How much leeway ...
Papi_Chulo
Miami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
How much leeway do you give dancers you are not interested in but come sit or stand by you?
I have a low EQ and thus often a bit low on patience especially if "I have something on my plate (e.g. getting w/ the dancers I wanna get with)" - but at the same time I'm very cognizant about not being rude and/or hurting anyone's feelings - thus I try not to choo-away a dancer I'm not interested in as soon as she approaches me but in reality is what I feel like doing.
As I've often posted, I like variety and getting w/ as many dancers as I can afford and find desirable; thus I will often miss out on some of the dancers I wanna get w/ either b/c I run out of time in the visit, I'm busy getting dances from someone else, or she's busy - thus I feel I can't afford to entertain in convo every dancer that approaches me just to be polite when I am not interested - especially in the small black clubs I visit where lots of dudes just hang and don't get dances, dancers will often park themselves next to me, and sometimes just not even talk after an initial opening line, and they just park themselves there waiting for me to say yes.
Often times I just have to tell them something along the lines of "i'm not getting any dances right now" to get them to move along so I can be free to be w/ the various girls I want - and even worse is when a dancer I've gotten dances from b/f makes a beeline for me as soon as she seems me - liking variety I will often have to tell them somethng along the lines of "I wanna get dances w/ other girls today" - some take it well and others put a face as if I punched them in the stomach.
Cutting them off soon after the approach me feels rude although doing that is how I enjoy my visits best; not saying I enjoy cutting them off but that i enjoy being free to to do my thing - if I was the type to just wanna get w/ one particular girl on a visit, I think I would feel I could be more patient w/ other dancers talking to me b/c I only have to try and get w/ just one girl - but liking variety I like getting w/ often half-a-dozen girls on a good visit and being cock-blocked severely decreases my chances.
I feel that I'm in the right to club as i please but I still feel-bad about sending a chick on her way soon after she approaches me b/c I don't like them sitting next to me effectively cock-blocking me (at times I'll just grab a dancer I like even if another girl is sitting beside me b/c o/w the cock-blocker will just stay there and no other dancers will approach me).
So - do you often feel exasperated like me - or this does not happen much in the clubs you visit (some clubs are more of a seller's market) - or if you do experience this and it bothers you, how do you try and handle it (just wait till she goes away on her own or are you proactive about getting to move along)?
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I told a high hustle dancer the other day that each time I came in it is a clean slate to try to break it gently to her. On my previous visit, she had walked off with a drink I had bought her to hustle other guys while leaving her purse on my table, so I didn't feel bad about it, but she didn't take it well. She apologized afterwards, though. Sometimes the best you can do is whatever you can plausibly justify later.
On another recent visit, a dancer came over right as my CF walked in. I asked her not to send her over, but whether her name is XXXXXX? She went over to ask and sent the CF over, and the CF and I hung out for the rest of the night, which was awesome.
Since letting a dancer you're not interested in cock block you for quite a while is just lose-lose, I usually allow them to sit (maybe they have reasons beyond selling a dance to want to sit with you) but early on come out with "I'm actually waiting on someone/am not ready for dances because I am just starting on my first beer" etc. Then she says she'll come back and check on me later, I only tip the ones I'm interested in, and we both avoid missing out on what we came there for.
Yup. I think some hoes time this shit on purpose. One dancer will come up to me and drone on about this, that and the other right after she sees me at the stage(which is how I usually get my choice of dancers attention). Then when the dancer gets off stage and the one has moved on, she's lost or with some other pl/group. And now I have to wait again.
If I just got there and settled in and want to survey my options I make sure I let dancers who i do want dances with know to stop back to see me and I'll definitely get some dances later.
Like s275ironman, if they approach me with the "wanna dance" line without an intro I usually give them a firm and polite " no thanks" and nothing else.
Any dancer should realise rejection goes with the territory and should be mature enough to deal with it without getting stroppy.
Anyway it really depends on how busy the club is. I never just tell a bitch to be gone. But at the same time if I know physically she's not my type I'll just say I'm ordering food or waiting on someone just so they can leave. Even though they're dancers I don't wanna say fuck off because you aren't my type. I'm cool with being a dick but that's overboard. If they're in the middle I just chat them up and see what they're about. One thing I learned is that if a dancer can't hold a conversation she'll be terrible in VIP. Doesn't have to be anything personal but I feel like to get great lapdances we gotta at least talk. Unless she just has a killer body and actual know how to dance and know just roll around on me
My usual sign when they plop themselves down next to me and I have no interest is to show no interest. Backfired on me the other day, when a dancer told me that I was shy, because I wasn't making eye contact with her. I'm not making eye contact w/you, because I have no interest in you. But she didn't get that, she thought I was shy. That balance of Subraman's rule, where you're not being a bitch/but not being an asshole, leaves you w/some dancer who thinks your shy.
One other point though, I disagree w/the notion that convo leads to a better dance, more than "wanna dance". I don't think there is any correlation at least in my neck of the woods. I've had great convos where it seems we're really vibing, leading to distant/mechanical dances. Some of the best dances I've had came off of me already wanting that, when she came & said "wanna dance/quieres un baile". I think because in my area there is so much of a "wanna dance" culture, that you cannot judge a book by it's introductory paragraph, at least here.
My answer is mainly, it depends. I'm mostly with goosman, except for being shy. Sometimes, waiting for desired dancer(s) can be a fools errand. She might be with fuckoe not buying dances for another hour as easily as just 5 more minutes. She might not come out of VIP soon, or if she does, might disappear back to dressing room for who knows how long. If you glimpse a hottie just coming into club, they could take an hour or more just to get ready, no kidding. Just to be clear, merely approaching me for a dance pitch is not cock blocking. Plopping themselves by you (happens most often with dancers whom you have some familiarity with) uninvited, and obviously not leaving anytime soon would be. I'm willing to humor some dancers a while if they have a modicum of attractiveness about them. Sometimes it pays off. One time I was watching the last few minutes of a close ball game when a moderately attractive GND type sat by me. I told her I was going to watch the game to the end, and that I'd definitely be getting some dances after the game. I instantly liked her easy going non-pushy general mien about her. Game went on for about 10 minutes with timeouts, clock stopping, what not. (I can generally tell within first minute, sometimes even first 10-20 seconds whether she'd be compatible with me, or not.) Turned out to be one of the best dances that I had in a while.