It seems that each week we have a poster who thinks a dancer has legitimate feelings for him. I get it - as many dancers are excellent at creating the illusion of having feelings for customers. Are there any PL's or RIL's here who think they could fall for their ATF?
When I'm paying to f--k a dancer OTC (or ITC) I'm not thinking of love. I'm thinking how I will get off with a sexy girl.
I imagine most of us have fallen for a stripper, or fantasized about a relationship with one, at one time or another.
I am old enough that I no longer even fantasize about it, I tend to truly like my ATFs and have kept in contact with a couple who retired many years ago, but I am not interested in having a real romantic relationship with a stripper, on any level whatsoever. 8 years ago -- I said I didn't want that, but can look back and realize I fantasized about it now and then
BTW, I NEVER fell for a stripper when I went to extras clubs; it's only when I transitioned significantly to non-extras clubs that I ever even fantasized about this -- maybe I need the princess fantasy, and her fucking guy after guy behind the curtain kills it :)
Actually ... yes.
When I was in my mid/late 20s, I had an ATF at the Satin Doll in Providence that I fell for pretty hard. I hadn't seen her OTC and I hadn't even gotten extras from her ITC (I was such a naive noob). But, she and I really "connected". We talked a lot. She told me about her son. We really hit it off. Etc., etc.
So, after I'd been going to see her (and spend money on her) weekly for perhaps 2 to 3 months I decided to take the plunge and tell her how I felt and ask her out on a date. And I did! When I was done asking her out, she looked at me with real disappointment and said (summarizing), "Sweetie, you're a customer. And I'm never going to date a customer. Maybe you should start hanging out with another girl."
So, in a way, I actually did find my rainbow unicorn stripper. But instead of the "stripper with a heart of gold" who would magically transform from sex worker to loyal-but-sexy-crazed girlfriend, I found the one stripper that was nice enough to not strip mine a RIL for all the cash he's worth.
I was heartbroken (but lucky to not be financially ruined) and that led to my first long break from strip clubbing. When I got back into it, I had a very different mindset. I like the strippers I see in and out of the club, and I may consider them casual friends. But no more than that.
It works for me.
Ish: She WAS a stripper with a heart of gold! You just had a less-refined view of what that phrase meant, at the time :)
One of my go-to's was willing to tell me some fantasies about stuff she imagined me doing to her... I simply enjoyed it as 1-900 sex talk and didn't take it too literally.
I like the afterglow of visiting a fun girl, and will have flashbacks of stuff we did together, as I grind through the workweek looking at files on my laptop. But I don't imagine either of us confessing deep feelings.
I'll admit I've thought about what it would be like if my ATF and I had a real relationship. I think it would be hard for me to be somewhere in public with her, as my real girlfriend, and wonder how many guys at the same restaurant, movie, whatever venue we're at, had been with her. As it is, she does what she does, our relationship is what it is, and I'm sure it'll hurt somewhat if and when it runs it's course. I do think a lot of her.
I think men can be excused from falling in love and acting like an idiot the first time. After that you're a pathetic loser if you continue to fall in love with prostitutes.
There's always another one around the corner.
@Subraman ... You're not wrong.
Are there any PL's or RIL's here who think they could fall for their ATF?
I won't admit to an ATF, but I had an RIL experience a few years ago. It involved a domestic violence hustle and didn't end well. I haven't gotten that wrapped up since.
I did fall for my ATF last year -- hard! It cost me some money and some heartbreak, but it left me wiser about the ways of strippers. Now I would classify myself as cautious but not cynical about strippers.
Fantasies? Yes. Where I thought of her a play thing on the side, yes. For about a day each until I realized I can't afford both a play thing and a wife. Once for a 19yo dancer where she was a goth/alt/tatted gamer chick and she was exactly half my age, and where it was finally mathematically legal for that to be true! It was the age difference, mainly. Plus she was into light kink and bdsm, a bonus. The other time was for a then at the time fave, because she acted like the perfect mistress.
The harmless fantasies quickly passed.
As a RIL or feelings of love? No.
If you treat the girls like civilians, then they will reciprocate.
SJG
"Now I would classify myself as cautious but not cynical about strippers."
I would tend to agree with MrDeuce's evaluation. I've definitely become cautious, but not completely cynical. I guess I believe that unicorns really do exist, that there really is the stripper with a heart of gold who wants to get out and be in a real relationship. Is that being overly naive? Probably.
My fantasy is close. It's not precisely, that a particular STRIPPER is someone with whom I would get a loving relationship. It's that, someone who is HOT ENOUGH TO BE A STRIPPER is someone with whom I would get a loving relationship.
I have always been disappointed by the looks / appearance / sexiness of the civilian women whom I have met and/or dated in non-strip-club life. I started going to strip clubs merely because I was desperate to get my hands on someone who was (in my assessment) HOT ENOUGH to turn me on, to get me to want to fuck her.
So, do I have fantasies about "love" with any particular stripper? Not really, I don't think, "Oh maybe she really likes me." I am able to walk away at the end of the night and leave that stuff inside the club. But, to the contrary, do I have fantasies about having "love" and it being with someone who also could be any ol' stripper? Oh hell yeah ...
I have wondered at times if I was too brusque with a dancer several years ago at a club. She gravitated quickly to me on two occasions, from among the available PLs in the club. She seemed genuinely friendly, and was new at stripping. It is plausible she close-to-normal. But her double-peirced lips were too much of a turnoff for me, and I kept the conversations dull... Then left during her stage sets rather than make up an excuse to separate myself.
I’ve been clubbing and it’s happened once. ONCE! Where both parties involved had legitimate feelings for each other. How do you know it’s true? When you don’t pay for the sex.
I actually did fall in love with my ATF about six years ago...I even moved in with her for close to three years before breaking up
Shit happens brother
Not all bull Shit with these bitches
I'm not sure if I'm totally jaded - or if I compartmentalize my emotions away - but I've never had actual feelings for a dancer. I've definitely had faves over the years, but never have I felt as though I could have a non business relationship with the girl.
Through the years I've documented on these pages my relationship with my ATF which lasted about 8 years and cost me literally several hundred thousand. Being 40 years older than she and with a chronically Ill wife, I never dreamed of riding off into the sunset with her, but have fantasizes about what it would be like and I don't like the endings of my fantasies. My wife is now in a nursing home and there's no way I'd want my ATF here. After we'd been fucking weekly for a few years I absent-minded lay said I love you. She said, "No. You love what I do, but you don't love me. She was right. About 6 months ago she started getting serious about getting & staying sober after 15 years of shooting heroin. Then she started telling me she loved me. I corrected her and said, "No. You love my money" We were both right. As soon as I stopped supporting her she stopped calling & texting me.
Wisdom
I may have fantasies about what I would like to do with my fave dancer in bed but I have no desire to be in love with a dancer or any other woman for that matter. I go in to the club with the mindset of "I ain't the one".
I ain't the one - you're gonna rope in and continually get money from.
I ain't the one - to fall in love with a dancer
I ain't the one - to try and bully into giving you a tip when you haven't done anything.
I ain't the one ...
There are more, but I digress lol
^ I thought that was going to be the NWA one of the same title:
No. I have lived that "fantasy," and the reality is both far better and far worse than you could imagine.
Well said Gawker. There is wisdom in your words - and it comes from time and experience.
I think a lot of guys fantasize ab what it would be like for a stripper to be in love with them, and what it must be like for our boyfriends, bc of the questions they ask.
Im not so sure ab them fantasizing ab being in love in return. I think sex and love are more blurry for men than women tho, bc of how important sex is to men and to their own feelings of self worth and personal happiness, despite society's generally accepted idea that it's women who fall in love bc of sex. It's more like women want to love the men they are having sex with, but it doesn't mean they do. The blurry line for women is w men who take care of them (not in a sexual pleasure sense).
ppwh, that one is good too, and probably more well known
To answer the question, probably not. I do like my CF a lot though.
Just with the one. Except I don't fantasize about her quitting her job for me, nor believe my feelings for her are anywhere close to her feelings for me. But for the time I'm with her, i fully enjoy every second of the ride
My ATF and I loved each other, but weren't "in love". Not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but we understood it. Still regret cutting her loose.
I'll admit they still tend to fool me. I'm just not falling that hard for them like when I first started SCing.
My current fav I see OTC, I off and on fall for her. She'll say or do something when we are OTC and it makes me think wow, she does have some genuine feelings or wants to get with me. However, days later she does something and I'll say to myself what the hell was I thinking.
Conventional relationships are always challenged. As girls who dance in strip clubs often have had difficult lives. So it would be hard.
But my experience has always been that if you treat them just as you would treat any other woman, you will quickly see that they reciprocate.
SJG
@Ch3ll that's the sign of a very stilled otc girl. She knows how to keep you coming back - and she inspires some great feelings while you are together.
@Cashman I agree. Her simple hey message have me thinking...where, when, funds lol
@Ch3ll that's excellent. She must be well worth it - based on the experience she provides! She's a great find - and it's great to get a text like that.
Yes. What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic lol.
I have sexual fantasies yes. Mostly the 8+ strippers that gave the sexiest laps.
Love fantasies? Fuck no. Lol.
If you are paying her to be w/ you, then you better have some serious game to overcome the hurdle of a dancer seeing a paying custy as as a loser that has to pay women to be w/ him (whether they (dancers) think this consciously or subconsciously) - going from a paying PL to her love-interest has a much higher failure rate than a bucket of KFC surviving in Juice's presence - and by "love interest" I mean genuinely - i.e. that she'd wanna be w/ you even if she was/became financially well-off, vs being w/ you b/c it was in her best-intere$t
^ Ouch. There's a humbling dose of reality.
^ don't patronize me bro
^ LMFAO. I've missed that.
Your feeling better Papi glad to see it we have a bit of catching up to do.
I won't deny that I have more than just sexual feelings for my ATF ATF, but I won't let it get close to love or even faux love. I care about her. I can understand completely how a PL may start to think about being in love with a stripper, but seriously it is 99.9999% just a fantasy and business relationship.
And really. You cannot get any more pathetically lost than finding yourself heartbroken with blue balls over a stripper that never really loved you in the first place!
I think a good defense to falling into the trap is to live the fantasy of being more of a baller at the club with hot chicks that just want your big dick rather than being a win her heart romancer. PL LIFE, BITCHES!!!
I agree with BJ99 too. Men have a harder time differentiating between lust and love for a woman than women do for men.
If you treat them as civilians from the start, what happens will not be limited to fantasy. Guys treat them like shit, because they don't want the girls to open their feelings.
SJG
Tied up in political matters now.
I was totally in love with the DS. Probably still am. But I have no delusions about her ever having any feelings whatsoever for me. It's just an old mans fantasy.
^^^^^^ Seriously though, I think the DS not really reciprocating is mostly because you have not really opened your life up to her.
We have lots of new people on this forum. JS69 gets credit because rather than just cheating on his wife, he made the very hard decision which is sometimes necessary, and divorced her.
SJG
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I don't think about a traditional love relationship with my ATF or any other faves, but I do fantasize about traveling together on something like a cruise where I would have her to myself for a week at a time, fucking whenever I wanted, like BF/GF. I know that's actually been done by some of you PLs, but it's not possible for me, so it remains a nice fantasy!
I luv all dem booties
I have friendships with a few but I don't fantasize that a ho is gonna stop being a ho because I like them. I try to enjoy them for who they are not who I might want them to be. BTW I am not calling all dancers hos please girls on here don't confuse the slang with generalities.