Fish out of water

67 comments

• TheeOSU

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  7 years ago

  " Sex with her is amazing in that she knows just how I like everything. 1/2 hour blow jobs; sex in positions I've only dreamed of; and a body which is my idea of perfection. In addition she walks around the house totally naked 1/2 the time and is everything I could want sexually. " All of that sounds great but not great enough to put up with the rest of it. Myself,no matter how great the sex is how hot she is etc, i would never let it get as far as you have. I've walked on hot chicks with less drama and trauma so i wold have walked on her long ago. IMO for as long as you've dealt with her you've beat the odds and have been pretty lucky. You're as addicted to her as she is to dope, i wish you well but you're luck will likely not last forever.
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  Are we being trolled? Can a man actually be blinded by pussy so badly that he could make all of these bad choices and then have the nerve to admit to it on this board? gawker if you are for real, I just SMH.
• K

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  7 years ago

  We start wars for pussy. This story isnt hard to believe
• Lurker_X

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  7 years ago

  This thread is only the latest installment of what gawker has gone through with this chick. No way could I see myself putting up with so much turmoil for sex.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  I stopped reading when you said she moved in...
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  You guys never know, this could end up like at the conclusion of Grapes of Wrath. Maybe by April or May, when gawker is starving after eating the last of his box of cat food, his ATF will let him suckle her breastmilk as she lactates after giving birth to the child of a drug dealer from the past summer.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  Friends, giving her money when you can afford it and it looks appropriate. But make her off limits for sex. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  That conclusion of Grapes of Wrath is interesting. Steinbeck liked to try and expand his stories to mythological proportions. For myself, I see him as only a so so writer. ppwh +15 SJG
• Lurker_X

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  7 years ago

  On top of it all, gawker is not far from Providence based on his reviews. With all the easily available extras, walking a ledge for this girl is an unjustifiable set of risks.
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  You're as addicted to her as she is to dope. This hits the crux of this situation in the nose. Gawker, I'm amazed at your capacity for compassion for this woman, but the bottom line is you are a crutch for her. She has never truly hit rock bottom because you have always been there to bail her out. I believe this cycle will continue until you are no longer there to bail her out. As others have stated, I would have left her a long time ago.
• DoctorPhil

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  7 years ago

  @shadowcat "Are we being trolled?" well that's the most likely possibility. the only other possibility is that he has purposely kept enabling her to keep her addicted so he can control. dominate and abuse her as his personal real life sex slave.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  How does someone get to be 55 without learning not to allow this type of trouble in your life? Someone really needs to review the hot crazy matrix, b/c if you walk away with only your car getting keyed it'll be a miracle. You need to call some friends and have them stage an intervention. Run for the nearest exit. [view link]
• BurlingtonHoFactory

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  7 years ago

  @gawker, I believe the story. Personally, I think it's great. You like her, she likes having a roof over her head and a ride. Works out well for everyone. Tell us more. What does she look like?
• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  Gawker, you're going to end up dead. She will kill you or a drug dealer or boyfriend will kill you. You've got to get her out of your home and break it off with her. I say this as someone who has done stupid, fucked-up things for strippers. For example, I drove my ATF to dangerous neighborhoods in Detroit so she could buy heroin. By dumb luck I was not robbed or murdered or arrested in a drug sting. Don't be as stupid as me.
• Dougster

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  7 years ago

  Gawker: "How fucked up is this whole scene?" Don't think anyone on TUSCL could top you there.
• Rick999

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  7 years ago

  9 years? Sounds like marriage. Gawker must like the excitement or must be addicted to her.
• Lurker_X

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  7 years ago

  Gawker wrote a long post about a month ago about how many times he has stepped in to rescue this woman (often after another episode of trusting some shady boyfriend) and he'd get her into rehab. He thought this recent time it was finally going to stick.
• Ch3ll

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  7 years ago

  I take it you're 55+, and if so to some extent I can believe that'd be the dream of an older gentleman as far as sex, intimacy goes. The fucked up part is the extent of her habit. I hope the help you are providing makes a positive lasting impact on your life. I can only imagine she is truly thankful and not to mention y'all have been at it for 9 years. That's a pretty long shelf life.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  @Ch3ll - I don't know the details of Gawker's story, but just from this one post, it's clear he's going to stay in denial until he winds up in prison or a hospital or a funeral home. He's not helping her, he's enabling her. Half hour blowjobs and walking around naked are done to control him. He gets pussy, she gets access to his home, car, money and whatever other resources he has. But control is the wrong word as actually they're both completely out of control. He's a slave to her pussy, while she's a slave to her drugs. And she's not thankful. If she had any regard for him, any respect for him at all, she wouldn't use him like this. @Gawker - When you say "bartered" I assume you mean she fucks you in lieu of rent payments since she has no money? Which is why she steals drugs from a drug dealer, and then gives him your money to keep the two of you from getting killed. So I'm guessing the drug dealer wasn't willing to accept her pussy as payment? She's putting your life in danger when you're the only thing keeping her off the streets, when you're the only reason she's still alive herself. Do you have any idea how insane that is? The only sane response to a situation like this is to walk away.
• Uprightcitizen

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  7 years ago

  Good luck Gawker. Hope it works out without you getting hurt. I think I understand your conundrum, help her or she is probably dead in a year. You obviously have feelings for her and you care what happens to her or you wouldnt do this. As others have stated there are other uncomplicated alternatives but less appealing because of your affectiion for her. Hope she appreciates you for what you do for her. Even if she does the drug use will are your biggest danger. Good luck!
• NaturalSelection

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  7 years ago

  Does anyone set their expectations any lower than Gawker?
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  i'd love to see a pic of her in her naked natural beauty. then i'll pass judgment.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  I kind of see everyone's point... I guess if the Grapes of Wrath thing weren't in the cards, I would give gawker the same advice that I would have given to Hugh Hefner earlier this year: You're wasting your life with those young women who just want to use a successful older man! You need to get your life back on track and start coming to Bingo Tuesdays and shuffleboard down at the senior center!
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  there's a universe of possibilities between bingo & shuffleboard and fucking some insane, suicidal, drug addicted stripper. my guess is that gawker's brain is fogged over partly b/c he's fucking her, and partly b/c he doesn't think he can do better. my prescription would be: 1) kick her out of your house; 2) identify the three best men's clubs in your city; 3) each night go to a different club and get dances from the three hottest women you can find, and keep doing this until you find a hot woman who isn't insane and who isn't going to get you killed. this isn't rocket science.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  The nice thing about the bingo in Brockton, MA is that they have clean bathrooms, and the reviews don't mention a bathroom troll: [view link]
• SuperDude

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  7 years ago

  What will you do when LE hits your apartment with a search warrant and takes you out in handcuffs?
• gawker

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  7 years ago

  You assholes who criticize the danger, the excitement and the rush that accompanies the life with my ATF. My wife is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's & severe dementia. I took care
• skibum609

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  7 years ago

  Yesterday we too a foliage drive to New Hampshire; went hiking; stopped for an awesome burger; went home and had sex. I am sitting here at 5:40 a.m. drinking coffee and stretching before my tee time. Bloody Mary's, play 18, some yardwork, some football. So glad I am a boring, married fuck. There has never been a woman in the history of earth hot enough for me to put up with this shit for 2 hours.
• tumblingdice

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  7 years ago

  Mad boy has lost his way.Gawker,go ahead,join her,your salvation is just a shot [view link] God,how long must we hear of your dark stories?Shit or get off the pot.
• jaxdude

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  7 years ago

  lolz I bet she PROBABLY doesn't have any diseases
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  @Gawker I hate the idea of criticiseing you as it is obvious that you are lonely I hope you can find some peace someplace. I wish you good luck and hope you can find some friends and other interests before something bad happens to you.
• 4got2wipe

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  7 years ago

  Didn't your ATF move away for a while gawker?
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  The most amazing accomplishment to me is that she has been able to maintain her body and looks through such a long drug-riddled adventure.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Of course I don't know gawker's idea of perfection.
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  damn gawker. Good story but I sure hope you don't wind up dead. I know enough about drug dealers from the DS to know that you need to stay the fuck away from them. At least carry a gun if you're going be in these kind of situations. I do envy the half hour blow jobs though.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  How good can the technique be if it takes a half hour?
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  ^ I wasn't being serious.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  gawker: "You assholes who criticize the danger, the excitement and the rush that accompanies the life with my ATF. My wife is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's & severe dementia. I took care" <== Your emotional reactions don't seem to match the story you're telling. But if this story has any basis in reality, you should review your medical insurance, find a good shrink, and a better attorney. Going to prison b/c some pissed off drug dealer or stripper set you up is one of the least things that could happen to you.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  Your emotional reactions don't match the story you're telling. But if your story has any basis in reality, you should review your medical insurance, find a good shrink, and a better attorney. Going to prison b/c a pissed off drug dealer or desperate stripper set you up is one of the least things that could happen to you.
• jester214

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  7 years ago

  Flagooner hit the nail on the head. What chick pounds hard drugs for a decade and still looks great?
• FTS

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  7 years ago

  I think Gawker can do pretty much whatever the fuck he wants. This story is something that a young 20-something guy should probably avoid, because it can fuck up the rest of his life, i.e. the next 40 something years. But Gawker... he's an older gentleman, in his 70s, who has probably avoided this kind of situation for most of his life. But now, in his 70s, he can be more reckless and irresponsible. What's the worst that could happen? It's like this: if you snort some coke, fuck for hours with drug addicted spinners, get a cap in your ass, go to jail, all on your 95th birthday, and then die the very same day, then how can you say its irresponsible and inappropriate behavior? Especially if you have no family who depend on you. Contrast that with a teenager performing the same behavior and you can see the difference. The teen has the rest of his life to live, and if he gets an STD, or a life sentence in prison, he's FUCKED. But the 90 yr old? Okay, he's fucked too... for a day or so. Life is messy, life is chaotic, and life is not limited to sitting in a church pew and pondering the pastor's interpretation of the Bible. Shit happens, and it all has a role to play in the dance/game of life.
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  @gawker Thanks for having the courage to post your story. Perhaps you do end up getting some useful advice from someone that's been through a similar circumstance. Or, perhaps your story gives someone else the courage they need to break something off before they get in so deep that they end up in a similar circumstance. I know at least one person grateful for that. Good luck with what you're doing, and I hope your kindness ends up appreciated and that you are able to get this young lady straightened out.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  I’ve seen many of these threads from Gawker. Everyone told him to let go of the girl, but he didn’t listen to any of the advice. I think he’s pretty much set in his ways. All I can say is good luck and hope you don’t end up dead.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  That would be some shit if the key to immortality were cutting ties with your long-term ATF and taking up bingo. Or stamp collecting, as it were: [view link] .
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  gawker... hope you live a long happy life and die with a smile on your face!
• jester214

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  7 years ago

  I don't care how old you are No piece of ass is worth getting shot or or having a dead OD in your house or any other fucked up shit that could come from fooling around with a drug addict.
• BurlingtonHoFactory

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  7 years ago

  It's nice that a few people are being supportive. As for the rest of you... I've never seen such judgmental bullshit in my whole entire life. First off, he's been through some rough times and he deserves his fun. Second, I really doubt that a drug dealer is going to just shoot a 70+ year old civilian. Third, what are the odds that she has an STD? They're small odds. We all know that. Half the people here have gone bareback with a stripper at least once in a moment of weakness, and yet somehow we're all still alive and here to tell Gawker that he shouldn't do exactly what we've already done. The judgmental comments even seem to extend to the girl. So she dances naked and does extras, and that's fine, but she shouldn't do drugs? So basically, show your private parts to every stranger who has a dollar bill, and then let five guys a day stick their dicks in you, but whatever you do, don't try to alter your mood with drugs. Cause drugs are bad. All this from a bunch of guys who pay for sex. I wish I had the balls to live like Gawker is living right now. I probably still wouldn't do it, but it would just be nice to have some balls and know what that feels like for a change.
• gawker

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  7 years ago

  1. Futuretrackstar hit the nail on the head. Life is short and it can get boring towards the end. I do go to the nursing home every day & feed my wife her lunch. I've blown a shitload of money on this chick who ii really enjoy, I know her family ( her phones been off for a week - family doesn't know if she's dead or alive - who they gunna call? Gawker - he'll know where she is) and her son. Her main reason she wants to get clean now? To see her son.. Do I worry about my own health or safety? Not too much. Those of you who picture me as a lonely old fart are wrong. I have many friends but none who know of her. That's private. My golf handicap is 19. I have lots of life options and choose this way to float my boat. My only worry about the current situation is that my daughters find out. They'd be disappointed in me Trust me I've sampled lots of other strippers. About a year ago I looked around my favorite club and counted 7 dancers who have blown or fucked me and I've sampled Providence clubs and found lots of ROB's. My ATF is honest with me even when it hurts. I know of times years ago when she fucked dealers for drugs and know how she hated herself afterwards. I know - an honest drug using stripper is a unicorn. I also know that 75% of the time she doesn't like fucking an old man. Just like you in your 30's would be unlikely to enjoy a woman in her 70's. But there is a mutual attraction which works for us right now. Who knows about next week? I was as pissed at her as I've ever been the night I described in this post. But that doesn't mean walk away. I used escorts for about 10 years and found it to be so impersonal. For me, sex & intimacy are far better when there's a mental attraction. I share my fun and my low points for tittilation and shits & giggles.
• Htxx

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  7 years ago

  @ gawker I get it buddy. There's something that this chick has triggered in you. Been there done that. I'm trying to get over mine too but the reality is I'm going to see her this week. Be careful bud and I'll do the same
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  Not being judgemental, just realistic. I've told him straight up to go chase pussy all over town if that's what he wants. But if you're gonna take risks do so in a controlled way. When you're jeopardizing everything in your life, that's not being in control. Kind of hard to chase pussy when you're in prison, or a hospital or just dead. There's a smart way of doing things, and then there's dumb. This is just dumb.
• DoctorPhil

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  7 years ago

  @burlingtonhofactory “As for the rest of you... I've never seen such judgmental bullshit in my whole entire life.” that’s a pretty darned judgmental statement there yourself sparky. lmfao [view link]
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  @Gawker I didn’t mean to imply that I had an issue with what you are saying I respect you and if you aren’t lonely than I apologize, it did sound that way to me but if I was wrong you would know that better than anyone here. Good luck with you stripper friend just do what you feel comfortable with and as far as your wife is concerned that a tough row to hoe I feel for you on that one.
• Dominic77

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  7 years ago

  @gawker, She seems to have problems getting clean or staying clean. Often addicts who get clean and don't relapse tend to be people who cut ties to all old friends and family, move away, so as a way to prevent the triggering conditions to use. It would mean you wouldn't see her again. Personally, that cure sounds worse than the disease! Maybe, we need to invert this thing and put it on its head? Society's marching orders (1) to quit (2) and stay clean might act like a negative placebo (nocebo), causing stress preventing her from quitting. Tobacco use and alcohol user aren't quite treated the same way. Take a leap with me: imagine a scenario where a worker would, in moderation, pop a suboxy, feel better, then either go to work or taken at the end of the day. It would alleviate both her physical and psychological dependency. First, this is assuming something like suboxy could be used this way. Second, this is assuming that a prescription or a ready supply of suboxy is available in moderation, and affordable on the average wages, say as a Hooters or breastaurant waitress. Third, it assumes that a person could be high level functioning enough on suboxy. Fourth, this assuming that an addict could take in in moderation, just to take the edge off and feel normal, and not to get totally stoned out of her mind. Maybe I'm out of line. But I'm just trying to think outside the box and maybe something like that is a solution for her. It's not like we expect to take away everyone's vices. I mean this as a serious response. but understand, I am not a physician and I cannot give medical advice.
• Rick999

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  7 years ago

  Well I didn't try to criticize gawker that much. I might suggest looking for alternatives by finding another hot dancer like others suggested. I personally try to stay away from dancers who I know are using drugs or have drug issues. Maybe she can get her act together. As far as long term favorites, one dancer once told me she knew me 18 years earlier. I was like wow, thinking, I still don't remember her from that long ago.
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  Gawker - first off - I hope this situation works out for both you and the girl. You are a good writer - as you are able to provide a narrative and details, and keep it interesting. I’m sure you know the girl has a long road ahead of her. I hope she can get herself together - as I’m sure her child would benefit from having his mom around. Hopefully by having a friend to get her out of her previous place (which seemed to feed her addiction) she can get herself together a bit, and then get a start on getting clean too. I’m sure she has some great sexual skills - and I’m sure the views of her nude body are excellent! Enjoy the company - and the benefits - while she’s there. I wish you the best.
• gawker

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  7 years ago

  I wish I could be optimistic about her recovery. She had her best chance when she was totally drug free earlier this year for more than 100 days. She says what she knows I want to hear, but does what she damned well pleases. I'm not going to embarrass myself further by describing her behavior today, but as I sit writing this she lies beside me, naked, snoring through a drug induced haze. She goes psychotically paranoid on crack (flushed her rocks last night with no provocation) and while I know she's got a stash of heroin, I've told her I'll throw her out if she brings crack into the house. What's she do? Call me while I'm at the nursing home asking if I'll get her a "40". She's going to detox tomorrow or I'll drag her ass before a judge and have her committed If I have to. It's a relatively simple process in this state.
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  It’s good to hear that she did get sober for 100 days - so she can do it. You’ve got a plan for tomorrow - and that’s important. Her actions will have consequences - and she may need that to follow through and get to detox. I hope things improve for both you - and her.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Do they allow conjugal visits at detox?
• vincemichaels

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  7 years ago

  Gawker, I hope that nothing truly horrrendous happens to you, but this entire situation screams DANGER. One of the hardest things to do is to walk away, but you know that you have to.
• stripfighter

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  7 years ago

  Nothing we say is going to change what you're going to do. The way I see is Gawker's just as addicted to the lifestyle as she is albeit, with more self-awareness.
• Dblednmike

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  7 years ago

  I don't mean to be yet another negative ass, but she has almost no chance of staying clean if she goes back to dancing. That lifestyle is filled with many chances to fuck up. You're a grown man, and you love the wild sex, and are probably loving the fact that she needs you right now. Even if it is just for basic survival. It's up too you to decide what you're willing to give up for this ride you're on. Just don't fool yourself into thinking it ends well.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Seriously, what could go wrong? A lot of Debbie Downers posting on this thread.
• gawker

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  7 years ago

  Flagooner -- Ha ha ha - Last night she OD'ed in the bathroom and died - I dragged her limp cool body to the bedroom and decided that one last fuck was in order and as I mounted her a neighbor looked in the window & called LE. Now I've been charged with necrophilia and assault with a dead weapon. What could go wrong?? *this paragraph is a work of fiction
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  I’m glad you have a disturbed sense of humor! I’m sure you need it right now. You are a good writer. I hope she’s getting the help she needs in detox right now. Hopefully you can get some rest and relax for a little while.
• pensionking

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  7 years ago

  Detox doesn't work unless she figures out through counseling what underlying trauma she was originally medicating to escape. Even if she was truly clean for 100 days, without a post-treatment plan, she will continue to place herself near any number of triggers (one of which might be receiving cash for sex) resulting in relapse. Sadly, with no ill intentions, gawker may be part of the problem either as a trigger or as the safety net preventing her from hitting bottom as needed to finally kick it. A completely opposite perspective, while admittedly self serving, is to realize that, as an older dude myself, we have a much shorter future (dick) working lifetime ahead of us. We need to get our jollies while we can as tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Some might say that each of us are only responsible for ourselves on this earth. With the considerable cross gawker has to bear, who is to say he shouldn't get what pleasure he can in the days and weeks to follow. One might say none of us are in a position to deny him his basic needs that this troubled soul provides for.
• gawker

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  7 years ago

  Pensionking - your first paragraph is spot on. I live in a very rural area yet less than an hour from PVD and about an hour to BOS. It's no secret that drugs are available everywhere but getting to them from a rural area with no car is tough. I'm very aware that my behavior with her has enabled her drug use for many years. Her step-mom once gave me a dressing down for paying her rent one month. As I've pointed out she has mental health issues which compounded by the drug use make total recovery very unlikely. After detox she would do better if on methadone or suboxone, however she doesn't want to trade one addiction for another. I have no idea how this is going to work out but as you point out in your second paragraph, I may not be around to find out. Lol
• Rick999

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  7 years ago

  Well I wish her luck in getting clean and staying clean. I don't know much about escaping drugs except avoiding them in the first place. Hopefully nothing bad happens.