Do I Out Another Monger?

I think it's always better to mind your own business. I think of it like if I do something I don't want anyone to rat me out.

If you stumbled across the video on your own you could just tell her that you saw her on it but not mention anything else about the other monger. Let her find it for herself and deal with it herself and tell her you thought you saw a video of her. This way you are just giving her an FYI on something you stumbled across and have nothing more to do with it.

^ it depends on your relationship with her, though. If you really feel you are both true friends then I would share it. But if you have just a business relationship then it may be best to keep it to yourself.

I would tell her - the guy is a dick and doesn't deserve any sort of pass

I would tell her. The dudes an asshole.

if you really wanted to do the right thing go to the police, if not mind your business

I agree that it is best to MYOB. You may want to save the link if it provides good jackoff material.

I have done some shady shit in the past......and karma is a bitch. That's why I keep my mouth shut.

I’d give her a heads up the guy is a prick and doesn’t deserve any consideration.

I agree with telling her. Maybe in the general “oh I found this video that looks like you” kind of way like SirLap said.

But it’s to each their own and it’s no big deal if you choose not to either. I know that I’ve stood by passively when I’ve seen malicious stripper behavior before.

If it's some mostly random stripper, I mind my business. But often, I only OTC with my CFs/ATFs, and to whatever extent I have any misplaced loyalty, it's definitely towards my CF. And being in a video on the internet without her knowledge is pretty huge.

Keep quiet with a random stripper, or if guy's just being a minor dick. In this case, guy is being major major dick, so if it were with CF, I'd likely let her know

Going by my own experience I've videoed 3 women that I've had intimate relations with. One specifically said that she didn't want me sharing it with anyone else and I gave her my word that I wouldn't. Even though I haven't seen her in a long time 4 years later I have never shown the videos to anyone else and don't intend to.

The other two didn't seem to care, never said anything and I have shown the vids to a couple close friends but I would never post them online.

The subject of the OP is an obvious asshole and I would not have a problem outing him. Guys like him ruin things for everyone else.

There is literally no reason to ever help a fuck boy and that's what this character is. Tell her

First off, she's not your friend. She is never going to invite you to a family BBQ, you will not be named the godfather of any of her kids, you won"t be babysitting those kids, etc., etc. You are a source of income and she is a source of entertainment, pure and simple.

So with the proper frame of reference now in place, what's your upside in getting involved? Are you hoping to be her most beloved bestest ever John? More likely that she will always associate you, as the messenger, with the video and this will interfere with your entertainment.

So no, if I were you, I would fight off those "eager to please" instincts and stay out of it.

^ Out of curiosity do you ever do the right thing just because it’s right ? SMH

I guess for RickDugan if there's nothing in it for him then what's the purpose

I actually agree with rickyboi.

If she didn't want him to show it to anyone why let him record it?

Depends on the situation. If we were friends in some kind of ongoing P4P I probably would mention it. Apparently the laws vary from state to state, but it might be illegal or grounds for damages in a lawsuit. Also may not be hard to do some IP tracking to get the material off the web.

I think this is a close call. If she was my DS I would tell her. Otherwise I probably would not.

To the dudes saying "stay out, dont tell" I don't understand. Telling her doesn't involve anything. It's a sentence out of your mouth, nothing more, what she does with the info (perhaps nothing) is up to her.

You're not becoming her best friend, lol.

Seriously, what is the downside here? I don't get it, I'm confused.

My thought is that saying anything is likely to create a lot of headaches that you likely don't need in your life, so I would weigh that against any benefit you might get from telling her.

Based on your description, I would tell her. Posting a video like that is horrible. And, one video now could become a dozen in due time.

I’m all for not telling her because you think it might cause her grief, and if you honestly feel that way by all means don’t, I just don’t think RickiBoi’s framework about being her friend or not would factor into anybody’s thinking. My thinking is I’d rather do the right thing, for the right reason, there doesn’t have to be anything in it for me.

I’d consider telling the girl - that you think you saw a video of her posted online.

I agree with part of what Rick Dugan said - as this girl is not your friend. However, it’s a decent thing to do.

Decency is not always rewarded in this lifestyle. Sometimes decency can put you in the middle of a shit storm. So, since you appear to know this girl, think about how telling her could bite you in the ass.

If the girl has kids, and a douchebag monger is posting video of her on the internet, it would be rough if that shit got back to them. It’s a small world.

I would tell her; make sure she knew who posted it and make sure the fucking asshole knew it was me that outed him. I wouldn't tell her for any other reason is that the guy is a liar and doesn't respect privacy.

Given what you’ve posted about your affection for her, I’d tell her.

I was in almost this position with my ATF one time. It was a picture, not a video, but I told her. She said thanks and she and her then bf...dealt with the offending party.

If you’re worried about fallout from the other guy, send her an anonymous email or text.

Based on this account it seems the guy was a dick, but do we really know the whole story and is it really shocking that this happened?

The first thing that comes to mind when a celebrity has her account "hacked" and nude pictures posted is that if she doesn't want them shared don't take them. This doesn't seem much different.

Plus, we don't know what motivated the guy to post it. Maybe she later gave permission.

Also, there is a small chance that it may humiliate her to know that someone she knows has seen her fucking on tape. It may impact your experiences with her in the future.

Finally, what good does it do for her? She can't remove it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. It seems to me that telling her would just satisfy a personal need to be a white knight, and that is selfish.

Whatever you do, I recommend you be introspective (how's that @Supra) and really consider what would be motivating you to tell her. To me, the possible cons outweigh the pros.

^ you dick using the word introspective doesn’t make you sensitive;)

Plenty of guys seem to wanna take pics or vids of girls, sometimes begging to convince her, some girls relent to please the guy but I'm sure they're not ok with him posting it online and it's def fucking her over just bc he can - it's a major-douche move - this is analogous to seeing a guy's ph being swiped in the club and not telling him bc he's not someone you know

I'd tell her. If a monger has reached a point where he thinks filming and then posting a video is ok there's a good chance he will do it again. You are doing her a service and probably him a service in the long run. Imagine if he films and posts 8 girls beforee he's caught and the authorities get involved. People go to prison for less.

Well said rick dugan!

I gotta ask you @tahoecruz How was my performance?

"Well said rick dugan!"

LOL! Dugan's post above could be replaced by any one of his other goofy 17,000 posts equating any measure of human empathy with weakness and lack of masculinity. It's something he really should be discussing with his therapist.

cashman1234 said "If the girl has kids, and a douchebag monger is posting video of her on the internet, it would be rough if that shit got back to them. It’s a small world."

good point. other wise I'd say flip a coin.

What does telling her accomplish?

There are criminal and civil laws wrt revenge porn in many jurisdictions. If you tell her and she gets pissed enough to be litigious, are you willing to testify in court? Highly unlikely granted, but still a possible outcome. The guys clearly a dick, but since she can't really delete anything once posted to the public, I would probably not get involved.

I would either tell her or tell her anonymously.

"I was gona say maybe u could recommend your therapist but its apparent that he hasnt done u any good DUMBASS!"

@Tx - I charge $400/hr for online psychotherapy (by Paypal only).

Why are so obsessed with @Nina there @Tx? Maybe you should get a life?

"... What does telling her accomplish ..."

She'll know she cant trust that mofo - especially w/ more vids or pics.

That depends. Is the other dude big enough to kick your ass ?

Tell her assholes deserve the shit they get!

The law of unintended consequences holds. If you tell her, it’s 90% certain the situation will worsen in a totally unforeseen way.

Best case, you don’t say anything, she never learns, and life goes on. Then, some day, the asshole will mess with the wrong person and Karma will fall on his head.

Papi posted: "I guess for RickDugan if there's nothing in it for him then what's the purpose"

It depends entirely on the situation. If it could save her life and help her avoid serious physical harm, I'd certainly tell her anyway. Or if she was an honest to goodness friend (meaning not a paid stripper companion), I'd probably tell her then too. But this is neither situation.

So you're damned right that I'm not going to ruin a good p4p outing - not with something as borderline as this with a p4p girl who was foolish enough to let herself be recorded in the first place. I see strippers OTC to be entertained, not to get sucked into silly drama, which is all that would come from spilling his guts. It's human nature for people who receive bad news to associate it with the messenger. No thanks. I'd let some other eager to please type run his mouth instead, which will inevitably happen soon enough anyway.

Two things...

Tell her it is the right thing to do. It sounds like "revenge" type porn. Which is a big issue and becoming a huge legal issue.

#2... Post a link of it for the rest of us... LOL

I cant believe it took that long for anyone to say that. HAHA

Tough decision and I appreciate all the serious advice. Seems to be a split decision.

It would not be so bad if he had not included her name, where she works, degrading comments, and the price he paid. He has a few other videos of him with other women that he has posted. Some look to be done without their knowledge.

I am not in White Knight syndrome. I have been invited to her home (which I did not accept and that she lost recently), and she has introduced me to some of her family. I know she is pretty open about what she does and that she has been generous to some family members. I have come to know her over the years not as a friend, but at least someone with a good heart who deserves respect and compassion. At the end of the day it is just business, but I would also have to consider it if it were a video of the woman who cleans my house.

Just now I am leaning toward not telling her, as she knows the risks when she agrees to let someone video her, despite the verbal promises made. And I don't have an easy way of telling her anonymously.

Finally, I doubt the poster is on this forum, which is one of the reasons that I felt comfortable seeking your collective advice.

Again, thanks for giving me perspectives that I had not thought about.

@ crsm27 noone asked for the link due to legalities. Strip club forums are increasingly being on shut down these days due to new laws. The days of hiding behind an avatar are probably numbered. You dont want to me that guy....

@tahoe . White Knight Syndrome is the guy who doesnt LDK and treats dancers like saints. This is clear cut doing the right thing. The internet is an area where rules are made and broken each day. If it was me id politely take her aside and let he know and not use an internet forum for advice.

"It would not be so bad if he had not included her name, where she works, degrading comments, and the price he paid. "

Well, yeah. This is new info and is more evidence that it was in fact a douche move, whether for revenge or narcissism.

That would have to be factored in.

It would depend on the relationship I had with the girl and whether I truly thought she would benefit from knowing. MYOB would be my default position unless there was something to move me otherwise.

This latest info opens the asshole up to serious criminal charges. Game changer.

^ " "... What does telling her accomplish ..."

She'll know she cant trust that mofo - especially w/ more vids or pics."

And why is that any of the OP's business?

One either thinks what the dude did is ok, or thinks it was wrong.

Standing by while a wrong is being done to someone else and at least not letting that person know, sounds as self-serving/Dugan-ish as the dude doing the wrong.

Different situation but similar ethical quandry.

If a guy cheats on his wife and feels guilty about it, should he confess to her and ask forgiveness? I say no, because it wouldn't be to benefit her, it would be to ease his guilt. That is selfish.

I disagree. If your neighbor is screwing around behind his wife's back, do you tell her?

No, it's none of your business.

If a guy is selling drugs in the club do you call the cops or even report it to a bouncer?

I guess we should all put on a cape and walk around the city calling out people who are mistreating others.

Here's an interesting scenario. You find out the management at a strip club you used to go to is posting videos of the VIP on pornhub. Do you alert the authorities or keep checking in hopes your billy joel concert isnt released?

^^ Or do you confront the owner yourself?

Or a more realistic scenario, you’re out and about on your daily life and you see a young guy punching an older woman, do you find a way to intervene even if you physically are unable, you can use a cell to call the cops or do you walk away and just ignore the situation. If you can’t at least, make that phone call, you are a pretty shitty excuse for a person.

^ I would agree with that, but that is a far cry from the scenario offered by the OP.

I'm just saying this is a gray area and there really isn't a right/wrong reaction.

To be honest, I don't know what I would do here. But I believe my default would not be to get involved in this one.

I would let her know since it could lead to serious complications in her life if her manager or worse finds it before she knows about it.

A number of years ago, I let a co-worker know when her profile popped up as the featured dating profile on the local newspaper's site with prominent placement on the entry page. The profile said she enjoyed drugs, so I figured it would be better for her to get the heads-up from me instead of having her manager find it first. She kept her job, so I assume she was able to make it more work-friendly before anyone else noticed it.

^My feeling is this guy is a creeper and if he isn’t checked he’s going to escalate. This as far as I see it is bullying behavior.

As I discussed here not long ago, I stepped in to stop a real problem not long ago. The little cunt was snapping her bra, which was both hurting her and interfering with my entertainment. Now you might question which outcome was really bothering more, but it was a lot more than tattling, stopped real pain and intimidation and, of course, made for a grateful gal. ;)

But I wasn't put on this earth to protect every moron from the results of his or her own stupidity. Just like I would steer clear of this drama, so too did I once steer clear last time I saw a fucked up hammered dude getting his CC bell rung by a stripper and her waitress accomplice. Stupid is as stupid does and she only has herself to blame for being on his recording.

What are you trying to do?? Inform the girl, or out the Asshole??

If it's the former, I'd stay out of it. Lest you freak her out. either by coming off as a pervert (how and what are you doing watching/finding her videos) or scare her away (hard evidence of recording potentially everyone has access to an hence creating paranoia of what else might be out there too.) And this one doesn't sound bright enough to know the scope nor difference. IE it'll create more trouble than fix.

The way your framed it makes it more the latter (out the asshole) and what I'd do. Tell her there's a local creep videoing and posting videos and for to watch out for him. Send her a link to the forums and let her follow the bread crumbs... It allows you to tell her about it without directly getting involved, and up to her to decide what she wants to do.

This one is pretty simple to me.

He outed himself when he posted something on the internet that clearly identifies himself to her.

She obviously did not want the video posted, and even though she was naive to think this wouldn’t happen, that doesn’t mean all’s fair. If the guy was an actual friend, I’d tell him it was a dick move and try to get him to take it down, even if I didn’t know her.

If I don’t know him, fuck that Puto! I doubt he’d loose a moments sleep thinking about how he could harm her or anyone else, and I’m sure he probably doesn’t adhere to any honor amongst mongers.

Easy call. I'd do whatever I could to screw over that douche bag. If the site where the video is posted allows comments I'd call him out by name (if you know it), or I'd make an anonymous post threatening legal action for posting such a video without permission. Maybe he'd wet his pants and take it down. If not, I'd tell the woman. Otherwise, cock breath is liable to do it again.

"It would not be so bad if he had not included her name, where she works, degrading comments, and the price he paid. He has a few other videos of him with other women that he has posted. Some look to be done without their knowledge."

Knowing this, I'd absolutely tell her.

I would beat his ass..... just because he needs an ass whipping and I have the urge to deliver one.... as far as the girl, I've learned that strippers have loyalty to Ben Franklin only... no reason for me to extend any either

I agree with Ricky boy

If she invites you to a BBQ tell her

If no BBQ then keep it to yourself

I mind my own business