Another CF/ARE thread.

Meant CF/ATF

She just cares that we are spending money on them, the only time she might care if she is your CF. Is when she can call and try to get money out of you with little effort on her part. All else is SS.

I think they care a lot because it makes the job a lot easier and profitable. I would think that a dancer would like to make as much money from as few customers as possible Also, she would probably prefer to dance with a known commodity than some stranger who could be unpleasant, cheap or just an overall negative to her. This would also reduce the toll on her and she could do this longer than another dancer that burns out on cheap assholes.

Also, a dancer could schedule her shifts based on if her regulars were showing up that day instead of wasting a shift where there are few or mostly non spending customers. If she's more sophisticated, she could just tell the customer that she only works certain slow days so the customers comes on those days and she can still make money on the busier days with non regulars. And you can't discount the value of having a repeat customer or sugar daddy for who knows how long (years even for some ATFS) than just a one time whale.

A dancer is a CF/ATF because of the way she treats me, including OTC dates. Does she care about me more than the average customer? I think so. Do I believe she truly loves me? I'm not that delusional.

There's usually a reason why an ATF/CF will usually go straight to her regular and stay with him for a long time instead of going to some random PL, even if he expresses great interest in her.

And that reason is steady money....

Since I am at least a weekly regular to my ATF DS, she gives me a lot more time and dick teasing at the club than any of her other PL custies. I have been her only customer for the day on many days and she has flat out admitted that she appreciates me for it and also that I do get priority over most others. I have seen her with other custies and none of them sit and spoon with her like I do and for as long. She has also shared a ton of personal information about herself with me that she doesn't with others. I know more about her than she does about me! I know her full name and a lot of her family member's names and I have seen hundreds of personal photos of her with them. We also smoke weed together and chat like friends when we do. Also if another customer wants dances with her she either gets them done quickly so that she can come back and spend time with me or she checks with me beforehand and asks me if I want to get our usual dances first before going back to the other guy. She has also told me that her other regulars are a little jealous of me. It's understood between us that I am one of her best customers and it definitely shows in how she treats me and her other ones.

LOL there is only one other regular that she has that is higher up in the pecking order than me because when he is there she tells me up front as soon as I arrive that she will be busy that evening. He doesn't see her as frequently as I do, but he hires her for private parties and OTC activities so I'm sure she makes more money at once and in bulk from him over me.

And personally I have been a regular to others and I too have never been given such good civie dick teasing treatment as she gives me. But in general all my ATFs/CFs that I saw regularly always made it a priority to check in with me and work out plans for my visit as soon as I arrive. Ultimately to me this means they care enough to keep me as a regular and stay my CF/ATF. In my experience, it does gain privileges and priority service over not being a regular. And all it "costs" is a semi commitment to one stripper. With the right stripper, it is totally worth it. I would likely NOT be a regular to a stripper that didn't treat me like one.

I assume my atf and all my cf's care just as mush for me as they do a giraffe in the Berlin zoo.

"... I think they care a lot because it makes the job a lot easier and profitable ..."

Not all dancers can be painted w/ the same broad-brush - just b/c they greet their regular w/ open arms and a big fake smile IMO does not mean she's happy to see the regular even if it means $$$, often times they don't have a choice - having to put on a big fake smile and big fake "I'm so happy to see you", i.e. "be in character" visit after visit car become a PITA, especially having to yield-to/accommodate whatever idiosyncrasies/pet-peeves most of us PLs have; and particularly w/ a regular having to put up w/ those idiosyncrasies week after week after week; IMO that shit adds up and perhaps why often times many CFs may start "mailing it in" after a while of the "relationship".

I think many regulars see things thru "regulars colored glasses" and why often times certain posts along the lines of "wow, I thought me and my CF really had a good thing going but then she pulled ..." (to be fair most PLs see things thru PL-colored-glasses).

It's the $$$ - they don't give a shit about custies and in my "glass-half-empty PL-mind" I think the more $$$ one spends on a particular dancer the more respect they lose for that PL, whether the dancer thinks this consciously, or subconsciously.

My 2-cents - not saying my POV is the correct-one and not saying that one should not be a regular b/c it does have its perks; but this belief that a regular is somehow more special than the next PL I think it's pie-in-the-sky thinking - run out of $$$ and see how special she treats you going-forward - she'll drop you like a bad-habit.

Taking off my PL-colored glasses - we are as special to them as they are to us - we run out of $$$, they run out of "love" for us - they put on 30-pounds, we run out of $$$ for them.

Well, of course they do it for the money and the regular provides them with a more efficient regular source of money. Just like waitress and bartenders know and have their favorite customers and it usually has nothing to do with how charming they are, but how much they tip, dancers also have their "favorite" customers. Some of them also can get long in the tooth from the dancer's perspective, which is why i made the discussion "A favorite turning on you," but no one seemed to have that experience or seemed to have no clue why when or if it did happen to them. And by easier, i meant literally less work as it's easier to take one customer for several dances without a lot of selling as opposed to taking several customers for one or two dances each with considerably more selling/hustling. As for the quality and stress of the actual encounters, who knows? I don't or can't fully see the dancers' side, of course. But from my own experience, the dancers' seem much more appreciative, as would be expected, when you spend a lot on them, which a regular usually regularly does.

I'm not saying that non regulars or casuals PLs are less worthy of dancers' attentions, but dancers follow the money and often know where it can be found regarding regulars.

Money my friend, that’s all they care about.

Lol at skibum haha

One of my ex-#1s actually came up to me looking sad and asked if we could talk. She wanted to know if I was firing her. I just laughed.

I wasn't even considering it at the time, but she got demoted to #2 a couple visits later. She has upped her game a bit since I started spending more on my new #1.

^ I think she really likes you - you're special no doubt

i don't think strippers like their regulars any more than the guy who only comes in once or twice a year. but with a regular, its less of a guessing game. if a stripper is in a club, and none of the guys have ever bought dances with her, she really has no idea which guys think she's hot. but with a regular, she doesn't have to guess/figure it out who is her source of income.

i like trying different dancers, but what sirlapdancealot said in his last 4 sentences really sums up why i also enjoy having a favorite.

No Papi, she didn't want to lose the rev. stream.

^ I was patronizing you

No surprise here, but Papi is 100% on point about how strippers view their regulars most of the time. I also will credit GoVikings and Larry for adding onto what Papi has already posted.

I am sure there are many others out there who do experience what jackslash and SirLapdancealot get with their CF's and ATF's, but I assume that the majority of all PL's fall into the situation that Papi described.

I am moving on from my CF because it is very much like Papi has described. I even saw this early on, but I made the mistake of playing the role of chump all too well. I admit I am a chump (we all are). But, I led on her to believe that I am a bigger chump than I really am, and it was clearly showing in the end.

Early on, I knew what was going on. I didn't mind making it easy work for her to make money off of me. This was mainly due to the fact that very rarely am I immediately turned on just by looking at a woman, but she certainly had that affect on me. The other thing that factored into this was when I got dances with her, they were great and not what I typically would get from the other girls in this club. I was used to getting one-and-dones with a lot of the girls at this club. With that said, the lack of competition for her is probably the main reason why I let this all happen the way it did.

If I was in the club, I would always be the first customer she approached and I would make it easy work for her. Sometimes she would approach my table when I've been at the club for only 10 minutes. I was wearing those PL-colored glasses Papi speaks of, but the lenses broke after a couple visits. During the first and second visit to the club to see her, everything she said to me read like she memorized it off a script. It became obvious since the second time I got dances with her, it was word-for-word completely identical to what she said the previous time. I have a very good memory when it comes to details of past conversations with people. She does not have very good acting skills. It is very easy to spot her as a fake. Still, even with broken lenses, I refused to take the glasses off.

The thing is the more I went to see her, the more she couldn't really hide the fact that she does not view me any differently than a casual customer in the club that she will never see again. Sure, she will approach me first. She recognizes where the money is, and she would not be dancing if it weren't for the money. However, the last few times I went to see her, I tried to get her to sit and talk to me for a little bit before getting dances. She will have none of that. She naturally is the "wanna dance" type, and she gets to be very pushy if you try to stall her in her attempt to get you to the dance area.

I don't think she is going to change, and I don't expect her to. In all honesty, the money she was making off of me, she will make off of other customers. It may take a little extra work, and maybe up to 5 customers to get back what I was spending on her. Still, I don't think I am greatly affecting her earnings by deciding I won't go see her anymore.

As I mentioned earlier, not all dancers can be painted w/ the same broad-brush - IMO this also means there can be regular/CF "relationships" that are a bit more "genuine" than others - but at times I've had the opportunity to hear/eavesdrop what dancers say when their custy is not there and it is a shocking contrast to how they present themselves to their custy.

@275:

It doesn't have to be feast of famine, all or nothing - i.e. she genuinely likes you or she thinks one is a total-loser.

The vets on this board have learned to play the game and thru many visits find the type of dancer they enjoy being a regular with even though they know it's about the $$$; but as long as the dancer/CF treats them well/fairly that's really all to be expected except in rare-exceptions.

The SC-game is what it is - one just has to know "the rules"/realities and enjoy it for what it is not what is should be or we thought it was when we were less-experienced.

i.e. the strip-club is not the place to look for love nor "Ms Right" - more like "Ms Right Now"

she cares that you reliably and regularly spend big $ on her. whether you not you consider her a 'favorite' is irrelevant to her

Trust me Papi, I will be the first to admit I am not a relationship type of guy. I enjoy the variety that the clubs offer with no strings attached. For the better part of 6 years I enjoyed clubs without having a "favorite". I am going back to that style of clubbing. The only difference is, I am only going to extras clubs for the foreseeable future.

Even while the majority of the money went to her, I still got dances with other girls too.

In the end, I wanted a few perks for being a regular, such as casual conversations. Her personality was starting to turn me off. Just time to cut bait and move on.

Don't worry 275, you'll find your special ho someday

:)

“but at times I've had the opportunity to hear/eavesdrop what dancers say when their custy is not there and it is a shocking contrast to how they present themselves to their custy.”

What did they say?

Sometimes they clearly do care. I had one who was very pissed that another dancer hugged me when I stage tipped. That CF made a show of ditching me after seeing the hug, forgoing the dance money that I had been hoping to spend on her. The sad thing about it was that the one who had hugged me was a former CF who I still liked and was on friendly terms with, but was solidly former by then.

I agree 96.4 percent with Papi. But we humans are complex creatures. Also, in the p4p world, things are rarely quite exactly as they seem or as we are led to believe. There are often surprises.

There is a stripper that I've enjoyed as a regular for a while but she seems to have been mailing it in lately and her personality seems to have flattened out. I don't know just how to describe it. I had the sense that we had grown mutually tired of each other and were about to move on. Then today I got a text from her that was extremely thoughtful concerning a sick relative of mine. It went above and beyond and isn't going to result in this stripper making an extra buck.

So I agree that it's almost all about the money, even when we are regulars. But there are exceptions at times. We humans often disappoint one another but we are capable, on occasion, of some genuine kindness. Dwelling in the underworld doesn't change that.

@GoV:

Saying all kinds of derogatory things and sometimes literally laughing among each other (especially since I'm perfectly fluent in Spanish and in the Miami clubs most dancers think i'm Anglo).

One that I recall was a dancer both seemingly complaining and laughing/making-fun-of of how it was hard to dance for her regular b/c he had such a big-gut, and taht she couldn't even feel his penis during the dances b/c of his big-gut - they were talking about this in Spanish almost right next to me thinking I did not understand what they were talking about.

Many of these bitches are cold and at most most are indifferent, IMO - meanwhile many a PL is "building castles in the sky" about him and his dancer

I don't mean to say/imply that most dancers talk bad behind their custy's backs; I imagine most appreciate the $$$ the custies spend on them - but not much more than a certain level of appreciation that is basically tied to the transfer of $$$, with some exceptions, IMO

Like any service business, a regular customer with whom you have a good relationship will get priority service and better value.

"I am sure there are many others out there who do experience what jackslash and SirLapdancealot get with their CF's and ATF's, but I assume that the majority of all PL's fall into the situation that Papi described."

^@s275ironman out of my last dozen CFs/ATFs I can attest to having at least half of them more business like as Papi is describing. But that said, I am genuine with strippers. They end up knowing over time that I'm married and I just want a heavy tease and always ITC interactions. I'm not interested in anything beyond this and so I think it puts strippers more at ease with me. It is simply about having a good party time ITC. All I ever expect is a few min of civie dick teasing time and then three songs to 30 min VIP with my option to LDK. If a stripper has issue with any of this I move on without looking back. And so very early on with me and my CFs/ ATFs, the logistics of our business arrangement is predictable and reliable. And eventually this leads to a trusting relationship and one that is very simple and uncomplicated, so a good portion of my CFs/ATFs have been ITC and business friends that know I'm an easy $75-$180 for at most 2 hrs of their time.

And yeah my ATF DS that I have been seeing for over a year is a special one. She truly is a rare Dream Stripper to me. Over my last dozen CFs/ATFs she is by far the only one that gives me so much dick teasing attention and also hangs out with me as a friend more than any of the others. In all my years of mongering I have not had an ATF like her, so I am riding it for all it is worth.

My CF truly loves me. I’m convinced she would keep coming to my house and banging me even if I did not pay her $400.

Put the relationship was in a different context, say in a restaurant or store, where she is there to wait on customers (including you). If you became a regular there, I'm sure her service would be tailored to what she knows of you and your preferences, but it's still a business relationship. When the transaction is done, she has other customers and you have other things to do.

Friendships may grow out of such relationships and last long after you are both out of the SC scene (well, maybe at least her), but that's chancy, and nobody should really expect it while business is being done.

I think they care in the same way that all salespeople care about their repeat customers.

There may be a small minority that get personal / emotional validation out of it. But that number is probably statistically null.

Hah, jackslash. She's only into you for the lasagna!

I’m sure they have an ongoing love affair with my money, and I have no misconceptions about what they love. I’m not special - even my mother knew that - lol!

However, I try to make the experience as pleasurable for the dancer as possible. Back When I had an atf - the vip area had nicely sized booths (about the size of two broom closets) - and i enjoyed sitting with her (after fucking her - and/or after coming on her) and relaxing.

I definitely behaved better than most of the thugs who used her - and that made me feel better. Hopefully it made her nights a bit more enjoyable.

@Cashman I think showing that little bit of respect without trying to turn it into anything more than a business friendship is what some CFs/ATFs appreciate. And yeah they reciprocate with a little better treatment of you than other custies that don't. Not all strippers are cold ROBs and not all custies are pigs. And every now and then the two can coexist with both business and friends relationships. And I think if a PL is cynical and untrusting with all strippers or he goes overboard about thinking it is more than casual friends, then he won't ever experience a genuine friendly relationship with a stripper. And it is entirely possible...with the right one.

@SirLDAlot - I agree. I don’t want to cross that line. My intent is to keep it business - and an enjoyable business experience for both. Since it involves sex - it can become easy for lines to be crossed - and for one of us to get the wrong idea. It seems to relax the dancer a bit when she knows you are enjoying it for what it’s worth.