Stripclub Epiphanies
Subraman
Car key and wallet dating your sister
I was in my early '20s, really just starting to shift from casual SCer to PL. One of the things I really enjoyed -- and the girls profiled me perfectly -- is sitting with a stripper and letting her rant about customers, and I especially liked it if the customer had asked for something perverted. "That guy there wanted me to squeeze his balls as hard as I could and call him my bitch! I told him to get lost" We'd laugh about it and steal glances at the offending customer. I couldn't believe these guys had such little dignity that they'd ask these princesses for such things, and then stick around the club. Don't they know the girls think they're pervs??!!
Then, one day, came the epiphany: these customers always hung around the club, sometimes for a long time, often doing dances with other strippers. Which meant that, even if ONE particular stripper turned him down, he was finding other girls to indulge him. OF COURSE! If he wasn't being successful getting what he wanted, he wouldn't keep coming back... who really cares if some other stripper or some random customer laugh about it?
I was, in parallel, struggling with my own dark desires, which I wanted to indulge very much in the strip club, but felt was far too perverted. I had a gorgeous ATF (my first!) with an incredible ass. Well, shortly after my epiphany, we're in the booth and she's waving that ass in my face, and I work up the guts and ask her... "I love your ass! Can I spank it?". I held my breath as I waited for her to furiously berate me and throw me out. Instead, she just turns her head with a sweet smile, and "Sure, I love it!".
And that was that ... epiphany leads to first spanking, leads to a PL career based on "ask for what I want, fuck anyone who doesn't approve of me merely requesting it", leads to decades of debauchery -- clothespins on stripper labia, strippers asses and pussies spanked cherry red, you name it (always with explicit, clear consent).
Share an epipany! First OTC, first extras, or anything more offbeat!
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It was an epiphany that the strippers looked forward to seeing me every week just as I looked forward to seeing them. I knew I was a customer with money to them, but it is still nice to be missed.
Ya, we also started using to mean "I realized I was being played by the stripper" etc. Then you'd start seeing things like, "So she told me she had to come home early so she couldn't go OTC with me after work. Then I 'piphed, and wrote her off".
I realized that I can't go there looking for attention or affirmation. I couldn't ask my girl to leave with me, because I was married, and I couldn't really offer her the kind of straight up pursuit that she would want either. So I was in my crippled state looking for attention and affirmation.
I realized that I cannot do that. I have to instead look at what I can give to her and the other girls.
And then story two, another local place, where I learned that there are girls, Latinas, who are just lovely and perfectly happy to do OTC, and they do it as much as they possibly can, and they are wonderful.
SJG
Understanding the Chemistry of the Work of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bliy3qCN…
The other one was when I realized that the image I had of myself as a guy who'd fuck them and leave them, and never get entwined, was totally off base.
for me, it was the first time a dancer made out with me in VIP. i had heard about dancers making out with customers on TUSCL, but I had never experienced it, and then one day it finally happened in a club in north carolina. it was my first truly great VIP experience---and not just because she made out with me--she did some other fun things too. ;-)
--Old dudes past their prime with money seeking sex and companionship from young girls.
--Young girls who need money and would rather not attend the Ivy League
Why not create a place where they can get together and serve common goals?
Epiphany #2: strippers are not like normal girls--they are way, way flakier and more unreliable, and 80% of them will at some point hit you up for financial assistance (even the ones you're fucking "for free"). You have to realize the flakiness and unreliability isn't personal, it's just how they are. Then again, it doesn't mean you should always put up with it--just know going in that there is going to be some substantial element of it you WILL have to deal with. Only you can determine your tolerance level. As for the financial assistance....
Epiphany #3: if you help a stripper financially one time, rest assured she is going to ask again. And again. And again. It's like feeding a stray animal--you do it once thinking you'll be a good person only to find out they keep coming back. Far better to just never do it at all.
CF/ATF are only your friends as long as you spend money on them.
Epiphany #2: As a newbie to the strip club scene, finding out that two way touching is now allowed most places. Finding out that some dancers in clean clubs will let me lick their boobs during regular lap dances.
Epiphany #3: Seeing my ATF for the first time ever on the main stage in a clean club. I was amazed how hot she was, I was more amazed when she let me touch her pussy, and I was in disbelief when I fucked her an hour later in VIP. My first extras ever and it was with a 10 in my book. Hottest woman I've ever had sex with.
Epiphany #4: Hong Kong Gentleman's Club. Enough said.
Absolutely, JS. I learned that within months of transitioning from extras clubs to no-extras clubs, and it's just been reinforced over the years. I go to clubs that are almost militantly no-extras. The girls are no-extras, the club is set up to make extras difficult, the bouncers patrol all areas as if they are ISIS members and the strippers' burkhas are showing their ankles. And not only can extras occur, but I've had them right out on the floor, the vaunted "front room" (think I've told this story before). Anyway, I will say that besides right girl right time right incentive, getting in with management and the rest of the staff can be critical enablers.
#1: Many dancers actively *try* to get customers off, again during normal lappers -- this took about 3 years.
#2: It's possible to touch titties (and other fun parts) during normal lap dances at many clubs -- several years!
#3: BBBJs are available in the VIP room at surprisingly many clubs -- this revelation took me almost 20 years!!
#4: Many strippers seem to enjoy DFKing with me -- at least they do it every time we're in VIP!
#5: Some surprisingly attractive dancers have brought up the subject of OTC with me.
Sometimes I wish I had had these last three epiphanies many years ago instead of since about 2013. OTOH, it's just as well because I would have spent a fortune in SCs since 1994 instead of just a couple grand a year for many years.
I wonder if part of your learning curve was also due to strip-clubs also evolving over-time - i.e. perhaps pre-2000 many SC areas where VHM and extras can now be had where perhaps air-dance centric back then thus VHM/extras were not readily available or perhaps just at a very premium price that many custies were unwilling or unable to pay.
my second epiphany was " what the hell am I doing spending so much money in tijuana over and over again and loving it?
One of my epiphany moments: I think the power these rude dancers have is, the extent to which you're really bothered by them. Take that away, and their power is lost, and they are easily exposed for what they are.
I was in the club waiting for a brand new girl (it was one of the new girl's first days) named Angel. A particularly aggressive hustler named Tori comes by and asks me if I'd like I dance. I tell her I'm waiting for someone -- this was back before I developed my current policy of just saying "no thanks" and not answering any followup questions. Anyway, Tori asks me who I'm waiting for, and I say Angel. She gets an angry look and says, "There's no girl named Angel here", then looks me in the eye and hisses "you're a fucking liar!".
Okay, so what would you have done? Think about it, all you did is tell her you're waiting for someone, and honestly tell her that stripper's name (who was new, which is why the aggressive veteran didn't know her). Who the fuck expects that response?
My response: I laughed out loud. I don't mean internet "lol", I mean, I realized how ridiculous the situation and her reaction were, and started laughing -- out loud, eyes crinkled, mouth wide open, loudly. She looks at me and for a second she's practically apoplectic, then without a word she simply turns around and marches away. Still laughing, I call after her, with a bit of Jerry Seinfeld-like sarcasm in my voice, "No really! She's new! Don't go away mad!" True story, happy ending: that girl NEVER approached me in the club again.
Anyway, that was one of those moments I realized how much stripper shit is just bluff, a low-self-esteem jr-high-school-level of emotional maturity girl, trying to make herself feel better by bullying and counting on the guys just caving.
To this day, I think it was so brilliant that I almost always try to do the same thing -- instead of getting angry or embarrassed, just laugh out loud -- when a girl is getting rude. Sometimes I'm caught so off guard I don't do it, but usually, I can pull it off perfectly. Sometimes the girl just goes away, sometimes it actually de-escalates things.