What do strippers think about customers (and what, if anything, should we do abo

56 comments

• shadowcat

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  9 years ago

  A favorite once told me that she likes me because I don't judge her. My philosophy is that I am paying for sex and that doesn't make me any better than the one accepting my money. So basically live and let live.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Rech, thanks for proving my point.
• shailynn

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  9 years ago

  ^^^^^ awesome rech - I have nothing to add to that!
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  If you understood what I wrote, you would understand that I was providing tips on how to get the hottest ass in the club, which is what I have. Treat her in a decent respectful way, pay her fairly, don't be a creepy asshole, and your mileage may go up, and the OTC prospects will definitely improve.
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  All my regular dancers are women who like me, at least as a PL if nothing more. It's not hard to tell if a dancer isn't into you. I was at the club Wed. evening and did a set with the hottest girl in the place. She did a good professional job but it was obvious she wasn't into me at all. Her gum chewing was a clue, and she made no effort to converse. Then I did two sets with an MILF I vaguely knew from when we had an argument a couple years back. We both kind of laughed it off and did some VIP. She was definitely into me! She gave a great ride and even a few mild extras. She will definitely get repete business from me even though the first girl was way hotter. I do agree that most dancers are not interested in most PL's outside of how much money they're spending but it's absolutely true that they enjoy the company of some customers way more than others. I like to stick with the girls who like me; it's more fun for us both.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  There really is nothing to do about it. We will all be creeps and pervs in the back of their minds. Now I'm not disrespectful in the slightest. I don't even like to touch and grope them during dances unless they encourage it. Im not cheap. I try to tip at least 3 or 4 dollars if I'm at the stage and often $5 and up. I'm not an old perv looking to fuck every stripper I find fuckable. I don't "eye fuck". Even still, as you put it, we're probably all lumped together in their minds no matter how we try to come across.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  The cool-poseur position on tuscl is that all that matters is the money, and you're kidding yourself if you think anything else matters. Which, ironically, is the cool-poseur position on SW too. But if you've actually been to a club and interacted, and you aren't abrasive/creepy/douchey, you know that isn't true (which is why the cool-poseur SW girls drove off any other girl who admitted they liked some of their customers, etc). That abso-fucking-lutely doesn't mean she wants you to be her boyfriend or is actually attracted to you or anything else. But there are huge benefits to be had from attaining Favorite Customer status. The guys in denial about this, just have never attained FC status.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  ^favorite customer=least creepy or least pervy.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  Overall though I do agree w\ subraman. I can tell with some* dancers, not being creepy\ douchey\ abrasive goes a long way.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Subra, well said.
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  I don't spend much time worrying about what strippers think about me. I play it cool, treat them with kindness, don't molest them ITC and certainly don't judge them, but that's just my MO and much of it is for humane reasons. But I do agree that decent treatment never hurts in greasing the skids for OTC. But beyond all of that, I don't sit in the club and ponder how I might be tripping any particular girl's sensitivites. I also have little tolerance for silly BS anymore and will usually send a girl away quickly if she's a buzz kill, regardless of how rude or abrupt I may seem. I am in the club for my entertainment, not to coddle hypersensitive dancers or those with bad hustles. I'll also add that, in some of the grittier clubs I visit, the girls will eat you alive if you don't show some backbone. In a couple of them, the other customers might too if they think you're too soft. In these types of places, more than a few of the girls will think you're odd if you don't want to fuck them. I'm starting to age out of places like this, but every so often I still get the itch to hit a down and dirty dive club.
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  I'm solidly with JS on this one. It costs me absolutely nothing to treat everyone, including dancers with respect, and the benefits of that approach are clear. So how do you look without appearing to be a perv? When the girl makes eye contact with you, don't avert your eyes like you're feeling guilty; just give her a smile. 99% of the time, she will smile back. They like to be honestly appreciated.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  "^favorite customer=least creepy or least pervy." Chessmaster gets it! :) It's like that old joke about two guys getting charged by the bear, one of them is putting on his running shoes, and the other remarks that he'll never outrun the bear even with the running shoes on. "I don't have to outrun the bear -- I just have to outrun you."
• EarlTee

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  9 years ago

  When someone asks me what my goals in life are, I always say, I want to be a little less creepy and a little less pervy.
• Dancer_

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  9 years ago

  Thanks for this thread - I definitely needed to vent, lol. Personally I can't say that I dislike most of the customers. I might be lucky. Although I noticed that now it's easier to piss me off than it was almost a year ago, when I started stripping. I seriously was such a sweetheart - "No, I don't do anything like that but we can still have a good time dancing. Sorry, I can't. Baby, you don't want to get me fired, right?". Nowadays it's like - "So you wanna fuck, huh? I can ask bouncer to bend you over and do right here in front of everyone. I mean, since you are so horny.", cussing them out and walking away. Now tuscl guys will jump on my throat after that, ugh, lol. Anyhow, I couldn't do that job if majority of custies were annoying. Some of them, however... 1)My top-hated dudes are stinky/sweaty ones. That's why I don't approach Indians unless it's dead. But if you have body odor and I am desperate enough to offer you a dance, then idgaf, you will get zero contact and don't even try to talk to me. 2) Speaking of mentally abusive guys, I don't take shit from them - I would rather go home broke than crying. Very few custies are like that though - they usually give an attitude and acting rude when you approach them or insult in the most ridiculous ways, ie "You are so big"(I am 5'5 ft and 108 lbs, that's just impossible:/); "Can you go home with me? Why not? I am not handsome enough for you? I will pay you!", 10 minutes later - "How you can even do such a dirty job, like, you will grind on anyone who pays you, literally anyone, when I was 19 like you, I worked at Subway, making sandwiches, now I have a nice office job,it pays 20$/hour and I don't do anything like that,bla bla bla". He didn't even understand what an assclown he sounded, sigh. 3) I can't stand "rapey" guys. Those who keep trying to finger/lick/kiss me despite being asked to stop. Usually this type of dude buys room assuming that extras are on menu(they aren't, my club is clean) but doesn't even bother to ask. So I start dancing and 5 minutes later he asks "That's it?So you won't blow/fuck me?", gets mad that he spent $$ on "some stupid lap-dance", lol and tries to molest me for the rest of VIP. So yeah, just be nice to me and I will make sure to do my best for you. Insult or/and keep attempting to make me tolerate something beyond my boundaries - you will get the lamest, most mechanical and boring dance in your life.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  "she is nothing more than a body for sex" Well I don't think we go to the strip club for conversation. Strippers like the unemployed felons who beat them up, and we're supposed to worry about being less pervy? I treat strippers with respect, but I don't give a fuck what they think about me.
• JamesSD

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  9 years ago

  Gross comments? A legit complaint. Guys wanting to fuck her? Sorry, if she's doing her job right, guys will want to duck her. And in the DS case, they just aren't bidding high enough. Creepy eye fucking? A girl who can't take that is in the wrong field.
• warhawks

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  9 years ago

  Whenever I go to clubs I am always respectful and never demean or say or call the girls anything derogatory. If anything, I tell them how beautiful they are and how much I appreciate them doing a very tough job at times. However, no one is forcing them to do this job as a stripper. They can always go out and get an education and do some other job. Many will say they don't have a choice. But they really do have a choice. They can choose to do it or do something else.
• GoVikings

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  9 years ago

  john, the first reason you stated i understand completely. but i have to agree with jamesSD. on the surface the final two reasons don't seem to be that big of a deal to me. after all, these women are strippers, that requires being able to tolerate quite a bit. i guess what i'm trying to say is....if strippers were making a list of reasons/things they can't stand about customers........most of these reasons aren't ones that would first come to mind smelly guys, guys
• GoVikings

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  9 years ago

  sorry, that very final line wasn't suppose to be there, typo wish TUSCL had edit option like most boards......TUSCL is stone-age lolol
• chandler

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  9 years ago

  Dancers sharing stories with you about how creepy/pervy all the "other" customers are is one of the oldest forms of SS. When she's talking somebody else, chances are you're one of the "other" customers.
• GACA

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  9 years ago

  I only get rude if they get rude first, I find that talking to them in their same manner makes them all that more comfortable with you. So polite strippers get treated politely and rude girls get treated rudely and everyone enjoys themselves
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  Ranukam is right. Its fine that you want to respect them and all that shit. But I don't care about their opinion of me. After all they take off their clothes and let strangers grope them for cash. Not everyone has the highest opinion of strippers either.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  James, yes it's only natural that every male wants to fuck her, and it's also only natural that every man who she gets naked for expects to fuck her. I get that and so does she. But there are many ways to express that desire, and the problem goes far beyond just not offering her enough money for the privilege. Some customers are such disgusting pigs that they couldn't have enough money to have her. I'm not going to repeat what some customers say to her, but it disgusts me and I'm a hardened strip club veteran. Sex worker or not, a guy who talks to dancers like some talk to her is a fucked up psycho. GoV, you may be right. I was just reporting the attitudes and experience of one dancer. Chandler, I can see how that could sometimes be the case, and I admitted in the post that I have some guilt by association as her customer. But there is no chance that she views me as just like the vile customers or that she was really talking about me.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Chess, I only care about a dancer's attitude towards me if that attitude is justified. So I care that a dancer thinks that I'm an obnoxious asshole if in fact I am being an obnoxious asshole. I also care at least a little bit what a dancer that I see regularly thinks about me, since she has an opportunity to get to know the real me. Otherwise, however, I agree that dancer's opinions of me are irrelevant. I can only control what I do, not what others think.
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  chandler: It CAN be SS but when it's a LTR (in stripper years) you get to know her, and she you, so I take everything my ATF tells me at face value because we're way beyond the need for her to make things up. Maybe a newbie will talk smack but it's obviously just that. I think JS also knows the difference between what his DS tells him and what a new dancer might.
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  Say it, rock star! Amen. IMO anyone whose default position is lack of respect for dancers deserves as lame a dance as they are likely to get.
• metaldude

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  9 years ago

  Great post and comments, been covered completely so not much else to say.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Your DS's comments sound eerily similar to those of SW – stripping is probably as much of a people job as there is – most jobs dealing directly w/ customers are tough - I guess many a stripper hates her job just as many a civi person hates theirs. Also – it takes two to tango – def many custies are 1st-class aholes – but many a dancer often contributes to the negative environment in a SC. Additionally – most women do no like to be looked-at/treated as a piece of meat or sexual object; but that is the crux of the job – a stripper is a sexual object to be lusted after – what is a PL to do when he sees a naked stripper – look away in a sheepish way? There are def certain lines that should not be crossed – but men and women often have very opposite views on sex and if it was up to strippers they would have us going in the club; not make eye contact, deposit all our $$$ on their stage; and then leave. Women in general are often difficult to understand and often difficult/hard to please – w.r.t. strippers – it's a whole – other – level.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  w.r.t. being nice/respectful to strippers and it's potential benefits – IMO that would apply to pretty much any personal or business relationship – if one is nice and respectful one will be liked more/better whether it's a stripper or your dental hygienist. I'm a glass-half-empty PL – IMO I don't think these strippers that “like us” for being nice and respectful really like us as much as they claim or as much as we think – in my glass-half-empty opinion my guess is that they say many negative things about us behind our back which we would never think they were thinking/feeling – just my opinion.
• GoVikings

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  9 years ago

  "WOMEN IN GENERAL ARE OFTEN DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND and often hard/to please" THIS^^^^^^^^
• chandler

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  9 years ago

  Although my SS comment was in reply to JS69's OP, I meant it to be read as an indefinite "you". Obviously, I'm in no position to know who among us is an exception, but I also question whether anyone can know for sure about himself amid an ongoing stripper-customer relationship.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  The comments I'm talking about from customers involve things like rape, incest, torture, and murder. Stuff that would make Bill Cosby seem like an angel Those are lines that should not be crossed, but they are with surprising regularity. No job dealing with people should ever involve that kind of shit, and that includes sex workers. As for creepy staring, I'm not mtalking about normal watching strippers naked. That's part of what a strip club is all about. If there's nothing to stare at, I'm leaving. And obviously no dancer can last for long if she's not comfortable with guys staring at her naked body I'm talking about the guys who stare intently for an entire several song set, standing right next to her and never taking their eyes off her, and either paying her nothing or giving her one dollar at the end. I've seen them, and they creep me out And yes it's a two-way street. Some dancers have miserable bitchy attitudes, and those attitudes can put the customers in the bad frame of mind. Some dancer attitudes can be as bad as customers, or worse. But my personal preference is just to stay the hell away from those girls instead of responding in kind.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  Papi---->"Your DS's comments sound eerily similar to those of SW – stripping is probably as much of a people job as there is – most jobs dealing directly w/ customers are tough - I guess many a stripper hates her job just as many a civi person hates theirs. " I reckon most strippers don't exactly love being creepy-stared at, it's a matter of to what extent they can just abide it as part of the job and continue functioning, versus getting traumatized or furious over every little thing. I think, given DS's feedback, there's multiple ways to respond. One way is to sit and criticize her honest feedback because you don't like it -- and believe me, like most of you, I roll my eyes at a stripper getting all butthurt over being asked for sex, provided it's not done in a douchey way. Or, I can take what she has to say, whether I like it or not, and figure out how to cynically twist it to my advantage. Which is the path I prefer :) You can get more mileage, and more of her time, for less $, by just being less creepy and less douchey and establishing a little bit of trust in the stripper/customer relationship.
• rickthelion

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  9 years ago

  I'm in total agreement with my future viceroy rickdugan. That guy cuts a dashing figure in a suit and he KNOWS female hairless apes like the back of his hand. I do have one request for John Smith. How does your DS feel about penile spines? I'd like to relax by getting some female hairless apes to blow me when I visit the states on my mission to exact justice for Cecil. Will she suck a real penis - a lion's penis - without drama?
• chandler

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  9 years ago

  JamesSD wrote: "Guys wanting to fuck her? Sorry, if she's doing her job right, guys will want to duck her. […] Creepy eye fucking? A girl who can't take that is in the wrong field." This isn't about strippers who CAN'T take it. It's about some of the things they HAVE TO take in order to make money doing their job, and how they privately feel about it. Taking it has a cumulative toll. Personally, I'm glad that the field has room for girls who haven't yet grown the hide of a rhinoceros…at least until they burn out.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  " The bottom line, she confirmed that she and many other dancers can't stand most customers. A big reason is cause many treat her in a very disrespectful way. " I think this should be obvious. But it is also why at SC's and AMP's, many of the girls really like me. I don't treat them differently from other women. My money pays for them being able to be their. But it is not to abuse them and I don't offer it as though it is in exchange for sex acts. That it might amount to that, is something which comes from them, not me. And then when I first registered on TUSCL I explained that always the first thing I try to do is get the girl off script. In just the way I talk to her I try to let her get to know me and try to learn about her beyond the work environment. Her script is how she deals with people she has just met and with people who often treat her like a prostitute. I let her get to know me as early on as possible, and I treat her just like I would any other woman. When I first joined, posing these sorts of accounts sent some very vocal people ballistic. SJG [view link]
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  [view link] Thank you, jerks and assholes... July 23, 2010 • ...for coming into strip clubs and treating the dancers like shit. Thank you for playing macho man, slapping their asses, and making stupid jokes. Thank you for not tipping them when they wave those asses in your face. Thank you for bragging to your buddies about what you'd do to them if you ever got them alone. Thank you for calling them whores and cunts behind their backs, as if they can't hear you. Thank you for driving them straight into my lap, thankful for a kind word and a few dollar stage tip, thirsty for a drink, willing to let hands and tongues wander for the price of a simple "do you mind" and "thanks", and grateful for a seat away from the dance floor where they can avoid your sorry ass. You make my job *so* much easier. Keep up the good work.
• GoVikings

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  9 years ago

  ^^^^^ A blast from the past!
• shailynn

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  9 years ago

  Let's look at this from a different angle. I am in sales for a living. I have to hustle in a similar fashion just like a stripper. I have customers that I make a lot of money off of and can't stand. I sometimes shudder when my phone rings and I knows it's them, but I put up with their bullshit because I make a lot of money with them. I will bend over backwards for these customers essentially giving them whatever they ask for - like a stripper, I am performing extras for these people, and most of the time I am compensated for it, if not immediately - I am in the long run. Because I perform extras I can usually go to these customers when I need a favor. "Hey I need you to buy so much of this, if you do that I can do this for you." Most understand I search your back you scratch mine. I have other customers which I can't stand that I make very little money off of. I put up with their bullshit too but to a limit. Some of these customers were such a pain in the ass that I quit doing business with them. They wanted extras all the time but never compensated me for it. Lastly I have customers I love, some have even become friends over the years, some have even met my wife and been to my house. Some, I make a lot of money with and some I make little money with. But the ones I make little money with still try their best to push my products and help me out. I enjoy these customers and will go out of my way to help them. There are times when I will even help them more and make less money with them than a big fish I can't stand. Bottom line is the only reason I interact with all of these people is to make me money, and even though I really like some of these customers I couldn't say confidently that I would have been friends with them even if work didn't bring us together. I would compare having a customer meet my wife or coming to my house the same as a striker doing OTC with their customers. Certain level of trust has been achieved. Ask yourself - what type of customer are you?
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  What strippers do is something which they see as being very personal. They are especially sensitive to things which reflect on their social standing and desirability. So while they have indeed learned to function in a hostile environment, motivated by the good money, things can still go much better if you learn to treat them with the same respect you would give any other woman. For myself, I usually get treated extremely well in strip clubs and AMPs, because I treat the women well. I don't place them into some special category. I don't treat them like prostitutes. I don't expect them to solicit me. I don't ask them things like, "Do you do extras" or "How much for ...". I just let it happen with them. Really, I just come on to them and make it happen. I orchestrate it so that I am picking the girl, not the other way around. SJG [view link]
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  I treat all women like civilians, and in all situations. I explained this when I first joined TUSCL, now over a year ago. Some very vocal people went ballistic. But I tell you it works. It is why I often get Girl Friend Auditions in AMPs, and why strippers are often spending hours talking to me, essentially for free. SJG [view link]
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  GMD, good historical post. Some things never change. But while the assholes sonetimes drive them into the arms of decent customers, I think as Chandler suggests it sometimes drives them out of the business prematurely. Or it makes them so jaded that they might as well quit. I'm pissed because I see this happening to the DS. She is the most amazing stripper I've ever met but she is already starting to get burned out. And while she is great to me cause I've known her for so long, she's not like that with many other customers. She's getting jaded and cynical and while that has several causes, asshole customers are the leading cause. Call me a stripper web pink site bitch all you want to, but I have a right to be pissed off about it.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  If you talk to strippers, what you hear is how psychologically difficult the job is. It is the customers, but it is also the other girls too. Some of them try to incapacitate the competition. They try to break them down as soon as they get into the building, so that they won't have the necessary confidence to be able to do the job. SJG [view link]
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Shailynn, good analogies. SJG, you carry it way too far, and your views on pot are asinine, but you are correct to the extent that you advocate treating sex workers with dignity and respect.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  Simple solution js69. Forget the ds so you don't get too attached. Makes it easier to move on when she leaves.
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  Jeez, JS. If your DS burns out and stops dancing, you'll have to marry the girl to keep getting mind blowing sex, not to mention procuring weed! ;-)
• UKfan

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  9 years ago

  I try not to think about what they think about us as it will make me have less of a good time. Also I am not there to try and win a girlfriend but to simply have a good time. I usually bring in a couple hundred and if that's too cheap for them then I don't care. Also I don't push for extras or try anything in the dance area that I shouldn't.
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  @JS69, I agree with chandler as well, but the best you can do, short of taking a trip down the same road I did, which I wouldn't suggest, is to continue to be kind to her, commiserate when she complains, and hope she doesn't associate *you* with the unpleasantness. Beware.
• rh48hr

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  9 years ago

  I won't get to in depth as most everything has been covered, but the old adage "treat others as you want to be treated" should be applied here.
• tumblingdice

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  9 years ago

  My girl tells me [view link] would be surprised to learn who the biggest racist is on this board.
• ButterMan

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  9 years ago

  I think they like me because I treat them with respect but I don't really feel sorry for them when others dont, most not all but most strippers date drug dealers or unemployed dead beats. And as everyone knows abuse is common in these relationship. and most of these girls are attracted to this type of man. I treat them decent because thats who i am plus it increases my chance of OTC.
• alldaylong

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  9 years ago

  Too many guys fall into the "Us against them" trap and I myself at times am guilty of this as well. But at the end of the day they don't want to be seen as pieces of meat any more than we want to be seen as walking ATMs. The cynics will continue with their cynicism but I still hold that treating them well will make your time better.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  GMD, I agree. That's the best that I can do.
• lopaw

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  9 years ago

  Treat her like a human being. Pretty simple, really.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  JS69, If I see a girl I like, then I'm certainly not going to treat her like a prostitute. And I certainly don't want to be treated like a client. [view link] And if I don't see a girl I like, then I'm just going to pass by. Why do guys treat sex workers bad? Maybe because they feel jealous about the kind of sex appeal based power they have, that power to vacuum out wallets? That power only works in certain situations. I think the musician David Crosby was right, talking about the 60's, "We were right about sex, but wrong about drugs." SJG [view link]