Should you let a stripper know you'd like to fuck her?

avatar for chandler
chandler
Blue Ridge Foothills
When is it a bad idea to let a stripper know you'd like to fuck her? Can you have a good time with her if you feel you have to hide your desire?

46 comments

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avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
I dunno Chandler, call me old fashioned but I've never told a dancer I wanted to fuck her until she told me that it was a possibility.
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
Yoda: Any of those, as well as, "Let's talk about us fucking in order to heat up our dances" or "Let's talk about us fucking because it beats talking about the weather."
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
Are we talking "I'd like to take you out, buy you dinner and then fuck you", "Here's an extra $100, can I fuck you in the VIP room" or "Hey lets get a hotel room when you get off so I can fuck you"????
avatar for DailyGrind
DailyGrind
18 years ago
lol. not only do i insure hottiez that they know, but also that i would without knowing anything at all about them or even hearing them talk.

ever seen the movie 'looker'?
finney, dey, coburn.


dg
avatar for RomanticLover
RomanticLover
18 years ago
Why not ASK HER OUT on a DATE?
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
Patience is always a virtue with ALL women, not just strippers. Sometimes I think they only want to fuck those men who act like we don't want to fuck them. Convinces 'em we aren't desperate, or something. Kind of like a haute cuisine chef insisting on only feeding those people who don't order anything because they aren't hungry ...
avatar for happylap
happylap
18 years ago
sorry, chandler. I wrote that last post before I read yours.

I'll change my short answer to: If you like the stripper, treat her like a person.

Strippers are in the business to listen to all sorts of weird shit. They put up with it because they get paid (and some get paid well) So if you just feel like playing around, you can say pretty much anything you want, as long as it's not insulting. Most of the banter is negotiating a business proposition so whatever works....

Now if you really want to get in her pants, you've got to play it more carefully. So I'd say it's only a bad idea to tell a stripper you want to fuck her if you REALLY want to fuck her. How's that for irony?
avatar for happylap
happylap
18 years ago
chandler, I don't think you have to hide your desire by not telling her you want to fuck her. Tell her how much you like her. She'll get the message without you coming out and saying you want to get inside the g-string.
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
(I hadn't seen Happylap's post when I posted.)
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
The question occurred to me after I met a stripper the other night who acted friendly but kind of reserved. It wouldn't have felt right for me to steer the subject with her to more carnal matters, as is my habit. We still flirted around the issue close enough to make it interesting, and later had some pretty steamy dances.

So, I opened this topic with different girls and situations in mind, although I tried to leave it fairly open to interpretation. Anything from suggestive banter to fantasy to blunt proposition. However, I didn't mean "let her know" as in "disclose a surprising secret", and I didn't expect that so many would regard it as an abstract piece of info that's unnecessary to mention because it can be deduced.
avatar for happylap
happylap
18 years ago
I may not be qualified to enter this discussion, since I've never fucked a stripper. But from my experience with other women, I'd agree with ClifBar. Best not to let her know, at least directly. There are a lot of nuances to this question. Of course, you want to let her know you like her and find her appealing, even hot. But I think most women are turned off when you tell them you want to fuck them. That's when they feel like a sexual object rather than an attractive person. Also, if a stripper knows that you are really hot for her, then she may be more defensive, fearing that you might try something off limits. Or she may just try to rip you off. (and that goes for women who don't strip in clubs too!)

But at some point there has to be some communication to find out if the feeling is mutual. And it's sometimes hard to know when that point is reached. The more you want to fuck a woman the harder it is to make a decision because your mind is clouded by your desire. Should I go for it or will I blow it? If you're sort of ambivalent about the lady, then it's easier to read her signals. Once you've decided your chances are good you still have to avoid saying anything crude. (need I say avoid the f-word?) If she was inclined to fuck you, you just might change her mind with the wrong approach.

Man, happylap, this is so much bullshit. I think the short answer is: Just treat her like a person. Strippers have the same emotions and sensitivities as all women. If you sense she wants to fuck you, then it's okay to tell her you'd like to fuck her too. But I also agree with cliff that if you know she wants to fuck you and you act indifferent, she'll probably want you more. Women like a challenge. So why blow it until you're really sure?
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
butt out clif, please direct your comments to someone who cares.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
By the way if a dancer mentions she has a boyfriend to a customer, that is a sign that she is telling you she isn't looking for any outside the club relationships. If she doesn't mention it or is vague about it, well then maybe she doesn't care. I still think it's a pretty good indication unless she fucks everyone and then I would stay away anyway for safety reasons.
avatar for AbbieNormal
AbbieNormal
18 years ago
I'm with the others that I always assume they assume I want to fuck them, in a general non-specific sense I always do anyway. I think though if Chandler is talking about the more specific, not just fantasy, I really want to take steps to make it happen way, that is a somewhat different question. I've only really gone that direction, hinting I'd like to come to some arrangement OTC once, and it was made clear it wasn't happening. More often the hints have been left to let me know I could make it happen if I was interested.

If we're talking about a non-buisness fucking OTC I have little experience with that, and it was the dancer who made it happen, I was just along for the ride.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
Of course since the news media linked to this site and they believe everything we say I should add the disclaimer here.

If a girl says something as simple as "you have a nice smile", we guys will interpret that as a hint that she wants to fuck.

If she asks "are you married", we guys interpret that as "she wants to fuck."

If she asks "where are you from?", we guys interpret that as "she wants to fuck."

After a while, we're just waiting for the girl to say when and where. I mean it wouldn't be a strip club fantasy or discussion board if we didn't believe almost every girl in the club didn't want to fuck. Forget about boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, etc., this is the guys fantasy world.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
I've had dancers give me hints that suggest they would like to fuck me, some more blunt than others. I don't see a problem with giving hints but if she already has a boyfriend or is a prude, give it up. It's best to find out more about her life to see what your chances are if you're really that interested unless she makes the first move.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
I remember a dancer I had already fucked and she was telling me she was horny and asking if I'd like to get together with her after she got off from work (very late at night). When I said no thanks she did seem to want to fuck me even more. That is after she stopped asking questions like "are you getting tired of me?" It may have been true that night since I just wanted to have a few drinks and party all night long that night. After that, she seemed almost like a nymphomaniac to me. I didn't mind that much though.
avatar for chitownlawyer
chitownlawyer
18 years ago
I agree with the others who said that that is pretty much assumed, esp. if you are paying any time at all with her.

As with all women..if you have to tell her that you want to fuck her, as opposed to her picking it up from your speech and conduct, it really doesn't matter.
avatar for Darkwolf
Darkwolf
18 years ago
Just like Snoop Dogg's song..... "I wanna fuck you" Perfect stripper song.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
18 years ago
I also just assumed that they all thought we did, even while we're lying to them and telling them otherwise.
avatar for DailyGrind
DailyGrind
18 years ago
I'm indifferent to NM until they make first contact; a smile maybe if they're in my direct view.

If hottiez approach me properly they'll know how bad i want to fuck them almost immediately.


dg
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
I think they all assume that all customers have that desire, that's why you're there. If you try to convince them otherwise they think you're being dishonest.
avatar for Lil_Baller100
Lil_Baller100
3 years ago
Bad idea when talkin to da hoez
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ Are you that fucking bored that you're bumping a 15 year old thread? How about creating a fresh one instead?
avatar for JimGassagain
JimGassagain
3 years ago
Bacon!!
avatar for Icee Loco (asshole)
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
If you have an interest in any woman. Let her know as soon as you can and be direct. You'll know where you stand. Drawing things out is never a good idea.
avatar for psycho_trick
psycho_trick
3 years ago
With new meat I usually work 'Do you do dances outside the club?' casually into one-on-one conversation. Most know the code.

Saw my own 16 year old posts in this thread too. Rereading my old content takes me back.

DG
avatar for rickmacrodong
rickmacrodong
3 years ago
Do strippers with boyfriends and husbands still sleep with their clients?
Do their bfs/husbands know about their job and otc?

DailyGrind i was actually thinking of literally just getting dances outside the club too. Cuz if you trust each other enough, its better to do even the dances otc cus everything you pay goes to her, no house fee etc
avatar for psycho_trick
psycho_trick
3 years ago
The answer to both questions is "some do".

I've also literally got OTC dances as a warm-up to OTC sex. No club admission, no blaring shit-hop, etc.

DG
avatar for how
how
3 years ago
Sometimes, it's unnecessary. For example, once a lovely dancer walked up to me and her introductory comment was: "Wanna fuck?"
Another time, a dancer was lapping for me, and she looked at me and said: "I want you inside me."

A subtle way for a guy to communicate his interest in boning a stripper might be to respond to her request for dances (or more dances) with the caveat... "That's probably going to make me want you more..." Even when that leads nowhere, it doesn't cause such offense as the blunt approach might.
avatar for loper
loper
3 years ago
I once told a stripper truthfully that I couldn't decide what I wanted more: to kiss her or to fuck her. From then on I got dfk with every lap dance. I was quite happy for quite a while.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
In a suitable way and at a suitable time, sure.

SJG
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
Yeah, I know it's an ancient thread...

If I'm taking a dancer to VIP or a lapdance booth, I'm pretty sure that she already knows I'm not hoping for tips on restoring antique furniture.

So, sure, it's okay to tell them what you want. How you tell them, though, makes a big difference towards getting what you want.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Especially if you are in the club with her and FS is not standard or not something done ITC, then letting her know at the right time and in the right way is important.

SJG
avatar for datinman
datinman
3 years ago
I never thought of it before, but "No thanks, wanna fuck?" might just be the perfect response to the ubiquitous "wanna dance?" approach.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
:) :) :)

"Let me take care of you right here (money) and we can save the back rooms until we are ready (FRMOS starting soon)"

SJG
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
3 years ago
Not to restate the obvious - I think most strippers already that.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
First make sure she knows the Pope is Catholic and a bear shits in the woods.
avatar for rickmacrodong
rickmacrodong
3 years ago
One of the dancers smashes her ass up and down while telling me I could fuck you like this
She doesnt bend the rules like other dancers, so i never got any dances from
Her again
avatar for rickmacrodong
rickmacrodong
3 years ago
I would rather use a dildo or plug in her than have actual sex. Some of those plugs are huge, the size of a 12 or 14 foot tall mans thing
You can also name the toys, and be like you like that! Johnny stuffing your ass!
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
3 years ago
You can't get what you don't ask for (or take) if it isn't offered. In this case it's much better to ask and receive.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
I'm guessing every stripper who's been doing it for more than one night knows that anyone who's actually interested in her is <em>also</em> interested in having sex with her.

That said, I eventually, and usually within one or two visits, tell any dancer with whom I want to have sex that I want to have sex with her. Whether or not she obliges me is another question, of course.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
3 years ago
Women are weird. Strippers think I want to fuck em; the ladies at Dunkins always think I want coffee and every damn waitress thinks I want food .......
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
She probably say she'll get back to you when she's in the mood for some Captain Obvious dick.
avatar for max_starr
max_starr
3 years ago
I like to wait until I actually think she's ready. heh. My fav is the ones that said BJ only and them jumped right on.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Usually talking explicitly with a woman is for a guy who doesn't intend to do more than talk.

SJG
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