Fish out of water
gawker
Older than dirt
So my ATF of almost 9 years called me a week ago and she's back shooting 2 1/2 grams of dope and smoking a couple of twenties of "hard" every day. She & her BF split, she was broke and had to get out of her apartment in a very rough neighborhood. I picked her up and she made a drug connection near my house. Since then she's been making a daily buy with me chauffeuring and moved into my house ( a $400,000 condo in a tight knit +55 community). She did get her last paycheck after a couple of days which has now all been spent on her habit. The rent at my house has been bartered.
Last night we went back to her old apartment to get her clothes, dishes, etc. She's on the third floor of an old triple decker with a heroin dealer on the 1st floor and a crack dealer on the 2nd floor. While we're packing, a chick from the 1st floor came up and started smoking crack with her. My ATF asked about the dealer she lives with and the chick says stay away. Instead my ATF goes down asking for him. 10 minutes later he's knocking on the door. She pushed me into the bathroom and shut the door. He came in yelling & screaming at her just like the movies (I.e. I FUCKING CAP YO ASS)
I'm sitting in the bathroom like a scared pussy and she comes in and gets $20 and he leaves. I'm probably the only white guy within a mile and feel like I'm in a 1980's B movie.
She's got a promise of a bed in her favorite detox facility for the morning and she'll be there for the better part of a week and then she wants to start dancing at a club about 10 miles from my house and to live with me for a few months and get her shit together again.
Sex with her is amazing in that she knows just how I like everything. 1/2 hour blow jobs; sex in positions I've only dreamed of; and a body which is my idea of perfection. In addition she walks around the house totally naked 1/2 the time and is everything I could want sexually.
How fucked up is this whole scene?
Last night we went back to her old apartment to get her clothes, dishes, etc. She's on the third floor of an old triple decker with a heroin dealer on the 1st floor and a crack dealer on the 2nd floor. While we're packing, a chick from the 1st floor came up and started smoking crack with her. My ATF asked about the dealer she lives with and the chick says stay away. Instead my ATF goes down asking for him. 10 minutes later he's knocking on the door. She pushed me into the bathroom and shut the door. He came in yelling & screaming at her just like the movies (I.e. I FUCKING CAP YO ASS)
I'm sitting in the bathroom like a scared pussy and she comes in and gets $20 and he leaves. I'm probably the only white guy within a mile and feel like I'm in a 1980's B movie.
She's got a promise of a bed in her favorite detox facility for the morning and she'll be there for the better part of a week and then she wants to start dancing at a club about 10 miles from my house and to live with me for a few months and get her shit together again.
Sex with her is amazing in that she knows just how I like everything. 1/2 hour blow jobs; sex in positions I've only dreamed of; and a body which is my idea of perfection. In addition she walks around the house totally naked 1/2 the time and is everything I could want sexually.
How fucked up is this whole scene?
67 comments
All of that sounds great but not great enough to put up with the rest of it.
Myself,no matter how great the sex is how hot she is etc, i would never let it get as far as you have. I've walked on hot chicks with less drama and trauma so i wold have walked on her long ago.
IMO for as long as you've dealt with her you've beat the odds and have been pretty lucky. You're as addicted to her as she is to dope, i wish you well but you're luck will likely not last forever.
SJG
For myself, I see him as only a so so writer.
ppwh +15
SJG
This hits the crux of this situation in the nose.
Gawker, I'm amazed at your capacity for compassion for this woman, but the bottom line is you are a crutch for her. She has never truly hit rock bottom because you have always been there to bail her out.
I believe this cycle will continue until you are no longer there to bail her out. As others have stated, I would have left her a long time ago.
well that's the most likely possibility. the only other possibility is that he has purposely kept enabling her to keep her addicted so he can control. dominate and abuse her as his personal real life sex slave.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBd…
I say this as someone who has done stupid, fucked-up things for strippers. For example, I drove my ATF to dangerous neighborhoods in Detroit so she could buy heroin. By dumb luck I was not robbed or murdered or arrested in a drug sting. Don't be as stupid as me.
Don't think anyone on TUSCL could top you there.
Gawker must like the excitement or must be addicted to her.
@Gawker - When you say "bartered" I assume you mean she fucks you in lieu of rent payments since she has no money? Which is why she steals drugs from a drug dealer, and then gives him your money to keep the two of you from getting killed. So I'm guessing the drug dealer wasn't willing to accept her pussy as payment? She's putting your life in danger when you're the only thing keeping her off the streets, when you're the only reason she's still alive herself. Do you have any idea how insane that is? The only sane response to a situation like this is to walk away.
Hope she appreciates you for what you do for her. Even if she does the drug use will are your biggest danger. Good luck!
my guess is that gawker's brain is fogged over partly b/c he's fucking her, and partly b/c he doesn't think he can do better. my prescription would be: 1) kick her out of your house; 2) identify the three best men's clubs in your city; 3) each night go to a different club and get dances from the three hottest women you can find, and keep doing this until you find a hot woman who isn't insane and who isn't going to get you killed.
this isn't rocket science.
Life is messy, life is chaotic, and life is not limited to sitting in a church pew and pondering the pastor's interpretation of the Bible. Shit happens, and it all has a role to play in the dance/game of life.
Or, perhaps your story gives someone else the courage they need to break something off before they get in so deep that they end up in a similar circumstance. I know at least one person grateful for that.
Good luck with what you're doing, and I hope your kindness ends up appreciated and that you are able to get this young lady straightened out.
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No piece of ass is worth getting shot or or having a dead OD in your house or any other fucked up shit that could come from fooling around with a drug addict.
The judgmental comments even seem to extend to the girl. So she dances naked and does extras, and that's fine, but she shouldn't do drugs? So basically, show your private parts to every stranger who has a dollar bill, and then let five guys a day stick their dicks in you, but whatever you do, don't try to alter your mood with drugs. Cause drugs are bad. All this from a bunch of guys who pay for sex.
I wish I had the balls to live like Gawker is living right now. I probably still wouldn't do it, but it would just be nice to have some balls and know what that feels like for a change.
Do I worry about my own health or safety? Not too much. Those of you who picture me as a lonely old fart are wrong. I have many friends but none who know of her. That's private. My golf handicap is 19. I have lots of life options and choose this way to float my boat. My only worry about the current situation is that my daughters find out. They'd be disappointed in me
Trust me I've sampled lots of other strippers. About a year ago I looked around my favorite club and counted 7 dancers who have blown or fucked me and I've sampled Providence clubs and found lots of ROB's. My ATF is honest with me even when it hurts. I know of times years ago when she fucked dealers for drugs and know how she hated herself afterwards.
I know - an honest drug using stripper is a unicorn.
I also know that 75% of the time she doesn't like fucking an old man. Just like you in your 30's would be unlikely to enjoy a woman in her 70's. But there is a mutual attraction which works for us right now. Who knows about next week? I was as pissed at her as I've ever been the night I described in this post. But that doesn't mean walk away.
I used escorts for about 10 years and found it to be so impersonal. For me, sex & intimacy are far better when there's a mental attraction.
I share my fun and my low points for tittilation and shits & giggles.
that’s a pretty darned judgmental statement there yourself sparky. lmfao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOVoCpJ2…
She seems to have problems getting clean or staying clean. Often addicts who get clean and don't relapse tend to be people who cut ties to all old friends and family, move away, so as a way to prevent the triggering conditions to use. It would mean you wouldn't see her again. Personally, that cure sounds worse than the disease!
Maybe, we need to invert this thing and put it on its head?
Society's marching orders (1) to quit (2) and stay clean might act like a negative placebo (nocebo), causing stress preventing her from quitting. Tobacco use and alcohol user aren't quite treated the same way. Take a leap with me: imagine a scenario where a worker would, in moderation, pop a suboxy, feel better, then either go to work or taken at the end of the day. It would alleviate both her physical and psychological dependency.
First, this is assuming something like suboxy could be used this way. Second, this is assuming that a prescription or a ready supply of suboxy is available in moderation, and affordable on the average wages, say as a Hooters or breastaurant waitress. Third, it assumes that a person could be high level functioning enough on suboxy. Fourth, this assuming that an addict could take in in moderation, just to take the edge off and feel normal, and not to get totally stoned out of her mind.
Maybe I'm out of line. But I'm just trying to think outside the box and maybe something like that is a solution for her.
It's not like we expect to take away everyone's vices. I mean this as a serious response. but understand, I am not a physician and I cannot give medical advice.
I’m sure you know the girl has a long road ahead of her. I hope she can get herself together - as I’m sure her child would benefit from having his mom around.
Hopefully by having a friend to get her out of her previous place (which seemed to feed her addiction) she can get herself together a bit, and then get a start on getting clean too.
I’m sure she has some great sexual skills - and I’m sure the views of her nude body are excellent! Enjoy the company - and the benefits - while she’s there. I wish you the best.
I'm not going to embarrass myself further by describing her behavior today, but as I sit writing this she lies beside me, naked, snoring through a drug induced haze.
She goes psychotically paranoid on crack (flushed her rocks last night with no provocation) and while I know she's got a stash of heroin, I've told her I'll throw her out if she brings crack into the house. What's she do? Call me while I'm at the nursing home asking if I'll get her a "40".
She's going to detox tomorrow or I'll drag her ass before a judge and have her committed If I have to. It's a relatively simple process in this state.
You’ve got a plan for tomorrow - and that’s important. Her actions will have consequences - and she may need that to follow through and get to detox.
I hope things improve for both you - and her.
You're a grown man, and you love the wild sex, and are probably loving the fact that she needs you right now. Even if it is just for basic survival. It's up too you to decide what you're willing to give up for this ride you're on. Just don't fool yourself into thinking it ends well.
Last night she OD'ed in the bathroom and died - I dragged her limp cool body to the bedroom and decided that one last fuck was in order and as I mounted her a neighbor looked in the window & called LE. Now I've been charged with necrophilia and assault with a dead weapon.
What could go wrong??
*this paragraph is a work of fiction
A completely opposite perspective, while admittedly self serving, is to realize that, as an older dude myself, we have a much shorter future (dick) working lifetime ahead of us. We need to get our jollies while we can as tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Some might say that each of us are only responsible for ourselves on this earth. With the considerable cross gawker has to bear, who is to say he shouldn't get what pleasure he can in the days and weeks to follow. One might say none of us are in a position to deny him his basic needs that this troubled soul provides for.
I'm very aware that my behavior with her has enabled her drug use for many years. Her step-mom once gave me a dressing down for paying her rent one month. As I've pointed out she has mental health issues which compounded by the drug use make total recovery very unlikely. After detox she would do better if on methadone or suboxone, however she doesn't want to trade one addiction for another.
I have no idea how this is going to work out but as you point out in your second paragraph, I may not be around to find out. Lol