I have made the ultimate mistake. I am too closely involved and confused
I have been using this site for a while now and read lots of cool advice and stories but I have only signed up to an account today.I have recently turned 20 and live in the UK. I started visiting my local club just under a year ago, just once a month but since December i've literally been going every evening that they are open (THU/FRI/SAT) Thursdays are quiet and cheap and I spend EVERY weekend down the street at the nearest regular night club anyway, I love partying.
I get on well with many of the girls there but I only show up to see one in particular and everybody knows it. I exclusively recieve dances from her and only her other than like 3 other times.
The dancer I see is just 3 years older than me and we have sat down and talked for hours (There is no charge/tipping for girls chatting to you or anything like that)
The problem is, I really like this girl. I know I am sounding like the ultimate "PL" as you guys say but i'm just confused. I spend a fair amount but not anywhere near the amount that I could do. There have been many times where she has stopped me from buying more dances and told me that I should save my money and that she doesn't want to scam me for all i'm worth (even on nights where theres basically zero other customers)
She even limits me to VIP once every few weeks, despite me wanting to go more frequently and being happy to spend.
She finishes work at the weekends 90% of the time and meets me in a couple of the local nightclubs where she will spend a good amount of the evening close to me. We have kissed OTC but never anything sexual. Yes I have purchased many drinks for her OTC but she has honestly purchased just as many in return, we have fun together. She is very fun to be around and doesn't have any of the stereotypical drug, BF, Money issues etc. She lives comfortably alone in our small quiet town. We have shared taxis home after nights out and she even paid a very expensive fare for me after I drunkenly lost my wallet the other night (preventing me from being stranded 16miles from home with 0% phone battery at 5am)
She told me her real name months ago as well as plenty about her life and family. I have even met her Sister. and we regularly speak on Facebook, and never about work or cash. I have been invited to her birthday gathering at her place where there will supposedly be only personal friends and absolutely nobody from the "stripping world" so to speak. Of course I must remain quiet about this when at the club as she would get into a lot of trouble. And the manger even knows me fairly well from OTC.
I used to like her, but of course the ultimate goal was to sleep with her, but now I dont see her like that at all. I certainly wouldn't say no, but I just have more respect than that. If she ever offered me sex for money (I honestly don't think she would) I would actually be heartbroken and decline it. Not in a sad lonely way, but I honestly recieve similar levels of enjoyment by just talking to her over a drink, as opposed to her nakedly grinding on mh lap.
Overall I just wanna know what you guys think of the situation. Do you think i'm being taken for a ride? Or are we legitimately "friends" of some kind. That would be enough for me at this current moment, she just seems cool.
Ps. I only ever leave the club with a smile on my face, I never feel scammed or have any regrets at all, I love it. And she knows full well, that I will be in the club every weekend regardless of OTC encounters or not, so if she is just keeping me happy in order to reel me in, it would be completely pointless and not required.
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If you make a move and get rejected, just look up londonguy on here and he'll take you to a FKK club over in Germany and you'll forget this girl ever existed.
Would or wouldn't - was that a typo?
1. She'll want the same thing and you'll both be happy.
2. She'll give you the old "can we just be friends" and you'll be heartbroken but at least you'll know.
3. She'll be a typical stripper and pivot to p4p and you'll have a decision to make.
4. She'll laugh and tell you she thought you were gay (like shailynn said) and you'll be left mentally scared and unable to love any woman for the rest of your life.
Its 2:30am here, I need to sleep soon. Flying to the US tomorrow night
The thing that has me confused is that you’re still getting dances from this girl. At first you just wanted to score with her, but now you genuinely like her, and she seems to get that. So imo, if you want to find out where you really stand with her, stop getting dances from her.
Imo, the fact that you’ve known her for at least three months and haven’t fucked her yet is a good thing. In my experience, the faster you get a stripper out of a club and into your bed, the more trouble she is. Without any more info to go on, I would have to assume this girl is open to a relationship with you, so I would say go for it, meaning, tell her how you feel and what you want.
For what it’s worth, I met my current girlfriend in a strip club. I could feel her looking at me as soon as I walked in, and she sat down and struck up a conversation with me as soon as I was done chatting with a couple of my regulars. That night I got two dances from her. She gave me her phone number and later that night she called me and told me her name. The next weekend I got one dance from her. The third weekend I didn’t get any dances, but paid her for her time. Until then I had never in my life met a stripper in a club three weekends in a row. For the next six months we would occasionally get together both in and out of men’s clubs, and I would pay her for her time, but the amounts were relatively modest. Recently we started dating, and now the only things I pay for are the usuals like gas, tickets and dinners. I don’t pay her bills. I don’t buy her expensive gifts.
If you want to date a dancer it can be done, but I strongly suggest you stop seeing her in the club and paying her for dances. The money you give her, and the sexual pleasure she gives you, creates a fog that makes it harder for the both of you to think straight. That’s my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.
You will probably laugh at me for particular things but i'm quite and inexperienced guy compared to some of you vets and i'm actually a shy dude when i'm not with friends. Its taken me a while to be properly comfotable around her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIR-kgKI…
I would comment more but good answers have already been given to the op.
-->"Overall I just wanna know what you guys think of the situation. Do you think i'm being taken for a ride? Or are we legitimately "friends" of some kind."
My guess: you're not being taken for a ride, in the sense that, this is some evil manipulative con, she is not spending this much time on you as part of a con, given how little you spend on her. She thinks of you as a customer who she likes (weird posing on this group notwithstanding, strippers do treat customers differently based on this type of thing), and you're making the relationship so easy and safe for her that there's few drawbacks. There's a reason all girls joke about wishing they had a gay bff, and a virtually neutered friendzoned guy is the next best thing. If you're comfortable with that, that's great; I do worry how far you've paddled down Denial though, those Egyptian rivers can be treacherous :).
If you want more then you ought to tell her that. Cause the longer you stay a friend the more the odds diminish of it ever being something more. But of course those odds are very small to begin with.