.
• shailynn

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  6 years ago

  Uh excuse me random, my sex worker was not a teenager!!!! Lol
• rockstar666

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  6 years ago

  Poledancer: When you have a crush on someone (PL or otherwise) you see if they're interested in going out on a date to see if you have a spark together. I recently had a dancer crush on me (and me on her), and it's not a "dancer and a PL" thing...just two people having that tingly feeling when they go out. This is by no means a common thing to have happen; dancer relationships tend to be exploitive by one or both parties. Sharks abound...
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  mine was not a teenager either.... at least physically, mentally I do not think she progressed past 9th grade. She is a single mom with two kids.... That is who I feel the most sorry for, those kids did not ask to be born to a lying manipulative bitch.... they would be better off if she had aborted them and so would we.... she will teach them the only thing she knows which is how to be a leach on society
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  Neither was mine a teenager, I sincerely doubt a teenager could exploit the the situation in either my own or Dadilac’s situation, I’m not saying that what happened to me was anything as severe as yours Dadilac, but we come out of it wiser, and stronger.
• whodey

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  6 years ago

  I'm not sure what happens when a dancer falls in love with a customer since I've never been lucky enough to experience that. However, when a customer falls in love with a dancer his bank account and/or 401k tends to get significantly small and his heart tends to get broken in the end. He sees it as love and she most likely sees it as a business relationship.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  In my case wiser, stronger.... bitter, jaded and generally pissed off. I will not go out of my way to harm her, however if the opportunity arises it will be ugly
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  and by saying that I do not mean physical violence, I would never do that to a woman..... I could see myself waiting till her kids are 18 then sending them copies of their mothers ad's for 150 a half hour or 200 an hour at her upscale incall location..... the one only available while her kids were at school, so she could feed them breakfast, put them on the bus, then take dick all day, then call me and tell me she loves me and that she has been helping her grandmother move to assisted living, then get the kids off the bus and welcome her husband home from work.... What a worthless cunt of a mexican street whore
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  yes. but she got to you.
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  enjoying the ride and trying to keep some kind of control can be quite a challenge.
• pistola

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  6 years ago

  Here is the thing on the subject, having had a few long term relationships with them. One, the guy better have an open mind and high self esteem, most dont and cant handle it. I didnt give AF - I liked being with someone that made my cock rock hard every time I interavyed with her. But the money shot is this: if the gal really, really loved the guy, SHE is the one who wouldnt want to be touched by another man, no matter what, its routed in our DNA. Im tired of strippers saying how its the guys mental hangups when in fact its that theyre addicted to the lifestyle and dont want to, for example, cut hair or work for the post office after finding soulmate.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @Dadillac Ahh it ain’t worth it, if you remember I had suggested you prepare a 1099 with her name on it for services rendered, but it wouldn’t have made you feel any better, I know with the passage of time, I’m gonna be just fine. Plus I remember my dad used to say something that’s appropriate he’s SA time wounds all heels.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  yes she did get to me, she caught me at a very vulnerable state and she exploited it. I was an idiot and got taken.... They say hunting is the only sport where one team does not know they are playing.... In my case she won the first round primarily because I did not know we were playing.....
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  @twentyfive..... If I send a 1099 it would go on their joint tax return, her ex is a nice guy and I would not want to saddle him with half the tax
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^I know that’s why I said with the passing of time it really ain’t worth it.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  Something I find very telling in all this.... if a guy mistreats a stripper the guys on here generally step up and tell him he is being a jackass..... if a stripper mistreats a guy, the dancers go to Chicks over Dicks mentality.... that is the issue. Civvie girls have no problem calling her out on her actions.... other dancers, waitresses, etc look the other way
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^ That’s the damn truth, make you realize there’s a bunch of bitches out there without a conscience.
• Countryman5434

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  6 years ago

  I am in love with mine and mr wonderful's avatar
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  We had a long discussion over outing another monger for over stepping yesterday, if you did not agree with outing him then you were labeled as part of the problem..... go back and look at any of the discussions about my whore.... read all the dancers calling her out.... crickets
• jackslash

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  6 years ago

  Love means nothing to a tennis player. Love means an extra $200 to a stripper.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  ^ it is better to have loved and lost than to have.... Bullshit
• Warrenboy75

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  6 years ago

  I had a feeling this morning when I signed off this was going to turn into a Sh*t Storm..... GACA and twentyfive have it right............I'm not going to get into specifics much more than what I have already here and in another board topic except to say I do feel pity ( if that makes me a chump so be it) but I'm also level headed enough to know better.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  Someone approached me out of nowhere and started deep French kissing me. And then we went to the back room together and later and started waking up together every morning. Lol, just kidding. It’s just a customer who had outmaneuvered me. It was a slow shift. We chit chatted, then got a cabana together. Later, he told me he would refuse to ever come to the club ever, but here’s a number to hang out at his hotel whenever I wanted to (He was in Austin for work reasons.) Couple of weeks later, didn’t feel like working. I remembered him, he seemed like a pretty cool person. We met up. The intention was to stay an hour and go, but then we started talking about random stuff. We both had a very similar sense of humor that’s a combination of cynical but also goofy. I got distracted because I genuinely liked talking to him. That one hour turned into several. He wanted to be my sugar daddy. Guessing from his job description, his income was decent but not sugar daddy level. Negotiated 1k/week. I knew it wasn’t sustainable but I needed to rationalize myself somehow. We got dinner that night and then I left. He asked me how much extra to stay overnight. I didn’t go for it. Met up next weekend. Then I did stay overnight that time. Couple days after that, he texted me that because of his job title change, there was a screw up on the HR end and it would take a couple weeks before his paycheck was sorted again. He could offer a nice dinner but no allowance. Like lol okay, I started writing him a text saying that I was busy, but then changed my mind and deleted it. I continued to hang out with him for free anyways, That week, I stayed over for two nights this time. During the last week he was there, I got blackout drunk and made an ass of myself. But I admitted that I really liked him a lot. We became contacts on a messaging app. I figured that we would stop talking though. But that didn’t happen. We started video chatting. A couple weeks of still talking together, we became a couple for real. And then the negotiating. I figured it would be an open relationship (he was in China so he’d have lots of options, lol) But he said no, and that it had to be monogamous. So I’ve been going along with it. He doesn’t like me dancing but it’s okay if I’m working on my degree and making real steps to get into another field. And no extras allowed of course. And here we are over a year later, and still happy together.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  Yeah, it’s true that it’s not realistic to find a guy genuinely cool with the dancing. It’s really annoying. My boyfriend has told me about going ~with coworkers~ to the club. Like lol, I don’t care as long as there’s no extras (especially cause I refuse it on my end, even when the offer amount is absurdly good.) Ah hell, I’ve logged into this site twice before specifically so that I could read off reviews of the clubs in wherever he is. To give him a better idea of the vibe of different clubs he could go to. It sucks that there is few dating options unless you’re fine with paying some worthless dude’s bills. I’m scared of dealing with eventually dealing with the day to day office politicking that getting a “real job” provides. Hopefully it’s not too horrible. I’ve worked retail/food service environments in the past and it was petty af. And it’s harder to ignore coworkers than other dancers. The future on that end scares me. But love is irrational.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  I've always posted that in a strip club or any P4P venue, always want to start by getting your girl off script. Being open and honest about ones self, telling her all the things she knows she should not ask in that environment, is one of the best ways of doing this. Talk about the times you can spend together outside, and try to make it happen right there in the front room with her, but delay the dance booth and VIP Room. My own experience is that most strip club dancers are available. My earliest experiences here, at Sunnyvale Brass Rail. A guy learns by jr high school that the women held up as sex symbols, like movie stars, fashion models, and playboy centerfolds, are outside of his social realm. But would that also apply to the Go Go Dancers at the Brass Rail? Only one way to find out. So this C., I liked her, watched and tipped her on stage some. So following the custom, I invited her to have a drink with me. So she sat down and politely listened. I suggested that maybe we could go out sometime. "*I* don't go out with customers." I didn't fully understand her meaning, and though being careful about such an environment made sense to me, I still felt that my honor was being called into question. So rather reflexively, I just told her some about myself and it was all matter of fact, not rehearsed, my inexperience and social awkwardness clearly showing. Then, not having a plan, I just wrote down my full name and home telephone number on a napkin and handed it to her. She held it down at arms length and said, "Well okay, but you don't understand, I get hit on by 50 guys a night." Her tone was apologetic, but I still did not understand her real meaning. Figured though I should call it quits while I was still ahead, and left. Worked late on a project, came home about 10pm. Forgot about the matter. Saw that on my old fashioned mechanical answering machine there was one message. Pushed the button, and there it was, her voice, "I want to see you." Now I should have thought this further through, suggested places we might go, tried to find out her schedule and when this might happen. I worked regular hours, she worked 'till 2am. Not an easy situation. But still this was a radical improvement over dealing with the girls in college, total day versus night improvement! Ever since I have generally found that the young women who work in strip clubs are quite date able and available, just so long as you never treat them like prostitutes. And ambiguity over this was the original rub with this girl. I did not understand her, most all the guys she talks with are treating her like a prostitute. She became apologetic once she realized that I was not doing that. And from my perspective, treating her like a prostitute was something which never even entered my head. And to this day, I do not ever treat women like prostitutes, not in any situation. I never approach them that way, I never suggest that they are motivated by money or that they sell sex or sexual services. I always treat them in a 100% civilian manner. They might approach me as a prostitute, that in no way does that mean that I am going to treat them as such. SJG Bob Seger - Mainstreet , the Sunnyvale Hip Hugger was so much like this. So too was Sporty's Bar ( formerly Candid Club, formerly Richard's Lounge, didn't even have a stage back then ) I always listened to this song before I had ever been into any such places. Do you think the piano is an important part of this recording? I do. [view link] Bad Company - Shooting Star [view link] Bad Company [view link] live [view link] this is what I was looking for, live at Wembley 2010, and notice the clip from Thomas Edison's film [view link] "deserters we are called" I believe that a lot of the Western Bad Men were Confederate Deserters, not able to go home because they did not serve honorably. And another song where the piano is essential. Ready For Love [view link]
• yahtzee74

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  6 years ago

  "My boyfriend has told me about going ~with coworkers~ to the club. Like lol, I don’t care as long as there’s no extras (especially cause I refuse it on my end, even when the offer amount is absurdly good.) " @nicespice, even if he LDKs from the lap Dance?
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  I’m glad you find good civilian girls who are not motivated by money. You may be an exception who will find many amazing strippers in your travels. But it’s men with your motives that bother strippers the most and they go on places like Stripperweb to vent the worst of their frustrations. It’s the dinner date asking ones (for free) and the non-paying gropers who piss me and many other dancers off. Plus, I do not like customers who tell me that they “respect me as a person.” I have a bad memory of a customer who immediately came at me with an “I understand unlike these other men that strippers are not whores.” It was awkward, and I didn’t know what to say so I cut the chit chat off right there and then and asked for a dance. He gets three, whines about this or that the whole time, and then rips me off by $10. And I got called to stage so I couldn’t retaliate. Fucker.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @yahtzee74 I don’t think I’d care either. Doubt he would LDK though. One night he went to a club with coworkers, but then bounced out before everyone else left. He gives me a video call and demands a sexy video chat *immediately*. Extras would have been cheap where he was (according to this site) so I suspect that he got a very good lap dance and left before anything could have escalated, lol.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  I never assume that they are not motivated by money, and I never expect them to do anything for free. I'm just saying that I never talk to them like I think they are motivated by money or talk to them like they sell sex or sex acts. I engage with them as civilians, always. But they still get money. Part of the game also is to get them to just accept the money as a gift, a show of care and respect. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  And of course I would Never try to get free groping. You said "Deep Bra Shove", I think it should be "Deep Bra Stuff", that followed by a TJ style feel up is an excellent way to engage with them. But our above ground clubs do not really allow that. And then in San Francisco, they usually are too much "wanna dance" clip joints, making it hard for the guy to lead it, forcing all physicality into the booths and back rooms. A real joke. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Respect is not telling her you respect her, mostly its just treating her like you would any other woman, and also giving her money. And I do not talk or act like I am better than other guys. I treat the girl as I would any other girl, and that is not by talking like I am better than other people. SJG
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  Hm, interesting. So out of all the women you approach, what do you think is your success rate? 1%?
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  So nicespice..... imagine that it was 4k a week not 1k, imagine that you quit stripping, the money was consistent for 18 months. You keep secret that you are married and that you are continuing your career as an escort..... your friend discovers your escorting business and confronts you about it..... what do you do?
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Most women in civilian venues and in strip clubs really seem to like me. That I approach them myself really seems to work. And mostly it comes about via talk. I would say the success rate is 70%, and usually with the other 30% there are extenuating circumstances which explain the negative result. The world outside of college is totally the opposite of what it is like in college. And then most women do respond positively to a guy who is just open and honest in approaching them. That I am clearly selecting them and making the first move has a tremendous effect. And even sometimes when they are put off and resond a bit cold, sometimes if there is a second meeting they will really go the extra distance to compensate for that. I am really surprised that this is not coming through to you in my posts already. Online text must be a really bad medium. It was in strip clubs that I learned how to talk to women. Some of our clubs really are talking clubs. I think also it helps as a guy gets to be a bit older than they are, they don't judge him by the standards of trendyness anymore. They see his as an individual, and having knowledge and life experience which they do not. In both civvie and strip club venues, they don't get approached by that many guys who are just open and honest, but also not afraid of sometimes taking it on the chin. I think also a guy has to learn how to give women money, to use it as a way of further raising his esteem in their eyes. Of course in strip clubs they expect it, but the guy has got to get beyond the idea that he is actually buying anything, or that they or their affections actually cost money. Rather, getting money is what allows them to be there, all dolled up. Otherwise they would have to have regular jobs, a total waste. So they need the money, so the idea is just to get them accustomed to the idea that I want to pass it out as a show of respect, not as purchasing any thing. As they get this idea, it does seem to become less important to them. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Relationships with women in the sex biz are going to be different, not for everybody, but still potentially very worthwhile if you like that aspect of them. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  As far as strip clubs, got to get the girl to see the money as just a social token, like buying her a drink, or holding open a door for her, but not actually as though anything is being purchased. Most of the time wives are getting money and GF's of rich guys, and in most countries other than the US, well off men keep mistresses. The money never means that their social status is any less than any other woman. SJG
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  Lol, I wasn’t a true escort though. At the time, I was just simply open to occasional extras for an easy boost of cash. If it was someone that was a club regular, I wouldn’t go for it. And that “allowance” with him only lasted two weeks before I just started seeing him for free. I was weak on the hustle. My boyfriend knows what I will and won’t do during a dance because we talked about it. I made a promise and I’m not breaking it. I don’t like to even push VIP sales. Even though not too long after dating, I switched over to the club that has the least amount of extras in the city. I prefer to dance stack out in the open with the clearest boundaries.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @nice spice you think that a guy who is able to take care of his shit is going to accept that you are a dancer. That’s just delusional, if you continue to be a dancer it’s fine with me but don’t expect that you’ll find a guy like me that will lay down to be walked all over. You say it’s hard to find guys that are datable no it’s just that guys that have their shit together aren’t interested in being cuckolded night after night. The guys that are ok with their gals dancing are a bunch of losers that’s the actual truth of the matter.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  You did not answer the question nicespice
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @25 I never said that. I said it’s annoying that that’s not the case. Especially when dudes go to clubs themselves. Yes, for most boyfriends of dancers, a lot of them start being okay with it and then later they either stop being okay with it or start asking to be provided for. Now, if you’re implying there’s something wrong with my boyfriend, then I’m going to shut you down right now. My boyfriend has an upper middle class income in a job that he likes and is good at. His financial life is stable. He owns a house and he is easily keeping up with payments. He has low personal debt, and socks away money into savings and retirement. He can hold a conversation easily and has several good friendships that have lasted a long time. He’s far from a loser. Plus I never said he was 100% okay with it. But he’s not going to demand I work 50 hours a week just because my financial aid office wants to be disorganized and stupid and jack me around. I’m sure the demands to quit will come out even more once I have my degree. He’s already told me about places he could probably help me get a job at once I’m done. But for now it is what it is.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  In my future travels the dancers that I am spending my nights with will end up getting inducted into my organization. They will be much happier that way, and that will last a lifetime. Conventional relation ships turn into death traps, in my experience. SJG Foghat, Slow Ride [view link]
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @Daddilac what didn’t I answer? I never was an escort in the first place so I couldn’t “continue” it. But okay, taking your odd scenario at face value, then I guess I would have to face being SOL over a poor choice to be deceptive and get caught.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  I like girls that are into high heels and makeup and have learned to turn sex into an art form. They are 100% the opposite of my ex. But I have to accept that these girls are radicals, and that they did not get that way without practice, and that never will they want it to sit on a shelf. And they are too valuable to treat that way. SJG
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @nicespice you should do what you want my initial statement was simple, I like strippers most are great fun, but I’ll never be ok with my girl being a stripper, sounds like a double standard IDGAF that’s just the way it is.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  The odd scenario is the truth.... in the end the stripper told me I was a sad fat gross pathetic loser with no friends..... the night before she told me she loved me and could not wait to see me. What a fucking cunt of a whore
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  The only difference was I discovered that she was an escort and that if she had as many sticking out of her as shes had stuck in her, she would look like a porcupine. I really dont care what a girl did prior to dating me, I am concerned with what she does while we are together. Lying is not an option
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  With the first girl I had sex with, her being open and honest about it, and delivering, I was put off by how open she was, and how she expected to be fucked regularly, and was prepared by being on The Pill. Accepting that women are as sexual as men, really usually more so, takes getting used to. But if you want to enjoy them you have to get used to it. You find a good one and see what a treasure she is, it changes you. For me, one was the black girl I was making out with at SF New Century. Another was one in this Latina underground circuit, just totally open and 100% engaging. DFKing and FS and everything else are just who and what she is. SJG
• larryfisherman

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  6 years ago

  Thanks for insight nicespice.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @Daddillac Ah, yeah that’s fucked up of her.
• nicespice

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  6 years ago

  @larry You’re welcome :)
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  NiceSpice - you simply can’t explain who you will fall for - or how you will find them. It’s great that you’ve been together for a year! With respect to SJG’s posts - the amount of crap he posts - to contribute almost nothing to the discussion - is annoying.
• TFP

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  6 years ago

  This was a very interesting conversation to read, minus SJG's repetitive comments. Honestly, the only reason I even read some of them was to see what Nicespice was responding to. When she asked him.about his success rate and guessed 1%, I actually thought that sounded accurate. Then once he came back and said 70% I knew he was full of shit, just like all his posts. I noticed at that point nicespice stopped responding to him. Then it was back to scrolling past SJG's interjections into the otherwise insightful banter between everyone. All that said, I agree with twentyfive. He's rather blunt about it, but I'll just say I don't have the......toughness it takes to date a dancer. I just couldn't handle it. Call it jealousy or whatever. I won't call them losers or whatever twentyfive called the SO's of dancers. I'll just say they are cut from a different cloth than myself and can handle things that I just couldn't.
• Daddillac

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  6 years ago

  I see an escort occasionally that lives with her boyfriend and escorts out of their home.... one time I got their and she was near naked with a fresh cup of Starbucks, I asked her about it and she said her boyfriend just dropped it off but left cause he knew I was coming over.... I just couldn't do that, I me as n I did not have any trouble fucking her, 2 nuts in an hour, but I couldn't be the boyfriend running out so my girlfriend could swallow some old man's load
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  ^ I think it's a lot easier to say that is how you would feel until you really experience it.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  Just one last point to be made and I know the counter arguments but I just don’t care, in this case it’s my way or the highway. If you want support be it financially or emotionally, from me, you’re going to have to accept my terms. If I pay you for a lap dance or tip you you when you hang out with me, that’s my business. But if you are a girl whom I am dating I won’t pay you to date me, ever, what I will do is help you in anyway I am able to, whether that means, supplemented rent, tuition, or a car payment, because you’ve fallen behind, I prolly will, but don’t think you have the right, to even ask me for that if you aren’t doing everything you can to make me happy. And a response to the losers that think it’s okay to be a SO of a woman who is earning her living this way. I got involved with you because I cared, the guys that don’t care fall into two categories, either a leech, or a pimp. You want to dispute that, fuck off. If you were man enough to handle your shit you wouldn’t accept it either.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Twentyfive - your point is well taken. If you give her money - it’s on your terms. It makes sense to me. It’s your money - so you make the rules.