"Thank you for being a gentleman"
Papi_Chulo
Miami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
In a strip-club; I don't necessarily see the "thank you for being a gentleman" line as a good thing - I equate that to
"thank you for being a chump, giving me your $$$, while I get to do what I (dancer) like instead of what you (custy) like".
I def respect a dancer's limits; but I go to a strip-club for my entertainmeant and satisfaction; not the dancer's and "what makes her comfortable" while she's taking my $$$.
I don't believe in forcing anyone; stripper or not; to do what they don't wanna do; but I feel like a chump giving my $$$ to a dancer for her to only do "what she's comfortable with" rather than what I like - with the caveat that what I like falls within reasonable limits - i.e. I would not ask a dancer to do w/ me anything past what I would ask a GF to do w/ me (in a physical sense).
As I often post; strip-clubs are bizarro-world and IMO it's often pointless if not futile to try and apply "real-world" logic/behaviors/rules; i.e. go into them w/ a "real world" mindset.
Treating the strip-club using the same logic as the real-world is what IMO gets many PLs into trouble in the strip-clubs; i.e.:
+ being taken-advantage by the "buy the lady a drink?" hustle
+ giving dances tips on top of the dances just b/c they ask and the PL feeling awkard saying no
+ PL thiinking the dancer is into them and that they can date them like a civvy
+ etc
IMO just as PLs inside-the-strip-club get taken advantage off w/ the drink and tip hustles b/c they go in w/ a "real-world" mindset of you don't say no to a "lady", vs going- in a strip-club w/ a "bizarro-world" mindset; so do custies IMO often get short-changed by what I see as a similar "thanks for being a gentleman" hustle which IMO often means thanks for paying for my low-mileage and for allowing me to do what I (dancer) like to do vs what you (custy) like to do.
IMO dancers could give a f*** that the PL acted "like a gentleman"; they're just glad they got the PL's $$$ the easy-way - that's why dancers love clubs the opposite of what SCers like; i.e low-milege clubs where the PL doesn't get shit but pays-up the f'ing nose and dancers see this as the way it should be; i.e. the custy is a "gentleman" by not asking for anything and not getting anything, and spending all his $$$.
As I mentioned - I don't expect a dancer to wanna do what I like; but a dancer should not expect to get my $$$ to do what she likes and is "comfortable with" - to me that is a win/win lose/lose sitiuation - win/win for the dancer b/c shes gets all your $$$ and doesn't have to do anything you like; lose/lose for the custy b/c he gives all his $$$ and doesn't get any or very little of what he likes - and as w/ the various SC hustles to get a custy's $$$ for the least possible output; I tend to see the "thanks for being a gentleman" as yet another hustle of putting the PL kinda in an akward spot such as when a waitress asks a PL in front of a dancer "wanna buy the lady a drink".
Strip-clubs are about sexuality and $$$; niether party is entitled to anything but each party should get what they want in a fair manner w/o coercion on neither side - next time a dancer tells me "thank you for being a gentleman" I'm gonna her tell "I'd appreciate you being a lady and not charging me".
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38 comments
I have had a few dancers be surprised how hands on it was once we went to the back. I've had that in the civvy world too, women who were surprised I was a freak in bed.
But there was a recent incident where a stripper thanked me for being a gentleman, and I remember not understanding the remark -- I'd gone far beyond what is normally tolerated in the no-extras club we were in. My best guess is that I'd checked with her along the way, "okay if I touch here?", "can I spank you harder?", and that seeking consent was what made me a gentleman. Beyond that, I push to get as much contact as I can, and I'd certainly put my fingers in places that are strictly not allowed in this particular club, so I'm lost.
On my last trip, there were some really obnoxious guys sitting near me and my fave were sitting. Whistling, being loud (you know the once a year group that gets away from their wives). She made a comment about them not being men then proceeded to continue to give me VHM dances that had them jealously staring wishing they were me.
That said, groping and grabbing t&a and most beyond that(sucking tits, fiv, etc.) is not really my forte. Its nice for sure but I really want my dick stimulated via grinding first and foremost.
Yes, we are paying for a service, and as such, you should get what you want vs what she wants. But I also think there should be a middle ground. Just because we pay them, doesn't mean we should be allowed free reign to do w/e we want imo. Getting to the middle ground can be accomplished in two ways(aside from just groping them w/o asking, which I don't think they should be subjected to, but they are anyway so whatever). Either asking before paying, or letting her set her boundaries during the dance and if I'm not satisfied, the cost of the dance is the only damage. I just happen to prefer the latter. I find asking them how much can I grope and grab kinda distasteful. But if that works for you great.
On the topic of buying the lady a drink and tipping. I can and have said no before. In one of your threads about strippers drinks I explained I don't do it often. If i do, it's because I wanted to, for w/e reason. About tipping for dances, I do tip them, when I feel it's warranted. I am starting to tip less for dances more than $20 though.
Rarely do dancers and custies; even here on TUSCL, see things the same way.
Some of us have had the opportunity to overhear how dancers talk amongst themselves in relation to custies an how almost 180-degrees difference it can be w.r.t. what they actually tell custies - as I've mentioned in the past; I look Anglo and most Hispanic people think I don't speak Spanish which has lent to the situation where Latina dancers are talking amongst themselves in Spanish about their hustle while I'm a foot or 2 away but they think I can't understand what tney are saying; it's def eye and mouth opening sometimes.
Many SC chumps will spend $300 on a dancer being "Mr Nice Guy" and being all nice and accomodating to the dancer while not getting shit but they think the dancer "likes them" b/c they are so nice - while at the same time many of these chicks will be a complete whore with a guy they like and wanna fuck and will throw themselves at them - so they want the chump PL to treat them as a lady and give them their $$$ so they can go and spend on their unemployed/underemployed BF and fuck and suck him instead; while the chump PL is just left with "she likes me and thinks I'm a nice-guy".
Not that one needs to be an asshole; but one needs to stand their ground and not just do all a strippers says - when it comes to male/female relationships I do feel "nice-guys" that only say yes will def finish last and be used.
Ok I sort of agree. In a 2 way contact club, it should be expected and usually is. But I still prefer them to initiate contact(which they do most of the time, as they are fully aware it's a 2 way contact club and know the possibility you are aware as well) as ime, when I initiate contact it seems most are more content to just sit in your lap and allow you to grope. When I wait for them to initiate contact, seems they are more willing to grind and she will initiate contact naturally. Its almost a one or the other, like most of them can't(or more likely don't want to) grind you and be groped simultaneously... At least not when you start off grabbing.
*her to do to me
^i doubt that's what she really means. Most likely it means something in between that and papi's translation to "thanks for paying for my low mileage and allowing me to do what I like."
It could certainly mean that. But she may have just sat in his lap with minimal effort/dancing and just let him do what he wanted. Which is what some guys are after.
yeah, that does seem to be the case. i had never even thought about it until i read your post, but i agree this holds true. i'm not super grab-y and grope-y during dances.......but I do love sucking tits. and last week when I did a 15 min room with a hot latina she pretty much stopped grinding as i was sucking her titties to my hearts content
"... last week when I did a 15 min room with a hot latina she pretty much stopped grinding as i was sucking her titties to my hearts content ..."
I'm not sure the 2nd-quote is in the realm of the first quote - it's hard to suck on a dancer's tits if she's moving around grinding on you - she has to stay in place so you have access to her tits.
But when you sit still and aren't trying to do too much with your hands(or mouth) they know that you want something besides just groping.
On StripperWeb, I've seen girls say things like, "I'd let him touch my pussy over my thong, but once I do, he'll start trying to get under my thong; and if I let him get away with that, he'll try to stick his fingers inside my pussy." That's why it can pay dividends to establish trust ... she doesn't have to do any preventative boundary-enforcing
As you can see folks, I'm a very crass....BOY
I try to be a gentleman but I do push the envelope. back when I was a kid I would draw beyond the lines.
Basically, I'm ok with a dancer thinking I'm chasing a carrot when she's running me down a path I put in front of her.
I look Anglo and most Hispanic people think I don't speak Spanish which has lent to the situation where Latina dancers are talking amongst themselves in Spanish about their hustle while I'm a foot or 2 away but they think I can't understand what tney are saying; it's def eye and mouth opening sometimes."
Do tell. A great discussion thread alone could be had off of those stories.