tuscl

2016 Pathetic Loser of the Year

Daddillac
Atlanta
Friday, December 2, 2016 9:07 AM
PL (Pathetic Loser) of the Year 2016 I would like to nominate myself as the PL of the year. I went to Flashers in Sandy Springs a couple years ago. I was married and going through a brutal divorce. I met a beautiful dancer named Jamie (stage name). I began to be a regular of hers. Being a regular of hers means that I paid $100 a half hour for the room and about 2,000 to her personally for the visit, I would usually arrive at 1 and leave at 6, so about a 1,000 dollar bar/room tab. So visiting her was 3,000 a visit on average. I did this twice a week for about 4 months. Finally I talked her into meeting outside the club. At that point we negotiated 4,000 a week and we would meet a few times a week, maybe have sex twice. This went on for about 2 years. I made the mistake of falling in love, an emotional relationship is so much tougher than a physical one. I really loved her and could see myself marrying her. However as I was nearing the end of my divorce my discretionary funds ran out, you all know what happened next. She was out the door in a day. Now I’m sitting here having lost my best friend, I am the most Pathetic Loser of the year…. Can anybody top that?

126 comments

  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    For those of you doing the math, I went through a little over 450,000 dollars between donations to her, food, gifts, hotels, etc.... Yes it stung a little
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    i have spent about the same but at least i have enjoyed hundreds of women.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I can handle the money, but I really loved her and that is what hurts.... and what makes me the PL of the year.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I feel sorry for the next women I date because the last two (wife and Jamie) have only been after the money and I am more than jaded now.
  • RandomMember
    •
    8 years ago
    Not pathetic -- more like seriously destructive and compulsive/addictive behavior. This story of divorced guys losing their mind is not that uncommon in the stripper and sugaring scenes. You should seriously consider getting counseling, and hope you can afford losing that kind of money.
  • Conundrum
    •
    8 years ago
    Ouch. Don't get discouraged or down, GET UP, dust yourself off, and brother go bravely on. Live and learn from the experience.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm in counseling now at least it is less expensive than being a sugar daddy. As far as the money now that the divorce is final money is not an issue
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    I feel for you man these girls are con artists and deserve some of the blame actually most of it. I hope you are young enough to make some of that back and smart enough to never get hooked on that again.
  • shadowcat
    •
    8 years ago
    Are you shitting us? Flashers is a shit hole to start with. I had a great year at Follies on about $20K.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I know it Shadow.... I just happened in there one day and met a beautiful girl in my opinion. We laughed and had a great time, before I knew it I was in love. Just fucking stupid, I should have known better. I think I was looking for the void that my divorce was causing and she filled that void, it was more than just sex. At least that is what my counselor tells me. However I must warn everyone... Stay away from Flashers, Like shadow says it is a shithole and can be an expensive one at that
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm 47 years old own two businesses and have about 35 employees. I'll make the money back in 2017.... It is really not as much about the money for me, it was the love/relationship. It obviously was about the money for her.
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    Ho. Lee. Shit. Glad to hear that money is not an issue. At least this didn't ruin your life then. As hard as it is now, you'll get over the heartbreak, and sounds like you have plenty of money to find someone new. With the amount you were spending, I think sugaring could actually wind up being a lot less expensive for you. For a few thousand a month you could probably find a hot SB. Since you gave her stage name, can we at least see a photo of what $450k buys? At least a body shot, if you don't want to show her face?
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    still cheaper than a wife in the long run.
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    I can relate to wanting to fill an emotional void. Divorce is no fun and going from having a constant companion to being alone is not easy.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Sleepwalking... As much as I would like to do post a pic of her I won't do it, I still care for her and hope she does well, just breaks my heart. As far as her stage name I imagine she has changed that, most of them change it more often than they change their life stories
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    justme.... still much cheaper than a wife
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    Daddillac: Understood.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Hell, my wife quit being a constant companion 7 years before we divorced. She moved out of the bedroom because she said I snored too loud. I got on a CPAP machine, works great by the way, and she never came back. We would talk a couple times a week, but the last 7 years of marriage was more like having a roomate that I was paying all the the bills
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    What I have basically learned from all this is women want one thing.... Money. I want a relationship, someone I can walk in the park with, go to dinner with, laugh with, cry with, all that hallmark movie sappy shit. I don't believe you can find that in the club. so strippers for me will be about fucking and fun. I'm gonna try to be more like shadow, 20k a year for me to club on and fuck a different one every week.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    As the saying goes, "you can't buy love" - you are not the first and won't be the last to go thru this - she was probably what you needed at the time except you should've just enjoyed your time w/ her as a fling vs getting emotionally involved. So this happened a few years ago or this year?
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Papi... this year, just ended a month ago. I tried to reach out to her today. She said I'm over you and I am happy and I have moved on. The getting emotionally involved is the hardest part. I feel like a broken hearted 16 year old kid, a real fucking loser. I have contemplated buying the club, having it torn down and building a gas station. I called my lawyer about it this morning. I figure then I can recoup the money that way and I wont have to look at that club when I drive by
  • jackslash
    •
    8 years ago
    A middle-aged or older man cannot help falling in love when a hot young woman treats him well and has sex with him and says she loves him. Of course it's improbable that a young girl loves him, and even more improbable if she's a stripper. But it feels so right and so good. "Isn't it pretty to think so?" as Hemingway wrote. The only thing that distinguishes you from many other PLs is the amount of money you spent. Since you say you can afford it, I don't believe you are the pathetic loser of the year. That award belongs to some other guy who was duped but who spent more than he could afford.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks Jack.... but it feels awful
  • TheeOSU
    •
    8 years ago
    No offense intended but seriously if this isn't a made up story they should have your photo in the dictionary when people look up pathetic. This is unfuckingbelieveable!
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    None taken.... and I can assure you it is not made up at all, I wish it was
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Honestly, talking about it here has helped more than anything.... It is just something you don't talk about with your buddies, I mean what are you gonna say "yeah my hot girlfriend of two years left me because I quit paying her 4,000 a week". I have not told my counselor the full extent of our relationship. It is easier here because know one knows me but everyone knows the game. As far as it being made up, look at my history, you can see that I have been fairly calm.... except that review of Flashers on 11/7, where I trashed Jamie. that was a couple days after the break up and I was going stir crazy
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    Damn. I feel for you. Your story sounds like it could be LarryDouchebag telling it, but you come across as sympathetic. Larry also claims to throw away thousands of dollars. He is the PL of the year though, he'said just the Loser of the Year.
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    "He is the PL of the year though, he'said just the Loser of the Year." I meant He is not the PL of the Year though, he's just the Loser of the Year.
  • Imamutt
    •
    8 years ago
    As with all things, it takes time and resolve to recover. I came to the conclusion that mine would utterly consume everything without the least regard for my well being. There is no capacity for return of love, empathy or compassion. So, the realization of the truth is the first step. Being honest with yourself may be the hardest part. Attempts to 'show her' it was her mistake only serves to allow her continued control over you. Shaklynn's stamp collecting circle may be very therapeutic for you. Best of luck.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    8 years ago
    Well you spent more on one dancer than I did on theee dream strippers. Therefore, in the sense of overpaying strippers for sex, you are extraordinarily pathetic. However, I think I was far more in love with my DS. And I still am.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    8 years ago
    theee = three
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    I believe it. I think the story is legit and not made up. I also agree with what jackslash said. Some guy who was duped and spent way more than he can afford is a bigger PL. I think many of us have learned this lesson at some point. Enjoy the ride, but realize it's just that: a ride. Try not to fall in love and think bigger picture, knowing the ride will end at some point, and be prepared to look for someone new, once the ride ends. Who was it, Jay Z, who said "on to the next one"?
  • jackslash
    •
    8 years ago
    I remember when I discovered that my ATF Christie had met a guy and he was living with her. She had been saying she loved me for 2 years, and I had given her a lot of money and helped her in many ways. However, she preferred a young man she had met a couple weeks before, a man who was an ex-felon and a heavy drug user. Did that hurt? You bet. But I got over it, and I learned to keep a healthy skepticism about strippers. I've had a number of favorites who have said they loved me, for what that's worth. Love is a four-letter word.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks guys... it really does help to talk it out. I will let you all know if I decide to buy and close the club, depends a good deal on how much the owner wants for it
  • Mate27
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks for sharing your experience Dadillac. Best wishes for you going forward, and putting this all behind you. Hopefully sharing it helps during your grieving process, as there seems to be a pretty good loss on your part.
  • warhawks
    •
    8 years ago
    Daddiliac, you are not alone. Let's just say I can relate to your story. It's still fresh enough for you as you are still going through it. It took me a good 2 to 3 years to recover in a very similar circumstance. When you fall down that rabbit hole, it can seem like you'll never get out. All I can tell you is... it does get better. It took me a couple years, but I got through it and am back on my feet and loving life again. Fall down 7 times, get up 8. Just don't give up. It does get better. Good luck.
  • BigLoser
    •
    8 years ago
    Sorry for your situation, Daddillac, but you have no idea how badly I needed to read it. I haven't seen my stripper in 8 months. I spent nearly 300K over the course of 3+ years, all ITC. The money didn't matter...still doesn't, but the heart is broken. When I was going through it all, I didn't want to believe she was playing me, but at some point enough became enough. I told here I was tired of treating her like a whore. I didn't care if it was a nickel a day, I was done paying for her to be with me. It was like throwing holy water on a vampire, apparently they don't like the word whore, hmmm. Silence ever since. For me the best thing was to work on myself, working out, vacations, and making an assload of money. The best "revenge" is to live a good life without her. I know my girl is scratching the bottom of the barrel with her loser boyfriend. They deserve each other, a lying whore and a pimp bum. I've only been able to feel anger towards her in the past few weeks, but I think it's a huge step in moving on. Hang in there.
  • ThereAndBackAgain
    •
    8 years ago
    I withdraw from nominating myself :)
  • gammanu95
    •
    8 years ago
    Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    It is easy to think of them all as bitches and hoes.... but when you love one it is difficult
  • TheeOSU
    •
    8 years ago
    Honestly was it really love or just lust? Lust for something that you normally wouldn't have if you didn't pay big for it.
  • gammanu95
    •
    8 years ago
    How could you love her if she didn't love you? You think you loved her, or maybe you loved the idea of her, but I don't think you truly loved her. Stay in counseling.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Thats actually a good question OSU.... I believe at this point it was love. I felt differently about her than I have any other person. I woke up thinking about her every morning. I did things for her that were not tied to sex at all. An example is that I was at Costco and saw some cop uniforms, her kid loves cops so I bought the uniform in his size. I then bought her daughter a princess dress up chest. I helped her plan their birthday parties. I shopped with her for presents. I really lived life with her. Did we fuck? Yes and it was very good, but the whole thing was more about a partnership than a piece of ass. Although maybe I was lusting for that relationship and was blinded by that lust, the truth was she was in it for the money
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    gamma....I'll be in counseling a while
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    Sorry to hear such a story. I myself have been separated/going through a divorce for nearly two years now (separated most of it and just no actions being taken). So I can relate to some of the feelings you may have felt and going to the strip club to begin with. Not sure if it was mentioned, but what was your age in relation to her? I'm not going to roast you about it, but hope that you did indeed learn from it.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm 47 and she was 32. She seemed more stable than other dancers and even in the break up she has been stable. She texted me in the morning telling me she loved me and was excited to see me.... At noon I told her I was not going to pay her that week, at 3 she told me she never wanted to see me again or talk to me again. Then went on radio silence for a month. I sent her a text once a week since the break up telling her I missed her and hoped she was ok. Today she replied, said she was happy to be done with me and I needed to move on
  • ThereAndBackAgain
    •
    8 years ago
    @Daddillac I have concluded that bidirectional love is rare. It's easy to dismiss women as incapable of "loving". It's just that you love her, she loves somebody else. Both men and women are gullible. Men want beautiful women and tend to have a lower threshold for other qualities at a bare minimum. I don't know what women want. We are all guessing :) Their lying makes life bearable for PLs. It's better to buy a chastity belt (or dick lock) and live as a monk than to keep obsessing why she doesn't love you.
  • Imamutt
    •
    8 years ago
    Regardless of how important she may have been to you, you are just another victim in the chain. They know sooner or later their mark will catch on, find another interest, or otherwise be unavailable. No doubt many of these predatory parasites keep more than on the hook at all times. An old ho once told me about the one she should have given up the lifestyle for, and that she tries to tell the younger ones to try to hang onto the ones that are good to them, but that they don't listen.
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    That's not a big difference in age in my opinion. That's just cold, cold, cold on her part. I can only imagine she'd be running back to you in a time of need since in a month she was getting what some people make a year. Knowing that you should ask/prepare yourself to not give in.
  • DrStab
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks for sharing your story and I hope things work out for you. Don't throw good money over bad by buying the club. If you are a successful businessman, you know how to walk away from a bad deal. I'm still a monger who has a strict budget and a very healthy skepticism of the club ladies. They just want my money, and I just want their bodies.
  • warhawks
    •
    8 years ago
    A Genie once was getting ready to grant a man anything he wanted. The man thought: "I'd like a bridge to Hawaii, so I could drive there instead of having to fly there." The Genie said: "That's impossible. Don't you know the logistics of building a bridge to Hawaii would be too difficult? Think of how long that would take? How much money and labor? It would take forever to build. How about a different wish?" The man thought about it, finally said: "My wife says I'm too difficult, lazy and don't talk enough. So I'd like to be able to figure out a woman's mind and what it is she truly wants in a man." The Genie thought about it, and after a few seconds said: "Would you want that bridge to Hawaii to be 2 lanes? Or 4 lanes?"
  • larryfisherman
    •
    8 years ago
    Damn, sorry to hear that. This thread needs to be a sticky thread, for anyone who is falling in love with a stripper.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    Similar to what others have said: 1) don't hold out for an apology from her, these women are not wired that way, in her mind she didn't do anything wrong and you were responsible for your actions (in her mind) - she may actually even see herself as a victim and that she's had worse things done to her in her life than what she did to you (in het mind) 2) decent chance she may try to hit you up again for $$$ and make-up some dire emergency(s) As others have said, move on lest you want more of the same treatment since 99% chance she will play you again (leopards don't change their spots) - chicks like these are damaged people and in reality they often can't do any better - good chance she's burned plenty of bridges in her life including family
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    In the end good chance you will be a wiser and stronger man when you get past this
  • shailynn
    •
    8 years ago
    When money changes hands, you cannot fall in love.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    All very good advice.... in my time here I had read horror stories like this and I was just like the dumb fuck on the news every night saying I did not think it would happen to me. I wish her well, but buying the club, closing it down, riding over it with a bulldozer, then putting up a gas station is sounding like a good idea
  • gawker
    •
    8 years ago
    As I've been reading this thread I've been saying to myself, "stay out of this convo. " I know my ATF is a lying, money grubbing drug addict. I know she's used me, bled me of every cent I have and more. I know she's as promiscuous as they come both ITC and OTC. Sober or high, she still turns me on like no other and I still have difficulty saying no to her. I, too have been seeing a counselor for several years because what I know cognitively I have trouble dealing with emotionally. I hadn't seen her in months, picked her up at the airport, took her to dinner and said no more money. She said she understood, still wanted to be friends, had been sober several weeks, was going back to dancing at her old club, and needed $200 for hair, nails, cabs to & from work, etc. if I could front her she'd pay me back the day after her first night working. I called her that day and she said she'd made more than $1,000 on a Wednesday night ( translation: she blew every guy in the joint and fucked the ones with money). I said weren't you going to send me some money today? Long hesitation - then, "I spent it all, but I'll pay you back this weekend. Now the fact that I've got about 10 boxes of her belongings in my cellar put me in a fairly good bargaining position. Only, after seeing her, I no longer think she wants or will stay sober and when she's on heroin there's no reasoning with her. So, while it's unusual to repeat, I nominate myself for PL of the year.
  • shailynn
    •
    8 years ago
    "I wish her well, but buying the club, closing it down, riding over it with a bulldozer, then putting up a gas station is sounding like a good idea" You will still want to go to strip clubs and she'd likely be working at the new one you wind up going to. Have a drink (bourbon preferably) and just let it go. It doesn't happen overnight but eventually you'll wake up one morning, and will have been a month since you thought about her and then you'll laugh to yourself and say "why the fuck was I all caught up in that skank anyway?"
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I would not care if I saw her in another club, everytime I drive by that club it reminds me of my mistake and pissed me off.... if it's a gas station I think I would feel better
  • MrDeuce
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks for sharing, Dadillac. Many of us can relate to your tale of falling in love with a stripper and spending *way* too much money on her, though it sounds like you make enough moolah to recover rather easily. With all due respect to gawker, who spins wondrous yarns of his sexual and pharmaceutical adventures with his ATF, he seems to have the greater claim to the PL of the Year Award because, though he spent less than $450K, it was money he can't easily make back. I've made the mistake of falling in like / lust / kind of love with a stripper who used to be extremely affectionate both on dates (lots of DFK and whatever kind of sex I wanted) and between dates (super-mushy texts with lots of emojis and terms of endearment) but has cooled noticeably over the past several weeks as she has sensed that she's not going to get much more money out of me. As I described it in a PM to a TUSCL friend, our relationship for the past month has been a "slow-motion train wreck that doesn't have the decency to actually crash". Every time I see her "one last time", she's so fun to be with that I chicken out and stay with her (so to speak). The bad news is that I have seriously overpaid her for a relatively small number of dates; the good news is that the number is still in the few thousands, a minuscule fraction of my net worth. However this ends (and I think I'm seeing her in a little over a week -- "for the last time"!) I have learned two valuable lessons: 1. Never ever get emotionally involved with a stripper. To her, you're just a John -- while she fucks ex-cons and junkies for free! 2. Never ever fucking *ever* advance money to or pay expenses (like rent) for a stripper. Any money she gets from you is hers by divine right with no obligation to provide future services. I'll add a bonus third valuable lesson: 3. The half-life of a stripper's gratitude is one day. Consequently in 10 days it is at 1/1000 of its original level.
  • Corvus
    •
    8 years ago
    Wow. I feel for you but in reality cannot even imagine the level of grief/crap you are going through. And what a bitch, treating her major gravy train like any other PL. $400K over a couple of years! I wonder if she was able to let you go because she saved most of that scratch? I would imagine if she blew through it all she would have begged you to stay. What a cold-hearted, unsympathetic bitch. I fired my ATF girl a couple of months ago and while there was far less money involved, I just couldn't put up with her taking me for granted any longer. And she had the finest pussy around. I miss her body but don't miss the OTC stripper shit. I think you are crazy to even think about buying the club and converting it to a gas station, but if you can afford it, it might just be the best medicine for your condition?
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    Find out what club she works at now and go drop $4k on a younger, hotter dancer at her club. I wonder if she'd still be happy to be done with you after witnessing that. :) Seriously though, her response to you was ice cold. Thank you would have been a lot more appropriate, since you gave her life changing money. Like Papi said though, a lot of these women are damaged and don't think rationally. Not all, but a lot.
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    Heck, if you could afford to buy the club, buy it and own it for a while. Fuck every dancer that works there and I'll bet you'll forget all about this other girl. It will speed your recovery time exponentially.
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    8 years ago
    i got nothing
  • rogertex
    •
    8 years ago
    Sorry pal - for that kinda coin - only way a strippers dumps you is cuz there's a bigger PL out there that deserves the 2016 trophy! When you start making money again, she'll come back to money. I'm 100% certain. Seriously - celebrate the diversity in women. So many times I have concluded sex can't get better only to be delighted with better than best. I see no end in sight - babes will always be incredible.
  • Bavarian
    •
    8 years ago
    Amongst all the crap posts on TUSCL there are still a few interesting posts like this one that make it worth the visit. Holy smokes, Daddillac, that is a lot of coin. No wonder she has no desire to take you back after a month of cutting you lose. If she was smart with her money, she is set and has no pressing financial needs. It sucks but she had no use for you if you were cutting off the cash. Did you expect to continue hanging out for free? I have spent a lot on a CF but not to the level of you guys. I am thankful that she at least is decent enough not to make me believe that she loves me or has any affection for me. No heartbreak on my part. I have broken a lot of strip clubbing rules but not the most important one: Don't fall in love with a stripper. I think there should be a law where every strip club has a prominent sign that says that.
  • rattdog
    •
    8 years ago
    even if you bought the club, burned it down and turned it into a gas station: a) you'd stiil get bummed out over her just from the location alone b) if she's the only you liked it that club then fucking every dancer in that club would not be an idea that you would even entertain find another favorite or two from another club(s) asap. this should alleviate the pain a bit quicker. also indulge in a box of godiva. al pacino said that love is overrated - has the same physiological effects as a box of chocolates.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    8 years ago
    Damn, dude, that's heart-wrenching. I've taken my share of abuse, but that's just plain unreal. My sympathies.
  • LecherousMonk
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm sorry your heart was broken, Daddilac, but I can't consider you pathetic when you own two business and can spend nearly half a million dollars on one stripper in a year. I consider you a role model, honestly. I don't have much experience with women, but these rules have always struck a chord with me, and I think you violated at least a couple of them: [view link]. I hope that helps and also that you find solace in the new year.
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    "Seriously though, her response to you was ice cold. Thank you would have been a lot more appropriate, since you gave her life changing money." I completely agree. I wonder, though, if the stripper hasn't already pissed all that money away.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    -->"Honestly, talking about it here has helped more than anything" Posting here can be incredibly cathartic, especially when you can't confide things to your friends, when those things are seriously affecting your life and outlook. The fact that this forum is mostly about splooging in your own pants and moving from one city in India to another, probably makes this harder to admit than it should be. Anyway! I'm not sure there's a lot of advice or perspective to give you, other than sincere sympathy. I made exactly this type of mistake in the couple of years after I got separated, although the magnitude of the problem was severely constrained by the fact that I paid her more like $200/week instead of $4000. Sometimes, it's good to be poor :) Actually, let met me give you one more perspective from the other side. I am FWB -- that is, genuine good friends, no money exchanged for the sex -- with an x-stripper who got into this type of relationship, and the guy ended up blowing about $30,000 on her in the course of about 2-3 months, and that number doesn't count the incredibly lavish vacations, the incredible luxury and expenditures even when they were not on vacation .. all told, his spending rate per week was right in the ballpark of what you spent. SHE is the one who broke it off with him, and of course I only got to hear her side of the story, as it unfolded (I could see clearly the coming emotional train wreck coming his way). She was genuinely appreciative of the money at first, but resentment crept in pretty quickly as he started acting entitled to all her time and attention, even demanding where and when he wanted her to be. And hell, for $4000-ish a week, I see his point. But even for $4000 a week, the girl didn't want to be treated like a slave or a whore (stop rolling your eyes!), and her resentment rose over the weeks, even as she stayed with him because his money made it too hard to walk away. Meanwhile, he was clearly in complete denial -- He thought she loved him, he loved her back deeply, and he clearly convinced himself that his money was just a generous gift because he wanted to spoil his love, rather than the bedrock and foundation of their relationship. Sometimes she would do something that, even in his state of deep denial he could see clearly what their relationship really was, and that would cause exactly the deep cognitive dissonance that you'd expect, and he'd freak out. It was after one such freakout that she told him to fuck off and left him and his money. He's been trying to get back into her life for over a year now, but she's "ice cold" -- which, he doesn't realize it, is truly a mercy and the healthiest thing for him. Anyway, not saying at all that that was your situation, although I have a feeling that in MANY such situations, there are at least some aspects of the above slipping in ... her loving the money but feeling obligated (even if that obligation is just in her own mind) because of it, that causing resentment instead of gratitude on her part, as the hapless sugar daddy simply blocks out all indications of what's going on under the surface.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    When one pays a woman she's more like an employee and no employee wants ro be on the clock 24/7 nor being contacted 24/7, these women want to have their personal lives and personal time away from the Pl.
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    8 years ago
    @Subraman “He's been trying to get back into her life for over a year now, but she's "ice cold" -- which, he doesn't realize it, is truly a mercy and the healthiest thing for him.” well said. whether or not this applies in the OP’s situation i have no idea but this statement is probably the most insightful thing posted in a long while. PLs, RILs, stalkers and delusional nut jobs of all flavors would do well to take notice
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    It was fascinating being on "the other side" of this -- I am 100% on her side, just like I would be with any other friend (much less a friend who is way too hot for me and gives me sex!), though I try to steer her towards sound & ethical judgement. I could empathize with the guy since I'd been in his position, and knew exactly what he was thinking in his alternative reality. Many times, she'd tell me something like "I'm going to do XYZ for him", and I'd tell her, "okay, but he's in love, and he's going to interpret XYZ as you being in love and wanting even more of a commitment"... and she'd say, "you're being silly, he's not in love, and XYZ is just XYZ, there's no reason for him to read more into it, he knows we're just friends." I don't know if she really didn't see what was happening, or like him, just settled into a comfortable delusion that he understood that their relationship was based on his money.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    That looks like a good link. Thanks. [view link] Same could be applied to favorites in a strip club. Have more than one so that you aren't feeling depressed or in a bind if one flakes out on you , gets fired, etc, etc. It always feels better to have options. I can't say that I spent anything even close to the op or some others. I broke things off with a dancer many years ago and she was the one crying when I told her goodbye. I liked her but I wasn't in love. At that point, she told me she was. There was even a time when she wanted something like 100 or 300 bucks for no good reason in my opinion without offering anything in return and she got so pissed off at me for saying no, that she quit working at the club for 3 months. I had no idea what she was thinking. Maybe she thought I was a sugar daddy but I had never given her any money for nothing before. Back to the ops dancer, If she's a smart dancer and knows how to budget her money, she's off milking other pathetic losers and increasing the size of her savings. If she's like every other dancer, she's already blown through a lot of the money and it will all be gone within 5 to 10 years and she'll be thinking about how good she one had it. A dancer in her 40's is pretty much either at retirement time for dancing or looking to get married or getting ready to start a different job. After working a normal job for a while and seeing a normal paycheck, I bet that money she made as a dancer otc, will seem like big money. Unless she gets a job like a high paid lawyer like Nina plans to get. Some women just luck out and marry successful guys and don't have to really work except for some extra money.
  • jester214
    •
    8 years ago
    Expensive life lesson I suppose. If your serious about finding a real companion it'll never work if you're jaded about money. Unless you can find one who already has her own.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    The link above may not exactly be good for getting married and staying married though. I'm still thinking about that line that says never compliment a dancer you haven't fucked yet on her looks. I think if you tell a girl that she looks good today, she'll wonder why she's not looking good the other 364 days of the year. :)
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    @subraman I don't agree with you thinking that she doesn't get what she is doing to this guy, and just acting female by stringing this poor guy along. I see this as extremely sinister, predatory behavior on this girls part, and actually after reading the OPs posts on this thread I wouldn't be very surprised if she actually targeted this poor guy in his naïveté, and schemed a con to run on him. I would be willing to bet if the OP wanted to investigate there might even be some criminal behavior on her part. I am no legal expert but maybe JS69 might chime in with something here.
  • jester214
    •
    8 years ago
    ^Hard to tell without actually being there, or a lot more information. Maybe she conned him and played on his fragile emotional state. Maybe it was always a business relationship to her and he simply desperately wanted it to be more. In all likelihood I would bet it was probably some of both.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    @jester fair enough but our OP has stated that he is a successful business person I know a lot of business folks and generally they tend to be straightforward about what their requirements are and to me anyway it appears that she knew what he wanted but had her own conflicting agenda. As you say without more information it's hard to make a call but to me this situation requires more investigation as the OP got taken in a very major way.
  • larryfisherman
    •
    8 years ago
    The more I think about this, the more enraged I am at that cold hearted bitch. Karma will come around to her.
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    I don't know that he got taken. Clearly she was a bitch to him, but their arrangement was p4p at $4k per week. He paid her every week and she saw him twice a week I think. I don't think their arrangement ever mentioned a lifetime together or future visits at no cost. It was a business agreement and they both honored that agreement until they cancelled it. Obviously he paid a lot of money and hoped for more, but she didn't rob him. She played on his emotions and her true colors came out in the end, but it's not like she took advance payment from him and then skipped town.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    25, I didn't mean to imply that OP's girl was exactly the same as my FWB. There's no doubt in my mind that evil manipulative bitches absolutely exist, and OP's girl may or may not be one of them. I'm just saying that my FWB, who is usually pretty up front with me about when she's hustling someone and how she manipulates them, genuinely didn't seem to believe that she was evil-ly manipulating this guy -- I'm guessing somewhere deep down she knew, but just like him, she was in denial over it... because, just like him, it would have inconvenienced her to face the truth (he truly wanted to believe the money didn't mean anything, she truly wanted to believe he understood that the money WAS their relationship, and to me, it was crystal clear that both were in some denial)
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    Yes subra what you say is true but they didn't lose equally she made out like a bandit he got skunked my take is this broad is an evil bitch.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    It all started as just meeting out of the club a couple days a week. That moved on to not working at the club at all and her reffering to herself as my girlfriend. We talked most every day, had been to look at houses to move into once the divorce was final. She had brought her kids to meet me a couple times. It was to the point that I did not make a big decision without talking to her about it. She was my best friend. Everything pointed towards this being a long term relationship. At the end of the divorce process money was tight and I asked if I could take a couple weeks off of her payments till divorce finalized. She said that was fine but the next day I got a text that said she thought about it over night and decided she never wanted to see me again. I pushed for information and she went on radio silence for a month. I believe that she is a good woman that will do anything and everything to protect and take care of the ones she loves (her kids). I thought I was one of the ones she loved. I now believe that I was part of the "anything and everything" that she was willing to do. And that hurts bad
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    -->" I now believe that I was part of the "anything and everything" that she was willing to do." That's the important, and correct, epiphany. And it does put some contrast between your girl and my FWB story -- in that case, the guy started using the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend", and she asked him not to, multiple times; she moved over the course of their "relationship", but when he wanted to both cosign her lease and move some of his stuff into her apartment, she refused both requests, etc. Your girl actively manipulated you into this state, the FWB at least did some cursory course-corrections that went unheeded.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    To state the obvious, strip-clubs are not the place to find romance/love - at best they (dancers) pretend to like us and we pretend to believe them and take it for what it is and enjoy for what it is. Strippers do what they do for $$$; if the $$$ is not there they will not do what they do or be w/ us (99% of the time) - who knows what was her true decision process; but most of these women are in fragile day-to-day situations and she might've feared the OP's financial situation would not be the same going-forward and this might've scared her off? Strippers are in the $$$ business and are not gonna turn down $$$ especially major $$$. Per Subra's comments; he shows the other side that we as PLs also have some responsibility in not trying to buy any woman's "love" or expect anything more than a pretend "love" if we insist (consciously or subconsciously) on buying/having it (the ole round peg in square hole) - if we throw $$$ at them they are gonna take it and play the role they gotta play to keep it coming; it's the nature of the beast/game.
  • Sleepwalking
    •
    8 years ago
    Wow. That additional information definitely changes things. If she was looking at houses with you to move in together, she definitely led you on. I've experienced the 'anything and everything' phenomena too. Single mom strippers will sometimes do whatever it takes to take care of their kids. Sad that they can't be more upfront like Subra's hot ass friend.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    Semi-recent StripperWeb thread: "Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?" "... If you do, how do you get past it? I've never had any real regulars until recently. He's young, close to my age, kind of an outcast and shy. He's very sweet, but I think he's naive about how strip clubs work. He's only ever done dances with me, doesn't even really talk to other girls except to be polite if they speak to him. He definitely has a crush on me. I didn't think anything of it until tonight. He told me he was writing a song about me and told me some of the lyrics. It's very depressing and then the chorus is saying he doesn't have to hurt or be sad or afraid anymore because of me. I just felt a little bad because I realized he's probably going to get his heart broken when he realizes he won't get me outside of the club and he's going to lose a lot of money before it happens. Does anyone else still feel guilty when guys catch feelings? I know it's part of the job, but it's new territory for me ..." Some of the responses are sensible are some are cutthroat: [view link]
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    @Daddilac I feel for you buddy it is extremely difficult to be a legitimate guy when this sort of a con is run on you directly. After a bit of reflection you might want to get even in a real way, I might even go so far as to make a formal complaint at the state attorney's office in your area, at the very least you should have your accountant fill in 1099s and file them with the IRS at least you can deduct some of her shit from your taxes and give her a headache at the same time.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    You know Papi that thread from "The Evil Bitch's Gazette" AKA "Stripper Web" gives these cunty broads cover for acting that way. IRL most women are not like this nor are most men for that matter, this is extreme predatory behavior, and it goes way beyond scamming some guy for small change. This is dangerous and needs to be stopped. That is why i suggested that he investigate further, it would not be a shock to find that she has done this before and if she has, then she is a criminal.
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    I never get the part where the guy falls in love with the stripper.
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    I still say Bavarian is the biggest PL on TUSCL. He think the proper way to club is to spend thousands of dollars on strippers all while showing them respect by not even trying to get extras or "touch their pussy". Presumably one day a stripper will reward him for that respect? Yeah, don't hold your breath. RickyBoy is number 2 by thinking it's his System that allows him to sometimes line up OTC with strippers. As opposed to the fact the some strippers just have sex for money and makes no difference what you do.
  • ime
    •
    8 years ago
    There is SJG who wants to be emotionally intimate with whores, and kiss them and DATY with them after they have banged more dudes than you can count. Then there is any other contenders, but no one in his ballpark.
  • timothyjames55
    •
    8 years ago
    I hate to find enjoyment in someone's pain, and I truly DON'T, but it does make me feel a little better. I spent about $50k in 2016, as I write this from a hotel room, out of state where I've gone simply to try some new clubs. This was my first year ever clubbing, and I definitely went overboard. Single, bored, make decent money, so this is what I came up with to spend on instead of a wife and kids, I suppose. 2017 goal: learn from my mistakes, be more efficient and have twice the fun on half the money ($25k). Trust me, if you saw some of my blunders, you'd know it's possible.
  • Corvus
    •
    8 years ago
    Wow, I like the way @twentyfive thinks. File 1099s with the IRS and let the tax man have a run at her! Legal, crafty and satisfying.
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^ Not sure. I guess even if the income was obtained illegally she is still on the hook for taxes. So it would screw, but then he would pretty much to admit to illegal activities himself (and the evidence is here now that he posted on TUSCL). Maybe he could just say "Yeah, I just posted on TUSCL that I paid her for sex so I could seem like a RICH STUD, but in reality I was just paying her for companionship". I doubt anyone would take the hit to their public reputation but if he did, wow! Might also complicate the divorce matters.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    @Dougster - filing 1099s is not admitting to any illegal activity just a way of reporting or documenting a transfer of money to another party she is the one that has to take deductions and justify them, and such he is not admitting to anything other that he, or one of his business paid this money to another individual or entity.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I would imagine most if not all of the transactions were cash based thus no paper trail to back up said transfers
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    @Papi- it doesn't really matter a 1099 is just a way to document payments to another so the tax liability is not yours simple if the guy owns a business it is a way to show that the income taxes from monies paid, are the responsibility of someone else otherwise he needs to pay income tax on any money he takes out of his companies. I file a 1099 to anyone that I pay over a certain amount not sure what the threshold is otherwise you will be responsible for the income taxes owed on that money. remember the money came from a legitimate business, not drug deals or other illicit activities according to the OP, he did say he was making payments of 4K weekly that money had to come from somewhere.
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    @25: I'm saying she could turn it around on him if he pulled such a move.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    To sum up, the pursuit of fine young legal pussy can be a very expensive hobby. If you get fixated on one girl, you might be paying a very high price.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    I don't think so, the penalties for prostitution are no big deal, but if you follow what I have said on this post this guy had a massive con run on him.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^That was @ Dougster, also i don;t think having a sugar baby is illegal, not sure, but he is probably not going to do anything because he feels terribly humiliated and I can feel where he is coming from.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    I can imagine her reaction if he files 1099s to the irs for payments of almost 250k for entertainment expenses and she gets a notice from the irs for tax underpayment. If she still has a good chunk of the money, she should be paying taxes on the money. Actually she should be paying taxes on the income regardless. What's the tax on 450k income or roughly 250k per year? 39%? Plus if she did other work, she needs to report that income too.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    If I filed it all as a gift, she would owe gift taxes, starting at 35 percent.... I would get no write off but she would owe the tax.... I've thought of that
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I won't do that. As much as I am hurt, I have not gotten to the really pissed stage of grief yet.... I'm hoping to get over it before you guys read about me in one of shadow's 2amers
  • jester214
    •
    8 years ago
    I doubt she could cause any legal issues for him but certainly some personal ones. Depending on circumstances those could be very messy and perhaps worse. Trying for revenge against someone who doesn't have much to lose is usually a bad idea.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    Ok .39 or 39% would make her pay about 175k in taxes for that income. IRS only cares about getting their fair share per the law. It's only fair for all other taxpayers in the country that she pays her fair share. He should talk to his lawyer I suppose to make sure his taxes are in order. It could all be entertainment expense or whatever he wants to call it. That is if this whole story is true because there is a disclaimer on this web site that all stories on this web site can be considered a work of fiction as a disclaimer. After all his taxes were up to date, he could notify the irs if he had any um err suspicions that she wasn't paying anywhere close to 175k in taxes the last two years, she could be reported to the irs as suspicious. I don't know the law though. I thought I heard you could report suspected illegal underreporting to the irs.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    Just ignore my rambling post above.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    Actually gifts in excess of 14000, I think the giver has to pay an extra tax.
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^The rule is you don't need to report gifts under $14,000.
  • jester214
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm getting unpleasant flashbacks to tax accounting in college.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Che.... you are right, it is the donor, I was thinking of the estate tax because it is same rates, however even in that case the estate pays the tax before distribution. I'm really not going to try to get even.... how could I possibly do that, she does not have the money..... also as much as I feel like a 16 year old kid with a broken heart, I'm too old to be playing high school dating games
  • twentyfive
    •
    8 years ago
    My suggestion was more tongue in cheek but I never said anything about gifting it was more payment for services rendered and the IRS will not come after you for filing a 1099 I sincerely believe to be legit.
  • larryfisherman
    •
    8 years ago
    Just to play Devil's advocate.... If this was always a pay for play situation and/or she was your sugar baby, then when the money stops coming in she's gone, regardless if you gave her 400K or 400 bucks. It was strictly about the money, nothing else. Simply a money transaction. DONT FALL IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    I sense a new SC rule: Always get receipts for LDs, ITC, OTC...
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    Larry.... it started as pay for play, she made it seem like more, I wanted it to be more..... I learned a valuable lesson albeit an expensive one
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    Lesson: stupid, lying, thieving whores will lie. They will thieve. And they will be whores.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    This situation reminded me of something that was posted a while back on TUSCL and that made the local-news in Houston: [view link]
  • stripfighter
    •
    8 years ago
    "she made it seem like more, I wanted it to be more..... I learned a valuable lesson albeit an expensive one" So it wasn't so much about her as it was about you. Did she really play you, or did you create the fantasy of your own doing?? It sucks that you invested so much into her, time, money, emotion, etc. And it didn't help it was a vulnerable time for you. I've always stated it's ok, and in fact can be great to have an emotional high (what some might call love or lust) just as long as you manage it and see it for what it is. That is to have the emotion connection only exist in the moment. It's that lingering scent that gets you into trouble.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    @stripfighter.....She was pushing for the house..... she brought her kids to see me.... I am sure she was playing me, I was just admitting that I was an easy target
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    "it was not me... it was the one eyed snake..."
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I guess I could buy that Flashers on the cheap now... It's been closed for a week. Talked to the owner yesterday....
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    there you go.
  • Daddillac
    •
    8 years ago
    I have thought about a gas station there to help me recoup some money.... Then I thought about building a park, something I could be proud of and donating it back to the city. I should be able to get a pretty good write off on that. Currently that is what I am planning.... Take a place that reminds me of a poor decision and turn it into something to be proud of
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