Feelings for a dancer.
Ok guys. I know you will will tell me I'm an idiot...
Go ahead. I just want to put this out there.
I've had a favorite for several months. She's been very kind and supportive to me. She talked me into seeing my doc about a lump on my head that turned out to be cancer.
She staryed in touch while I was going through treatment. She drove me to the hospital when I broke my leg.
She she's been there for me threw some crap. .
I recently called bs on some SS but she was cool about it and invited my over for dinner at her apt.
To be honest, she was kinder to me than I was to her. So thru all this I find myself really feeling in love with her.
Ok guys. You can start telling me what a fool I am. I'm listening.
Go ahead. I just want to put this out there.
I've had a favorite for several months. She's been very kind and supportive to me. She talked me into seeing my doc about a lump on my head that turned out to be cancer.
She staryed in touch while I was going through treatment. She drove me to the hospital when I broke my leg.
She she's been there for me threw some crap. .
I recently called bs on some SS but she was cool about it and invited my over for dinner at her apt.
To be honest, she was kinder to me than I was to her. So thru all this I find myself really feeling in love with her.
Ok guys. You can start telling me what a fool I am. I'm listening.
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49 comments
You might find a diamond in the rough. But sorry to say, 99.9% of the time, you are setting yourself up for major heart break and dissapountment.
At least, that's been most of our experience on here.
If you pursue a relationship with her, just be prepared to walk. Quickly. Without looking back.
You are not alone.
I develop feelings for girls who repeatedly dance for me.
Be careful and keep in mind these girls see men as walking ATMs.
I just
I'm the wrong person to ask about feelings.
I cried when my cat died but I didn't cry at my mom's funeral. Don't take that the wrong way - I had a great relationship with her
My point is, things can get complicated
1. What is the age gap between you and the stripper?
2. Have you thrown a shit ton of money at her?
Those answers may help determine if you're a cash cow for her or she genuinely likes you. Then again she could just have a big heart and likes to help people she feels are in need. I've met strippers like that although they are rare.
The perspective I would offer is that when you're interacting with a professional storyteller, you're probably going to hear some stories. The best way to proceed is probably just to let on that you can perceive/handle the truth until she gives up and decides to have an honest relationship. It sounds like you have already been going in that direction, though.
Proceed with caution, but maybe you can actually be friends.
Egh, generic stripper persona.
"She staryed in touch while I was going through treatment. She drove me to the hospital when I broke my leg."
How much did she charge?
"I recently called bs on some SS but she was cool about it and invited my over for dinner at her apt."
Did you actually have dinner at her apt?
I look at it this way, can she detangle herself from you and how easily? How much are you involved in her private life outside of work? Do her kids know your name? Do her parents know your name? Do you know her male friends and talked with them?
Actions speak louder than words, especially with strippers. I can imagine a situation where a stripper wishes you would put a ring on her finger, but knows you wont and she settled for that. Some strippers just open up, they have nothing to hide about their private life from customers and who is a customer and who is a real friend, even they dont know.
Staying in touch with you through chemo is impressive.
Driving you to the hospital for a broken leg is very generous.
If dinner at her apartment is not a P4P OTC date, then you might have a girlfriend, BUT...
that girlfriend is a stripper. Are you ready for that?
You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
In a row?
Try not to suck any dick on your way across the parking lot!
2. you fuck whoes. you make love to people you care about. if you don't know the difference I pity you.
3. Paid or free? I thought all those years I was with my ex wife I was getting it for free. After the divorce i learned I was just on the deferred payment plan.
The risk with #2 is that the potential love of your life will find you boring because you're moralizing instead of relating to her.
#3 sounds like the lies you tell yourself when she won't meet you at IHOP without a paycheck.
Having said this I think "dating" a stripper more often than not is not like dating a secretary - there often seems to be shit attached w/ dating "most" strippers that one does not deal with "most" civvies.
I'd say that perhaps if one knows and is aware of the pros and cons and what can possibly come w/ dealing with a stripper OTC then one will only know for sure if they actually deal with them OTC .
But as I've mentioned b/f; it takes two to tango - many of us are just in-lust and our idea of a non-P4P "relationship" is just a fuck-buddy - so if we, consciously or subconsciously, in reality only want their puss; then it's fair-game for them to only want our wallet.
azvic, no disrespect but I don't think anybody was trying to be one of the "Subhuman pigs that can't even discuss a real emotion." It is just hard to judge what's going on and many guys do think strippers feel more for than they actually feel.
This stripper sounds like she does like you. The question is whether she likes you the same way somebody else in a service job, say a barista at a coffee shop, might like a regular customer or whether it is something more.
The sexual dimension that gets added when strippers are involved just convinces guys that it is love when it is actually "you're a good customer and a reasonably nice guy."
Don't let the cynics get you down azvic! But you should also be careful! ;)
Again FUCK YOU. You meant to be an ass now don't bitch when you're called an ass. At least own your douchebagness you sorry cocksucker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_…
Watch it. It's funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD4l8wpb…
It's pretty much like saying, "If I knew who you actually were and where you live and if it was some place near my own neighborhood and if I could get confirmation you are not much bigger, faster and stronger than me, then maybe I'd potentially fuck you up."
It's just not worth it. Say "fuck you" to anyone who disrepects you online and move on. As for the actual situation at hand, mersault already more eloquently said what I would say.
Also, I don't think ppwh intended to be disrespectful.
Maybe too late, but here's my thoughts. I think the most difficult thing to understand -- I mean, it's easy to understand the words, but not easy to truly internalize -- is that if you're paying her, that's the thing that matters most. Not that she did things that would normally indicate she cares about you in a deeper way, not that she kept in touch with you during a break from the paying. I know some girls who have brought this to high art ... the guys feel like, "holy shit, this girl really digs me, and really, the money I give her is just a side thing". My ATATF pulls *thousands* from guys doing this, in Vegas. Part of it is, she really is a great person... but for PLs, she won't be a great person with you unless you're paying, and the kicker is, she will manipulate you into thinking that paying is your idea. Her whole little clique of hot chicks does this, it's their thing.
All in all, if you're in love with her, and paying for anything that you wouldn't be paying a regular civilian girlfriend (even if you THINK that what you're paying her is voluntary on your part), then you're already off the map. The fact that you, an anonymous person, won't discuss whether you've having sex with an anonymous girl, probably is an indication that your feelings are already inappropriate. My guess is, this will be a crushing lesson for you. Absolutely no insult intended, but you asked for opinions.
Good insight!
In this specific case, there are a couple of details that I think go against the grain of the usual story, though:
As for revealing the nature of the relationship, I think you are overestimating the anonymity of the people involved. azvic posted the other day looking for guys to join him to hit up some Grand Avenue clubs in Phoenix. Given such a specific location and the particular details of his story, If the girl he is talking about or probably her coworkers read this, they would most likely know who the dancer and customer are. Personally, I make it a rule to not talk about those kinds of details because I don't see how any good could come of it, but can imagine lots of bad.
Also, in the responses to his clubbing request, most of the guys turned up their noses at the idea of hitting those clubs. I haven't been to Phoenix clubs in over 10 years, but back then the ones on Grand Ave were pretty divy and I wouldn't expect national-level sharks such as you might find in Vegas to be working at them.
I'm not saying don't be skeptical, just make sure you're looking at *all* of the facts before you decide whether she is or isn't into you. Being wrong in either direction can be painful.