The Invisible Man

Yes it happens and the only solution is to be aggressive and go after them.

I have made the same complaint on here and some of my homies called me out for being a little bitch.

You just have to be more assertive and take more initiative. Go in with the feeling that these girls owe you nothing and it's your job to get their attention. Really it's not your job, but if you can at least attempt to change your view you may have a better time.

Here's my experience. In the rare occasion I see a stripper that I fall in love with, I damn near knock chairs over to get across the room to meet her. When I'm somewhere and the best thing I see is a high 7 I feel like she needs to be coming over to me - wrong, I need to treat her the same way as a higher tier girl.

Again not all girls "get it" and I've had nights where I would talk, tip and introduce myself to 4 girls and maybe only one will come talk to me... Other reference - if you go on off nights (not Friday or Saturday) you will likely get more responses from your advances. Also a little arrogance is not a bad thing. None of these girls boyfriends are nice guys so they really don't get turned on by that in the club either.

Bait them in. Put a stack of dollar bills on the table. They'll notice the cash.

Damn strippers! Some nights they ignore me and I feel lonely. Other nights they hustle me and won't give me a moment's peace. Why won't they behave exactly as I want them to?

When I was a newbie I used to leave the club when know one would come over and talk to me after a maximum of 2 hours. Then I decided WTF if you want dances from a girl go up and tell her. Believe it or not some even told me "well all you had to do is ask". Believe it or not some girls think we are supposed to ask them. Some have even complained to me they hadn't gotten any dances that night and I ask them "have you asked anyone ?" The answer is always "no".

could be a bunch of things. Waiting for their regulars and feel that's good enough money to be done with for the night. After all, even some hoes keep promises and who's to say that he won't show up right while she's in the middle of your 10 dance session (she can't just up and leave right in the middle of the session. You have the ability to report her to the manager after all). Could be she's happy with the money she made for the night and the boss requires them to stick around for a set amount of hours, they could just be truly lazy fuckers. best thing to do is to come looking par for the course (depends on your club's demographic) and only on the slow nights. Usually weeknights but could vary on location. At least you know you'll get at least one hit.

when I started off I refused to approach a dancer because I came here for the fantasy of a girl just waltzing up to me and acting like she wanted every part of me. Today I still feel the same since as the customer, I came here to for the fantasy of hot women wanting to make me feel good, not chase the woman like it's the damn real world. of course, I now only go on the weeknights and if a 10 needs persuation, I get in her line of sight somehow and throw her small gestures to come talk to me.That's the best you get out of me. If you're not down with that then coming to the girl won't make the dance any better as she clearly doesn't want to be bothered with dancing at the moment.

Life is too damned short to wait for a stripper, possibly busy, possibly popular, possibly drunk, possibly having a bad day, possibly jaded, possibly frustrated, possibly shy, possibly a thousand other crazy things, to read my mind or notice the signs that I want her to come over.

Yes, it's probably stupid for a girl in an empty to hang out at the bar and pay no attention to the one guy in the place. So what? If you want to grope her, walk up and talk to her. If she's truly not interested, you'll know in mere moments.

If I'm interested, I'll walk up to the stage and tip them. That's the extent of it. I'm not going to beg. plenty of other girls that are willing.

I got noticed by a lot of dancers last night. A couple that noticed me last night didn't even remember me from a week or two ago. What did I do different? I had a haircut. Maybe that made me look younger. Maybe they noticed me tipping, buying dances, and buying some drinks. I think one dancer thought I was rich. I tipped her a one, then another one when she said is that all, but then she said she would take a 5, 10, or 20. I'm not a rap star or Donald Trump. Some dancers live in bizarro world expecting tips for nothing just because she got on stage. I would have liked to be invisible to her. She didn't even take her top off on that stage. Latest in months I stayed at a strip club too. something to do with end of the month? I saw dancers I hadn't seen in a long time.

I probably got rid of my invisibility cloak by spending money on dancers that I never met before. Older regular dancers and newer dancers all started to smell money. Like putting chum in the water.

"Damn strippers! Some nights they ignore me and I feel lonely. Other nights they hustle me and won't give me a moment's peace. Why won't they behave exactly as I want them to?"

Ats funny.

Fast, like everybody else said, man up and go get what you want. Only loosers and newbies (ie almost everyone in a strip club) sit there silently fuming over the fact that the dancers arent served to them on a silver platter.

Sometimes it's like chum in the water and they won't leave you alone. Other times not one will even look at you. Can't win. Worst case you approach one and she says no. Big deal. Her loss. One time I did approach a "10" and got a shitty dance. It pissed me off enough that it took a while before I approached another dancer, but eventually I did and her dances were great.

@OP I am a strong believer in putting "your good time" squarely into your own hands. Especially at a strip club!! You can approach any bitch you want with the "Hey I'd like a dance" or "When are you free for a dance" either line is music to their ears. They don't like you unless they know 100% you're a PAYING customer. Quite honestly that "aggressive" approach is the 100% best way to let theme know you are paying. Buy the one dance, and if you want more bang for your buck, let her know you are going to try another dancer but might come find her later....she'll know you have cash and try to convince you to spend it on her.

My ATF is like that. Unless her rent is due and none of her regulars are coming in, she won't hustle guys for a lap dance. Our money isn't always as valuable to dancers as we might think.

Yeh, it does not help thing when the girls are not approaching you. (As I keep saying 'encouragement' by the dancer is always appreciated.) But they get rejected more often then not. So, I can see how they lose motivation.

For the most part I've always been in the camp that if a dancer does not approach me then I assume she does not want to dance for me and me asking her to do something I “assume” she does not want will lead to a lackluster uninspired performance/dance.

But the more I SC the more that I have to accept not to expect much if anything either from strip clubs or strippers – b/c of the environment; I have sorta come to the conclusion one can't just rely that strip clubs nor strippers will do the right thing – I now try to be more proactive when I really want some attention – i.e. it's better that it's up to you/me than leave it to the strippers.

I'm a single guy w/ a fairly flexible schedule and a decent amount of time on my hands – often times I don't feel like having to ask strippers for a dance and that's fine b/c I have the flexibility to come back the next day – i.e. one visit is not the end all be all for me - but if I really want attention on a particular visit; then I don't leave it in the hands of a stripper's “customer service abilities”.

I like the results I get picking the girl I want better than having the girl nobody else wants pick me.

chandler for the win.

Like Papi I used to never approach them. I figured that them approaching us was a big part of the fantasy. It's amazing to me how widespread and how often we are ignored. But I still am not too crazy about approaching them. I found a pseudo compromise by sitting at the rail alot more than I ever used to. That way I can see and talk to her and most of the time the ones that I really like and tip heavily will come over and offer dances. I did get clam-jammed doing that yesterday, tho. I was at a well known HM OC club sitting at the rail, happily watching and tipping all of the talent. It was only me and one other PL. I had my eye on a particularly cute Asian dancer when a hot blonde dancer comes over and asks if she could sit with me at the stage. Huh? What could I say? So she sits with me and we start to chat.......she was definitely cute but not really my type. She never hit me up for dances, and I wasn't going to ask her for any so we sat there together for the better part of an hour. Looking back I did save a helluva lot of money by only tipping and not getting any dances from anybody. Lol just when I thought that I had a great new system working for me....

“... a hot blonde dancer comes over and asks if she could sit with me at the stage. Huh? What could I say? So she sits with me and we start to chat.......she was definitely cute but not really my type. She never hit me up for dances, and I wasn't going to ask her for any so we sat there together for the better part of an hour ...”

Ouch – it's hard to tell someone to leave whose company you don't want but I would have lasted at most 5 mins b/f I would have said something.

For some of us it's harder to say “no” and we may not take the appropriate action in the heat of battle; that's why it's better to have some canned excuses ahead of time that we can just use w/o having to think of something in the heat of the moment

“... The Invisible Man ...”

Try wrapping a bandage around your head next time and see if that helps you not being as invisible – just saying

@Papi - I do have some ready-to-go excuses for when a dancer comes over to me and plops herself down at my table. But to have a dancer decide to approach me and sit with me ringside took me totally by surprise. I think that I was more in shock and by the time I composed myself she was already getting very comfy in the seat. In hindsight I guess I can't complain too much.....she was very pretty, easy to talk to, and she wound up saving me a lot of money. Unfortunately some of the dancers who were onstage during all of this did not seemed too pleased about sharing their stagetime with a fellow dancer sitting right there for such a long period of time.

^ yeah – sometimes the circumstances change slightly to sorta throw off our “System”; then we just gotta add another tweak to our System.

This problem mainly arises because you are viewing them as human beings when they are really commodities. If you have the price and you make it known you should not have a problem. If you still have a problem you must REALLY have a problem.

i remember during one of my rare daytime visits when this happened to me. its even worse when it happens during the day because the club is obviously a lot less busier then. i was at this club in winston salem north carolina and two dancers (both which i was very much interested in) i tipped fairly generously didn't come over and talk after they got off stage. they did say thanks for the tips, but didn't follow up by coming over and talking to me. instead, they went to the bar and sorta talked to the bartender and the rest of the dancers. meh. just thinking of this frustrates me

overall tho, this really hasn't happened to me that much at all

Yeah it happens during the day too, and its not uncommon at all. Sometimes I'll walk into a club during a particularly dead dayshift and see maybe 3 or 4 other PL's and all of the girls are sitting around on their phones. You'd think that when a new wallet walks in the room they'd all jump up and run towards me. But they'll just look up lazily from where they're sitting and go right back to their cellphones. It sucks.

What I do is wait for them to perform on stage then give her big tips. If she knows what's up then she'll come over. . Works all the time for me.

Do you tip the dancers on stage? Do you make eye contact with the ones you want dances from? Do you tip the waitresses? I think all of those things are important as being recognized as someone who has money, is willing to spend it, and is interested in the dancer. Also, just asking works, someitmes dancers figure you aren't interested in dances. Not sure how they come to that conclusion, but I have had several tell me when I asked them for a dance that they didn't think I was interested in dances. Not sure why I gave that impression, but they got it. So, if you are feeling ignored, go ahead and ask for a dance. That usually works and shows other dancers that you are interested in dances and gets the ball rolling so to speak.

I look, I tip and if no one approaches, I leave. I am there to be solicited and serviced and not the other way around. LIfe is too short to act like a beggar when I am the one with the $.

edak, you miss out on a lot with that attitude. If I followed that approach, for example, I would never have met the most awesome dancer that I could possibly imagine. Some things in life are worth pursuing. This includes nude young women who will have sex with you.

I agree with JS69 on that one. Both my ATF and the MILF I'm seeing were dancers *I* approached. I don't even want to think about what things might have been like had I not met the former.

In fact, is have to say that *most* of the girls I've ended up having sex with were ones I'd approached. Not all, just most.

" I look, I tip and if no one approaches, I leave. I am there to be solicited and serviced and not the other way around. LIfe is too short to act like a beggar when I am the one with the $."

On the contrary, your life must be too long if you have time to waste by leaving disappointed rather than asking a hot dancer to join you.

yeah i think part of the fantasy is having hot women chase you but in reality better to be proactive and and not neccesarilly "chase" them but make it known you are interested. most of the time they seem happy to oblige.

Those types of dancers will never get a dime from me. In a club when they do a tip walk, I ignore them. When they persist, I simply say, "I've been here some time and you didn't bother to acknowledge me and now you want money? Won't happen." Now dancers talk, and the others seem to "see" me all of a sudden.

The OP said: "Don't they realize we have money to spend on them if they just show a little interest in us?"

This is the attitude that leads some to refuse to approach dancers. I had that attitude for years. But think about it. How could she possibly know that you have money to spend if you're not spending it. How can she possibly know that you are into her when you haven't told her and showed her?

We sometimes fail to realize that these girls deal with broke losers all night every night. The club is full of guys with little money who come for the free show. They watch, they leer, everything but spend. How can she know that you are not just one of these broke losers who populate the club? She can't know unless you tell her and show her by seeking her out.

Sure, she could flirt with every guy in the club, wasting her time with the losers until she finally finds you. But I can understand why that prospect is an unattractive one and some girls expect men to man up and approach. If you're too timid to approach a stripper, how could you ever approach any woman?

That's one thing that took a long time to get used to when I was new. But even then, they still make it too much work for you. At my most frequently visited club, I've told them I was interested in a dance and they will tell me to go to the last stage and wait til they are off. I don't want to walk all the way across the room when I know they walking all the way across the room in my direction after they get offstage. It's like I'm their tool.

I've been about 50/50 on approaching/being approached - just like civvies (back in the day!).

One thing that nobody has mentioned is this: while you do have the cash and you are ready to spend, so do most of the other guys sitting in the club! Given this dynamic, and the sometimes abysmal success rate of "wanna dance", is it any wonder that a lot of girls just sit together and play with their phones?

All three of the clubs that I go to most often have tip walks. I know that a lot of you guys hate them, but even tipping $2 to $5, it only costs me about $20 per hour. For that, I get to interact with every dancer, find out if we have any kind if connection and both of us have the option of asking. Plus, if you are tipping over her average, she will know that you have cash.

Is it fail safe? No. I once watched a seaman from my ship get turned down by a prostitute in a bar in Barcelona. He was a super nice guy, but had a face that looked like it had lost a fight with a food processor.....

It's well and good to say, "I'm the customer, and I have cash, so they should be coming to me!". Of course, this may cause you to watch the guy on the other side of the room snake the girl you were interested in because he didn't have qualms about asking.

I'm still mostly in the camp of feeling like I shouldn't have to ask for dances, mainly for the reasons Papi stated above. If I walk up to a girl, either I have to be really bored or she has to be really fine. I'm fine with sitting around, listening to the music for a few hours, and then going home with 90-95% of my money.

"Maybe they don't want to deal with rejection"...that's part of the job. It's part of any sales job, and given the facts that they often work as contractors and that their money is commission-based, they might want to get on the stick.

I'll tell you a weird thing -- when I was younger and far more handsome, the Invisible Man Syndrome happened to me far more than it does now. I mean, not even close, it's rare for me to feel that way anymore... which of course brings up one possible explanation: as much as I make fun of SW in general, I do think that there is some truth to the notion that strippers get good at profiling customers (is he creepy, is he the kind of guy who is attracted to me, does he have money) and like any good sales rep, they avoid bad prospects. I don't think they're nearly as good at it as they claim, and I also think wanting to party or sheer laziness factor in also -- but if I ended up the invisible man often, I might be taking a quick look at myself.

Beyond that, being approached by beautiful women and getting to give them a pretty public yes or no is part of my guilty-pleasure enjoyment of strip clubs. That said, if there's a woman I have to have, and she hasn't approached me, I catch her on stage, and when she comes to pick up her tips, I tell her, "if you're not already with a customer, come join me at my table over there", then get up and walk away. It works every time, unless she's already with a customer.

Fuck, I wish we could put this subject to rest.

Let me put it this way:

Does the shark wait for the prey to swim into its jaws?

Evidently the shark sometimes DOES wait, but if we anchovies approach them and ask nicely, they may come with us and wiggle around on our laps :) :)

not this question again. look, face the fact that you are a loser who has to go to strip clubs to be near a woman. if you go into a room full of crack whores and prostitutes who will get a beating from their pimp if they don’t bring home the cash and none of these desperate darlings will approach you then there is a reason.

maybe you are butt ugly or hygienically challenged, idk, but considering that your only competition is other losers the reason must be REALLY bad. in that case if you want any female companionship your only option is to throw away any pretense of pride you may have left and try to chase down and corner a slut (preferably in full view of her pimp) and beg her to take your money (note: studies are inconclusive whether groveling on your knees helps or hurts your chances)

and don’t worry about that overwhelming and all too familiar sense of shame and humiliation that comes with being a little bitch for some pot-bellied over-the-hill stripper. you can tell yourself later on that you were being a shark while you cry yourself to sleep

Lol nice analogy Subraman

I think "just ask" works more often in this secenario than asking for sex. I don't think I have ever been denied yet. And I hope you're not waiting for the hottest strippers to approach you because it doesn't happen. Its usually the bottom feeders that approach customers.

@DocPhil - lol. hat was funny as hell