How much leeway ...

21 comments

• s275ironman

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  7 years ago

  I usually only club on Friday or Saturday nights, which are usually very busy. Because of this, most of the dancers use the "wanna dance?" approach. This works in my favor because if they don't interest me, I can politely turn them away and not waste their time or my time. If there are several girls on shift that interest me, I may not be able to get dances with all of them, but if there are about 5 that I would get dances from, I can usually count on maybe 3 of them to stop by my table, and I usually end up getting my #1 or #2 choice out of the lineup.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  Proactive. I told a high hustle dancer the other day that each time I came in it is a clean slate to try to break it gently to her. On my previous visit, she had walked off with a drink I had bought her to hustle other guys while leaving her purse on my table, so I didn't feel bad about it, but she didn't take it well. She apologized afterwards, though. Sometimes the best you can do is whatever you can plausibly justify later. On another recent visit, a dancer came over right as my CF walked in. I asked her not to send her over, but whether her name is XXXXXX? She went over to ask and sent the CF over, and the CF and I hung out for the rest of the night, which was awesome. Since letting a dancer you're not interested in cock block you for quite a while is just lose-lose, I usually allow them to sit (maybe they have reasons beyond selling a dance to want to sit with you) but early on come out with "I'm actually waiting on someone/am not ready for dances because I am just starting on my first beer" etc. Then she says she'll come back and check on me later, I only tip the ones I'm interested in, and we both avoid missing out on what we came there for.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  Maybe the trick to keeping it friendly is actually cultivating a feeling of caring about her instead of just being annoyed by her.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  Happens all the time. The ones you are least interested in are the first(and in my case often only) to approach and invivite themselves on your lap, vs the ones I want bullshitting around or bouncing from "old white guy" to "old white guy". Maybe only I feel this this way but who knows. I usually let them finish their intro and when they ask if I like a dance(which is usually pretty quick, again maybe unique to me for w/e reason) I just say thanks but no thanks if they are below a 6. Those in the 7+ range that use this approach(again not often) I usually oblige.
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  I was just thinking that Subraman's don't be an asshole/don't be a little bitch rules are kind of like the Scylla and Charybdis of strip clubbing. Possibly difficult to apply in the moment, but I think they're pretty nice guiding principles.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  "feel that I'm in the right to club as i please but I still feel-bad about sending a chick on her way soon after she approaches me b/c I don't like them sitting next to me effectively cock-blocking me (at times I'll just grab a dancer I like even if another girl is sitting beside me b/c o/w the cock-blocker will just stay there and no other dancers will approach me)." Yup. I think some hoes time this shit on purpose. One dancer will come up to me and drone on about this, that and the other right after she sees me at the stage(which is how I usually get my choice of dancers attention). Then when the dancer gets off stage and the one has moved on, she's lost or with some other pl/group. And now I have to wait again.
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  I try to let them know as fast as possible if I'm not going to get dances with them. If I just got there and settled in and want to survey my options I make sure I let dancers who i do want dances with know to stop back to see me and I'll definitely get some dances later.
• mark94

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  7 years ago

  I say no as quickly as possible as nicely as possible.
• JAprufrock

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  7 years ago

  Only been to a few clubs since I got back into the game a couple years ago. Had some dancers I wasn't interested in ask if I wanted company and I politely said, "No thanks. I'm good for now" or something to that effect. Also had a couple just sit down next to me without asking and start conversing. I engaged but when asked for a dance, politely declined, saying something to the effect of "Just want to chill have a couple beers." I'd never be rude or insulting like that guy here who told the stripper she was ugly. That's just asinine, no matter how aggressive she may be. Just keep saying no, or excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
• HungryGiraffe

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  7 years ago

  What rh48hr said. In respecting dancers, particularly on busy weekend nights, I let them know right away whether I'll get dances. I tell them I'm waiting on someone or simply not getting dances at the moment.
• sharkhunter

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  7 years ago

  If I'm not busy and she wants to hang around me I might let her but if she's busy bugging me for dances after I said no, I will work on getting her to leave without trying to be rude. I could say something like the last dancer who hung onto my arm for several minutes died in a car accident. In that case though, I didn't really try to get rid of her. If I had I doubt she would have held onto me for so long. Apparently it doesn't take much to get rid of dancers since I've talked to over a hundred in as little as an hour or two. Apparently being too good at getting then to leave allows lots of others to approach. On a busy weekend, most dancers don't usually waste time.
• londonguy

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  7 years ago

  I empathise with you Papi, and I hold the same thoughts in my head when I go clubbing. It's trying to get the balance right really and I think you do so. Like s275ironman, if they approach me with the "wanna dance" line without an intro I usually give them a firm and polite " no thanks" and nothing else. Any dancer should realise rejection goes with the territory and should be mature enough to deal with it without getting stroppy.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  It's easy for me to be pretty mellow about this, because 1. I tend to go to low hustle shifts, 2. I'm not a variety guy. As a result, there's fewer girls coming over to me, they take it better when I dismiss them, and I don't have a fear of missing out on another girl so there's no self-induced pressure to get rid of her. As a result, it's all about context: if I'm feeling less friendly or know she is 100% not my type, I'll get rid of her quickly, but if I'm in a good mood and it's a slow day and I don't have an appointment set up with someone else, I'm perfectly happy telling her "I'm not buying dances but I'll buy you a shot if you hang out for a few minutes" -- there's little downside to me in being on good terms with everyone, sometimes on a slow day she turns out to be fun company for a little while, while I wait to spot someone more interesting
• PrimetimeSchein

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  7 years ago

  Since I usually frequent the same clubs I had developed a repore with one dancer who would latch on to me whenever I went in the club and she was working. She would tell other dancers that I was her client. Idk this until one day I was talking to a dancer and she said she couldn't dance with me because so-so said she got you. I'm like what the FUCK, so I went in on her pretty badly you can't cock block me. Her extras weren't even that good and she wasn't the best looking when I was sober but fuck she was cheap. Anyway it really depends on how busy the club is. I never just tell a bitch to be gone. But at the same time if I know physically she's not my type I'll just say I'm ordering food or waiting on someone just so they can leave. Even though they're dancers I don't wanna say fuck off because you aren't my type. I'm cool with being a dick but that's overboard. If they're in the middle I just chat them up and see what they're about. One thing I learned is that if a dancer can't hold a conversation she'll be terrible in VIP. Doesn't have to be anything personal but I feel like to get great lapdances we gotta at least talk. Unless she just has a killer body and actual know how to dance and know just roll around on me
• s275ironman

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  7 years ago

  ^ I agree 100% with BigTezzy. You know what you're going to get based on the way the dancer approaches you. If she isn't interested in having a conversation, her dancers or performance in VIP will be mechanical at best. If they will actually hold a conversation, they usually don't disappoint.
• goosman

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  7 years ago

  This is a problem. You don't want to be rude because 1. Word may travel that you're a shit bag; 2. Just because you don't want a dance from her now, doesn't mean that you may not want one in the future; 3. These girls are at their job, and just doing there job, and none of us like dealing with a rude asshole at our job. My usual sign when they plop themselves down next to me and I have no interest is to show no interest. Backfired on me the other day, when a dancer told me that I was shy, because I wasn't making eye contact with her. I'm not making eye contact w/you, because I have no interest in you. But she didn't get that, she thought I was shy. That balance of Subraman's rule, where you're not being a bitch/but not being an asshole, leaves you w/some dancer who thinks your shy. One other point though, I disagree w/the notion that convo leads to a better dance, more than "wanna dance". I don't think there is any correlation at least in my neck of the woods. I've had great convos where it seems we're really vibing, leading to distant/mechanical dances. Some of the best dances I've had came off of me already wanting that, when she came & said "wanna dance/quieres un baile". I think because in my area there is so much of a "wanna dance" culture, that you cannot judge a book by it's introductory paragraph, at least here.
• minnow

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  7 years ago

  Papi, you cock blocked playboy you, I hate to see you having to extract yourself out of tight spots. Clearly, Papi has been in club long enough to get the lay of the land, but finds himself being cock blocked by dancers he flat out does not want, or else they're not his top pick(s). My answer is mainly, it depends. I'm mostly with goosman, except for being shy. Sometimes, waiting for desired dancer(s) can be a fools errand. She might be with fuckoe not buying dances for another hour as easily as just 5 more minutes. She might not come out of VIP soon, or if she does, might disappear back to dressing room for who knows how long. If you glimpse a hottie just coming into club, they could take an hour or more just to get ready, no kidding. Just to be clear, merely approaching me for a dance pitch is not cock blocking. Plopping themselves by you (happens most often with dancers whom you have some familiarity with) uninvited, and obviously not leaving anytime soon would be. I'm willing to humor some dancers a while if they have a modicum of attractiveness about them. Sometimes it pays off. One time I was watching the last few minutes of a close ball game when a moderately attractive GND type sat by me. I told her I was going to watch the game to the end, and that I'd definitely be getting some dances after the game. I instantly liked her easy going non-pushy general mien about her. Game went on for about 10 minutes with timeouts, clock stopping, what not. (I can generally tell within first minute, sometimes even first 10-20 seconds whether she'd be compatible with me, or not.) Turned out to be one of the best dances that I had in a while.
• Juslovin

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  7 years ago

  Most times i'll let them sit at least and who knows, something may spark. At times though at one particular club i spotted a few times one particular girl whose cheekbones were stronger than mine, so i had absolutely 0 interest. Before she sat down i politely declined.
• stripfighter

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  7 years ago

  Best thing to do is be pro-active. You can still be polite and friendly. If she parks and tries to keep talking to you tell her "don't want to waste your time but i'm waiting on someone" or if it doesn't work, excuse yourself to approach the one you do want to talk to, better yet call her over and ignore Plompers. She'll feel like a third wheel retard and leave.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  honestly... i like any girl interaction. even if i am not attracted to her. i just don't want to waste her time . she needs to move on to a better target.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  7 years ago

  I let the girl know quickly but respectfully that the wallet will not open for her. Usually works.