This is the end (not by The Doors)

avatar for gawker
gawker
Older than dirt
As my stories of my ATF have been getting more & more bizarre, I’ve been getting pissed at her more & more frequently. She was in drug detox a week & a half ago but left before completing the prescribed 7 day program. She called me to come & get her and I refused to bring her back to my house but instead took her to her mother’s. From there she went to East Bumfuck, NH to stay with her ex-BF’s mother & grandmother. She had trashed my house and it took me almost 3 days to clean and to pack her clothes & other belongings. They’re stored in my cellar.
Since then she called and accused me of stealing the SIM card from her phone (I have no idea how to remove a SIM card) I’ve told her that what was a good arrangement for both has deteriorated into a toxic relationship hurting us both, that I’m tired of her shit, and that i’ll Store her stuff till she gets a place or Nov. 1, 2018 - whichever comes first. After that everything goes in the donation box ( its 3 car loads in my small SUV).
Another of her customers who’s been seeing her for at least as long as I, has contacted me to see what’s going on. He has deep pockets but has generally been behind me in line for years and he has a $3000 a month SB. I’ve told him to help himself, I want nothing to do with her. I blocked her phone and un-friended her on FB. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I think I might go out clubbing soon. There’s a cute little blonde spinner I’ve fucked ITC and she’s told me OTC is available. I’m 99% sure she’s drug free and it might make for an interesting evening.
I’ve sworn off the ATF before but always caved in when she “needed” me ( my $$). No more. I swear. She went over the edge this time and I’ll slit my throat before I give in to her pleas again.
The other “John” says the behavior I describe makes him question whether she’s totally in touch with reality. He is a medical professional and while psychiatry is not his specialty he’s better educated than I to assess her status. I did hear her on the phone describing how she’s preparing for the end of the world and that her 13 year old son is going to another planet to save mankind. Even the best blowjobs in the world don’t justify more of her crap.

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avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
I am happy to hear you have extracted yourself from that situation. I hope things go well with your new dancer. That's the best way to go, get back on the horse.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
Reminds me of the story about the guy that went into a store and bought a "smart" pill. After a week he did not feel any smarter. So he went back to the store to complain. The store owner told him that with some people they need 2 pills. so he bout 2 more.

A week later he was back again complaining that the pills were still not working. The store keep told him that in rare cases 3 pills are necessary. So the guy bought 3 more and took them right on the spot. Then he said to the store keeper, "Say these pills are starting to taste like rabbit shit". To which the store keeper replied "Now you're starting to get smart". :)
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
I had always wondered who was calling in to Art Bell Coast-to-Coast. Who knew that for a short time, it was from someone talking "privately" in gawker's bathroom.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
7 years ago
You're doing the right thing. I wish you the best of luck.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
I’m glad to hear that you are attempting to rid yourself of this dangerous relationship. I hope you are able to move forward - and enjoy some good otc with a sexy new dancer.

I also hope that your atf can get sober - and she can get her mind under control. It’s sad to hear of the effects of her drug use. You’ve done a lot for her - and her mind is probably too messed up for her to realize it.
avatar for joc13
joc13
7 years ago
I know how you feel. While my situation was nowhere near as involved as yours, it had similar characteristics. And once I stopped it (after your last post gave me the courage to do it), I've been enjoying my social life.

After this past year of going to SCs and making a specific effort to try and OTC with strippers, I'm starting to understand why so many of them have EX-husbands, and EX-boyfriends, and baby-daddies they've never been married to. Some of these women just don't know how to prioritize the affection they get from men over their own impulsive, self-indulgent, often self-destructive behavior.

And before anyone starts with the "don't fall in love with strippers" thing, I lump "giving a stripper money for sex" into the "showing affection" category. And, if anything, you'd think these women would learn to prioritize the men they're getting money from ahead of anything else.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
Another day where I wonder what the attraction to OTC is all about. So far it has no redeeming qualities other than paid sex and seems like a lousy version of sex.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
7 years ago
Wow! As the world turns, so are the days of stripper lives.
avatar for hassenpfeffer65
hassenpfeffer65
7 years ago
Best of luck extracting yourself from your ATFs whirlwind of chaos.

Your mention of her 13 year old son broke my heart. Being that age is shitty enough, but having a wigged out mom who selfishly won’t confront her substance abuse problems turns his life into a giant shit sandwich.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
@joc13
> I'm starting to understand why so many of them have EX-husbands, and EX-boyfriends, and baby-daddies they've never been married to. Some of these women just don't know how to prioritize the affection they get from men over their own impulsive, self-indulgent, often self-destructive behavior.<

That is a statement full of insight into what is really on the minds of these women who work in stripclubs.
avatar for grand1511
grand1511
7 years ago
Based on my own personal experiences with those dealing with addictions, your doing both the best thing for yourself and your ATF Gawker. Good luck moving forward.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
7 years ago
Gawker, I hope that this time you are truly swearing her off and out of your life. It's been a long time coming! You have done more for her than 99.99 percent of men (including me) would have. Good luck, and don't let this addiction suck you in again.
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
7 years ago
When you are out of the situation for a while, you will wonder how you put up with it for so long.

I had something similar but not nearly as bad.

Once I was out of the situation, my mind cleared on it and I was able to see it for what it was.
But, it took a long time. Hopefully you are able to see clearly faster than I did.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
7 years ago
Good luck, gawker.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Thanks for the words of encouragement and sanity.
For those concerned about the 13 year old son, he has been raised and is still with his maternal grandmother. He's a handsome, bright young man who is in gifted & talented classes in school. When I've talked or made inferences regarding his parents' addiction, he just rolls his eyes in disgust. Right now his Dad has been sober for 18 months, has steady work and sees his son every couple of weeks. He's still working on repaying the boy's grandmother the $3000 he stole from her house.
I had some insight to how one person dealt with a similar circumstance when I had 10 or 11 OTC liaisons with another dancer who grew up with both parents addicted to opioids . She was the most vehemently opposed person to any drug use I've ever seen. Seeing & understanding the consequences of this behavior is a strong motivator for her. Sadly for me, she's no longer dancing, has a 6 month old baby, & has started her own on-line company and appears to be making a go of it.
Shadowcat - I looked on my stupid phone but can't find smart pills ----
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
hang in there gawker!
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Sorry Gawker to hear how difficult things are for you and for she.

Remember, giving her money is okay. But she has to be 100% off limits for SEX!

SJG
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@gawker - good luck on your new path gawker

@joc13 - i suspect with many extras/OTC dancers, they hate themselves for being hooked on drugs, and then hate the men who make their addictions possible. i'm not saying they all fit this category, but I suspect more than a few do not prioritize their sugar daddies b/c they feel anger and resentment towards them. just a thought.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
Drugs really screw up a brain permanently if used long enough. The body quits producing its own serotonin so the user goes into a deep depression when they quit using. Not much can be done about it. That's why so many young famous rock stars off themselves because of depression.

I hope your ATF gets it together but maybe...maybe she just likes being a junkie.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Lone Wolf - she's now 32 and there's no question she likes being a junkie but she also says she likes living and realizes that an unexpectedly hot load of fentenyl can end that quickly.
I've truly had it with her this time. For years I felt that she respected me and trusted me but lately she's been disrespectful, accusatory, and truly acting crazy. She has another "customer who's a doctor and he and I have both been seeing her for 8 or 9 years and we've started texting about her. I've raised the possibility of her having had a psychotic break. But I've also said to him that I'm no longer in the picture and I've given her a year to get all of her belongings out of my cellar. I now feel similar to what her mother described to me 5 years ago when she said,"I expect a phone call every day telling me she died of an overdose."
avatar for Htxx
Htxx
7 years ago
It will be hard to move on you've had so much history together. But move on you will! A few years from now you'll look back and scratch your head as to why it took you so long. Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels as they say. Good luck!
avatar for Rick999
Rick999
7 years ago
At least you didn't get permanently damaged by her. So much for her cleaning her act up. Good luck with your future. You won't be supporting her drug use anymore.
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Sad but predictable end Gawker. For all of the great rush and excitement a special girl can bring it also comes with the painful part when you go the extra mile to show her a better path and she doesnt take it. But, you came out it relatively unscathed and are a better man for it. Hopefully she can get back to some level of health and regain a grip on reality. Otherwise, it sounds like its an institution or the morgue.

You should post this as your end chapter in the extensive TUSCL Article you wrote in 2013 on this girl. This thread really belongs in there.

That article and your continued saga reminds me of a famous quote "My one purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others".

avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
Did the fat lady sing yet?
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Shadowcat - you & I are probably the only ones who understand when I say I can hear Kate Smith warming up.
avatar for Lurker_X
Lurker_X
7 years ago
I concur with Joc13 and Twenty five. Something gets ruined in people who were once addicts. They lose reciprocity, empathy, toward other people. They can plead for a favor- you do it- and they do not bother to thank you or even tell you whether you did it right.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
along those lines:

https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghos…

SJG

youtube terminates exploitive kids channel
https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/17/youtub…

Stones, awesome long playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC0Qt1lv…
avatar for Corvus
Corvus
7 years ago
Best of luck Gawker. I fired a girl over a year ago because of disrespect. While it was a completely different situation than yours the disrespect was the last straw. Hope the new girl works out for you.

The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another. At least I hope so.
avatar for TFP
TFP
7 years ago
Upright citizen wrote "
You should post this as your end chapter in the extensive TUSCL Article you wrote in 2013 on this girl. This thread really belongs in there. "

Time to go searching and learn some history. I've always questioned why a guy would go through all of what Gawker did. Maybe his old article is what I need to read to gain insight.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Trust me, I'm beating myself up over my stupidity. How could I have trusted her to do the right thing? How could I have been blind to what in retrospect were facts?
I have a California King sized bed. While using dope she repeatedly fell asleep with cigarettes burning holes in a blanket, three sheets a pillowcase, and a mattress cover. As I bought new ones today and struggled getting the cover on the mattress I began to feel a rage. I could only hear her voice saying, "Don't you know it's all just a hustle?"
There are several outstanding warrants for missed court appearances in the state where she's currently living. I'm so tempted to drop a dime on her and then when she's in that county's shithole of a woman's lockup send her a note saying, "No, I didn't know it was just a hustle".
For several years posters here have told me that no good would come of this. My arrogance, believing that I could make a difference and enjoy her pussy at the same time now ashamed me and enraged me at the same time.
I'm going to sleep on the idea of calling the cops in East Bumfuck. Revenge is not generally my style, but it would feel awful good right now.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
Got any good revenge porn? :)
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
Gawker-- we've all been there whether it's been a stripper or as in my case a civilian we knew we should not be with but because we were blinded by love we stuck it out longer than we should have.

In my case that relationship started me on my mongering path. Let this ending be your salvation back to a normal mongering life.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Shadowcat - I've got hundreds of pictures ranging from wearing a bikini on the beach to sucking my cock. I have series of short videos of her masturbating and several videos of her fucking & sucking other guys. Then there's a classic of her stripping in a girlfriends kitchen, but she announces that it's for me.
My biggest concern is her son. He already knows she's an addict. I don't want to be the one to let him know she's a whore, too.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Rh48 - in the early 60's Playboy magazine had a cartoon where this very normal couple is sitting watching TV and their son is introducing his girl friend. She's clearly a floozie wearing a sandwich board with flashing lights announcing $5 a throw - great head for the right price, etc.
The father is speaking to the mother saying, "I think he's blinddd by love".
If the foo shits....
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
gawker - I can understand that. I was just kidding anyhow. I have lots of photos of ex favorites that I would never think of posting on the internet. I have some class.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
@gawker. I haven't been put through the wringer that you have, but I am starting to understand what its like to be hooked on an addict. I'm going through it myself now. I can't sleep because I keep hoping she is okay, but there is nothing I can do.

My advice:
Let it go if you can bro. This resentment will eat at you if you don't.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
"I'm so tempted to drop a dime on her and then when she's in that county's shithole of a woman's lockup send her a note saying, "No, I didn't know it was just a hustle"."

"I'm going to sleep on the idea of calling the cops in East Bumfuck. Revenge is not generally my style, but it would feel awful good right now."
***********************************************************************************************

I read this and the rest of your whiny diatribe and have come to the conclusion that you are a wretched old woman who likely barely had one functioning testicle even in his prime. It wasn't "arrogance" that kept you fucking her while "trying to help her", but rather it was emotional weakness that kept you strung along all that time. It is the same weakness that once again has you forgetting what your role was in all of this and what this was supposed to be.

You are right in that you should have known what this was all along, which was an old man feeding tons of cash to a young junkie so that he could get into her pussy. You have almost 40 years on this girl and started leveraging your cash for her pussy several years ago, when she was in her 20s. Also, with respect to your home, you knew what she was yet you brought her into your home not once, but twice, even though she did the same shit the first time.

You are as culpable as anyone for any harm that you sustained in all of this, so spare us your womanly squeals of moral outrage and act like a man for once in this whole miserable saga of desperation and self-delusion. Once, just once, dig deep and find a little manly pride, at least enough to finally just walk away and not cause more harm than you already have by enabling this girl for so many years.

And to your affinity play with shadow earlier, knowing that old cultural reference may be the only thing you two have in common. Read enough of shadow's stories and you'll see that he understands his role and carries himself like a man, even if one of advanced years. He has his fun and then moves on. You, on the other hand...
avatar for K
K
7 years ago
"I'm going to sleep on the idea of calling the cops in East Bumfuck. Revenge is not generally my style, but it would feel awful good right now."

You cannot undo that action. Do more than sleep on it. Think long and hard.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Whew, I was slightly offended when I read that until I went back and saw who wrote it. Such a MANLY MAN!
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
Rationalized it away already gawker? Not surprised - it's what weak types like you do. ;)

Seriously though, I can't understand how you can even stand yourself. It must be a defense mechanism that keeps desperately weak ankle biting old men from killing themselves out of sheer self-disgust.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
rickdugan - those who question the motives and masculinity of others really should look in a mirror before casting barbs.
I'm entirely comfortable with my "manhood" and choose to share many of the ups and downs in regard to my ATF for my own reasons - primarily because I find it cathartic. If you don't like it, please use the ignore button & I'll consider the same if you choose to keep being an asshole.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
> I'm entirely comfortable with my "manhood"

At least someone is. It's a bitch move to try to throw her to the cops for the same shit you financed and took advantage of over a number of years.
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
If catharsis is your aim then you don't seem to be doing it correctly and should therefore "love your enemies for they tell you your faults". Complaining about your bedsheets being ruined doesn't strike me as being very manly. Neither does wanting revenge. It's been said that only the strong can forgive. You seem to bear that out, for there are those who have suffered far worse than anything you can imagine through no fault of their own, and yet somehow managed to stay their hands; whereas you haven't even begun to reap the karma you've earned by first enabling and then exploiting this woman's drug dependency. And the final absurdity is that you have somehow reached the end of a very long life without ever understanding that measuring and challenging one another's masculinity is what men do. I first became clearly aware of this while observing my classmates as they began to enter puberty. That you, an aged man, are still unaware of this shows that catharsis is certainly not the motive behind your writings.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
Well said anonlvone, with a great deal of truth. In my many years of life I've been fortunate in my dealings with women and yet fully recognize that I've got a blind spot which has fucked me over ( by ny own doings) with my ATF. I don't seek retribution, I was just musing. However it's more than ruined sheets that I am hurt by. The end of a long relationship in which I see my own faults is what really hurts. I've forgiven more than I can count. If I truly have feelings for her and have been unable to help, then what does one do. In my state if an addict is a danger to herself and others a judge can "section" her - mandating a 30 day minimum detox & rehab secure treatment facility. Our republican governor has just called for more beds and longer treatment when needed to stem the tide. Perhaps that's the best option.
It pissed me off when another commenter with a long history of posting about taking advantage of drug impaired strippers criticized me for trying to get a handle on one whose repeatedly tried to help a stripper in the same boat
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
Gawker, if you've really read my posts, you'd know that I steer clear of obvious drug addicts. I've told a couple of stories where I got burned because I didn't see the signs soon enough, but once I did it was over.

But not you. You knowingly fed her drug money for several years, starting when you were in your 60s and her in her 20s, in order to get her pussy. You even drove her to drug buys when it was in your best interest to do so.

Worse though, your emotional weakness prevents you from accepting any of this, so to cope you've concocted this weird creepy old man love story in your head to make what you were doing seem ok. You even went so far as to try to play moral authority with the same girl who you enabled and used for so many years.

You obviously aren't a father or you would understand why you could never be both the enabling John and a moral authority to her. You would also understand the unequal power position you held for so many years and your role in her ongoing misery. To her, you are just another disappointing old man who used her to get what he wanted, period.

But you'll just rationalize this away too, no doubt continuing to adopt a victim mentality and trying to convince yourself that you really were trying to help her. You are too much of a sackless pussy to just own what you are.

And since you don't have kids (which may be a blessing), your legacy, as it currently stands, is doing more harm than good to a young drug addict and her child. Nobody cares about what you did for work unless you cured cancer and your wife soon won't even remember your name, so this is what will live on when you die. Now maybe there is still time to change that, but I don't see it. It is much more likely that you'll just keep finding justifications to act like a whiny little cunt until you finally leave this earth in a completely unremarkable manner.
avatar for rockie
rockie
7 years ago
Rick: Stay away from the keyboard when you've been drinking! I am not attacking you, but you have a preference for a social lubricant that improves your outcome as well(alcohol) in your OTC endeavors! It's been my experience that 75% of the dancers (I've interacted) with use drugs. I believe that you don't choose dancers that appear to have a problem. I can assure you that Gawker didn't originally interact with a dancer that showed any signs of drug use. Yes he has chosen to continue to interact with a drug user since then, but there is no one on Tuscl that hasn't (knowingly or not). There is no higher moral ground in this hobby imho!
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
> Rick: Stay away from the keyboard when you've been drinking! I am not attacking you

Bullwinkle must be so ashamed.

> Yes he has chosen to continue to interact with a drug user since then, but there is no one on Tuscl that hasn't (knowingly or not).

Sure, it can happen unknowingly. When I had a returning CF show up at the club with track marks, it was over, though. That's pretty different from driving an addict around to make drug buys.
avatar for rockie
rockie
7 years ago
And when the addiction exists without the trackmarks?
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
Any addiction is a turn-off to me. The one I have been willing to tolerate has been nicotine.
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